I am taking a deep breath...

to tell you what is going on in my life. I don't remember if I posted or not (I did PM a few) but I have been getting a lot of calls from Bill who I met last November. The calls are different. Good different. I knew in the beginning that he loved me. I knew I loved him. Then he crapped on me big time.

While he was in the hospital with pneumonia, he realized that he had been just waiting to die. The fact that he almost did die with pneumonia, scared him. He now knows, because he tried, that he does not want to be without me. He has groveled, begged and sweet talked to get me back.

I have been laughing again and smiling more since the first time he and I were together. My daughter said today, that my face looked transformed. That I looked a lot younger. I am telling you all this because I know I look foolish going back to him. But I am going to do just that. I leave tonight (Wed) to go see him. (He has pulmonary hypertension & can not travel yet).

In my heart, I know that this time it will work out. And there is a reason that I am connected to him (other than I am dysfunctional :D ). So, please wish me happiness and not "have your head examined". If it works like I think it will.. everyone is invited to the wedding!. Good night... Barbara

Barb,

Have a great time in LV! I hope it will work out between you and Bill.

I would never think anyone foolish when they give someone a second chance. We all make mistakes along this rocky road of life and if forgiveness wasn't part of it we would all be very lonely. Good luck girl! I for one am checking out fancy hats!
Ari

Hi Barbara,
Just wanted to say there is NOTHING wrong with giving someone a second chance. Whats that old saying? "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me?" or something like that lol. Anyway, you'll never know for sure unless you go see for yourself. You'll find out that either he has changed and is the man for you, or he hasnt changed and not "the one". Soooooo, good luck!!!!!:)

Sherry

Just go with an open mind and open heart! Enjoy yourself ~ it's a mini vacation! Hope you come back feeling refreshed and rejuvinated. Have fun, sweetie! *hugs*

People really can change when faced with a life-threatening situation. It really does wake them up. Good luck with Bill, and hope you have a really great time! :)

Hi! I know this will work for you. I wish so much that I was given a second(or third) chance as well, because I know I would never this time blow it up again. You man is lucky to have you.
I wish mine would believe in me again...
Good luck! Let us know what happens...

YR,

It's never foolishness to follow where your heart leads and if it appears that way to others then that's their problem. The best of luck to you.

Moon

You have to follow your heart in these matters. If you don't, you may regret it for the rest of your life ...

Have a great time ...:D

Princessdy

I gave my YM a 2nd chance after a year or so of going back to being "Just friends", we couldn't stay away from each other. Anyway it was the best 15 months of our lives. Both of us were transformed too. Love has a way of doing that. Wishing you all the best.

Terry

He just got to you, Barbara, he just did.. Good for you.

Ups or downs - emotions like to be actively stimulated; a while ago someone said that maybe we need that adrenaline to go up to feel things deeper and stronger. You said from the very beginning that you wanted it to work. Good news that he is convinced now too.

All the best, YR

Teli

Barbara, go slow, go easy, but do what your heart tells you. You're a big girl, and a smart girl, and I know you wouldn't do anything you felt was wrong.
Hugs, and have fun

I lived with the nut in Md. for 4 yrs; he ran around and drank too much and I saw the light and left 2 1/2 yrs ago. This past Aug. I get this phone call and letter pleading with me to take him back because he just had open heart surgery with a new pacemaker, valve, and auorta repair. I said , 'No way." NO way to being his nurse, no way to being with an invalid, no way to being with a man on meds for a heart problem who won't be able to get it up anyway because of all the meds. NO WAY!!! You deserve better and will find much better! Hadley

Wow, HadleyManassas that was “plain words without a song” as we say in Sweden. Gave me another perspective on the issue, and you have a point there. Neither I think that YR should go if she does it caused by a “Florence Nightingale” heart. But Yellow Rose aren’t you and Bill in that stage that you still is about to “get to know each other”? I mean you haven’t been in a long relation with him before? Then why not fully enjoy your feelings and let it fill your body and soul and let your feelings make you beautiful!! There will later on be time too analyze what a relation with him gonna look like and if that really is what you’re looking for. Just enjoy and let time tell what cards you want to play!

// Take are

YR said, "...and then he crapped on me..." HELLOOOOO????
Hadley

Hey Barb.....
Well, I was pretty much not happy with your Bill the last time around, because I know you got your feelings trampled on a bit there.
HOWEVER...I know how smart you are, and I know how together you are...and I say if you feel things are taking a turn for the better and you wanna see how the story ends with Bill, go for it! I hope it's a happily ever after kind of fairy tale story, but if it isn't, we will all be here for you. You won't ever know until you give it a chance, and you would probably spend a lifetime of regret, the way it sounds, if you didn't give it another chance. *smiles* Good luck, Barbara!

I've given second changes and I've been given them. Thank God for people who can forgive and forget.

Go for it, but don't let happiness blind you to the situation. If he just got scared and is grabbing for you to reassure himself it will be obvious as he starts to feel better and begins to slip back into his old ways. If he really did realize that he needs you in his life then he should continue to treat you like a queen.

Hadley, there is a big big difference between a "nut" who wants you back to take care of him and taking care of someone you love and who loves you in return. Bear was sick when I met him and we are still trying to find the cause. Should I have rejected the most wonderful man I ever met just because he isn't well?

As for getting crapped on...well...Bear and I didn't exactly have a smooth path. I was able to let him prove he loved me and give him second and third chances...he gave them to me as well. Not all of us have an easy time as we build a relationship, but you can learn from the mistakes and build on them. Listen to your heart, keep your eyes open and take a chance. That brass ring might be within your reach this time.

Peace,
BA

You have so much insight and wisdom......it's true we learn from life itself.......I hope if your child gets sick or your soulmate does........ that God forbid if we should ever turn our back on them. But I agree with Bear....look out for the obvious, but be open to the possibility to a long lasting relationship.

I missed this line in Hadley's post the first time out. I find it disturbing because it equates sexual performance with being a desirable partner.

Hadley said: "no way to being with a man on meds for a heart problem who won't be able to get it up anyway because of all the meds."

I enjoy sex, but I can't imagine turning my back on someone I love because they are too ill to "get it up..." Maybe I'm a romantic, but I like to think that a relationship is more than sex... that at it's best it transends the flesh.

As long as there is intimacy and love and tenderness in a relationship I believe that it can surve the lack of sex.

Peace,
BA

Hi everyone! I made in last night. Bill took me to a great restrarant where I had a fabulous meal. It was so much fun and Bill was terribly romantic which I just ate up. He is telling me more about where his stupid head was at when he high tailed it last time. I understand. He knows if he screws me around this time, it will not be a raging woman with a car from Texas... I am bring a tank and getting the job done in one pass (I did not see him officer). I were just kidding everyone.. I would never do that.. maybe if PMS is around. Anyway, we are just relaxing and have a great time together.

All your thoughts and encouragement or even acknowlegement means a lot to me. You are my family more than my own sister is.

Now Hadley... here is the wrench that I have not shared with everyone as a whole, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis along with some other miserable diseases. I usually look good when I put on some makeup. I take more pills and see more doctors than Bill does. That is one of the reasons that I considered an older guy this time. I can't keep up with a well YM & would not want to hold him back.

I don't know how old you are Hadley but if sex was no longer a part of the equation, at the age of 56, there are other things that are imensely more important in life. Bill helped me out financially out of the goodness of his heart at Christmas. If he wants me to run the dishwasher occasionally it is not a big deal. He has a full time housekeeper that does everything so I would not become his nurse maid.

I have been laughing and smiling since I got here even though I have a bad cold. Bill and I have the same dry, dark, wicked humor and we have fun. NOW... I AM taking things one day at time. And time will tell. Either way I will live and I will live WELL!

Barbara, most of us look much better with some make-up on..changes me a lot too.. look at all these Katherines and Madonnas when they are not "done"..

You are an attractive woman and he better treats you well!!!

Have a great time and do smile often; that enhances the looks more than any make-up ;)

Kisses,

Teli

I could write a book about that one.
H.

Don’t know anything about impotence or how it could affect a relationship. Perhaps it’s a thread that needs to be discussed? Might be a big problem, and not only for men?? And talking about impotence might also put another issue in focus – older women sexuality, it’s often neglected and sometime also forbidden to talk about.

Suppose I‘d never been a sex interested woman more than normal. If that’s bad or good I have no idea about. After meeting a YM I suddenly realize that there are some good stuff going on in the bedroom…lol …..

But despite that I think that true love and companionship comes first than anything else in a relation. Tenderness, hugging, romance means a lot more to me than plain sex and a man that could see my inner qualities and also support me to grow and enjoy life, and that we together could keep each other happy.

So sad to here about your problems YR, I couldn’t have guessed. I’m surprised all I’ve read that you write kind of make me think of a jolly happy and problem free woman. Suppose it’s your humor that affects me.

Take care,
Anna

Here's to the Yellow Rose of Texas...may this relationship end in Happily Ever After!

Like many of us young and old, you have some health problems. You already know that if you loved and you are loved that it doesn't matter. I have so many romantic stories about people who married inspite of health problems that I could write my own book. My favorite is my study partner from college who was so sick from diabetes. His fiance loved him so much that she insisted on going on with the wedding even when it was clear that he was terminal. She maintained that any time she had as his wife would be worth the pain. She still feels that way many years after his death. Love always finds a way...

I know that you will live *well* and live happily. It would be nice if Bill could share that happiness with you. I've found that positive people always find a way to make lemonade. I'll bet you can make gallons.

Peace,
BA

Ps. love the part about the tank. Bill had better behave himself or they will have to scrape him out of the tred.

Originally posted by yellowrose
here is the wrench that I have not shared with everyone as a whole, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis along with some other miserable diseases.

Yellow Rose,
I just had to share this info with you since I just read an article in the Feb.25,2003 issue of Women's World pertaining to Rheumatoid Arthritis. There is a new drug out called HUMIRA http://www.humira.com that was just approved by the FDA on the last day of 2002 for this disease. Check it out the woman in the article says it has worked a miracle for her. :)

I wish you well whatever the outcome for you and Bill. We all make mistakes in our lives. Sometimes people need a major wake up call to get their act straight,maybe this happened in Bill's case. He is very lucky to have you.

You are an intelligent,beautiful woman and I know that you will make the right choice on continuing this relationship or not :)

Hope your enjoying your time together. Have a wonderful time!

Smiling Happily for you,

~*foxyeyes*~

They say eat no red meat, only chicken and fish with salads and then pain disappears.
If none of you ladies have delt with a guy you loved and impotency, then you don't know the agony for a healthy sex life that suddenly dies. It also lets you know if you indeed really love someone. My ex hubby went impotent at 45 from too much drinking and smoking coupled with a thyroid problem. That will help a guy along. He refused to take viagra, so after 8 mos, I filed for a divorce. Once I decided to exit, he decided he should take viagra. But by then, I discerned it was more of a battle of the wills, and wanted no more of requests for health checks and urological help. When I left, I began dating guys his age, and soon learned that it was a big issue for guys from 45 to 55. There were several men I dated, one at a time... the first one was 55, we went out a few times, the magic moment began to head that way, and soon I learned he has the same problem. So I ended that one before it began. Then I dated a 45 year old with heart problems, and after the 4th date the magic moment arrived again, and nothing happened...and he dropped the bomb that he was on heart meds...and that it caused limp willies...so I ended that before it began...I also learned that weight lifters on steroids have the same problem, because I dated one, and the same thing happened...so to those sanctimonious souls who lecture the noble virtue of abstaining asyou play nurse maid, I say ,phooy!! You have no idea how quickly a limp one will make a healthy woman walk backwards really quickly out of a potential, looming problem. There are many problems. It takes viagra about 1 hr to kick in for men, and then sometimes it doesn't kick in. Basically, if you can at all get a healthy man, do so. Look ouit for yourselves, Ladies, cause no one else will. As Mary Kay used to say, you may need looks when you are young, but when you are old you need your money, health, and brains. Hadley

Yes Hadley I'm one of those sanctomonious nurse maids. Funny thing...I'm happily married and still posting here, while others who have different priorities are still looking for a partner. :)

I guess any man you date better be able to satisfy you or pack his bags. How sad that you never look past the zipper to determine the true worth of a man. A few years ago I had a very serious relationship with a man who was totally impotent. He was also a quadriplegic, so he needed some help to do most anything. He was also a brilliant, funny, amazing man I will always love. We had a wonderful sex life because good sex doesn't come from an erection...it starts inside your head. He was creative and loved to experiment. Had things worked out differently I would be with him still.

Impotence can come from many causes. Sometimes it's because the couple isn't getting along and it makes a great weapon. Sort of the male version of "I have a headache." Sometimes it's from medication, sometimes structural due to illness or injury. How its handled in the relationship makes all the difference. Loving couples still have a sex life and share intimacy.

I have a friend who married a man who was born impotent. He thought no one would ever love him. He was wrong. They were married in April and had a wonderful and sexy honeymoon. In July he got a penile implant. She let him know that if it didn't work (and some of them don't) they would still be man & wife and she would love him forever. Well, fortunately it worked and they are currently working on living happily ever after.

It's all in how you think of it. I found it an opportunity to be creative. My partner, who had long thought his sex life over, was delighted. Impotence should only send you out the door when it's used as a weapon. Other kinds are merely a challenge.

Hadley, I hope you find a healthy man, but don't be surprised if he doesn't stay. Men have a tendency to want more in a woman than someone who looks out for herself. Since I think you're about my age, I hope you have "money, health and brains" since we can't count on our looks lasting much longer.

Peace,
BA

Sorry, I like them young and hard ...

QUOTE]Basically, if you can at all get a healthy man, do so. Look ouit for yourselves, Ladies, cause no one else will.[/QUOTE]

Sure hope you are never the one who falls ill and needs care. Wonder what your thoughts will be as you watch Mr. Perfect Penis high-tail it out of there in search of a healthier specimen ... although with all the criteria that needs to be met, I'm sure that's a fictional scenario.

Thought we were on here to discuss YM? And no...I never lower my expectations to hook up and keep an alcoholic...life is too short for misery. H.

Sexual problems can happen in men at any age. Testicular cancer is one of the biggest cancers in men under 25, diabetes can cause erectile problems even in fairly young men, accidents happen, hormones can get out of whack, anything can come up that might interfere with a "normal" sex life.
If something happened to David that affected his ability to have intercourse, I'd certainly grieve for the loss, but I sure as hell wouldn't walk because of it. His penis isn't what I fell in love with, its just the frosting on the cake. I happen to love the cake. And we'd find other ways to manage.
Wonder what the term for better or worse is supposed to stand for these days?
And to a some of the ladies here, a YM might very well be in his forties.
Maybe some thought before hitting post would help with not offending people as easily as you seem to H.

This is just fyi.... I never indicated that Bill had a problem with his sexuality. That is the conculsion someone else jumped to. I am just saying that for me to be down on a guy because of health problems would be stupid, given my health problems. I am simply here, enjoying myself, come what may.

YR,
As for me I’m a complete idiot when it comes to know people’s intention, reading between the lines or interpret emotions…just so you know….:) and perhaps I focused on what someone else said than on what you actually wrote yourself. Hopefully I haven’t made any ridiculous remarks before thinking twice (which I often do)

The only thing I wanted to say really was that I don’t think it’s a bad idea to go and se Bill. Why not enjoy and let time tell as long as you protect your heart from being hurt! Seems like you could have fun so go girl!

//Anna

Air, that is the problem and he , "crapped all over" her that is the other problem, then came to his senses and wanted back once he got into some health jams...being nurturing to someone who is devoted and adoring is one thing; being nurturing to someone who doesn't deserve you just because you may not want to be alone is a whole nother selfless game that need not be played. YR you can find a better catch. My point made.Hadely

Odd situation, don’t get me wrong but couldn’t help myself from laughing. Poor YR (!) here we sit arguing about what is right or wrong for her to do, and suppose she already in her heart have a decision. She’s probably tired like ---h---l on us.

However if I understand it right you are worried that YR might find herself wrapped in a future relation with a man that doesn’t deserve her attention? Well as long as you have a caring thought about YR that’s fine. As for me I feel a trust that she is capable to make a good choice and that she has a good judgment. And if not, we are all human beings that learn from our mistakes and hopefully become wiser. But if we restrict ourselves from life itself we never gonna learn or have experiences that makes us stronger.

Be calm Hadley, YR gonna be fine and if not, she has all this board that gonna be here to support her!!

So get going YR and have fun!

Take care,
Anna

Well, I am SO miserable. Bill and I went out last night and ate the best baby-back ribs. Then he MADE me take a $100.00 to the Black Jack table and darn it... I left the table with only $250.00. Oh, he wants to go to church Sunday... I said no problem (why couldn't he be an alcoholic so I would have a project?). After church he wants to go look at open houses forsale. He has said that he wants to buy me a house for us to live in and that way if anything happened to him, I would have that already in my name & paid for. Why are some men so mean? :D

The simple fact of the matter is that superficial people attract other superficial people. At 54, an age when chronic illness can strike at any time in the next thirty years - and most assuredly will - you have to do some hard thinking about whether a good friend and a person of integrity and caring is what you want to grow old with - or if you will continue to chase after people based on shallow attributes - thus ensuring that when YOU are in need - they will most likely run for the hills.

Money, status and a hard penis have nothing to do with love, and nothing to do with sticking around for the duration.

Anymore than firm breasts does.

And men and women who select their spouses for such attributes end up alone, in nursing homes. (As have my two uncles).

If someone picks you for your money, status and physical attributes - what use are you to them when you have none of these things left?

Anybody with a heart will avoid you like the plague because they know the love is conditional on things they can't control.

I nursed my husband through terminal cancer and made sure he could die at home like he wanted too - because he was my FRIEND, first and foremost.

I was 30 years old and I had no sex, no fun, no nothing but sickness and death for years, during the bloody prime of my life.

But I can sleep at night just fine - and love came around to me again - with a hard penis included in the package, for now, and hopefully for a long time.

If I had walked away (and there were times he encouraged me to) - I would've hated myself so much that I doubt I would ever have been able to love again.

Hadley writes as if the only choices are bad men, and healthy, rich, studmuffins.

Life is not a cartoon and it is never that black and white. We are all flawed beings, with limitations of one kind or another. And we have to be there for each other, despite the problems that get sent everyone's way.

Do pick someone who is worthy of your love, by all means, who will return it and be there for you.

And then stick by them when life throws you an unexpected curveball.

YR - I don't know if Bill deserves a second chance or not. Like everyone, he has issues and maybe he's worth it and maybe he's not.

Take the time you need to decide.

It's about his heart - not his job, his wallet, or his penis.

How beautiful of you to stand by your husband, you have my deepest respect, that takes a real woman to stand by her husband until the end. Your husband was a lucky man to have you in his life. It is my hope that the same will be returned to you. It is like the saying goes, what goes around comes around. And you deserve the very best. I agree that you shouldn't choose a man by the wrong attributes. I feel sorry for this Hadley, which it's plain to see that the pain of her past has caused her heart to grow cold, If she doesn't come down form her high hoarse and face reality, that she isn't getting any younger, and she may end up alone when she is in need herself. So what she is healthy so am I, but that doesn't mean I would lose all compassion. I know of this woman who was so picky in her choices of men, she still remains alone until this day. If I didn't give my husband now a chance, which went against everything I believed.....it was my thinking that a man shouldn't be younger then his woman. But I decided to give it a chance and if I didn't I would not have this man by my side today, I would never know love in this way.YR is mature enough to know that their are second chances, God Himself gives us second chances, and He shows us His mercy always.:)

I believe that women should be self-reliant. I have my own home with my own very low mgt, and my very big stash of $$ in the bank, a great retirement plan, super alimony from my ex, and lots of insurance for my kids. As Mary Kay said, each woman needs to take care of herself and not rely on any man except for love and to carry out the garbage is he is part of the picture. I don't rely on males for their money. Plus, I am not a gold digger. I don't look at a guy's wallet, but I sure want a man that works. I plan ahead, "be prepared" is the Boy Scout Motto. And I am!!! My folks are in a super retirement home with a super retirement. My ex hubby is fixed for life and so am I . I refuse to put up with males that flash their green in my face to get my attention. A nice dinner on the town with him paying is fine; if he wants to foot the bill for a trip great or a house, too, fine. But I am not hunting for that. I am hunting for a male that is self-confident, healthy like myself, substance free, has no emotional issues like anger management problems, is not jealous, and certainly doesn't 'crap on me' at unpredictable times. I certainly don't expect any male to take care of me in my old age--unless, he is so inclined. The biggest gift I can give my kids is to educate them/ and they all are and to take care of myself; plus, to enjoy life, and I do. Tonight my gf's and I are going to a club at the Hilton outside of DC and dancing ourselves silly. Tons of fun! Congrats to you ladies who are married to YM. Great. But no, I don't put up with men 'crapping on me,' or getting drunk in public, or yelling, or chasing other skirts, and no I don't lower my standards because then you are not true to yourself. Yes, I have dates often, am asked out often by self-confident men who want an intelligent, independent female who is not solicitous and needy...I shoot from the hip, am very loving, and they know it. "Beauty is truth, and truth is beauty," ...think Keats said it best. Hadley

Hi Barbara,

Hope all is still going well. I know you will do the right thing for you. My warm thoughts and prayers are going up for you. I am sure it will be ok.

Yellow Rose, I'm SO sorry you had to have such a good time with Bill. Gosh darn it, here we all thought he just existed to be sick and crap on you....

Don't worry, no one thought he has any problems in the bedroom. That little tangent was from us folks who know from experience that life is so much more than intercourse. There will always be those who will warn you away from a man who is not completely healthy. I've always perferred a partner who has been sick because they know what its like are are there for you when you need them.

Desert Spring your nick suits you well. The desert blooms in the spring and life begins anew. There are no words to describe how wonderful it is that you cared for your terminal husband. That was a gift to him and to you. Your heart learned the true meaning of love and now you are sharing that with your YM. You are so patient with him as he grows and learns. You could never do that it you hadn't learned how.

It's been reassuring to read the posts on being with a partner who isn't perfectly healthy. We can't be assured of always being healthy and neither can our partner. If "young and hard" is our only criteria we would likely find that the "hard" extended to his heart and when we needed him he would be gone chasing "young and firm."

Peace,
BA

Ahh...why isn't there an icon for a hug here?

You were emotionally and physically abused by your husband, Sandie. I've got a longer post on the subject on Polly's Impotence post. I've seen this in other couples and it's a control issue.

Look at what you said about not being able to sleep with him so you ended up in the basement and being a servant like Cinderella. Like you said, he wanted a slave. This is a far cry from a couple where the man has impotence problems and is actively working on them.

There are so many types of abuse and this one makes it far to easy to feel that you are the one at fault. It wasn't your fault and if your husband loved you he would have continued to treat you like his wife and not his slave.

It is true that there will be problems in a relationship where a couple's sexual drive is vastly different. The person with the lowest drive controlls the relationship, so it is up to them to do what they need to do to make it work. Far too many people aren't willing to do this and the other person just gets battered emotionally. This happens when the woman is "frigid" and I'm sure on the other board for OM/YM we could hear some frigidity horror stories.

Just remember that Mike is NOT your ex. If he became ill, you would work it out and try to keep the intimacy. He has no reason to want to make you his slave or abuse you. Together you would find a way to make it work. Love makes all the difference and you and Mike have all the love in the world.

Peace,
BA

I realize that every situation is differant, and no one knows better then the two who are involved....it's kind of like what Bear states in her replies there are those who have been willing to stick by their man, but neverless didn't get the same respect from the man that they were sticking by. There are differant forms of abuse...there are the physical and then the mental abuse. But in this post we are speaking about two people who are trying to make a go at it, that's the purpose to us being a support, no matter what the out come is. We can only hope for the best concerning YR and Bill. And I do appreciate how everyone chooses to share their story no matter how painful it was. And Hadley it always is good to prepare oneself and look out for your children and your own. I guess what we are trying to get across here is nothing can be taken for granted no matter how well you prepare, we all will share a time where we have to make a decision either for ourselves or a loved one. And all may be good but hard times hit everyone, will we learn from it and grow or will we panic and run? No one has it altogether, not one. So what it comes down too.... is let us support YR with our best wishes and good intention. Let us be there for her!!!!!!

When we each share an experience or thought on this board, it will resinate on each of us differently. If I say "Bill, crapped on me big time", to Hadley it equates "I don't put up with men 'crapping on me,' or getting drunk in public, or yelling, or chasing other skirts,". To someone else, it might mean "he picked his nose at the opera". So we are all going to have different responses because we have had different experiences.
Now Bill's crapping on me was that he made a total commitment to me (I did not ask for it..) and then got cold feet. He did not go out and screw someone or hit me or cuss me out. He got cold feet. For me that is a forgiveable sin. Now his good points are: he is witty, he is affectionate, he compliments my appearance constantly (which is very healing for me), he & I discuss the stock market and politics (which I like), we love the same movies and food, he understands my need to take naps, he is a Christian like me and he really loves me.
Are we going to make it? I don't know... that will take time to find out. Also, what constitutes "making it" with one person will be something different with another. My YM exhusband & I are no longer together. Did we make it? Well, we are not together but we gave each other a lot of love and happiness and we have a beautiful daughter together... so in my book "we made it". In my book Bill and I are making "it".... today. And truthfully, that is all we have "today".
Now on another tanget... Hadley spoke of self reliance & I am not certain how that got thrown in this thread (we seem to be covering everthing from impotence to "care of the elderly" :D ) I have always been an independent career woman. My last job paid me $110,000 a year. But the beauty of love between people is reliance. I can rely on you guys here to be here for me. I can rely on Bill to take care of me in areas that I need his care. And he can rely on me to do the same for him. Being vulnerable with a loving partner is being next to God. It is a spiritual connection and the ultimate purpose of a life partner. Because of the vulnerablity of the two souls and the care they give each other, they are both transformed into something stronger and more beautiful and more human.... Just look at how strong we are as a group here. Read the stories and look at the lives that are transformed because we are here for each other. Pretty amazing isn't it? I think so....

Well said YR ... very, very well said :)

Princessdy

everything you said, Rosa... I sought counselling; my ex said, " I will go and you can't come. " That shut the door on communication. Everything turned into basically on his terms, nothing on my terms. After 8 mos of dissing, I exited the scene. Much like you, I wanted the sexual side to live on not become nullified and pronounced as unimportant, and also not to be called, "oversexed," if the physical dysfunction was his not mine. I ditto all that you have said; been there.
I have dated men since over the past several years who have all had the same problem ( 3 actually), and each time the problem arises the male usually always protects his ego by saying that [at the moment of female need] that sex is either not important to him, that her sexual needs are not important to him, or that the sexual problem is hers not his...it is never that he has a thyroid problem, heart med problem, or that he is on steroids. Funny about that male ego. That behavior is painful to women.
YR, glad to know that 'crapping' on you didn't mean skirt chasing. That is a relief. Glad, also , to know that you are well heeled and fairing financially. It was hard to tell whether Bill buying you a house was to make you feel more financially secure or just a frill for good measure. Glad you know that it was the latter.Hadley

YR,I don't have much to say except,I wish you good luck and happiness with whatever happens.....but if he screws up one more time "kick him to the curb"....I really hope he doesn't.you seem like a nice lady,so you really deserve to be happy.

I myself don't give second chances.thats only because any time I ever did,I lived to regret it.but thats just ME;)

YR: sounds like you are having a grand old time! i'm so happy for you both...enjoy to your hearts content! *hugs*

>^..^<

Hadley, I am glad that you approved as to what I said. Do realize that I did not say anything about sex in this last post and you posted that Much like you, I wanted the sexual side to live on not become nullified and pronounced as unimportant I am not upset with you, I just wanted to clarify that. Have a beautiful day! :cool: