Double standards...

Here's a perfect example of double standards, I think.

Bumped into my ex husband in town yesterday. We split five years ago and haven't really spoken much since then. Well I felt I should be polite so just stopped to say hi and ask how he was. After saying he was fine, he said to me that his friend Tim had seen me in town with "a young guy" and had said to him that he thought it looked "weird", and what on earth did I think I was doing going around with such a young man, that I was making a fool of myself.

Conversation then went as follows:

Me: "So, did Tim think you were making a fool of yourself when you were dating me then? Was our relationship weird to him?"

Him: "No...!"

Me: "Why do you think this is?"

Him: "Ummm..."

I was 11 years and 4 months younger than my ex husband. I was just turned 20 when I met him. I am now 11 years and 4 months older than my 19 year old boyfriend.

I honestly don't think that even crossed my ex's mind when he decided to laugh about my relationship with his friend...

Just makes me a bit angry that people think this way, really. Had to vent!

**APPLAUSE***

Good girl, and perfect comeback.

Yeah...it's ridiculous isn't it? No one thinks twice about an OM/YW, unless it's a really, really big gap. But OW/YM...they can't figure that one out, even if it's just a few years. It makes no sense.

Look at how the media makes such a big deal about these famous OW/YM couples, when it's hardly mentioned when it's OM/YW. They made such a big deal about Demi and Ashton, for example, when they are only 16 years apart. That's not really such a big deal. And she looks good. Yeah, he looks younger than her...but look at some of these other OM/YW famous couples where frankly I don't think the man looks too hot. In OW/YM famous couples, the woman almost always looks hot or at least very attractive. Yet they make a big deal about it.

And in movies, you routinely see leading ladies/men where the man is old enough to be the woman's father or even grandfather, and not a mention is made of it...as if it's perfectly normal and no one is every going to bat an eye. But I'm always shocked when you actually see an actress who is the same-age as the leading man being cast as his wife or GF. You rarely if ever see it the other way around, where there is an OW/YM relationship in a film, which is not commented on or explained in some way. I would like to see it where it's just treated like a normal relationship.

Ex husbands just like to be b*tchy, imo.

Prolly the happy look on your face wound him up....

Just moved back to my home town and I know my ex is around somewhere. Surprised I haven't bumped into him yet.

I have a wicked comeback ready tho, I have a copy of our divorce papers from Japan to hand to him in my bag just in case....(in Japan just one of you can get the divorce sorted as long as you have both party's signature).

We had a ym/ow marriage, so he can just bite me if he has something to say! Jajaja!:D

this was more about the exhusbands issues than reality.

i *sort* of experienced a double standard just today. my aunt wrote me a message talking about how the age difference bothered her. she said she understood how i could be attracted to my partner because i have always been older than my years, but WHY would she be attracted to me? having had different experiences and being at a different place in life. that something must be wrong with her. the judgement of others is so painful, and so unfounded....

i know! what's up with that!
he's probably very jealous and has to make a big thing of it.

but i'm happy for you!!!

almost two years ago, my ex (during a heated email exchange that doesn't happen anymore) mentioned the word "fetus" in a sentence about Rob. it was a twist on "cradle robbing". Now, his fiance (my ex's fiance) is only three years older than Rob. My ex was two years younger than me. So that would put them at a 13-year age gap. (27/40) ??!!!???!!!

Pot.Kettle.Black. Only I don't want to use that phrase, but I can't think of any other. And yes he was with her at the time. :rolleyes:

Amazing, isn't it?

I've dealt with crap from people outside of me and my fiance's immediate family (Our families have been awesome. My fiances mother is in an 11 year AG marriage OW/YM).

I've learned not to talk to them about my situation and when they ask about it I generally something along the lines of (depending on my mood):

1. Old enough to get me off.
2. Young enough to get me off.
3. Silly! You know if I don't reveal my age I'm really not going to reveal his!

Better to ignore the question then fight their pea-headed rationale.

Now, my exhusband is generally a pain in the arse to deal with. But, when I disclosed my fiance was only 19 his response was great. He said, "Shoot! If I could get a 19 year old I'd go for it in a heartbeat. Congrats, any tips?".

All my friends and my kids adore him. That speaks more volumes than anything anyone could say.

I spent a year regretting and denying him. I've got to a point that I just blow them off and own up to being with him. Feels good to let go of their drama. And they call him immature...bunch of jealous brats!

Just a quick note -- I was the PRINCESS of double-standards!

When my ex started dating a girl who was closer in age to our eldest son than to us, I was horrible (if you've ever seen "Bewitched," I was like the nosey neighbor, Gladys, always peeking through the curtains to get a glimpse without anyone seeing me) and I had plenty to say about it -- it was disgraceful that he was dating someone so young! How could he? Ew!

And then I met my Tim. Who is only 3.5 years older than my son. Ain't life a kick in the butt? I've been eating humble pie ever since...

:D

I live in LA. Men look interested and women look jealous.
If people say anythign just say "isn't it great? The sex is faaaaaaaaabulous!":p

And then I met my Tim. Who is only 3.5 years older than my son. Ain't life a kick in the butt? I've been eating humble pie ever since...

You know, if my ex had met his current girlfriend (who's 8 years younger than him) prior to me meeting my fiance I believe I would've behaved the same way.

Thank goodness it didn't happen though. I tend to be infamous for foot-in-mouth syndrome. Actually coined a running joke with my friends that I'm, yet again, having Fillet-of-sole. :p

Yeah...it's ridiculous isn't it? No one thinks twice about an OM/YW, unless it's a really, really big gap.

That is true in some situations and circumstances (including Hollywood) but not true across the board.

Right or wrong, I know a girl who started dating a 30 y/o when she was 23 and all her friends thought it was "gross". :( They are still together 9 years later and those same friends still call it "gross".

Just to point out that OM/YW couples do have problems sometimes too.

But it's still much worse for us OW/YM couples, no question.

Here's a perfect example of double standards, I think.

Bumped into my ex husband in town yesterday. We split five years ago and haven't really spoken much since then. Well I felt I should be polite so just stopped to say hi and ask how he was. After saying he was fine, he said to me that his friend Tim had seen me in town with "a young guy" and had said to him that he thought it looked "weird", and what on earth did I think I was doing going around with such a young man, that I was making a fool of myself.

Conversation then went as follows:

Me: "So, did Tim think you were making a fool of yourself when you were dating me then? Was our relationship weird to him?"

Him: "No...!"

Me: "Why do you think this is?"

Him: "Ummm..."

I was 11 years and 4 months younger than my ex husband. I was just turned 20 when I met him. I am now 11 years and 4 months older than my 19 year old boyfriend.

I honestly don't think that even crossed my ex's mind when he decided to laugh about my relationship with his friend...

Just makes me a bit angry that people think this way, really. Had to vent!


Hooray, for you, Rosiecotton:

In fact, I'm angry for and with you. I like younger women, but I CAN'T STAND double standards, myself. Please vent with your friends here. I'm entirely on your side. Cheers!

Demi Moore b. 1962 + Ashton Kutcher b.1978= Huge media frenzy & nasty comments

Tom Cruise b.1962 + Katie Holmes b. 1978 = Tom Cat???

Just Pi$$es me off.

Rabbit

Isn't it nice that we get to be part of a Revolution?? :D

Yep and I fired the first shot in 1981 (YM 20, OW 34). :D