Taboo

IN YOUR OPOINION WHY IS AN OM/YW RELATIONSHIP FINE AND DANDY BUT AN OW/YM RELATIONSHIP TABOO???????

Part of it is because "society" likes to think of women as non-sexual and needing someone to take care of them. When an older man likes the younger woman, we smile and say "Way to go!" because it makes him a stud plus he is taking care of the little darling.
But people aren't always comfortable with a grown woman acknowledging her sexaul wants and being able to take care of herself. And heaven forbid if she relates to a young man at the peak (suposedly) of his sexual life. Fortunately, the culture is changing... slowly but surely.
Welcome to the board... good question.:)

I suspect the "taboo" is an offshoot of the historical origins of the family as a social unit whose primary purpose was to raise the children (of a legal marital union, naturally!) And let's not forget the religious contribution: granting approval to sexual activity for the purpose of conceiving those children, again within the sanctified marriage.
If those are accepted as the norms, consider the biological fact that women's fertility declines and disappears with age, whereas men are capable of conceiving children when quite elderly. Once a woman is past, or nearing the end of, her childbearing years, her "usefulness" as a wife/partner ends (other than caring for the existing children). And if the only legitimate purpose for sex is reproduction, then there's no point going through the motions if there's no reasonable prospect of conception! So a YM should not be attracted to an OW, because her breeding years are either limited, or ceased entirely -- and any other sexual interest is downright immoral.
Men, on the other hand, probably wore out a fair number of wives with pre-birth-control incessant childbearing -- and would need a replacement to care for their orphaned children, as well as continue to produce further heirs. They're going to pick one with maximum health and reproductive prospects ahead: a young one.
Thus evolved a tradition of OW as less attractive/marriageable and sexless beings, while entrenching the norm for OM/YW age gap relationships.
Of course, there's an awful lot of traditions that have been discarded by modern society once their original purpose was rendered invalid -- and I'd be happy to see this one thrown out too!

So, tell us your story, innocent. It sounds like you are in love with an older woman who won't date you because she thinks that you are too young for her. We can probably offer a lot of useful advice.

HEY PATRICIA, READ "NEW GUY NEEDS YOUR ADVICE"

Hey, Innocent. While I see what you're saying about the OM/YW thing being acceptable, you should try telling MY family that....they think it's completely freakish. Incidentally my OM was with an OW (a teacher no less) when he was 17 or 18, found her really attractive...but she scared the crap out of him in bed. I think it's true that it's been more taboo because older men can still procreate while older women have less a chance for that. Therefore OW/YM could only be construed as a sexual liasion, because the union couldn't serve the "holy" purpose of procreation. Plus divorce hasn't been SO common for very long, so the chances of an older woman being single and meeting a young man were slimmer in the past. Mm, I could be wrong, but that's what I think.