Whom do you trust?

I was wondering about trust. Seems there are alot of trust issues going on here on the boards, in people's families, in the country, etc. Whom do you trust? Is it alot of people, just a few? Are they family, friends, co-workers, ministers, counselors? Your SO if you have one? Why do you trust them? Are you pretty trustworthy yourself?

As for me, I have a few people I trust. I trust my friends more than my family, in general, although my mom is pretty trustworthy as is my one sister. I trust my co-workers and my manager, they've never let me down. I have a few close friends I trust, one of them is here a AL, two others are not.

For me trust is like the Marine Corps slogan, "Earned never given" that you see on the side of those 18 wheelers. If somebody lets me down on something serious, it's going to take awhile for me to trust them again. Maybe its because I'm a Scorpio, and we Scorps are like that.

What about you? Thoughts?

Hmmmm.......I usually try to look at people's positive side, but then again I don't trust many. Many wolves wear sheep's clothing.

I trust God and my dad. The rest have yet to be earned. lol.

I trust adam.

I am a very trusting soul. I trust everybody until they betray my trust.

I trust no one it's one of my biggest problems. I've be betrayed so many times I just keep my bussiness to myself. But the one and only person I do tell EVERYTHING to is my mom. Not many 19 year old girls can say that so I'm very proud of that.

I don't trust anybody anymore either, it's just easier that way.

Depends.

I trust many with the little things that don't have a heavy impact on me or those I love.

I trust very, very few with the stuff that matters most.

I trust my mom, dad, sister, and my husband. I trust my son ( for now until he starts lying to me LOL)

Depends.

I trust many with the little things that don't have a heavy impact on me or those I love.

I trust very, very few with the stuff that matters most.

Me too. I trust only my sister and a couple of close friends I've had for over 20 years.

Unfortunately I also trusted my ex-ym, who betrayed my trust and has made me a little gun shy in the trust department.:(

I trust God, my sister, Bob and my parents, and a couple close friends of mine, thats about it.

I trust one sister, and one friend that i've had since elementary school. That's probably it.

I trust my best friend.

I trust my dad.

I trust myself.

Celtish, I liked that, I trust myself. :)

With the big stuff...I trust my kids, I trust my Dad, I trust James, my brother, and I trust a couple online friends, who I won't mention by name since they are members here. They know who they are. Of everyone in my life, James is the closest to me, the person who I could trust with anything.

But as I have gotten older and wiser, I don't. I have been burned way too many times. By family, friends, ministers, church folk, you name it. I trust one person. My husband. Other than that I keep all important and personal information to myself. It's a sad way to have to be really. But a smart way to be...
I guess I have different levels of trust maybe. I trust by the importance of the information. But in general, I agree with the OP and the marines. Trust has to be earned.

I don't believe in that adage that "trust must be earned." I think that most people are intrinsically trustworthy with the small stuff. I think you have to be careful who you trust with the big stuff.

I've been burned, but that doesn't mean I have trouble trusting. I trust my daughter and granddaughter, my older brother and my coworkers and all of my close friends.

The one person in my life I would have liked to trust forever betrayed my trust and my friendship. My thoughts? "What a loser!" But that doesn't mean I won't trust again.

I'm so thankful Celtish wrote "I trust myself". Way to go.

Me too, I trust myself to be good to myself and to be true to my nature. I trust others to be true to their nature too. I try to surround myself with people who have a good nature.

Everyone will let you down eventually. But that's where forgiveness and unconditional love come into play. I'm not perfect either, I need forgiveness and unconditional love from time to time too. When trust is violated, from our point of view, its good to communicate and explain to each other what we were thinking when we did that thing that hurt or disappointed them. Violated trust is like a deep wound, its important to stop the bleeding quickly.

I don't expect my trusted loved ones to be perfect. That's unreasonable and impossible to live up to. I make allowance for everyone, even my most trusted loved ones, to err from time to time.

As a matter of fact, I have some very imperfect friends. All with a fair share of emotional baggage. But I love them and they love me, and when help is needed, we rush to each others side. It would be utterly foolish to expect I could trust any of them in every way or 100% of the time. However, when the really big ticket items come along, then is when I CAN trust them.

I've been married twice, trusted & loved both wives, and have had that trust & love betrayed twice. What I didn't realize at the time, both women were being true to their natures. It wouldn't be right for me to describe them in terms of how "BAD" they are. I wasn't their victim. I was a victim of my own bad choices, of not understanding what their nature was before I married them. So because I picked two women with baggage who betrayed my trust, does that mean all people are untrustworthy? No, it means I need to work on my ability to understand people's nature. Does two failed marriages mean the instituion of marriage is faulty? No, it means my "picker" is faulty.

George

I'm so thankful Celtish wrote "I trust myself". Way to go.

Me too, I trust myself to be good to myself and to be true to my nature. I trust others to be true to their nature too. I try to surround myself with people who have a good nature.

I've been married twice, trusted & loved both wives, and have had that trust & love betrayed twice. What I didn't realize at the time, both women were being true to their natures. It wouldn't be right for me to describe them in terms of how "BAD" they are. I wasn't their victim. I was a victim of my own bad choices, of not understanding what their nature was before I married them. So because I picked two women with baggage who betrayed my trust, does that mean all people are untrustworthy? No, it means I need to work on my ability to understand people's nature. Does two failed marriages mean the instituion of marriage is faulty? No, it means my "picker" is faulty.
George

So.... can you trust yourself if you have a faulty "picker"? (At least in this area of your discussion...)

I honestly don't think your "picker" is faulty (i love saying "picker" :giggle:)...I think poor communication skills and different goals and multiple miststeps along the path of a relationship (by both partners) lead to the betrayal of trust. Some people stray off the path faster than others - because of past experiences and such, but everyone has baggage. And hopefully even as we get older, we can find someone willing to walk down our path together, with open communication and the knowledge that the whole thing is a journey and the bumps along the way have to be dealt with together, or our turst - and theirs - can get broken.

I trust me and only me 100%. I'm the only person who's never let me down.

Everyone else is scaled down from that. My fiance would have about 90-95% of my trust. After that it drops way off.

And I believe trust is earned. I don't run out and tell people my deepest secrets. I drop little secrets on them and see if they can hold that. As the relationship develops I chose, based on that, to continue divulging or stopping. It's always earned.

But no one knows me 100%. That gives them way too much power over my heart. And no one's entitled to that. I've been told that it's a cold way to love, but it's one of those things I refuse to change based on my abusive background. Guess it's my survival mechanism.

I trust me and only me 100%. I'm the only person who's never let me down.

Everyone else is scaled down from that. My fiance would have about 90-95% of my trust. After that it drops way off.

And I believe trust is earned. I don't run out and tell people my deepest secrets. I drop little secrets on them and see if they can hold that. As the relationship develops I chose, based on that, to continue divulging or stopping. It's always earned.

But no one knows me 100%. That gives them way too much power over my heart. And no one's entitled to that. I've been told that it's a cold way to love, but it's one of those things I refuse to change based on my abusive background. Guess it's my survival mechanism.

Exactly! It's a survival mechanism. I understand completely where you are coming from.

My first impulse was to say "I don't trust anyone (but myself)". Basically, I was brought up that way and this message has been totally ingrained into me, I think. Both my parents - each in their own way - reinforced this message.

Having said that, when reading the posts here, I feel I have to agree with Mrs. HH.
Depends.

I trust many with the little things that don't have a heavy impact on me or those I love.

I have been told by people that I am too naive at times and trust people to much (at work for instance), but the truth of the matter is, it's only on stuff that really doesn't make much of a difference to me.

So maybe, it's more correct to say, I trust people discriminately, but I only rely on myself for important stuff ;) That also means I don't "expect" anyone to be trusted but I am always pleasantly surprised and appreciative if they turn out to be reliable in that sense ;)

I don't trust anybody anymore either, it's just easier that way.

DO you feel that way because you've become cynical or been hurt too many times?

Depends.

I trust many with the little things that don't have a heavy impact on me or those I love.

I trust very, very few with the stuff that matters most.

Kelley, I understand this point of view completely. Life is quite the teacher...

I don't believe in that adage that "trust must be earned." I think that most people are intrinsically trustworthy with the small stuff. I think you have to be careful who you trust with the big stuff.

I've been burned, but that doesn't mean I have trouble trusting. I trust my daughter and granddaughter, my older brother and my coworkers and all of my close friends.

The one person in my life I would have liked to trust forever betrayed my trust and my friendship. My thoughts? "What a loser!" But that doesn't mean I won't trust again.


What about those that you can trust 90-95% of the time, but have made mistakes along the way?? My daughters fall into this category. My trust in them doesn't seem particularly important to them, in all honesty. What I mean is that if they have broken my trust they are kind of sorry but oh well...

How do you feel that impacts your relationship as the parent of grown children? What if they can trust you but you really can't trust them?