Please Help!

I'm new on this forum and I'm not too sure how it works, but here goes. I've been dating a very beautiful woman, she just turned 34 and I just turned 23. I am absolutely in love with her and she knows it. She is everything I have ever wanted in a woman and more. I have the best time I've ever had just being with her. Although she tells me that she loves me too and that she wants to be with me, I still feel very insecure about our relationship. Is this normal???? We work together and that's how we met and the worst part is that she was dating one of my neighbors that live down the street from me. Now he knows that we're seeing each other (by the way we've been together for about 2 months) all he does is call her and text message her, but he's married with two kids and he keeps telling her that he's going to leave his wife to be with her! She has wasted 2 1/2 years of her life waiting for him and he keeps going back to his wife. Should I be worried???? She tells me that she's ready to move on and that she's very happy where she is and also tells me that she loves me very much. Once in a while she'll have a bad day and tell me that she's confused and isn't sure what to do. Then she'll tell me that she's not going anywhere becuase she knows that this is where she should be and that she really is happy with me. But I still feel insecure with our relationship. Is this normal or am I over reacting???? Please, anyone out there with some advice or maybe a similar past experience with some pointers for me. I would greatly appreciate it, Thanks.

Dan :confused:

I think that it is normal for her to be confused after ending a 2 year relationship, and with the guy still going after her. She probably loves you but she is going through a transition period. That is why any relationship that is too close to a break-up is not all smooth.

You are both young and once some time has passed you will feel more secure in your relationship.

I am absolutely in love with her If it were me, I would guard my emotions until more time has passed. It has only been 2 months. Having an affair with a married man with 2 children doesn't speak well of her self esteem or ethics.

Two years with someone who is trying to get her back is making for an unstable relationship with you. Like I said, keep those emotions and EXPECTATIONS in check. I wish you the best though... :)

I agree 100% with Barb and Sheila..

And heck, no it's not abnormal for you to feel insecure! If I was in your shoes, I would feel downright worried. 85% of rebound relationships don't last (rebound= within less than 6 months-year after a CLEAN breakup); couple that with one partner having a recent past with a married man, and that percentage goes up, I'm sure.

I just want to suggest that you back up a bit. Give her time and space to discover who SHE is without a man so that she has her WHOLE SELF to bring to a relationship with you. I don't mean no contact, but perhaps light dating or keeping it at the friend level for a while. If she keeps going back to this other guy during your "relationship-light" phase, it will be obvious that you were just a replacement for him when things became obvious he wouldn't divorce to be with her. Why would you want to be in that position? You are SOOOO much more worth it than that....

"I love you" is just a phrase often spoken freely during the infatuation phase of a relationship (first 6 months)...it garners weight only after a year or more together of consistent loving behavior. Your gf needs time alone to know what she really wants before she drags you into drama. It's not fair to you to have to feel insecure...that's not love.

I wish you the best and think that stepping back and away would be a good call. If it's "true" and "meant to be", it will still be there in 6 months to a year AFTER she is truly free emotionally to be with you 100%.

She has wasted 2 1/2 years of her life waiting for him and he keeps going back to his wife. Should I be worried????

Yes.

Unless there is no contact and she has resolved the relationship you risk her running back to him the minute he makes her another false promise.

Just hold your heart back and make sure you don't let her use you as the 'hot young stud' to make the other guy jealous.

Tread carefully. This relationship is definitely built on shaky grounds.