Why are relationships so difficult

Hi...

Well, that's the question why are relationships so difficult? Sometimes you could be forgiven for thinking that they were invented yeterday, yet come 2006 have people really changed that much? I don't think they have.

Because a relationship counts on both people involved being on the same page for the next 20+ years without getting sick of it and each other.

No easy feat.

**EDIT: For yet again one of my typos, lol!**

Note: My reply applies to average relationships that don't include physical and mental abuse.

All of those adorable, older couples who've been together more than 40 years didn't just happen to luck out and marry someone they like. They made the decision to stick together through thick and thin. And that's really the only difference I see between then and now - keeping two different people with two different sets of ideas in synch for years and years is hard work. Our parents and grandparents knew it and accepted it. Our generation is a society of quitters.

We're a quick-fix, out-with-the-old-in-with-the-upgrade, self-indulgent society.

Don't get me wrong - if I dared to say I'm any better than anyone else, I'd espect to be handed a black kettle faster than you can say "hedgehog." But, after my most recent break up before I met my husband, it dawned on me that something's wrong with that quick-fix mentality and I decided to change.

If you only knew! 44 years and still counting. You have to be able to withstand a few screaming fights! :D

I intend to find out! :p

Another really valuable thing to discover is that you can be totally in the wrong about something, and he still loves you anyway. You can fall down on your responsibilities, and he picks up for you, or failing that, still loves you anyway.

I was married 15 years before I found out I could stand my ground, scream and rage, and even be totally wrong, and he still loves me anyway. Out of fear he would leave me as my father had, I never tested my love for 15 years. I even went bonkers that year, as my son was at a bad age, and I raged regularly, and still, he loved me, he stayed, we fought and fought, and ultimately, we both won! If you can last through three teenagers and still be together, it's all growth from there, and gets better all the time.

It's what I pray my children have. It's why I worry about my daughter in her age gap relationship. I don't doubt he loves her now....but will he 15 years from now?

Thanks to all. Yes, I've also of course seen those 'lovely old couples' who have been together for decades; but how do we really know that? So you see an older couple going down the street, or where ever; they look together, but you don't know whether they are just good friends both going to the same social group and that they've just walked out of the nearest meeting hall or pub. Sorry for wafling here...

What I really meant by my initial post was, why is starting a relationship with an OW seemingly so difficult for a YM. See the thing is, life is short for all of us, or it can be - and this is not a rehersal. As such, one should start as they intend to carry on, which means not dawdling too much. If one is honest and upfront from the outset in communication, etc, (perhaps naively... but then you have to take a chance sometimes) towards another prospective party, then that other party should be equally honest; their true name, address, etc - otherwise what is the point? Life is too short to mess about. You must cut to the chase, that's what I believe:rolleyes:

You can clap best with 2 hands, or 4. Oh well, where is my other pair of hands :sad:

Hello, folks. I am one of those who is dating a younger man--13 years my junior. I have always been a little jealous but it's getting worse. I think I am intimidated by younger (espec. if they are pretty) women. My boyfriend is the type who looks at other women while Im with him and this doesnt help. MEN, what are you thinking when you do that??? Just admiring the view or wishing you were with them? It could be both I think, and hence, the jealousy. Any help out there?

Thanks to all. Yes, I've also of course seen those 'lovely old couples' who have been together for decades; but how do we really know that?

Maybe it's just me not being so young anymore - I ask questions and listen to the answers; that's how I know! I think that we practically ignore one of our most valuable resources available to us: the wisdom of older people. And I soak up everything they have to share like a sponge!

Hello, folks. I am one of those who is dating a younger man--13 years my junior. I have always been a little jealous but it's getting worse. I think I am intimidated by younger (espec. if they are pretty) women. My boyfriend is the type who looks at other women while Im with him and this doesnt help. MEN, what are you thinking when you do that??? Just admiring the view or wishing you were with them? It could be both I think, and hence, the jealousy. Any help out there?


Have you tried discussing this issue with him?? it is obviously bothering you A LOT....and yes anybody can say that he is just looking that as long as he does not touch, you are safe..BIG MISTAKE THERE IMO
When i am with a woman, she is the center of my attention, I don't care if Vanessa Willams is right beside her. But I guess not all men, irrelevant of age or background are the same.


To the original poster:

I think there is always going to be that quick anticipation that develops between two people.
Are things easier/faster with younger women (ones our age, rather than one who is 10+ older, or divorced) than older??
Older women tend to want to take things easier (at least the smart ones) and hod back as long as possible.
I would never rush an older gal into something she is not ready for, especially if I really like her. I would send her the wrong signals. Nothing wrong with letting her know how much over your head you are for her, she will appreciate that VERY much and respect you for it

I was involved in a long term relationship with a woman, she is 14 years older.....she truly did and still does love me (we ended it only weeks ago, but even for some years it was on and off.....things happened TOO fast right from the start and i did not value her love during all this years. We did not have any type of abusive reactions towards one another ever, but the relationship lacked essence.....love.....WANTING to be with the other person....I was not and I am not in love with her...I care for her.


So: patience is the key to her trust. Perseverance if the green light and right signals are there, and in time you will be the king of her heart.



Attractive31

Being married a long time does not mean they are happy! For the record, I have divorced couples (as an attorney) that have been married 2 yrs, 10 yrs, 24 yrs, 34 yrs, 37 yrs, 43 yrs, 51 yrs (and every other number of years married) and even after 53 yrs as husband and wife, I had a client that I divorced after that many years.

My record of least married that I divorced was two weeks, the most was the 53 years I stated above! So understanding each other (as husband and wife) it was nothing to do with the time you have been married! It is about tolerance, acceptance, communications and of course lots of laugh! :D

PS And I did not even mentioned good sex! jajajajaja

Because thats what makes like worth living. A man will always be a man and a woman will always be a woman, somethings between men and woman will never change no matter how much they try to feminize men in this day and age. Unfortunately some woman think that because they see stuff on televison or in the movies they assume men have changed, and thats far from the truth.

My record of least married that I divorced was two weeks, the most was the 53 years I stated above! So understanding each other (as husband and wife) it was nothing to do with the time you have been married! It is about tolerance, acceptance, communications and of course lots of laugh! :D

PS And I did not even mentioned good sex! jajajajaja

And not necessarily in that order!

Acceptance, acceptance, acceptance...of each other, as is. Numero Uno.

Umm, occasionally swapping status with good sex. ;)