I am a 21 year old guy who isn't exactly in "love" yet, but close to pretty much falling in love with a much older woman than me. She's 26 years older than I am to be exact. I first saw her at the gym three years ago and was attracted right from the very start. Although, I thought she was way younger, around 28 before, but I didn't really care about her age. There was something special about her that attracted me and that was what mattered. I spent a year never talking to her, because I was nervous and still shy quite a bit at the time, but hoping she'd say something to me. One day I was leaving the gym and she finally smiled at me, waved and said hi to me and that we always see each other at the gym but never say hi or anything. I was trying hard to remain calm and just play it cool, and from then on, we built up a good friendship.
I found out over time she was married, two kids, but unhappy and wanting to get divorced, which she finally started to do later that year. A little bit before that happened, I had broken down and told her how I felt about her. She was surprised but said we should keep it at a friendship right now. I found out after a while there was someone else she was interested in, but that was a difficult relationship for her because of his working. She's kinda breaking away from him though, but still kinda going out with other guys, which makes me feel hurt and even jealous inside. But anyways... her biggest deal with me was our age gap at first. I think I got her to understand, especially recently that it's not as much of a problem as she thought it was. We were on the phone talking last night and I was looking up articles about age gaps, and we both came to the conclusion after I read them, it's not the number but the person you fall in love with.
I think right now, with her divorce still not completely done with, she's confused. I feel she likes me more than just a friend deep down inside, but is held back because of different things. Probably some of the things being the fact I'm still living at home since I'm in college, not having a car etc. Other things being because she's going through some of her own problems still. I'm afraid though, if and when these things get past, nothing will change. :(
She was saying last night wouldn't it be funny, if in five years we ended up together and I tell her, "I told ya so, you wasted all this time that we could've been together. :P" It was funny to hear her say that because I've thought the same thing for a while.
She's told me if someone else comes along, to not hold back because of her. But the fact of the matter is, I don't want anybody else. I've stayed constantly attracted to her for three years and it's only gotten stronger over time. No one else has been able to break my attention away from her and no one else has ever made me feel what I feel for her. Before I met her, I was fine just being single and by myself. I would wait forever for her but she doesn't seem to believe me.
Well, this great wall of text comes to an end. I don't know what all my point was posting here. I guess I'm looking for answers that probably can't be answered right now. So I guess in the least, advice, support, help. Thanks for reading.
sheila4pd 03-17-2007, 07:39 PM What a beautiful post. If I were you, I would wait until her divorce is final, and she has some time to think about her life, and her future. Keep being friends and, seriously, your patience will be rewarded, one way or another.
sylverspice 03-17-2007, 08:44 PM I am a 21 year old guy who isn't exactly in "love" yet, but close to pretty much falling in love with a much older woman than me. She's 26 years older than I am to be exact. I first saw her at the gym three years ago and was attracted right from the very start. Although, I thought she was way younger, around 28 before, but I didn't really care about her age. There was something special about her that attracted me and that was what mattered. I spent a year never talking to her, because I was nervous and still shy quite a bit at the time, but hoping she'd say something to me. One day I was leaving the gym and she finally smiled at me, waved and said hi to me and that we always see each other at the gym but never say hi or anything. I was trying hard to remain calm and just play it cool, and from then on, we built up a good friendship.
I found out over time she was married, two kids, but unhappy and wanting to get divorced, which she finally started to do later that year. A little bit before that happened, I had broken down and told her how I felt about her. She was surprised but said we should keep it at a friendship right now. I found out after a while there was someone else she was interested in, but that was a difficult relationship for her because of his working. She's kinda breaking away from him though, but still kinda going out with other guys, which makes me feel hurt and even jealous inside. But anyways... her biggest deal with me was our age gap at first. I think I got her to understand, especially recently that it's not as much of a problem as she thought it was. We were on the phone talking last night and I was looking up articles about age gaps, and we both came to the conclusion after I read them, it's not the number but the person you fall in love with.
I think right now, with her divorce still not completely done with, she's confused. I feel she likes me more than just a friend deep down inside, but is held back because of different things. Probably some of the things being the fact I'm still living at home since I'm in college, not having a car etc. Other things being because she's going through some of her own problems still. I'm afraid though, if and when these things get past, nothing will change. :(
She was saying last night wouldn't it be funny, if in five years we ended up together and I tell her, "I told ya so, you wasted all this time that we could've been together. :P" It was funny to hear her say that because I've thought the same thing for a while.
She's told me if someone else comes along, to not hold back because of her. But the fact of the matter is, I don't want anybody else. I've stayed constantly attracted to her for three years and it's only gotten stronger over time. No one else has been able to break my attention away from her and no one else has ever made me feel what I feel for her. Before I met her, I was fine just being single and by myself. I would wait forever for her but she doesn't seem to believe me.
Well, this great wall of text comes to an end. I don't know what all my point was posting here. I guess I'm looking for answers that probably can't be answered right now. So I guess in the least, advice, support, help. Thanks for reading.
I'm kinda in the same boat...
The woman that I love is 73, I am 37!!!!!!!
I agree that when you fall in love with someone, you don't look at the age. Age is nothing but a number. I mean sure, the age difference is there and it can't be denied, but isn't love supposed to be about how you feel about someone?
I know I deeply, sincerly love this woman and I would love to be with her right now, to hold her in my arms and everything but sometimes life isn't fair.
But I truly hope this will work for the both of you, as love is supposed to be about 2 people deeply caring for each other and being thankful of being together.
Best of luck to you!
What a beautiful post. If I were you, I would wait until her divorce is final, and she has some time to think about her life, and her future. Keep being friends and, seriously, your patience will be rewarded, one way or another.
Oh sorry, I wasn't exactly clear on that part. She is actually officially divorced, but there's still some problems she's having with her ex on selling their house and splitting the money. Different stuff like that. I'm trying, it's hard though... I feel like time is just going and going. ;(
WARNING: Wall of text warning + dramafest
I'm also having another problem that I was trying to avoid, but it seems clear to me after tonight it's not avoidable. I have a friend from the gym who started hanging around us since we're normally there late at night, and I knew it was BAD news from the beginning. Around the time he started hanging around us, I heard he was stalking and approaching some of the group fitness class instructors and scaring them. I didn't wanna believe it so I let it go. Well, I didn't want this guy around me and my lady friend because I had a bad feeling. Last week, I saw them driving by and they were going for a walk in the park. It upset me and I told her, and she said it wasn't like a "date" thing. For her, I know she was being honest, but he thought otherwise.
Well, after she saw how it affected me, she told him they're just friends and she's not interested in him, and ever since then, he's been acting weird. Tonight, as usual, I was standing talking to my lady while she was on the treadmill, and of course he's just standing there doing nothing but annoying me by being there. I was teasing my lady friend a little and she kinda got mad at me and so I was stopping, but he yells out at me "STOP, CALM DOWN!!! HEY STOP" which honestly, pissed me off. He caused a lot of attention our way by doing that, and when I spoke about it with my friend in private, even she was a little concerned.
So now I have this psycho guy who I don't even really consider a friend, being overprotective of her and obsessive. I knew it was going to happen and I couldn't do anything about it. I kept trying to tell her to watch out, but as much as I love her, she's kinda dense when it comes to guys coming on to her. Even an older friend of mine was saying tonight it annoys him too. When he's trying to talk to my friend in private about some matters or giving her advice, I go away but this guy just sits there non-stop. He didn't even do anything the whole hour and 40 minutes he was at the gym, except try and get me to leave because he knew she was there.
So, now I have more problems adding to my one. I don't even want the guy around us anymore, nor did I ever to begin with. I liked being able to talk privately with her, instead of having a "listening device"(as my other friend called him tonight) around all the time. -_-
LADave 03-18-2007, 10:38 AM Do you have your lady friend's contact info, and does she have yours? I think it's time to get that gym out of the picture.
I know trying to end a gym membership is next to impossible, but I think both of you need to find other places to exercise and spend time together. Both of you should see if you can exit your memberships. If you're really stuck, join another gym and call the price of carrying two memberships the premium on your peace of mind insurance policy. If money's an issue, spend the time until your memberships at the old gym run out doing things like calisthenics and walking.
This other guy is just total bad news. He's acting toward you and your lady friend like an aggressive dog guarding his "turf."
If money's an issue, spend the time until your memberships at the old gym run out doing things like calisthenics and walking.
This other guy is just total bad news. He's acting toward you and your lady friend like an aggressive dog guarding his "turf."
I'm with Dave. Give her an invitation to do an activity away from that gym. You sound very eager (I'm not criticizing, I know the feeling! :D ). So suggest something casual and relaxed. How about walking around your local mall, and stopping for an Orange Julius afterwards?
Do you have your lady friend's contact info, and does she have yours? I think it's time to get that gym out of the picture.
I know trying to end a gym membership is next to impossible, but I think both of you need to find other places to exercise and spend time together. Both of you should see if you can exit your memberships. If you're really stuck, join another gym and call the price of carrying two memberships the premium on your peace of mind insurance policy. If money's an issue, spend the time until your memberships at the old gym run out doing things like calisthenics and walking.
This other guy is just total bad news. He's acting toward you and your lady friend like an aggressive dog guarding his "turf."
That can work but can't at the same time. ;_;
She actually has a membership at another gym by us too, because she was able to get it cheap. She got it a long time ago in case she had to leave our current gym because her ex husband would embarrass her sometimes there. Problem is, if she leaves our gym, I won't wanna go to the other one. I just started working at the gym and get a free membership now.
Although I have been trying to get her to go different places, mainly just so we could talk more 1 on 1 without having any busybodies at the gym going by. She used to always complain about me not having a car and she won't pick me up because she doesn't want to make me think she's interested in me right now. The big problem has been my not having a car, second being she still hasn't gotten over whoever this guy is she likes. :( I did convince her that we should go to this Chinese restaurant that we can both access, or even a movie sometime.
My main concern is stalker freak. He was already weird to begin with and now he's even worse. I really don't want him around me or her anymore. >_<
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