how can you tell how competibile emotionally/mentally you two are?

Hi there,

question here : with the age gap of (minimum) 6 years in your OWYM relationship, how can you tell if you will eventually be competible with your YM ?

i have read some posts from members here that there will be occassions where the Ym will be thinking kind of differently from the OW. one of the reasons is also because of life experiences, whereby, the OW has gone thru much more in her life, and definately experience makes a person wiser, isn't it ?

so, how do you combat this compatibility issue ? i'm sure if you two love each other, it would be kind of hard to actually deal with this issue regularly ...

how would you tackle this issue the best way ?

If you enjoy each other, you stick around. If you make each other crazy, you don't. Each time the relationship shifts to a deeper level and you wonder if every thing is still ok, you can apply above advice. If you're not compatable, you will figure it out sooner or later, so don't worry so much about it. . .;)

Honestly it really all comes back to a large pocket of understanding from each side involved for me.

There are occasions where I bite my tongue till it bleeds (figuratively that is) to prevent mothering him.

I've found that me and my fiance's compatibility has grown stronger and weaker in ways. Stronger in the sense that he has taught me ways to handle things differently than I have in the past. He has made me a better mother and lover.

We are weaker in our hopes and expectations of each other. When we dated it was very lovey-dovey. We promised each other the world and moved in together with the greatest of intentions. Many of our promises have not panned out and real world stressors have stepped in and taken the shine off our relationship.

But we are both still mutually invested in the success of this relationship. So our compatability has evolved into a delicate balancing act of being conscious of each other's needs. And since we both understand our roles we are extremely compatible. I pray that we always remember that too.

I don't think compability mentally or emotionally necessarily has to do with age. It's about personality and chemistry between to people.

But if it comes to practical experience and wisdom an older woman often has a lot more of that. And how to deal with that? Perhaps what you can do as an OW is not to interfere to much in a YMs decision in life and if he ask for it give him some advice. The risk is otherwise he might feel like you mothering him to much.

One word answer:


TIME.

I don't know if the average person has gone through much more than someone who is 6 years younger. In a few years, it shouldn't matter at all. Like they say... Time will tell. :)