Back Again for your Wonderful Advice...

Hi

I am the person that has just turned 43 and am seeing a man that is 32. He doesn't want to know my age still!

Anyway the relationship has been ongoing since Sept 2006. We both have said that we love each other. We see one another about 2 to 3 times per week and we get along well.

Anyhow I was wondering about something and I hope this doesn't seem silly. I recently went onto his My Space account and noticed that he had women added on women that are "friends" that were barely dressed and were from near our town. Many of them are set to private so you can't see all the pictures. Judging from one of them, it seems that they give you their private email to send pictures (which i image are totally nude) and video.

I was very hurt seeing this. Am i being too sensitive? Your advice is welcome. I just saw this in the past few minutes and just feel bad. Is this a boys will be boys thing and should i expect this from a man this age. They are all younger women in their twenties.........thanks guys

I would be upset:confused:
But then again.........I think "myspace" is evil.

it would bother me also..

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=28879129

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=27467876

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=101553721

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=172124407

Yea I'd be upset. Neither my hubby nor myself frequent or use myspace or anything like it. Those kinds of places are not great places to hang if you want to maintain a relationship.

Hi again all!

I have not told him that i was looking in his myspace but we had a conversation on what is considered perversion. He made the comment to me that anyone that feels that viewing the human naked body is bad that that person thinking that is perverted. I didn't say anything other than I can understand the human form in beautiful works of art but not pornography. The conversation ended there. I just don't know how to approach this subject without coming off as a prude or insecure. I keep thinking that I am not opened minded enough or something because of my age......

I wouldn't put too much weight in MySpace "friends."

Jeremy just set up a MySpace page to converse with people from XBox360 online. He gets TONS of friend requests like this. It's SPAM. Most of the profiles are filled with links to Viagra, online sex pages, ringtones, etc. He just deletes them, knowing what they are. I think they literally have software that searches out profiles that say "male" because I don't get any of these.

Here's two he got today:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=171522004
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=171522254

But I also know that there are services out there where you can BUY MySpace friends to make yourself look cool and popular! :rolleyes: So it wouldn't surprise me if a YM would allow these SPAM chicks as friends to fill out their MySpace page to look cool with all the pics of beautiful "friends."

Now, if they do have nudie pics on their site, then that is pornography. No real risk of his hooking up with those girls, but if you have a problem with porn, then you may take issue with it.

One caveat: I can see how prostitutes could use MySpace as a way to hook up with men, too. So if these girls are truly local, that could be the case, unfortunately. But that doesn't mean that he uses their services.

If you are concerned about what's behind the hiden profile, create a MySpace page and put up a picture of a male friend and say "male" on the profile. Then ask them to add you as a friend. I'll bet that'll get you in there to see what's going on, LOL.

I had Jeremy request one of those you posted as a friend:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=28879129

If she bites, I'll tell you what we find out!

Thanks everyone for your input so far. At least I don't feel like its all me........

Kristin, thank you for doing this. It will give me a peace of mind.

this link:
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=101553721

is the one that is asking that they contact her to get her private yahoo email. Also the location where she says she lives is only 15 minutes away from where he lives. This is the one he most recently added.

I noticed that the last three were all from near where he lives. That just concerns me. If he is thinking of playing around. I just don't want to be made a fool out of.

Thank you and your boyfriend for doing this once again....angel

Hi again all!

I have not told him that i was looking in his myspace but we had a conversation on what is considered perversion. He made the comment to me that anyone that feels that viewing the human naked body is bad that that person thinking that is perverted. I didn't say anything other than I can understand the human form in beautiful works of art but not pornography. The conversation ended there. I just don't know how to approach this subject without coming off as a prude or insecure. I keep thinking that I am not opened minded enough or something because of my age......

Hmmm....I just had an alarming feeling of deja vu. My ex-ym said pretty much the same thing. He was very shallow in that regard, and was pretty obvious when he saw an attractive woman (early on in our relationship, he looked like he wanted to bend the server over the table and have his way with her right there....don't ask why I stayed with him). He was always saying things like "the female body is a beautiful thing" and things like that. He had an online subscription to the "paid" Playboy site, and bought Maxim and FM magazines (and who knows what else). Why I accepted all that, I don't know. I've been wondering about a lot of the things I just accepted without question.

Sit him down, explain the fact that you don't care for him ogling naked women (point out that these women are demeaning themselves for attention and that they are, in fact, someone's daughter, or maybe even someone's mother) and see what he says. If he's shallow enough to dismiss your concerns, I foresee problems trying to have a future with him because he's immature and self-absorbed. Not long-term relationship material IMHO.

Thank you Gold Dust for sharing your experience and advice with me. I appreciate it since I really need someone to talk to before I get any deeper with this man.

I called him earlier this evening (as I always do) and I brought up that fact that I saw some of these people accepted as his friends and that they were all near where he lived. He said that he thought women searched out males on myspace and that it happens all the time. He said he wasn't seeking them.

I didn't ask him why he accepted them and was waiting for him to tell me and he just changed the subject. I talked for another 5 minutes and said I had to run. (not normally like me) I just feel grossed out and unsure of him now. I thought he was a "good guy". I feel like he is tainted or something by this. I felt like I was special and attractive to him and now I don't feel like that.

I think maybe it will take me a few days to feel the same but I feel like a little part of me just died seeing what I saw.

OK, I would so not be cool with this ............but it was an interesting read.
The man in ? is Aaron , I'm assuming?
Man I feel like I am not just old "er" right now but from a completely different planet.:confused:
I mean over on Ebay they are allowing people to sell elephant leather and ivory objects (long story)....now this.
Everyone is different though and it keeps it interesting!