Valentine's Day..

... Okay this is a bit cheesy .. but I need opinions.. and quick. LOL

Tomorrow, is Valentine's day. I asked my "man" a couple weeks ago how he felt about it, and he basically said it's a Hallmark Holiday for men to get in trouble. LOL So I said - alright I guess that means I can't get you anything? He's of the opinion that he doesn't like me spending money on him, and really doesn't want me to get him anything and said that he wants me to respect his wishes.

Here's my issue - I'd like to just get him a card and perhaps say email him today and invite him over for a glass of wine tomorrow evening. A)I'm not spending anything ('cept the card) and B)It's freaking Valentine's day! And I want to at least SEE the man I'm in love with - I'm not big into hallmark holidays either - but there's just something about Valentine's day......

Any thoughts? :o

Boy do I feel like I'm in high school all over again *grin*

Those sound good .. the only problem is that the whole "on hold" thing that you know of.. so.... I don't want to make him feel cornered.. argh! but I also don't want to spend my V-day alone! lol Know what I mean? I also don't want to do the whole card thing and then have him feel bad because he didn't get anything.. maybe I should forget the whole darn thing and buy my cat a valentine instead! LOL

he basically said it's a Hallmark Holiday for men to get in trouble. LOL

Play with it. Tell him:
"I'll take any excuse for us to get into trouble. Wanna give the Heather Holiday version a try?" :D

Allyheart - We've been doing well with the avoiding heavy talk.. we've actually been really good when we've been together mostly just enjoying one another's company and it's been "nice". :)


Faith... haha! I love it... "get dirty on Non-Valentine's Wednesday".. lol

I think the card and asking him to spend time with you with wine is a GREAT idea!

Have you thought about making him something. I know it sounds like a childish thing, but a couple years ago I made my boyfriend a romantic, free running slide show on power point of pictures and sayings and stuff. I didn't have to spend any money and he loved it.

My om made me a great card from construction paper a couple years ago and it made me feel so special. Just that he took the time to sit down and make something for me! It meant more then any flowers or chocolates I could ever get!

Its a great idea.

Buy the card & invite him over.

Life is short, enjoy it.

If he says no, send me the card & bottle of wine. I prefer a cabernet!

You know what, I have to say I'm inclined to agree with these men; I too find Valentine's day overwhelming commercial, and for me that takes the joy out of it completely. I have never celebrated Valentine's day! My former partner and I used to go to public lectures or other very non-valentinesish activities. The thought of going to a restaurant and being surround by a sea of other couples and with gently waving red-heart balloons is too surreal - in a ghastly way. If I could simply celebrate the love aspect without all the commercial gook I could probably go for it. But this isn't helping is it?:p

Its a great idea.

Buy the card & invite him over.

Life is short, enjoy it.

If he says no, send me the card & bottle of wine. I prefer a cabernet!


Alright - what's your address? *LOL*

Well.. I got my surprise last night actually...

He showed up with a card and a box of chocolate - and said "here - be quiet" LOL I started howling. I said why on earth did you get anything if you're so dead against it....???? The response was....with a huge smirk - (jokingly of course) "so I don't have to listen to you for the next year"... I said well now of course not... all you'd have to do is change your number, move, and find a new place to work and then I wouldn't be able to hunt you down... I told him that it was perfectly fine if he didn't want to get anything but was very thankful that he did and thought it was very sweet of him to do so.. he said yeah.. I know.. it's just a "little something" I said I didn't get him anything and he said "good - I am glad you listened" :P even though he's so.. "anti" valentine's day.. I think he proved that he's not "anti" Heather... on Feb the 13th..

So I sent him an email this morning thanking him for his acknowledgement ...

Congrats! Funny how cupid's arrow shoots in unexpected directions! ;) It shows he IS thinking about you, even he didn't want to compromise on his anti-hallmark principles.

I absolutely couldn't come home without getting him at least a card. So I stopped at the gift shop driving home from work - picked out a cute one and slipped it under his door to read when he gets home....

I hope all of you have nice evenings and do with it what you will.. Cupid nailed me back a few months ago when the OM and I met.. I guess I got my Valentine's day early though *grin*.. I"m such a closet romantic...

Well.. I got my surprise last night actually...

He showed up with a card and a box of chocolate - and said "here - be quiet" LOL I started howling. I said why on earth did you get anything if you're so dead against it....???? The response was....with a huge smirk - (jokingly of course) "so I don't have to listen to you for the next year"... I said well now of course not... all you'd have to do is change your number, move, and find a new place to work and then I wouldn't be able to hunt you down... I told him that it was perfectly fine if he didn't want to get anything but was very thankful that he did and thought it was very sweet of him to do so.. he said yeah.. I know.. it's just a "little something" I said I didn't get him anything and he said "good - I am glad you listened" :P even though he's so.. "anti" valentine's day.. I think he proved that he's not "anti" Heather... on Feb the 13th..

So I sent him an email this morning thanking him for his acknowledgement ...

I am so happy for you that you got your special Valentine's .

Something similar happened to me/us on this day. As I knew that both of us were broke, I kept telling him previously and on this particular day that we do celebrate "Valentine"'s every day thus it's not any special event, and he seemed to agree.

Well, of course I was not expecting him to 'back down' on his 'talk' until later that evening when he didn't want me to turn off my mobile and asked me to stay awake until about 11 pm, and we were not supposed to meet that evening.

So, a little bit later he called to tell me that he was 'stuck' in traffic and that he hoped to arrive earlier ( what . . ???), and went on to say that he got me that special flower bouquette and can't wait to give it to me.

Boy, was I in for a pleasant surprise. ( he looked so cute handing me those red roses and kissing me and wishing me a 'happy valentine' ). I was in heaven.

But of course I had to promise him and myself that for next time, I would also have to be ready to make him as happy. I bluntly said I 'owe you one' LOL

I'll keep that in mind for next year - 12 months to think about it *grin*

I am curious Heather. Did he come over on the 14th? Do you know where he was that evening?

For some reason, I don't trust your guy. Sorry.... :(

... I guess it's a good thing you aren't the one in the relationship with him then isn't it? :)

Might be a good idea to remember that we come to these boards for a variety of opinions. Non are meant to hurt, or make you prove something is different than the poster's possible opinion.

YR merely stated a possibility. She has seen other men do things like that and thought it beneficial to put that possibility out there. If it were me attempting to look at all angles for you and I got a reply like "then it is a good thing he isn't your man..." or something to that effect, I'd wonder why I put any effort into thinking about your situation.

I am sure you did not mean it to sound snippy, but bare in mind all opinions can be useful and only you get to chose which ones you think are the most likely. Continued good luck with your OM. And remember we are all on your side.

I don't think Heather was being snippy/snappy, I think she was simply pointing out that she trusts her man. What's the point in being in a relationship if you're going to mistrust him from the word go. I believe Heather's OM said he didn't like Valentine's day because he thought it was a commercial thing, why should Heather choose to think that he's lying? Seems plausible to me...

... First of all let me take the opportunity to thank Phoenix and Allyheart for backing up my response...and my character.

I understand that people are very much entitled to their opinions , all the same, - the rest of us are just as much entitled to our responses - and that people will attempt to be supportive on here, or put out "possibilities" - but without any background or explanation as to why someone would automatically not trust someone because they didn't show up ON "THEE" day as opposed to the day before - truly caught me offguard. My post was strictly with respect to how I should handle valentine's day. It was not a post whereby I was questioning my trust of my OM. If I wanted to have a discussion of trust I'd have a different thread somewhere. And since at this time I don't feel the need to discuss "trust", I'm not going to.

Yellowrose - I hope that you realize my response would have been said to ANYONE that would have said that to me, it was not a direct attack, but it was a response to a statement that, in all honesty is true. It IS a good thing you aren't in a relationship with him because if you were, you wouldn't trust him, and it wouldn't be much of a relationship without trust. Thankfully - I'm very content with my level of trust with him and have no complaints. I know nothing of your personal history of trust - but I do certainly know mine, and believe me, I know, in my heart of hearts that I trust this man. But thank you for your concern. If this trust becomes betrayed - I highly suspect this place with be my outlet - and I will probably need your support at that specific time.

Hopefully this puts this topic to rest - my response originally was not to ruffle feathers - but sometimes, as allyheart said, it does in fact feel like people take jibes, at you, especially when these age gap relationships are already challenging enough at times.

It certainly was not an attack... I have trusted before and have also been a fool for doing so.

Some people are trustworthy and some end up not being so trustworthy. My trust comes with time and my partner continuing to be trustworthy. It is not something that I give at the beginning of a relationship or at 5 months, nor is it something that continues, if red flags come up.

Your situation had what would have been a red flag to me, based on what you posted previously when you said so we're currently "on a time out" I don't trust any guy who isn't a 200% as excited about me as I am about him, or if he is, he brings up too many obstacles or asks for a "time out".

But you are the one that is in the relationship, and know more than I can gather from your posts. I only meant to caution you IF you did not know where he was on Valentines night.

I wish you well and will save my keystrokes in the future in your threads. :p