He's Scared Of Marriage

HI EVERYONE I'M NEW TO THE SITE. I'M VERY HAPPY TO SEE OTHERS GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING. AGE DISPARATE RELATIOSHIPS. I'M 33 AND HE IS 53 WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER 16MTHS . WE HAVE A HOME TOGETHER SINCE SEPT AND HE IS HELPING ME RAISE MY 11 YR OLD SON FROM A PREVIOUS MARRIAGE OF 12YRS.(YES I WAS A BABY WHEN I GOT MARRIED AT THE RIPE OLD AGE OF 19 AND A SOPHMORE IN COLLEGE).ANYWAY HE HAS NEVER BEEN MARRIED OR HAD ANY CHILDREN, HE HAS APPARENTLY RAN FROM COMMITMENT ALL HIS LIFE. HE SAYS HE WANTS TO MARRY ME BUT ONLY AFTER COUNSELING WHICH I AGRRE WITH. IT'S JUST THAT HE GETS SO SCARED ALL THE TIME. HE IS VERY FINACIALLY STABLE AND QUITE HANDSOME,ARTICULATE AND VERY INTELLIGENT. HE COULD BE MARRIED TO ANY WOMAN HE WANTS, BUT I'M THE ONE HE HAS BEEN VERY GENEROUS TOO. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE HIM HE'S EVERRYTHING I'VE EVER DREAMED OF I A MAN. I TBELIEVE HE'S SCARED TO HAVE CHILDREN B/C HE SYS HE'S GETTING OLD BUT AT HTE SAME TIME HE SAYS HE WANT US TO HAVE A FAMILY TOGETHER WHY IS HE SO CONFUSED ALL THE TIME I'VE TRIED TO REASSURE HIM 'M IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL THIS IS NOT A FLY BY NIGHT RELATIONSHIP. IS THIS SOMETHING OLDER MEN GO THROUGH OR WHAT ?

I think people in general go through stages where they are afraid of things, especially things they have never experienced. There are excuses for everything. I'm sure that with the other women he couldn't commit to he had other reasons for not wanting to commit. I doubt it was the age difference or his age specifically that was the issue everytime. Whatever his fears are, until he gets past them he will never be able to commit to you and you can't make him commit to you. He needs to make a commitment to you because he wants to not because he feels pressured to do so. If he does and he's not ready he'll never be truly happy and if you love him I'd think his happiness is what you'd want.

Playing devil's advocate here, but is it really a big deal to get married? You already have a life with him, will a peice of paper (marriage certificate) really make a difference in your happiness? As long as you are both happy what does it matter if you get married?

Good luck.

THANK YOU SEXYBODY GIRL FOR YOUR REPLY. YES YOU ARE RIGHT AND MAKE GOOD POINTS, THANK YOU FOR YOUR ADVICE I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED

Who brought the subject of marriage up first, you or him? If he brought it up and is willing and wants to do counseling, it sounds like to me that he is wanting to be convinced! Do the counseling. Good luck.