Another newbie :o

Hi,
Been looking at these forums for over 2 months now... waiting for someone to get my "issue" and me not having to join the forum :D
Its a great forum with active posters and good topics though.. so why not join.
Just passing by now as I'm on my lunch break but will prolly make another "venting" or "what do you guys think" post soon.

Found ageless after searching "age gap" (something like that) on google :)

:358: Stafero! Welcome to Ageless! Get comfortable and when you're ready maybe you can share a little more about yourself.

Yes well I suppose I should tell you something about me.
I'm 21yo "man"(lol). I'm in a LD"R" with a 9 years older woman. We live in different countries. We met through a shared hobby... gaming :eek: Yes, im a nerd. Well anyways we used to talk about all kinds of usual stuff.. nothing personal though, didnt really see a point in getting personal as she talked about her kids alot and mentioning "my hubby" now and then(first I didnt know wth it even meant :) ). Useless trying to seduce a married woman with kids.. I dont wanna be a homewrecker! Then one night she was drunk and started talking all kinds of stuff, very flirty and might I even say "naughty". After that day we started talking daily and and about everything.
She was in a bad relationship and living together with the father of one of her 2 kids and after awhile I found out that she also had a "boyfriend" (who I knew through gaming aswell.. hate him :o )
Well anyway, eventually I was just head over heals inlove with her and she seemed to feel the same. So we used to talk all night and all day both through IM and through Teamspeak(Voice chat program). She didnt want her "hubby" to find out as he would kick her out of the house, that was pretty understandable. Well ofc it had to happen eventually.. he heard her say "i love you", I got messaged at 3am by her "hubby", got all kinds of threats and told me to stay away and she wouldnt ever talk to me again. He was gonna kick her out but then gave her some time to get a apartment but she isnt allowed to get online. Since then we've been communicating through PM's in a forum.. she has to go on the local library PC to write to me as she thinks or knows that he has a keylogger on her pc.
I tell you. Being in a ldr with a someone you cant talk to but once a week (if youre lucky) isnt really the best relationship..
What makes the matter worse is that she later told me that her hubby isnt just another bastard.. hes a abusive psycho.
Havent talked to her now in over 2 months. havent heard of her at all in 2 weeks soon.. Used to get to library pc on thursdays at my lunchbreak and we'd chat through pm's.. but as she has the flu now and feeling shit she cant drive there.
Have gotten 2 snail mail letters from her since she wasnt allowed online anymore.
The problem I have is that I dont want to be in a "relationship" like this, but I know that I wont ever find anyone like her. I love her with all my heart.. everytime I hear her voice I almost giggle, and everytime I see her messages I smile. Everything seems easier around her. Write her Pm's everyday.
Shes waiting for a house to become availiable so she can move.. but where she lives it takes awhile to get anything.. shes on a couple of waiting lists though.
Aslong as I am not occupied by school.. im gonna visit her as soon as she gets her house apartment sorted.
We've known eachother for 9 months
Just needed to tell someone I suppose.. as I cant talk to her. Shes prolly gonna kill me if she sees this :yes:
Oh and she was never married with her "hubby". So she says anyway, "never loved him enough to marry him but we had a blessing(youngest son)"

Wow, sounds like you are really in a "mess"! Welcome to the boards, and I'm sure some of these wonderful wise people will have some advice for you.

Don't feel bad about being a "nerd"...Lots of folks here met their significant others online or gaming. I met my husband that way.:)

Stick around, this is a great place to hang out and get some support, and always find a virtual shoulder to lean on.

Wow, sounds like you are really in a "mess"! Welcome to the boards, and I'm sure some of these wonderful wise people will have some advice for you.

Don't feel bad about being a "nerd"...Lots of folks here met their significant others online or gaming. I met my husband that way.:)

Stick around, this is a great place to hang out and get some support, and always find a virtual shoulder to lean on.
Indeed I am :)
Anyone can feel free to ask questions as I left out.. well lots. Summarizing a 9 month-weird-relationship isnt as easy as it sounds :)

I dont feel bad about being a gaming nerd.. am rather proud, wouldnt have met this perfect individual I love otherwise :bgrin2:
My native language is swedish so anything that might sound weird or spelled wrong is due to my not so perfect but still adequate english

And thanks for the welcome.. both of you :)

Indeed I am :)
Anyone can feel free to ask questions as I left out.. well lots. Summarizing a 9 month-weird-relationship isnt as easy as it sounds :)

I dont feel bad about being a gaming nerd.. am rather proud, wouldnt have met this perfect individual I love otherwise :bgrin2:
My native language is swedish so anything that might sound weird or spelled wrong is due to my not so perfect but still adequate english

And thanks for the welcome.. both of you :)

HI! I met my better half in world of warcraft LOL..he is 20 im 41..been together 8 months engaged and wonderful..I know what you went through..I was married to a complete jerk he did the key logger thing for 2 years of our marriage FOUND nothing so I learned how to do it to him found out he was having an affair with my sons ex...divorced now of course THANK GOODNESS..BUT it sounds like she is with acontrol freak...
EEK you are in a heaps mess my friend...I would be patient but dont lose yourself into this to much or you will be lost...dont forget about you..dont sit and wait for the emails get out and do things to...We seem to forget when we are in a LDR that we dont find time to us or family..so just dont get yourself lost...I wish you the best and PLEASE keep us updated!!
BIG HUGS!!:bgrin2:

Hello from another gaming nerd! Met my hubby in There and we now play WoW too... just like previous poster. We have quite a few gamers here... I think enough to have our very own forum... or at least a thread or two ;)

Yeah I do actually go out almost every weekend and dont come back home until I've sobered up and am ok to drive on sunday :bgrin2: Well you know.. cos Im 21 lol. Nah but have good friends so am with them alot. But I am still wondering about (lets call her my OW) my OW most of the time... like when we mates wondering what we should do next.. go to a movie, go for a drive whatever, I always think about what I could do if she was here :)
Guess I'm a little obsessed :o
But mostly im really conserned for her as the first time we talked after he found out, we had a convo along these lines:

She: How are you doing?
Me: Fine, you?
She: Well am ok but have a blackeye
Me: What happened?
She: Can I tell you I fell down the stairs?
Me: lol, No
She: He did it.

Then another time a month later or so. I hadnt heard from her in 2 weeks and then she finally came online another thursday and told me she had been to the hospital as he punched another tooth out...(Was in a car crash a couple of months ago and lost 1 of her front teeth.. thats why "another")

So you see I am mostly concerned for her. She doesnt want to move out immediately as she would be put in a shelter, doesnt like those + she'd then prolly have to leave her youngest son with him so... So shes waiting for a "house" to become availiable in that area.
She prolly doesnt want anyone knowing this.. has only told 3 people including me. not her parents or any close relatives. So thats why she'll kill me :eek:

Now I'm not a violent person at all(guess thats one reason she likes me ;) ) but I really wanna meet him... and "talk" to him :mad: .

Edit: I'm no WoW player btw.. that would be awful :tongue2: I play CS:S

Please don't go "talk" to him. Ugh reads like (I'm sure its not but still) some awful lifetime movie where woman meets young guy online... they fall in love... she tells him all kinds of awful things about hubby and why she can't leave him... young guy goes to "talk" to him... kills him... woman gets loads of insurance money... young guy goes to prison.

Okay so yea I'm being dramatic here, but I gotta tell you... there is ALWAYS a choice there just is. She can leave him or have him removed and a woman being violently abused would NEVER, EVER leave her kid with the abuser. Doesn't make sense at all.

/edited to add: You don't have to play WoW to be a gamer... Hubby loves Tribes and CS.

Please don't go "talk" to him. Ugh reads like (I'm sure its not but still) some awful lifetime movie where woman meets young guy online... they fall in love... she tells him all kinds of awful things about hubby and why she can't leave him... young guy goes to "talk" to him... kills him... woman gets loads of insurance money... young guy goes to prison.

Okay so yea I'm being dramatic here, but I gotta tell you... there is ALWAYS a choice there just is. She can leave him or have him removed and a woman being violently abused would NEVER, EVER leave her kid with the abuser. Doesn't make sense at all.

Yeah kinda dramatic.. lol.
I've known her long enough in my mind atleast that she would'nt lie about this kinda stuff and she thinks "its okay though" when I ask her about him. and she doesnt want to talk about it at all. "Dont really like talking about it thats why i kinda tell you straight to the point and move on.. "
The choice would be to go to the shelter and leave her young son behind... now thats not really a choice. she could move out of town perhaps but guess it all comes down to her son/s and their school and fathers

Edit: Im not planning on killing anyone lol. I wanna go to my OW and stay with her for however long I can and then come back feeling good until our next meet. BUT if he decides to come and hassle her in anyway during that time, I'll prolly go in the middle, I'd rather have me be hit as im a guy :p I'm used to it by now(got a older brother.. lol). I'm not violent as I said so I wouldnt start anything anyway. (Just needed to post this edit so you lot dont think im some psycho serial killer :D)

I don't know what kind of shelters there are where she is, but the ones I am familiar with allow the women to bring their childrem with them. I find it hard to believe there would be a shelter for abused women that WOULDN"T allow it, it would be REQUIRED. I gotta wonder about that......

Exactly! This was what I was thinking too.

BTW, I definately didn't mean that you were a psycho serial killer... just had that ol' lifetime movie channel image in my head when I was reading your thread.

Suppose you two are right. Guess it all comes down to her not thinking shelters are nice. We'll see what happens.. I'll update when the situation gets any clearer :)

I know you dont think im a serial killer but if I would just have been quiet then you might have thought that :p