Reflections this Easter...

it's funny but,
i have lost all desire to be in a "relationship"
with every day that passes i am happier and happier to be on my own; it feels so good to be free i guess you could say.

i also think that it is very hard for men to be faithful and i'm not interested in being party to that anymore. (i certainly know that women can be unfaithful too, but i'm not talking about that right now.)

the guy i came here to get support for a few years ago is still trying to be in my life, he may even love me in his way, but i think that for him it is largely a physical thing. fwb relationships are so not me...and i'm finally seeing that that was precisely what i was in. i was lying to myself to avoid seeing that i was living outside my hearts principles. i guess i'm human after all, but i'm no longer willing to live a life of compromise.

i like this time in my life, i see things much more clearly thanks be to God, on this his Easter.
having someone in my life is not the answer to anything. maybe it's good to just appreciate what i've had and let the lessons catch up with me and be learned...

I had Easter dinner with two good friends, one male, one female. We were having this discussion for a long time. The man is 42, the woman is 58, and I am 56.

We were talking about the difficulty of relationships after the hormones settle down later in life...that the compromises we are willing to make to be in one lessen and lessen...how some women even have an aversion to sex in middle age and later and we were discussing what that was all about...

I think when you reach a level of self-sufficiency and an unwillingness to compromise later in life to maintain the QUALITY of life you have, intimate relationships drop by the wayside.

timely post skatergirl.....having been through a lot with my job and doing some inner work lately, and having amazing unexpected outcomes on both fronts I took myself off to the church down the road yesterday (sunday) and quietly gave thanks for all that is good in my life, and had a sing and a chat to some of the other people there. I am not a christian (lucky they put the words on a screen), although I do believe in God/dess in a big way....it was a humbling experience and I had a little weep and letting go, and then only thought about the moving forward....which is kind of the symbolism of Easter isn't it, new life and resurrected hope.....

and nowhere in this new vision of the future did I dwell on a relationship, rather it was peaceful to sit and think of me, and be still and calm and looking forward to what my life will bring. I don't know that I want a relationship right now, I do in the not too far away future, but yep Im with you, right now happy for it to be me, the kids, the friends, the furbabies....its all good. Blessings be.

thank you kat7 and freespirit for your wonderful posts!

i went through this once before in my early 30's when my hormones were in full swing! i agree with you freespirit, this is coming from more of a spiritual place.

i am not having any hormone issues, i feel fine and "sexy" if you will, it's just that there's a big part of me that loves solitude, and yes even celibacy...even back then in my early 30's, i went through this for 5 years...i was very happy.

i am thankful to God for what he has given me and it is enough!