Un-freaking-believable! (LONG)

OK, here's the milder part - keep reading - it gets worse!!

For most of the school year, my elder son has been having problems with a particular group at school. Now, he's always pretty much been a gamer geek and kept to himself, but managed to have one or two good friends. But these kids seemed to go out of their way to taunt and insult him. One girl in particular had it in for him bad. She was dating one of his friends and everyone hates her. Corey was the only one who took the guy aside and asked what the hell the kid was doing with her.

Big mistake. She's been on him like flies on crap. She sent a senior boy to intimidate him. The boy rammed him in the side and pushed him - hard enough to hurt. He then threatened to come back and beat Corey up.

I, of course, called the school and informed them what happened. The vice principal said they'd watch the situation and take action if Corey felt further threatened.

In the middle of all of this, he actually managed to get a girlfriend. She came by our house. Seemed really sweet. My younger son overheard her on the phone tell Corey she loved him. That made a lot bearable for Corey.

Well, that lasted all of a week. Suddenly, this girl's old bf came up to Corey and told him to back off or he'd kick his ***. That was her way of breaking up with him. Suddenly rumors were flying - Corey was talking ****, they had sex, they didn't have sex. Corey wanted nothing to do with any of the drama and tried to ignore it.

Finally, last week he was threatened by his friend's girlfriend AND his (now former) friend that he was going to be beat up. So he went to the VP on Monday and filled out a "cease and desist" order on her.

Yesterday, I get a phone call from the VP & the school psychologist. Coery had been arrested for sexual assult!!:eek:

He was accused by two girls of grabbing their breasts, slapping their butts and sending them sexual text messages.

Now, mind you, this sound not at all like my son, but he has been wound up tighter than a drum since his dad died and I couldn't write anything off as a possibility.

So, I go to the police station and they won't let me in to see him. Finally, the arresting officer comes out and tells me the charges again & that he's talking to Corey. I'm not let in to see him. He says Corey's been read his rights and that's all they are require to do. He leaves. I call my estate attorney and ask for the name of a good criminal defense lawyer. I call that lawyer and he agrees that the cops don't have to let me in the room - just notify me that he's been taken into custody.

So, then he comes out and says Corey confess to everything and they're charging him with 4th degree sexual assult and referring the case to Juvenile Court. They take his finger prints and book him.

The very first thing out of Corey's mouth to me is, "He made me say I did it but I really didn't! He kept telling me that he knew I was lying and he has been a cop for 10 years and knows when someone is lying. I cried like 3 times and I finally just said I did what he said." His face was all red from tears and he started crying again.

Finally, the story comes out. The "groping" was an incedent 2 months earlier with his THEN GIRLFRIEND. He had tossed some pennies down her shirt and reached in to grab them. He said he did not try to grab her breast and if he touched her breast it was purely accidental. (He'd already touched them when they made out anyhow.) She made no complaints at that time about the coin thing - just laughed and punched him in the arm. She was his girlfriend after all - but she didn't tell the VP that when giving her statement!!

As for the butt slapping and touching ANY other girl - especially the other accuser, someone he considered a friend and wasn't REMOTELY attracted to - ABSOLUTELY NOT - NEVER. He swears it.

He did send the former girlfriend a text message that was sexual in nature, but she had been talking to him about getting back together again. He had mentioned friends with benefits and she said sure. So he made an offer to give her oral sex. Again - thinking that they had an understanding, not just out of the blue for no reason! He never sent texts to anyone else as accused.

Here's the kicker - these to accusers are friends of the girl who Corey wrote the "cease and desist" against!!! Funny how these charges get filed the day after she gets the order, huh??

So, now I have retained a lawyer at the tune of $2,500. We have to go to court because of these vindictive little sleezeballs!

And the girl denied doing any tormenting of Corey - making it look like Coren was crazy for the cease-and-desist. Well, she doesn't know that there is a thread on MySpace where she is a complete ***** to Coren and says REALLY mean things - like he should just kill himself, he was always going to be a loser virgin and a girl would only go out with him out of pity, etc. So much for her "innocence". I did a "Print Screen" on the whole thread - dates and everything - and saved it as a JPG. Once I told the VP of my findings he was like, "Oh, really????"

What really chaps my hide is that no one called the police when my son was physically hit and threatened yet they called the police on him without even investigating further!

So now we have to find a different school to send my son to. And I may sue the school and the girl's families to pay for it!! He absolutely CANNOT go back into that hostile environment. It was bad before,but imagine after being arrested for sexual assult (minor as the charges are)??? They'll be calling him a perv, etc. I mean, these are kids who teased them because their dad was in a wheelchair and ridiculed him when his dad died. The depth of their cruelty is mind-boggling.

I feel so bad - I wish I would have taken him out sooner - but who would have thought that they would drop this low?? :mad:

Oh my God, what a bloody nightmare. I have nothing helpful to say because you have done all the right things, but as the mother of a socially clueless 13 year old boy, I shivered and raged while reading your post. I am so so sorry this happening to Corey - and to you.

I assume you told the lawyer immediately that Corey repudiates the so called confession? And I assume you are racking your brains for possible witnesses.

This is so awful. Hang in there - Corey needs you to be strong and to believe in him and I'm sure you're well able to do both. What a terrible lesson for him about fairness, or lack of it.

Keep us posted.

O M G...Kristin!!! Im so sorry. ((hugs)) Your poor son, how upset he must be! I don't even know what to say.

I wish I did know what to say. I have had similar situations with the "group" at school picking on one of my kids (my daughter). I even had some high school girl show up at my house intoxicated in the middle of the night and threaten to beat me up (in less nice words), so I know the type you are dealing with.

I know we have some good attorney's on the site who will have more to offer, but a couple things...first off, won't there be some sort of question as to the validity of the complaint since it was not filed at the time the incident supposedly occurred, and instead several months later? And also the fact that he had filed the restraining order type complaint before this accusation was made? Or will none of this even come into play since he confessed?

Considering your son had never been a problem in school before, did it seem the VP understood what was really going on with this whole situation?

I'm just so sorry..what a horrible situation, and what a shock for your son and you to have that come up out of the blue.

I've sent the lawyer the JPG of the MySpace thread, a written statement that Corey and I did - refuting the accusations and filling in details like the fact that she was his GIRLFRIEND when this happened.

Unfortunately, no witnesses to the assult on Corey. I'm having him think of who heard the other kids make threats. I'd be a witness that the one accuser was at our house to meet me. And my younger son overheard the phone conversation where she said "I love you" to Corey.

The only people who saw the coin incedent are the girl and her friends - including the other accuser.

The attorney, Jody, didn't seem concerned about the confession. He says Corey's age can explian that. The VP seemed to not really make the connection until we informed him that she had been Corey's gf when it happened at that she is also a friend of the cease & desust girl.

He also recalled that I had mentioned (when I called about the assult & threats) that I thought Corey was emotionally fragile and pent up feelings could blow. He seemed to take that as a reason why Corey acted this way - it validated it for him. (I had been trying to get help from the school system because we don't have insurance yet.) But, until I heard the whole story, I felt that this was him blowing up, too.

But the vp & arresting officer both told me Corey CONFESSED so what else could I think? I thought my sweet boy had finally snapped- otherwise would never have behaved that way.

But it seems that the vp jumped the gun and the arresting officer badgered a scared 16 year old boy to confess.

(((hugs))) I'm so sorry to hear this is happening to you.

I am not in the least bit surprised though.

Just recently a bully on our bus harassed kids for the last time. A kid got beat up on the bus and brought a knife to school because he was scared for his life. I know the kid that brought the knife and that was so unlike him. He's a very small kid and I truly believe he was scared and didn't use his brain. Unfortunately he got expelled while the kid who beat him up got a 3 day suspension. (I feel they both should have been expelled).

The sad thing was this kid got picked on and beat up all year long and just wanted it to quit. No one would listen to him or his parents. But the day he brought a knife everyone was suddenly interested. Too little too late.

They poo-poo away too much in school and write it off to 'kids just being kids'.

Hopefully everything will work out but I don't put much faith in our justice system anymore either.

Poor kid. He didn't deserve that. My only relief is that he has a good family and I know because of that he'll get through this without any long term emotional damage.

I think the fact you got a cease and desist against her PRIOR (make sure you keep pointing that out) to her accusations says a lot. At least it does to me. Why get an order like that if he's the one doing the harassing? Also. Did she file for one? If not, why? Point that out too. You don't need a witness to what happened. What you need to do is poke holes in her story. They'll try to plea it away. Don't take any plea. It's always an admission for guilt...no matter what they tell you. And it will be held against him later.

Continue to poke holes in the case to the point that it won't be worth them trying to take it to juvie court.

Keep strong! (And give that B**** a good ole' fashioned beat down in the court room. Chicks like this give the honest girls a bad name.)

And tell your son there ain't nothing wrong with a backwards gaming kinda guy. A bunch of us snatched up one of our very own...with no complaints about their prowess. ;)

Kristen, I am so VERY SORRY that you and your son are going through this horrible time.

You said he confessed under duress. Did they tape the entire interview? Maybe it can all be thrown out because of that.

I understand about bullies. My grandson went through a lot too. Kids cruelty has no limits it seems. :mad:

Kristin, what a mess. I'm really sorry that you all have to deal with this. I'm sure a good lawyer will be able to get this straightened out. So many kids these days are just ruthless. What a shame. :( Myspace actually comes in handy occasionally because little *****es like that end up hanging themselves. :rolleyes:

I hope your son has some text messages in his phone from the girl. That should help, huh?

And as for school, you could consider home schooling. I know two kids who are in the 11th grade who are home schooling via the computer. They are going to graduate early. Their parents simply remind them to get the work done, but they don't have to do much themselves. It's an idea, if getting him out of that school is a must.

Good luck. :)

Well, if the attorney did not seem concerned about the confession thats a good thing. I was really concerned about that, thinking they might just view it as an open and shut case with the confession.

I know how frustrating it is to try to get help from the school. One of my daughters was being harrassed by another girl at school and her older sister. This girl would show up at my daughter's boyfriend's house, supposedly to beat her up, show up at parties or functions she attended, and almost ran ME off the road in the car thinking I was my daughter. I tried to take the situation to the school so at least nothing would happen AT the school (I know my kids really well and was expecting something to happen), but they acted like there really wasn't much they could do. Long story short, daughter snapped at school during lunch and punched the girl in the face. I told the principal I knew this was coming because they were just pushing her and pushing her, but I was hoping they wouldn't antagonize her at school where she would blow. Either way, my daughter was suspended last week for the incident. She deserved it, you can't just go around punching people in the face but still!

All I can think is just gather all the paper documentation you can find. Copies of the order you filed, copies of any text messages your son and his former g/f might have exchanged, emails...any notes she might have written him at school...

Im just so sorry you all have to go through this... :(

(((hugs)))
I think the fact you got a cease and desist against her PRIOR (make sure you keep pointing that out) to her accusations says a lot. At least it does to me. Why get an order like that if he's the one doing the harassing? Also. Did she file for one? If not, why? Point that out too. You don't need a witness to what happened. What you need to do is poke holes in her story. They'll try to plea it away. Don't take any plea. It's always an admission for guilt...no matter what they tell you. And it will be held against him later.

Continue to poke holes in the case to the point that it won't be worth them
trying to take it to juvie court.

Keep strong! (And give that B**** a good ole' fashioned beat down in the court room. Chicks like this give the honest girls a bad name.)

And tell your son there ain't nothing wrong with a backwards gaming kinda guy. A bunch of us snatched up one of our very own...with no complaints about their prowess. ;)

TRUE TRUE TRUE.....

All I can do is offer moral support. I hope this passes soon.

The only problem with the cease and desist order is that was against the girl harrassing him.

A different girl made the sexual assult claim.

Point is, the two are friends.

They did video tape the "confession" so we'll be able to see what happened.

The thing is, Corey is just one of those types to just kinda shut down and withdraw. He'll just give up if things get too stressful. What looks mild on tape could feel a whole lot more stressful inisde Corey's head, you know?

Unfortunately, Corey didn't still have the text messages on his phone. But the vice principal said he didn't actually SEE any text messages from the girls, either.

Jody, actually he wasn't concerned about him making a statement to the police. I told him about the confession when I emailed him the documents today. He hasn't gotten back to me yet.

Corey and I were supposed to meet with the VP for his "on-going investigation" today. He was supposed to call me when he got back in his office around 1:30- 2 o'clock, but I haven't heard from him.

I HAD sent him an email stating that I did not feel Corey was guilty and that these were overblown and or completely fabricated in retribution for the cease and desist. I also said I was talking to my attorney about the fact that the one kid accosted Corey in the hallway. And that I was removing Corey from the school. regardless of their decision to suspend him or expel him or whatnot.

Maybe that made him not want to communicate anymore.

Yes, we are considering homeschool by computer. That may be our only option this late in the school year. It's too late to get him enrolled in a comparable school in a nearby burb, too. Open enrollment has already ended. But I aslo told the VP that expected them to assist us in placing him elsewhere!!

Kristin,

I just want to add my support. This situation sounds terrible, and especially after all you and your family have been through.

I know first hand about the school system's ineffectiveness in dealing with bullies...until it's too late and then the one that gets punished is the victim who finally lashes out. It really is inexcusable. Make sure you hold them accountable for what they DIDN'T do to protect your son when that was what was needed.

Hang in there. It looks like you've got lots of support here.

Oh man. That's horrible Kristin. I am so sorry.:(

Here is a sad fact of human nature that I HATE:

Like lapafrax's thread, there are people out there that believe that if someone is being bullied, they deserve it somehow. And my experience, from when I was a kid, tells me that most teachers don't like rocking the boat and in general like going along with the whole "majority rules" thing... meaning, if there is one kid who keeps getting picked on, most teachers much prefer to turn a blind eye to it.

Kristin, I'm so sorry for what your son and your family are going through.

i am so sorry to hear about this kristin. corey is lucky to have you for his mom...both of you stay strong and fight it.

Kristin, this is terrible!!! makes me nervous as my daughter approaches the junior high school age.....gulp....

just get all the documentation you can, like you're doing. Homeschooling might turn out to be a really good option for Corey, he may end up graduating like that! He might just be better off overall.

((Kristen))

I don't like the way the police handled this thing at all....I don't believe they can interview a juvenile with out a parent or attorney present...check out your state laws online ... they may have violated his rights and the "confession" can be thrown out....

Kids are so nasty anymore, esp girls....I wish I could do something to help...

Honey, I know this might sound a little "out there," but have you considered homeschooling him? It's not as difficult as one might think and, with you for his mom, I'm sure his academics wouldn't suffer. Wisconsin's homeschooling laws aren't too bad and your son sounds like a good guy who might actually do what needs to be done in order to graduate. He could also take a couple of university classes online. I homeschooled my kids for 3.5 years and don't regret it for one minute. They went back to public school while I was going through my divorce but they know that if and when they're ready to come home to school again, it's there for them.

He's got enough on his plate with his dad having just passed away recently to have to deal with trash like that.

I know they seem minor but my boyfriend has suffered form being charged when he was young. You are lucky your son is as young as he is. It should help. My Dan was 19 so it has affected his being able to get some jobs.

Fight them tooth and nail. Polygraph the creeps if you can. Hang in there sweetie.:grouphug:

kristin darlin, i relate to corey. when i was 17 my name was similiar to a girl who admitted to satanic worship and drug abuse and she was reported to the principal of my catholic school. the school called my parents before confronting me and although not right, i had the crap kicked out of me by my parents. in the end. i began to believe i had possibly forgotten or was crazy and i remember distinctly.... wanting to jump off the roof of my high school. God intervened so to speak.... as i sat staring at the bottom of my school, my religion teacher asked me what was wrong. I told her of my accusations and she told me that they had mixed up the students and took me by the arm and dragged me into the principals office.

My teacher was shaken and demanded an apology from the principal, it never happened. But I love her to this day for standing up for me.

Until then I had never even tried pot, I did after that incident in retaliation in front of the lawn of that school.

My daughter taught me the next lesson.

This was in the time that the GANGS were beginning to gain strength. Her grammer school friends who had been with her in kindergarden went the route of gang membership.

At sixth grade from fear for her life she told me she was quitting school.

Until I understood the peer pressure she was under, I was against her action, she was terrorized from her peers.

She had two options, either be gang raped from her guy friends or be gang beaten by the girls. She choose to quit school.

I was utterly beside myself.

I had absolutely no disposable income. BUT GOD PROVIDES. I went to private schools and all shut the door on me, until ONE.

I told them that I was a catholic and did not want my child indoctrinated into their religion, they said "ok". I also told them that I had absolutely no money and they made a payment plan.

long story short.

My kid went on to be the home coming queen for that little Christian high school.

Her best friends, were not angels but they are my other daughters. I have fallen in love with the friends she had had for nearly 15 years now.

They call me Mom.

Sometimes....IT IS BEST TO STICK BY OUR KIDS. It may not be easy in the get go, the the pay off is magnificent.

Kristen I'm so sorry... I can't even imagine how your feeling right now......

I mean isn't he a minor? So why weren't you allowed to sit in with him as his guardian???? Or talk to him first before they question him? I would ask if the confession could be thrown out because of that. I don't know but I think as a minor they should be allowed an adult guardian first!!!

Be strong Kristen.... because the truth will come out and I'm Hopeful that this will all be reversed. Maybe a countersue for damages and lawyers fees against them as well...

Good Luck Kristen

Sheesh Kristin! My heart goes out to you and your son. What a horrible ordeal!

I don't know what to say. :(

Clear his name and then make sure they get what they deserve afterwards. No way should they come out of this okay. That includes the police and the school.

I dont know what to say either Kristin. So I am offering moral support like many others here.

:grouphug:

Only thing I can think of right now is take it a day at a time. Do what you believe is best for your son. A mother's instinct is rarely wrong.

Like MrsHedgeHog said, homeschooling is a great thing. I homeschooled before my health and other things started interfering. I never regret homeschooling at all. I would certainly look into it for him. It may be a great option.:)

I dont know what to say either Kristin. So I am offering moral support like many others here.

:grouphug:

Only thing I can think of right now is take it a day at a time. Do what you believe is best for your son. A mother's instinct is rarely wrong.

Same here Kristin. You and your family are in my prayers.

Well, I spoke with the attorney today. He's reviewing the papers I sent him. He says it sounds really juvenile.

Ya think? LOL

I'm definitely looking into the home schooling! I never even heard back from the vice principal. He was supposed to call me on Thursday to meet with Corey and me but never did. Don't know what's up with that. Maybe the fact that I got a lawyer scared him??

Thank you for all of the support and well wishes everyone. It's great to have an outlet about this!

Not like I have much going on in my life these days. :rolleyes:

I'm sorry for your son, Kristin, and I'm sorry for you. It hurts so much to see someone you love going through this - especially your child. I hope it all works out and that something good comes from it.

This is a terrible thing Kristin!! It just gripes me how there are people that can do that to others!

I am thinking along the same lines as Teddikat and Meralove, there is something not quite right about the police not allowing you to be present while they questioned your son. It's very suspicious.

As far as homeschooling, my daughter is in her senior year. She's never set foot in public school. She's been homeschooled all her life and is now preparing for her graduation with other homeschoolers. She not only gets top marks in all her subjects but homeschooling has left her with valuable time to have part time jobs, work with her horse, and create a constructive life.... I'm sorry to say but public schools are often an unhealthy environment, emotionally as well as physical as I think you're finding out.

Wow! I can't believe how many people here homeschool their kids!

I'm so grateful that I'll have a resource to look to.

Anyone want to tell me where to start?:confused:

look for a homeschooling group in your area, maybe in the community events listings in your local paper. I found one that way, and one word of mouth. They'll direct you to lots of info.

I started homeschooling Savannah in pre-K, doing "K" work really, but then I found the charter school which I'm happy with. It was more of an issue with the school quality here until the charter schools started opening up. I met loads of people who homeschool as a lifestyle choice. But I learned a lot about it, and think it's a great option for those who can do it!

Really sorry to hear about your troubles.

Wow! I can't believe how many people here homeschool their kids!

I'm so grateful that I'll have a resource to look to.

Anyone want to tell me where to start?:confused:

For the heck of it I googled 'Wisconsin homeschooling' and loads of sites came up! I knew homeschooling was done throughout the states but obviously it is more popular than I realized. Hmm, which imo says quite clearly what more and more people think of the public schools.

When my 2nd oldest son, who is now 24, was just 13 we lucked out and found a homeschool resource center. Supported by our local public school system it was created by homeschool parents as an aid in educating in areas where some parents didn't feel they were able to teach. At that time my son was not doing well in the public schools so I tried homeschooling him and that wasn't working as well as I wanted so I'd put him back in public school.. it was back and forth and I was at my wits end to know what to do to help him. This resource center came complete with certified teachers, a principal, etc etc and loads of moral support from many families. It worked better than anything I could have hoped for.

Anyway, this site here looked rather interesting. I think you could probably contact Ann Zeise and she'd be able to guide you along. Just a thought.http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/regional/Wisconsin.htm#Resources

Wow, what a situation.
Under no circumstances accept anything the prosecutor offers that has anything to do with assault or a sexual offense. It will follow your kid
forever. The only charge I would accept is "disturbing the peace". If your son is innocent, and I belive you, those girls should drop the charges.
Your attorney should make it very clear to all parties that you will be filing a counter suit.

Unfortunately, police are interested in making arrests, and creating revenue and that sometimes means they screw up royally. Once your in the fist, you have have work your way out and learn from it.

Sounds like you also need to have a talk with your kid about choosing a better class of friends. The old saying "you lay with dogs and you wake up with fleas". Tell your son that right now he should concentrate on school and getting into college, not trash girls or video games. Im sure there are kids at his school who are goal orientated and focusing on a more positive direction. Once he's in college, thats a better, and more enjoyable time, for fun & a relationship.

by the way, id pass on the homeschooling. why run away? he's innocent. unless everyone at his school has serious personality disorders?

""Under no circumstances accept anything the prosecutor offers that has anything to do with assault or a sexual offense. It will follow your kid ""


I agree....DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES PLEAD GUILTY OR NO CONTEST to ANYTHING....Make THEM prove their case..

I have talked with several "sexual offenders" who were children when their atty convinced them to agree to a guilty plea...also adults the same thing. They are on the sex offender registry for at least 25 years and the public can see it once they become of age. IT WILL FOLLOW HIM>>

By and large, the comprehensive online guide to Homeschooling nationwide is "A to Z Home's Cool" managed by a brilliant, gracious woman named Ann Zeise. We began using her guide in 1997. Ann's site has everything you could possibly want or need to know about homeschooling either state by state or by curriculum or by grade level... you name it, she's got it. And if, by any crazy chance, she HASN'T got it, just shoot her an email and she'll do her best to find it for you.

Kristin, I cannot tell you how much I miss homeschooling my kids. It was the best experience of our lives and, while they're doing well in public school, I miss those days very much.

Here's the link to Ann's site:

A to Z Home's Cool (http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/)

edited to add: hahaha! Didn't notice that someone has already posted the link. Go with it. Even if you ultimately don't decide to homeschool, you'll learn some GREAT information to help you with your decision. Also, as I mentioned earlier, Wisconsin is one of the BEST states in the country for homeschooling options!!

by the way, id pass on the homeschooling. why run away? I don't think it is running away to choose to homeschool. Many public schools have major problems, even the good ones.

My youngest was a square peg in a round hole, and because she did not fit in, was the target of a lot of bullies. I took her out, in middle school for a year and half.

She choose to go back the last semester of the 8th grade. They tested her and warned me that she had probably fallen even further behind. Well, not this kid. She moved ahead FOUR grade levels in math and was in the 11th grade level for English!

She had great homeschooling friends and participated in a science project at the wildlife resourse center. Homeschooling should be called 'Parent directed education' because very little of it is done at home these days.

Oh, P.S. she is in college right now and making all A's and B's. (She never went to High School.)

I have nothing against homeschooling. I even knew a few classmates who took that route and learned quite a bit more, and in less time, than a traditional public school had to offer. The program must have evolved as well because there was no interaction with other kids back then. My friends basically dissappeard for 3 years.

My point was: dont pull the child out of school because of this incident. If public school wasnt working for him or if the entire school has been and continues to pick on him, homeschool him. But, over a couple of girls or a small group of misfits who obviously have some social/personal issues... I wouldnt do it.

Wow, what a situation.
Under no circumstances accept anything the prosecutor offers that has anything to do with assault or a sexual offense. It will follow your kid
forever. The only charge I would accept is "disturbing the peace". If your son is innocent, and I belive you, those girls should drop the charges.
Your attorney should make it very clear to all parties that you will be filing a counter suit.

Unfortunately, police are interested in making arrests, and creating revenue and that sometimes means they screw up royally. Once your in the fist, you have have work your way out and learn from it.

Sounds like you also need to have a talk with your kid about choosing a better class of friends. The old saying "you lay with dogs and you wake up with fleas". Tell your son that right now he should concentrate on school and getting into college, not trash girls or video games. Im sure there are kids at his school who are goal orientated and focusing on a more positive direction. Once he's in college, thats a better, and more enjoyable time, for fun & a relationship.

by the way, id pass on the homeschooling. why run away? he's innocent. unless everyone at his school has serious personality disorders?

Thanks Gregoryd, I never had any intention for letting him take any pleas. This offense doesn't come with jail time anyhow, so no threat there. And being underage, his record is wiped clean at 18 if he "keeps clean." But on principal - no way I'm letting him admit to something so ridiculous that he didn't do.

As far as friens, etc - you were a teenager once, right, LOL? Easier said than done.

One accuser was a girl who he was friends with for a long time before they became bf/gf. She seemed not to be "trash" at all. Very unassuming, sweet, fun....he had no idea she was capable of something like this.

And, if you've ever been to high school, you know that you can't really choose your friends. Most of his male friends are decent, quiet gamer geeks like him. A couple even had girlfriends. The boys involved in this aren't even a group he hangs out with. The witchy girl who tormented him was dating an old friend of his and that's what caused the trouble (this year at least). It's kind of like two very different groups of friends that kind of overlap a bit.

You have to understand that he has been in this school system since kindergarden. He's known most of these kids all of his life. We live in a community that is 1 square mile. There's probably 400 +/- kids in his class.

Cliques get formed, of all kinds, and you are either in or you are out. I went to this school myself, but I came in at 6th grade. I hoped that my kids would have a little bit of an easier time of it if they were in early and not outsiders. But having a disabled father, not being on of the rich kids and having a stutter all nixed that attempt.

But, to try and just join a different group of friends is all but impossible. High school life just doesn't work that way.

He does have a couple friends that are really decent kids though.

Kristin, I cannot tell you how much I miss homeschooling my kids. It was the best experience of our lives and, while they're doing well in public school, I miss those days very much.

Here's the link to Ann's site:

[/i]

Thanks Kelley & Lynn. The one thing I do worry about is him missing out on the other stuff if he's home schooled. He had joined drama club. He won't have dances or football games to go to. The positive stuff in school will be missed out on, too.[/B]

I have nothing against homeschooling. I even knew a few classmates who took that route and learned quite a bit more, and in less time, than a traditional public school had to offer. The program must have evolved as well because there was no interaction with other kids back then. My friends basically dissappeard for 3 years.

My point was: dont pull the child out of school because of this incident. If public school wasnt working for him or if the entire school has been and continues to pick on him, homeschool him. But, over a couple of girls or a small group of misfits who obviously have some social/personal issues... I wouldnt do it.

I know what you are saying, Gregoryd, but it really is more than just "a couple of girls."

I can just see the taunts..."Oh, you're a pervert. You got arrest for sexual assult."

And he has been asking to leave that school for a long time. People have been so mean to him. He has a really hard time there. Until now, I've basically said, "Don't listen to them. In a couple of years, you'll be out and you won't even care about those people. They'll be off in their self-deluded lives and you'll move on. You'll have more in common with people you go to college with..." and so on. He's put up with this off and on since something like the 4th or 5th grade. We hoped it would get better in middle school, when the 3 grade schools combine, so he'd have a larger pool of people toi get friends from. It worked some, but not as much as we'd hoped.

I don't know what it is. I wish I could be a fly on the wall to see what the dynamics are that cause him to be so disliked by these people. Yet, he does have other friends, so I can't figure it out.

But you should have seen the look of relief on his face when I said there was no way I was sending him back there. And he's asked me a few times since, "You're not making me go back there, right??"

So he's not running away from just a couple of girls. It's years of emotional torment.

Not to mention the horrible grades he has. The were never more than average, but with all of this this year, his next report card was a few D's and F's. MAybe he can concentrate better at home and get those grades up.

I don't think it is running away to choose to homeschool. Many public schools have major problems, even the good ones.

My youngest was a square peg in a round hole, and because she did not fit in, was the target of a lot of bullies. I took her out, in middle school for a year and half.

She choose to go back the last semester of the 8th grade. They tested her and warned me that she had probably fallen even further behind. Well, not this kid. She moved ahead FOUR grade levels in math and was in the 11th grade level for English!

She had great homeschooling friends and participated in a science project at the wildlife resourse center. Homeschooling should be called 'Parent directed education' because very little of it is done at home these days.

Oh, P.S. she is in college right now and making all A's and B's. (She never went to High School.) Yellowrose, how do they get "homeschooling friends?"

Yes, we are considering homeschool by computer. That may be our only option this late in the school year. It's too late to get him enrolled in a comparable school in a nearby burb, too. Open enrollment has already ended. But I aslo told the VP that expected them to assist us in placing him elsewhere!!


Are you sure that a school would not consider letting him in under these unique circumstances? I know my daughter has told me about children starting as late as in the last month of school.

Or, are you planning on enrolling him in a new school in the fall?

I tend to agree with you about the concerns about what he'll miss regarding school activities. I think that's a very important part of teen year development. And for a boy who has been through what he's just been through, I think it will be very important that he get involved in circles of other teens that will accept him and not do such a horrible thing to him. And what better way than to get involved with school activities?

All the best to you and Corey, Kristin. It's just not fair what those girls have done to him. One day, they will pay for the damage they have done to his life. Karma has a way of working these things out.

oh god kristin...given your last post about corey, and his relief about not going back, brings tears to my eyes. WTF is going on with kids today??? will someone please slap the parents then their kids. the cruelty that corey has had to endure, especially a handicapped father? i am floored...

You know, coincedentally, I had recently noticed that a LOT of recently successful people seem to have been home schooled, too. I can't remember who it was, but I remember thinking to myself, "How interesting that so many successful people in the news today mention that they were home schooled!"

There is a reason for everything. I just hope it's not too late.

Yellowrose, how do they get "homeschooling friends?"

Oops! I am not yellowrose but homeschooling is not like it used to be. Now there are homeschooling groups. I know in our area we met sometimes every week at a recreation center where there would be 100 kids sometimes. The kids even have sports teams and what not. They are able to make friends just like at public school and they communicate by phone, computer, etc..., just like public school. It's the best of both worlds to homeschool really. Being able to set your on schedule is awesome. It's true most the homeschool kids test out above average. It is a law in our state that if you homeschool, you must test once a year by the states standards. We always took our child to an accredited testing center where she always tested GRADES above the average public school standards. Not tootin' our own horn. I think it's that way with most homeschoolers. MrsHedgeHog mentioned the site A-Z's Homeschools Cool. It's a wealth of information. We used it all the time. I loved homeschooling. I miss it too.

Oh. You mentioned drama club. In our town some of the homeschoolers would meet at the local community theatre. There is usually a parent within the area with the skills to offer any kind of instruction necessary. We had one who was over the drama team. The opportunities are endless really.

kindanice is right Kristin. Because of the amount of children now homeschooled there are many activities available to them. In our case my daughter, Laura, attends the resource center twice a week, and sits in on classes with other students her age. There are hundreds of kids who go there. Over the years she has made many friends, belongs to a group of girls who all show Morgan horses in our state, in Oregon and Canada. Some of these students do belong to a drama club, Laura just wasn't interested. One of the teachers there has her own martial arts school which a few of the homeschool students attend. Laura is considering it. Another of the teachers is guiding Laura and another student along the road to photography, since Laura has a knack for it.

There are new students coming in all through the year. I'd call Ann Zeise, like Kelley and I suggested and just see what she says, I'm sure she can answer most of your questions.

As bad as this incident is regarded Corey, maybe it is the ticket to rise above the scum seeing as how he's had trouble there in the first place. That's not a good learning environment obviously.

Kristin, there are so many extracurricular options for homeschooling kids - your eyes will pop out of your head when you see what's available! And most (if not all) homeschooled kids you meet have very little social drama about them. Plus, Corey can get a jump start on college (did you know that many community colleges will let kids start taking classes for credit at age 15?) and, if you choose it, he can get some really cool work experience most high school kids don't get a chance to try.

Here are just a few amazing people who WERE homeschooled:

Sandra Day O'Connor
Margaret Atwood
Leonardo DaVinci
Claude Monet
Alexander Graham Bell
Ansel Adams
Magaret Mead
Will Rogers
Frank Lloyd Wright
Einstein
Beatrix Potter
Todd Lodwick (2002 Olympic skier)
TONS of business owners including the founders of these companies: McDonald's, Wendy's, Honda, Bank of America, NY Times, NY Tribune,


And a few of the celebrity parents who have or are homeschooling their kids:

Will and Jada Pinckett Smith
John Travolta and Kelly Preston
Robert Frost (he was also homeschooled, by the way)
Lisa Whelchel

There are tons more but this is a good list to get you started...

Kristin,

Sorry for your son's troubles. I understand how these things go. My oldest daughter was sexually assaulted in middle school (a teacher rescued her during the assault). Her assault made the front page of the newspaper (and it was a big metropolitan newspaper, too). When she returned to school, she was taunted by the friends of the other kids. She had a rough time for awhile but eventually it blew over. I put her in counseling immediately. I believe you need to get your son in counseling as well. He has alot of issues on his plate that an impartial person needs to help him with.

As far as homeschooling, it was very difficult for me and my youngest daughter. I had a full time job. Her dad worked full time and went to college at night. We had home responsibilities, he had community responsibilities, etc. I think it all depends on alot of things... How much time you have to devote to the actual teaching, how well your child sees you as both the parent and the role of teacher (my daughter hated it), how difficult it is for them to learn on their own, how motivated they are, etc. We did fine when my daughter was in the 8th and 9th grades but by 10th grade it was extremely difficult for her to keep pace, she fought back against my teacher authority, etc. She went back to high school in the 11th grade and fought like hell to graduate will a full diploma and on time (she did) but it was hard on all involved. She's now in college.

If I were you I might skip the school administration and talk directly to the school board. Bullying is the underlying issue here and many school boards are working hard to address bullying in schools.

There is no magic bullet here for your son, IMHO. I think you need to get him into counseling and work with the counselor as to what is the best option for you, him and the family. Talk to the school board. Tell them that you want to work everything out so that it's a win win situation for all involved.

I've been down this road, and it's hard. I wish you the best of luck.

Thanks for the support, ladies! I'm checking out that link - it's hard to know where to start.

I'm meeting with the vice principal in 10 minutes. Apparently another girl told her story - yet another one that was my son's girlfriend at the time.

And the one girlfriend is insisting that she was never at my mother's house making out with my son. Corey said she told him ON THE SECOND DAY of bf/gf that she told him she wanted to have sex!! HE was the one who said, "Whoa, going a little fast." HE was the one who offered that oral sex was "less risky."

And she twists that around that he was a pervert asking for oral sex!! Agh!!!!

OMG, there so much more. Corey saw the one girl (who accused him of slapping her butt) dealing drugs in school. SHE initiated a conversation about oral sex ie "I heard that you...."

Ugh, long story but I finally got Corey to tell me verbatim the conversations (he kept not telling me stuff or glossing over stuff thinking it's not important). Well, if a girl is telling you that she is HORNY and then you talk to her about it, it's your fault???

I'll let you know how things go....

Man, oh man. I'm so sorry you and your son...and your whole family, are having to deal with all of this crap right now. With a new baby and planning to get married, it's not that you don' t have enough stress already, huh? As I read your story I kept inserting my son into the scenario and it would just kill me...the way you as their mother know your own son is such a gentle, kind soul, but he is being painted as a perpetrator, is crushing. It's not about being in denial that our son would be totally innocent of normal teenage stuff...but to KNOW he would not do what someone accused him of would be devastatingly hard to deal with. That shroud of doubt about his true character that is there for others as a result is horrid and unfair.

In a totally minor incident in comparison (but I still had a brief glimpse at how a false accusation by a girl can be taken totally out of the ball park)...
My now 20 year old son, when he was in the 5th grade, was being bugged by a girl in his class. She kept tapping him on the shoulder when the teacher wasn't looking, etc. He turned to her and said, "Stop it you ho-ho" (as in the chocolate hostess ho-ho cake). She immediately marched up to the teacher and told him that my son had sexually harrassed her by callin her a "ho". My son was a top student in the class, and the teacher had major doubts, but HAD to report it to cover his rear.

My son was called into the office and interrogated. He admitted he called the girl a "ho-ho" immediately. The principal reprimanded him for such language, and suspended him for the rest of the week. We picked him up sobbing...he couldn't understand how a hostess cake could be considered so bad?? Seriously, my son had never even heard the term "ho". He'd just transeferred to that public school from a private one, didn't watch tv that wasn't approved by his father and I, and we live in a small community. Thanks to this little brat, I got to explain the intricacies of prostitution:mad0136:

We called the principal and explained my son's side, but the suspension stood. It was all so disconcerting and maddening !!! We took the time to tell his teacher the truth, and he said he knew my son was innocent and this little girl was a notorious little witch. My poor son had to deal with taunting etc. until the rest of the year for this lie. He survived, and obviously on the severity scale, his experience was 1000 times less than Corey's. But I agree with bubbleee...counseling to reestablish his own sense of his true self integrity would be really good. Young people tend to start to internalize bad things that are said about them after a while...even though they are bold-faced lies.

I wish you peace and resolution in this...I will pray for Corey, that his spirit isn't broken by all of this.

Aww, Karen!! That's so sad! I know it's more innocent than what Corey's dealing with but... geez! Don'tcha just want to scream when someone takes the innocence out of our kids???

Wow, some horrible stories.

Well, I met with the vice principal and a school psychologist today with Corey. I'm too tired to get into it all right now, but let's leave it for now at that they are going to take our VERY detailed story about all of these girls and confront them with it.

Can you believe the old girlfriend is now saying that she was NEVER his girlfriend and never went to my mom's house with Corey.

She does admit to coming to our house. What she doesn't know is that Jeremy left at lunch to take Jersey to school and drove past them as they walked back to school - Corey's arm draped around her shoulders.

Lying little wench!

Just an update.

Well, after meeting with someone from the DAs office a few weeks ago, it seemed we had convinced them that this was frivilous. However, we still got a summons - the DA decided to prosecute.

So, yesterday, we had the plea hearing. Our attorney plead "denial" which I guess is a version of "not guilty"? And he asked for a pretrial hearing. I'm guessing he intends to plead our case there and get it thrown out or whatever before it goes to jury.

Now I have to pay for an investigator to talk to those girls.

The pretrial is scheduled for June 12th. I expressed concern to my lawyer that they would schedule the actual trial during our trip. He basically said maybe Corey would have to stay behind.

Unacceptable!! And I don't get it. When they scheduled the pretrial, they asked everyone if that date was ok. Why can't he just say "No' if they try to schedule the trial July 26 - August 2nd?? He told me he had no control over what the court decides and I asked why he had input for scheduling the pretrial then?

He kept referring to it as a "vacation" and I kept saying, "It's NOT a vacation. It's the dying wish of his father, a once in a lifetime trip, already fully paid for, that we cannot afford to do again AND our honeymoon. If he can't go, I can't go and Jeremy won't go."

Jeremy said he spoke to a few people at work who have dealt with the court system here and they all said that the court asks if the date will work for everyone. I don't get why this attorney is saying he can't do anything about it. I bet if HE were on vacation that week, he'd make sure the trial wasn't scheduled then!!

Jeremy says he's questioning this guy's abilities, because he doesn't really fill me in on what to expect and all, unless I ask. But I already paid this guy a $2,500 retainer. He also said he's very familiar with the prosecuting Assistant DA and basically said she can't argue her way out of a paper bag.

Well, by the end of our phone conversation this AM he seemed to get that it was very important and not just "a vacation." But he said the court will put more weight to a pre-scheduled vacation more than anything else.

I'm about to lose it, you guys. My shoulders are in constant knots and I get horrible headaches and right now I feel like throwing up. The stress is unbearable sometimes.

Two nights ago, I lost it with Jeremy and was in tears. He mentioned that Jerseys kindergarten teacher was questioning why she's been missing so many days and it was the last straw for me. My list seems endless - the wedding invitations/DJ list/final menu/caketop backordered/ring not in yet/centerpieces, the trip/passports, Corey's court case, doctor appointments, dentist appointments, the dog & cat need to get to the vet, the house is a mess, the dishwasher broke, the basement smells funky, bed-wetting problems, Jeremy's back child support could cause passport denial (even though he's been getting it deducted from his check for years), homeschooling worries, my mom need help with her house, Jeremy is getting horrible headaches & dizzy spells and needs to see the doctor, the DVD driver in the computer my son uses for schooling broke, the dog keeps pooping in the basement even when let out several times a day, grocery shopping, the car needs servicing, the money from one insurance policy is running out & I'm afraid we won't have any for the trip, the other insurance policy is in probate and money I thought I'd have by July to pay people and get a car that will fit all of us won't be available until at least October and then I don't know how much I will actually be "allowed" by the freaking courts, the paternity case for Kierney to get my late husband off the birth certificate & how much are they going to hit Jeremy for birth costs.....it just goes on and on!!:Thud: :witsend:

Sigh..ok, end of vent. If you actually read all of that, thanks for listening!!:o

HOLY COW! You are dealing with more than a body should have to... sending all the positive energy I can muster your way. (((hugs)))

kristin...


*H*


more then your fair share going on...

Kristin, my shoulders were getting tense just reading your post. What a full plate you have. I really relate to that feeling when you're overstretched and overstressed and then one more thing happens and you feel like it's all going to come crashing down.

It usually doesn't of course and I'm sure you can cope with this, hard as it is, even if you don't feel you can.

You've been dealt a crappy hand but you're playing it very well. Try and get a breather - even if it's just a long bath, a walk on your own, a nap, whatever. You need to look after yourself if you're going to take care of all this.

Lots of good wishes and keep venting - I think it helps to get the swirling miasma out of your head, where it seems huge and controllable, so you can get some perspective on it.

:( Aww Kristin, I can practically feel the tension coming from your post.

I don't have any great advice. Anything that can wait, let it wait. The mess will be there when you have time to get it, so don't even stress it. Same with the cat and dog to the vet, just put it off for a while. This much stress/anxiety is really more than a body can handle, yours or Jeremy's or anyone elses. Even though your already scheduled to the max, I hope you and Jeremy can find the time to just get away from the world (and the kids, the animals and everything else) and find time for a quiet dinner and maybe a movie. It's really important.

((hugs)) I wish we all lived closer to each other, because I know a lot of people here who think very highly of you and would step right in to help out and get your through this rough period of time.

Hang in there..not much longer until the wedding...

I know how horrible this all is-schools are SO overboard with the sexual harrassment issue, they tend to ignore other issues.
My own son was accused of SH in middle school, for writing back & forth with another kid-and he made one comment about how big a girl's boobs were (??!!). he got a 3 day ISS for that. I was furious.

I believe SH is a real issue in schools (I was a victim of it myself), but their definition is ridiculous.

I hope you get this all sorted out SOON, and find a better place for your son to be.

Kristen, I just wanted to say, unfortunately, I can SO relate to everything you are dealing with. We parallel on so many levels, sometimes I think we must be twins seperated at birth and living seperate/yet exact lives.

I have had SO much going on lately my head is spinning in circles. My son is 11 and a gamer geek too. He's quite and keeps mostly to himself. Reading your nightmare scares the bejeezes out of me for him to be going to middle school next year. I have the probate/insurance/estate issues as well. I also had a wrongful death suit pending which was finally settled just today in court. I sat before and judge and 4 lawyers at noon. I have a child support case agaist my x which will apparantly go on forever. I also had a meeting with yet another lawyer (5 lawyers are too many in one day let me tell you!) this morning about that. My x gave my 16 year old a car for her birthday last year...now he's taking it back. Gee aren't you nice? I had to have my 13 year old dog put down last week. I'm buying a new home, moving and then putting the one I currently live in up for sell. The list is endless and goes on and on. I could keep going, but you already get my point.

I definately know how overwhelming it can be with all you have on you. Just know that where there is a will (and I can tell you have lots of will, you sound just like me, a "make it happen" kinda gal) there is a way. Things will work out, even if it is last minute and it seems they won't. Your lawyer is full of shi+ if he tells you that he can't tell them a certain date won't work. Yes he can. Like you said, if it was HIS prescheduled vacation he would make it happen. You have every right to say "HEY I PAID YOU, YOU SCHMUCK, NOW MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!" Remember HE is employed by you, not the other way around.

I wish I could give more words of encouragement, besides, I'm there and I know how this much dispair can really bring you down. It does and will get better hon. :)

Kristin, I read your update all the way through. Just yesterday I said to Jake on the phone that I was feeling overwhelmed by all the stuff/loose ends/son-issues/marriage upcoming/dance concert to produce/ leaving for Europe/ financial crap...all in the next six weeks. Sheesh, just jumping through all the hoops to make your marriage legal is frustrating (marriage license, social security changes, name changes, voter registration, blah blah blah) let alone planning any kind of ceremony or honeymoon.... I finally sat down and wrote a list of everything I could think of that needed to be done before now and June 24th (when I leave for Europe). It didn't make any of the overwhelming stuff actually go away, but it seemed a little more manageable now that I can see it on paper for some reason.

BUT...then I read your post and I just wanted to run to wherever you are and give you a HUGE HUG! I felt like a whiner when I read the scope of your stuff right now. I wish I could come over and bring my cleaning supplies, dog leash, and a new dvd driver to reduce that stress level at least a little bit. I know how when you feel overwhelmed it's because there is just too much to process/take care of, and it often feels like NO ONE IS HELPING. Emotions flare, and the cycle is not pretty.

The only thing that has ever helped me at all during times like this is to literally force myself to sit down for 5 minutes and write out a grattitude list. I just jot down randomly everything/everyone I can think of that I'm thankful for in my life. I helps with perspective at least...then I usually take a hot bath, and cry:( Crying is cathartic.

I agree kristin....you have heaps to deal with but taking time out to balance it with all the positives is worth it.....you do have work, you have booked a vacation, you all have your health, a roof over your head, lots of love, your beautiful kids etc......

I know it can seem overwhelming and we women are very strong but sometimes we feel sapped and want to give up....the legal system is a joke everywhere, I know I have had my own issues dealing with it lately for the first time in my life and have been shocked at the way it works (and the kind of people who work in it)....

still its better to breathe through it, be thankful for the good things, let what can wait do so.....so the dog poops in the basement, at least its not doing it in the loungeroom and its easy to clean up down there......

sending you love and pink light to calm your etheric space....

Kristin I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about this too! Corey sounds like such a decent, totally harmless and lovely guy. I really hated hearing about how he was victimised at school. He's so lucky to have you!

I honesly couldn't cope with that much stress myself Kristin. I just couldn't plan our wedding and deal with the extra financial and emotional strain; I'd blow a fuse.

Is there any way at all that you can somehow put off the wedding until you've got through the problems with the court?

Kristin, just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and hoping that things start looking up very soon for you.

Good Gosh!!! Hang in there Kristin! Thats a lot to deal with. :bighug:

I just noticed this thread, and wanted to say I sympathize with you in this. Those girls seem vile, where are their parents?? Their parents must be able to figure out they're lying?
This seems so unfair to your son, and your whole family. Those girls need to be punished for this. Kids can be so cruel sometimes, it's so sad that your son got teased even for his dad dying! That is waaay over the line. My dad was 56 when he died, I was 8, and some kids kept saying out loud in the classroom that it was to be expected as he was "too old". Teacher finally told them to shut up. Such incidents makes you really wonder about what kind of upbringing some kids receive....

Best of luck to your son and you all, and I hope you all get to go on your dreamy holiday/honeymoon and have a fantastic time.

See, this is why when Jeremy says I should just quit coming here (because I get worried) I just can't - you all are so awesome! I got teary-eyed by your kind responses!

Marcy, Christina, Bijou, Jo, Maggie, Karen, Whiterose, Kindanice & Athena - thank you for your sweet words, support and sending good vibes my way.

Michelle - OMG, you are so right - we are living parallel lives. I always forget how we've been through such similar thing recently! Too bad your so far away, otherwise I'd say we definitely need to get together for a drink!!!

Bella - When I read the last line in your post, all I could think was, "Is she CRAZY??" LOL! :eek: :D But, no, I can't put off the wedding. Everything is either fully paid for or has a hefty non-returnable deposit by this point. Besides, I mostly have that stuff squared away now. It's just details like picking the songs for the DJ and getting the invites out. We basically picked the meal - just have to get them the final count and confirm the menu. It's just having to remember all of these little details and finalizations.

Freespirit - You know I love you, always the voice of reason. You're absolutely right that there are many positives and rest assured I never lost sight of that. I am painfully aware of how lucky I am to be even having a wedding to marry the man I love and to be able to have this trip with my family. (I wish I could say we are all healthy, but I am seriously concerned about Jeremy's headaches & dizzy spells.) I'm just feeling overwhelmed with the never-ending issues - I didn't even name all of them!

I say "painfully aware" because I seriously feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop - frequently. I still feel a lot of guilt about my late husband and often wonder why god has blessed me with another wonderful man and sweet kids, a nice place to live and a beautiful baby girl - other than to somehow take one away from me. I know that seems silly, but I can't shake it sometimes.

I know that I'm probably suffering from depression, as well. It runs in the family. For the past few days I'm sleeping a lot and I keep putting everything off until absolutely necessary. And I've been have heart palpitations - I think from little panic attacks.

It's frustrating a bit, because I SHOULD be enjoying the fact that I'm getting married and going on a trip, but all of these other things seem to bring that down.

Not to mention that I'm feeling lonely lately. I really wish Jeremy didn't have to work second shift. It probably is contributing to my exhaustion - which adds to the stress and makes it much harder to deal.

He gets home after midnight and I usually try to stay up. But frequently I fall asleep before he gets home or shortly thereafter. Well, he's not ready to go right to sleep, so he'll go play his Xbox Live until 2am or so. Then he ends up sleeping until 11am or noon, while I've been up since early morning with the baby. He takes Jersey to school at 12:30, I try to get some work done and then he goes to work at 2pm.

So, I know I should be happy about a lot of things, but it's just so ovewhelming sometimes and I just needed to vent! :o

Thanks for listening and being so understanding you guys. It's good to know I'm not alone and someone else can relate. :grouphug: :yourock: