Mandrake Root
05-15-2007, 05:17 PM
I was introduced to the forum by my darling love and found the discussions.. well... really interesting. Hope to see everyone around the forum.
A bit about myself hahhaaha. I'm a 'survivor' of a disasterous 10 year marriage, that involved 3 children. We were completely different and... well it's a long story but simply it should have never happened. After an incident where my daughter was assaulted, we came completely apart at the seems at a time when we should have come together... the rage and pain was turned upon each other instead. I knew (one of many instances of the failures of our marriage) that the only thing that had kept us together was our children. Loving those children more than life, I resigned myself to a life of unhappiness, pain and regret at my married life just to be with my children. However something happened that changed my outlook on everything. I met the woman I had waited a lifetime for... yet had given up hope of finding. I met her on an internet music site where we both were moderators. What was a friendship became love. I was faced with the hardest decision of my life... face my commitments to my family even if I was dreadfully unhappy and had been for years or break up my family for a woman I had never met. Every thing told me that she was THE one.
damnit..I'm writing a book again.. I always do this.. Being concise is not a strong suit of mine hahah.
After much thought, contemplation, and finally telling my mother just how bad the marriage really was (she had no clue).. I found the decision was not so hard after all. What kind of father would I have been if I was dead emotionally on the inside. First from a wife that hated me and probably never loved me.. then coupled with not following every instinct that said she was my soul mate and really was the woman of my dreams. Several months after my seperation during which we disected each other online, our pasts, our personalities, the way we thought. We had our first meeting.. she flew here from Europe and we spent two incredible weeks together where we found that we truly were everything we could have dreamed of in a partner. We have endured the unendurable seperations broken by visits, her to see me, and me to see her. Each visit has shown us more of each other.. and our love grew stronger which each visit. Hopefully this current seperation will be the last. She is 9 years older than me, a slight difference.. if any... in my mind. To her is a bit more, fears that as she gets older that life changes may affect us. Thankfully I think I have shown her that my love is unconditional and that I will be by her side regardless of what life throws our way. Those fears I know are still there, but they have passed into the realm of the irrational now. I think... I hope... I know.. I've shown her that it is HER that I love.. all of her.
sorry for the novel there.... looking forward to the discussions here.
A bit about myself hahhaaha. I'm a 'survivor' of a disasterous 10 year marriage, that involved 3 children. We were completely different and... well it's a long story but simply it should have never happened. After an incident where my daughter was assaulted, we came completely apart at the seems at a time when we should have come together... the rage and pain was turned upon each other instead. I knew (one of many instances of the failures of our marriage) that the only thing that had kept us together was our children. Loving those children more than life, I resigned myself to a life of unhappiness, pain and regret at my married life just to be with my children. However something happened that changed my outlook on everything. I met the woman I had waited a lifetime for... yet had given up hope of finding. I met her on an internet music site where we both were moderators. What was a friendship became love. I was faced with the hardest decision of my life... face my commitments to my family even if I was dreadfully unhappy and had been for years or break up my family for a woman I had never met. Every thing told me that she was THE one.
damnit..I'm writing a book again.. I always do this.. Being concise is not a strong suit of mine hahah.
After much thought, contemplation, and finally telling my mother just how bad the marriage really was (she had no clue).. I found the decision was not so hard after all. What kind of father would I have been if I was dead emotionally on the inside. First from a wife that hated me and probably never loved me.. then coupled with not following every instinct that said she was my soul mate and really was the woman of my dreams. Several months after my seperation during which we disected each other online, our pasts, our personalities, the way we thought. We had our first meeting.. she flew here from Europe and we spent two incredible weeks together where we found that we truly were everything we could have dreamed of in a partner. We have endured the unendurable seperations broken by visits, her to see me, and me to see her. Each visit has shown us more of each other.. and our love grew stronger which each visit. Hopefully this current seperation will be the last. She is 9 years older than me, a slight difference.. if any... in my mind. To her is a bit more, fears that as she gets older that life changes may affect us. Thankfully I think I have shown her that my love is unconditional and that I will be by her side regardless of what life throws our way. Those fears I know are still there, but they have passed into the realm of the irrational now. I think... I hope... I know.. I've shown her that it is HER that I love.. all of her.
sorry for the novel there.... looking forward to the discussions here.