Update On My Dad

Well for those of you who know my dad has been sick for 2 years now, I just found out threw a biopsy that the cancer has spread from the stomach to the lung to his leg...he is not in good shape and we are told that he might not be able to pull through this. All prayers and positive thoughts are welcome. Thanks again for all the love and support you have shown me...I truly appreciate it and it means the world to me.

Jenny thanks for the update!! I'm keeping your dad in my prayers...

oh my jennybeans! im sorry girl..you know you got prayers from me girl...lots of lovessssss

If you don't mind sharing his first name I can write him in the Chapel book when I'm signing it.

I know that people pray for the names listed. :o

If you don't mind sharing his first name I can write him in the Chapel book when I'm signing it.

I know that people pray for the names listed. :o

Thomas...thanks for everything you guys have done, from here to myspace you guys have reached out and helped me so much. It means so much to me...

Aww.. Jenny.. that must be so hard to hear that news. I am thinking of you all, and hope and pray that treatments can do something to improve his condition.

Do the doctors have any prognosis?

Aww.. Jenny.. that must be so hard to hear that news. I am thinking of you all, and hope and pray that treatments can do something to improve his condition.

Do the doctors have any prognosis?

I got the call at work to say the least I didn't handle it very well, my mom called me and she was crying so hard I could barley hear any thing she was saying. This was only the first biopsy there is another one tomorrow. As of right now they need to watch his leg due to his diabetes if he gets infected he might lose his leg, I don't know anything else, but will find out more as the days go by I guess. Thank you again for all the well wishes...

I'm so sorry, Jen. Your dad is so young to be going through all this. And I truly do know how difficult it is to deal with the serious illness of a parent, and how emotionally draining it is.

I wish I could offer you more in the way of comfort, but the only think I have to give you are my prayers, and the prayers of my family. My children and I will pray for your family, and send just as much positive energy your way as we can.

I hope today brings you some good news....

well I have no new news, none of it is good or bad. Surgeons have come in all the cancer specialist and everything have all seen my dad, no one is saying you have bla bla months left but they are telling us there is pretty much nothing they can due to his stroke that was set of to the chemo last year we have no real options left. My mother is hanging by a thread and I am not able to vent at all because I need to be strong for both my parents and the rest of my family. Me working in a pharmacy gives me knowledge of these things and a chance to talk to doctors and pharmacists one on one and they all tell me the same thing, there is nothing I can do. Well I already know I can't do anything he's dying and that's it, but give me a time frame of when I'm gonna lose him and maybe it might help me. His pain is unbearable, he is on morphine and it is doing nothing and it is starting to mess with his head, today he grabbed a nurse telling her to give him discharge papers because he'd rather die in pain in his own bed and not the hospital, my mother having to witness all of this is one step away from a nervous break down and I need to stay positive and calm when I really what put my fist threw a wall. Oh yeah and all day I'm working in a pharmacy having to deal with stupid *** people yelling about why there prenatal vitamins aren't covered and why is this copay higher than $50. I feel like screaming at them to shut the F up and leave me alone I have enough problems there kid can go one day without there chewable vitamins with fluoride. I don't know anymore... I just want answers so I know what the hell is going on...but at least I have people like you to pray for me and help me a little...you have no idea how bad I need some of the laughs I get here.

Jenny, I'm really sorry that your father, you and your family are going through this. It's really awful to see someone that you love so much go through all that pain.

I'm saying a prayer for you and your father to give you both strength and courage.

http://www.sxc.hu/pic/m/m/mo/mommyof9/345684_white_candles_gold_ribbon.jpg

AWWWWWWWWWW jenjen! Im sooooo sorry..you know you can vent here..your our jenny girl! we all love you!

you have the right to answers...be a biznotch if ya have to..lord knows I did with my mum and my brother to give me a time frame...This way your some what prepared....Wish i could help you all I have is hugs and a ear

I'm really sorry crumbcake, you don't have to be strong all the time, you come here and be not strong anytime you want.

I love it here and all you people...thanks for all the advice and well wishes, my dad is on serious pain killers and is still in server pain. Things aren't looking good but I am a strong person and I refuse to just give up and say oh OK he's going let me break down, I will fight until there is nothing really left to fight for and even when he is gone I will continue to fight because that is just my nature and the person I am, I might be only 5'2 120 pounds but I will take down a giant if I need to!!!

I love it here and all you people...thanks for all the advice and well wishes, my dad is on serious pain killers and is still in server pain. Things aren't looking good but I am a strong person and I refuse to just give up and say oh OK he's going let me break down, I will fight until there is nothing really left to fight for and even when he is gone I will continue to fight because that is just my nature and the person I am, I might be only 5'2 120 pounds but I will take down a giant if I need to!!!

you go girl!...god your like me..makes me proud of you sissy sue!

you go girl!...god your like me..makes me proud of you sissy sue!

That's just who I am...but I can come here and be myself (censored of course) and vent and not have to worry about being strong and who's gonna see me break down, I haven't yet but one day in that pharmacy I might. I'm off Friday for my cousins graduation so I will be in a better mood, but Meri thank God I have you because you were making me laugh last night so hard my grandma told me this morning I woke her up 3 times...I love you guys and thank you sooo much for letting me come here and just go off when I need to!!!

That's just who I am...but I can come here and be myself (censored of course) and vent and not have to worry about being strong and who's gonna see me break down, I haven't yet but one day in that pharmacy I might. I'm off Friday for my cousins graduation so I will be in a better mood, but Meri thank God I have you because you were making me laugh last night so hard my grandma told me this morning I woke her up 3 times...I love you guys and thank you sooo much for letting me come here and just go off when I need to!!!

Girl thats what friends are for!

Friday will give you a small break..but you vent whatever you want..we all been there somehow..I know how it feels!!

I am sorry about your father but thankful that they're giving him the pain medicine that he needs...you all just have to keep buggin them to up the dosage.

If youre like me, i wanted to stay strong for my mom, but then when i was alone, i let myself feel it, you have to sometimes.

I took a leave off of work when my dad was sick, you can always do that. I dont know if your company is covered under the FMLA act or not. But you are allowed time off, even if youre not covered, i would think.

Hang in there... *hugs*

My boss has told me to take some time off. I am not the same Jenny I was a week ago. I even walk different, without saying a word people have come to me knowing something is wrong. Everyone I work with is like family being I'm the baby there and the youngest they look at me like a young sister or even a daughter so they are there for me. They all know my family and my father and are more than willing to help me in any way. Working is an escape though or else I'd be with my dad all day and I HATE seeing him in that much pain...my birthday is in a few weeks and I'm taking a week off to do nothing, just sit home (on Ageless) and just relax...a week to do nothing sounds so good right now.

My boss has told me to take some time off. I am not the same Jenny I was a week ago. I even walk different, without saying a word people have come to me knowing something is wrong. Everyone I work with is like family being I'm the baby there and the youngest they look at me like a young sister or even a daughter so they are there for me. They all know my family and my father and are more than willing to help me in any way. Working is an escape though or else I'd be with my dad all day and I HATE seeing him in that much pain...my birthday is in a few weeks and I'm taking a week off to do nothing, just sit home (on Ageless) and just relax...a week to do nothing sounds so good right now.


oh girl thats not that far away..you do need you time!!

I got a pharmacy joke for you!!
A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. A couple days before the cruise, the travel agent calls and says the cruise has been canceled, but he can get them on a three-day cruise instead. The guy says "OK," and goes to the pharmacy to buy three Dramamine and three condoms.

Next day, the agent calls back and says he now can book a five-day cruise. The guy says he'll take it. Returns to the same pharmacy and buys two more Dramamine and two more condoms.

The following day, the travel agent calls again and says he can now book an eight-day cruise. Guy says, "OK," and goes back to the pharmacy and asks for three more Dramamine and three more condoms.

Finally, the pharmacist asks, "Look, if it makes you sick, how come you keep doing it?"

A young man goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

Meri what would I do without you? I need to print that one out and hang it at work...we have all sorts of crap hanging about pharmacy about patients about people in general...I'm telling you working with the public sucks, I love people but I HATE people all at the same time...I guess it depends on the people....oh snap I'm hijacking my own thread....

Meri what would I do without you? I need to print that one out and hang it at work...we have all sorts of crap hanging about pharmacy about patients about people in general...I'm telling you working with the public sucks, I love people but I HATE people all at the same time...I guess it depends on the people....oh snap I'm hijacking my own thread....

LOL here is the site girl...figured you needed a laugh..You cant see me naked THAT would crack you up..so I figured JOKES!!

http://www.workjoke.com/projoke38.htm

JEN HERE YA GO!!!
Outside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life, not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle -- just standing there, frozen. The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant and asks, "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?" The assistant replies, "Yes, he was. He had the most terrible cough, and none of my prescriptions seemed to help." The pharmacist says, "He seems to be fine now." The assistant replies, "Sure, he does. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market. Now he won't dare cough!"

LOL here is the site girl...figured you needed a laugh..You cant see me naked THAT would crack you up..so I figured JOKES!!

http://www.workjoke.com/projoke38.htm

JEN HERE YA GO!!!
Outside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life, not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle -- just standing there, frozen. The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant and asks, "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?" The assistant replies, "Yes, he was. He had the most terrible cough, and none of my prescriptions seemed to help." The pharmacist says, "He seems to be fine now." The assistant replies, "Sure, he does. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market. Now he won't dare cough!"

HAHA I don't know if Kai would appreciate that...now for real people are defiantly gonna get the wrong idea about our friendship!!:yes:

HAHA I don't know if Kai would appreciate that...now for real people are defiantly gonna get the wrong idea about our friendship!!:yes:

LMAO! you know ya love it girl!:bgrin2:

LMAO! you know ya love it girl!:bgrin2:

I'd be lying if I said I don't and my dad always taught me not to lie!!!!:yes:

I'd be lying if I said I don't and my dad always taught me not to lie!!!!:yes:


good to see ya laugh girl!

you know Jo said she would do a strip for us later..and molly is playing bongos..not telling ya what others are doing!

good to see ya laugh girl!

You know me...I'm always laughing...some people might think I'm crazy sometimes because I just start busting out laughing. But I want to be remember as laughing not always being mad at the world...I hate people like that!

You know me...I'm always laughing...some people might think I'm crazy sometimes because I just start busting out laughing. But I want to be remember as laughing not always being mad at the world...I hate people like that!

What do you mean ..you dont like ANAL people...god SORRY had to say it
/slaps self:tongue2:

What do you mean ..you dont like ANAL people...god SORRY had to say it
/slaps self:tongue2:

Behave yourself woman!

Behave yourself woman!

okay!! ..NOT:tongue2:
Im telling the MODS on you!

HEY jenny got a shirt for ya..says Pharmacist do it over the counter!
:rofl::yay::giggle::wink2:

okay!! ..NOT:tongue2:
Im telling the MODS on you!

HEY jenny got a shirt for ya..says Pharmacist do it over the counter!
:rofl::yay::giggle::wink2:

so much for behaving yourself...girl you have no idea how much I need these laughs.

so much for behaving yourself...girl you have no idea how much I need these laughs.

oh girl I know! when my mum was sick right before we lost her..my sister bj OMG took me to a club with transvestites who are female entertainers...was great fun and it took my mind of crap along with her...ya she is a kooky gal but a good sis

oh girl I know! when my mum was sick right before we lost her..my sister bj OMG took me to a club with transvestites who are female entertainers...was great fun and it took my mind of crap along with her...ya she is a kooky gal but a good sis

We are not going to that club, but we need some rum and coke for sure...

Well my father is no better or worse, he is still in sever pain and is not in a good mood at all. One minute he'll be singing and laughing the next he's screaming at his doctor cursing at him and wanting to get up and leave the hospital. Today his nurse pulled me aside and asked to speak with me privately (my mother had to go to work today she missed 2 weeks and her office is closing permanently and she needed to close the month) anyway, it turns out my father was caught leaving the hospital last night to go and SMOKE!!! He was caught outside and had to be brought back in by security, when asked why he responded to this is not Riker's Island! Security was and is now permantally placed outside is door. Just thought I'd update you all! Oh yeah and I get a call from my little cousin about an hour ago, she now wants to go to the prom which is tomorrow night, now she's know this all year and has not wanted to go, I come home from a day of hell to a phone call letting me know she'll be over at 9:30 to borrow a dress and a pair of shoes...I wanted to kill her but I love her and am so proud of her, she'll be the first college student in the family. I dropped out of St. John's my first semester.

Well my father is no better or worse, he is still in sever pain and is not in a good mood at all. One minute he'll be singing and laughing the next he's screaming at his doctor cursing at him and wanting to get up and leave the hospital. Today his nurse pulled me aside and asked to speak with me privately (my mother had to go to work today she missed 2 weeks and her office is closing permanently and she needed to close the month) anyway, it turns out my father was caught leaving the hospital last night to go and SMOKE!!! He was caught outside and had to be brought back in by security, when asked why he responded to this is not Riker's Island! Security was and is now permantally placed outside is door. Just thought I'd update you all! Oh yeah and I get a call from my little cousin about an hour ago, she now wants to go to the prom which is tomorrow night, now she's know this all year and has not wanted to go, I come home from a day of hell to a phone call letting me know she'll be over at 9:30 to borrow a dress and a pair of shoes...I wanted to kill her but I love her and am so proud of her, she'll be the first college student in the family. I dropped out of St. John's my first semester.

WOW jen your dad is FULL of spit and vinager! LOL...HUGS GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!

My dad might be coming home today, there is not much more they can do and he wants to be home he's been in there for a week for they might MIGHT release him tonight if all the doctors agree. My mom doesn't seem to be too happy about this because it's not like I can give him morphine drips, he just wants to come on bug me he said. Anyway I need to go have lunch with some friends so I will keep you updated.

My dad might be coming home today, there is not much more they can do and he wants to be home he's been in there for a week for they might MIGHT release him tonight if all the doctors agree. My mom doesn't seem to be too happy about this because it's not like I can give him morphine drips, he just wants to come on bug me he said. Anyway I need to go have lunch with some friends so I will keep you updated.

Oh wow. That seems like a sudden change. I don't know much about cancer or treatments, or procedures. Is this a normal procedure?

If he's not going to be taking the morphine while at home, what is the plan? He's going to just try to remain comfortable at home, or is he looking for alternative treatments?

Oh wow. That seems like a sudden change. I don't know much about cancer or treatments, or procedures. Is this a normal procedure?

If he's not going to be taking the morphine while at home, what is the plan? He's going to just try to remain comfortable at home, or is he looking for alternative treatments?

I'm not to sure...this is coming from my father, now he is not himself and is not making much sense. When he called he said Jenny guess what? I might be coming home tonight, then I called my mother and she said Jen, just say yeah Tom that's great and play along with him. My father is not himself right now, so I'm just taking my mom's advice and agreeing with him and than that's it. I don't think he will be coming home, he would be in so much pain and the that is something that I can not handle, there's no way I'd be able to be strong while living with my father screaming in pain across the house...

I'm not to sure...this is coming from my father, now he is not himself and is not making much sense. When he called he said Jenny guess what? I might be coming home tonight, then I called my mother and she said Jen, just say yeah Tom that's great and play along with him. My father is not himself right now, so I'm just taking my mom's advice and agreeing with him and than that's it. I don't think he will be coming home, he would be in so much pain and the that is something that I can not handle, there's no way I'd be able to be strong while living with my father screaming in pain across the house...

Oh okay. I guess it's the morphine then (making him not himself)? I remember when I was on morphine - man, it was supposed to take away the pain, but it just intensified it to the extreme. Also, light, sound, and every sensation of touch was heightened, too. Light hurt. Sounds way outside hurt.... like that. But it's good to make you wacky, too.

Wow, that must be so hard to watch as an outsider :(

more *HUGS* to you, Jen

I can say that alot of times if there is nothing they can do Some patients can go home. My gramma when she had colon cancer and they said there was nothing more they could do after a two year fight; they let her choose where she wanted to go. So home she went and hospice..god bless those lovely people helped us through it all. To the end she was full of spit and vinager.


Ps jenjen morphine lol..my son had that when he dislocated his leg and kneecap. He was 13 told a 24 year old nurse hey sexy mama you me later...she said Okay Little man time to go back to sleep and rest Im old enough to be your older sister..he says get this BABY age is just a number..we about died laughing. He does not recall this!
When i had my kidney stone and was at the ER I guess I was talking about sex to a nurse! Kai told me everything..I dont wish to go into details but lets just say I dont want to go to THAT ER again

My father came pulling up to the house about an hour ago in a taxi. In his PJ's he's home...he wanted out so he's out. He seems OK now but wait until the pain kicks in. I'm waiting for my mother to get home, I didn't even call her, I was in shock, I was in the back yard in the pool with some friends and all of a sudden he comes strolling in the back yard saying Jenny you got money for the cab. I didn't know what was going on (I was drinking rum and coke), I didn't know weather to laugh or cry. He's in his bed room watching TV!!!! I'm just in shock, oh yeah he also stopped at the store to buy a carton off KOOLS!!! Man I am done, I'm not upset anymore because if he doesn't care why should I! What ever!!!!

My father came pulling up to the house about an hour ago in a taxi. In his PJ's he's home...he wanted out so he's out. He seems OK now but wait until the pain kicks in. I'm waiting for my mother to get home, I didn't even call her, I was in shock, I was in the back yard in the pool with some friends and all of a sudden he comes strolling in the back yard saying Jenny you got money for the cab. I didn't know what was going on (I was drinking rum and coke), I didn't know weather to laugh or cry. He's in his bed room watching TV!!!! I'm just in shock, oh yeah he also stopped at the store to buy a carton off KOOLS!!! Man I am done, I'm not upset anymore because if he doesn't care why should I! What ever!!!!

I know sis I know maybe he figures well im dying anyway why quit now...who knows sissy :( Im glad he is home though. He will go through so many changes in his head and thoughts. Denial anger acceptance all that. So right now he is probably thinking STICK IT WHO CARES...ya know what im saying sis?
I would have been shocked to girl! drinking my rum and coke and see that...LOL He sounds like a handful hehe:yes::tongue2:

Girl you have no idea, he's a 48 yr old 2 yr old...but than again aren't most men? Well at least the men in my life!!! I love you Meri!!!

Jen have you had a chance to talk to his doctors....if he signed himself out whilst under the influence of strong painkillers they are still liable for his wellbeing....I would check they know he has discharged himself.....also maybe he needs a different type of painkiller, there are other options for strong pain, and usually a combinatin can bring relief better than just morphine...must have been a real shock to you. Do they have palliative care nurses where you live who will support you and your mum looking after him at home if he wont go back......good luck hope you work it out

Free ya good point...JEN i would check make sure..
I can see it now your dad told um GO AWAY and took himself home...ROFL he is a PILL!!! LOL

hugs girl and love ya to

I plan on talking to my mother when she gets home...I really just have given up. I don't know what else to do. I'm gonna let my mother handle this and I will support what ever she decides...he wants to be home he can be home, I mean I love him I want what's best for him but there is NO talking to him, no reasoning...I'm tired I'm emotional, I'm hungry (yes hungry) I'm bored...I'm other stuff I won't mention!!!! I plan on going out tonight and enjoy being 19...I plan on being a good daughter and respecting my father's final wishes...do I think they are right hell no! But there is nothing I can do anymore....I'm lost!!!

I plan on talking to my mother when she gets home...I really just have given up. I don't know what else to do. I'm gonna let my mother handle this and I will support what ever she decides...he wants to be home he can be home, I mean I love him I want what's best for him but there is NO talking to him, no reasoning...I'm tired I'm emotional, I'm hungry (yes hungry) I'm bored...I'm other stuff I won't mention!!!! I plan on going out tonight and enjoy being 19...I plan on being a good daughter and respecting my father's final wishes...do I think they are right hell no! But there is nothing I can do anymore....I'm lost!!!

GOOD JEN GO OUT!!!!!!!! take a break! If you dont I will walk my azz to NY and get you out of the house! Man girl your so emotionally drained you have to do some YOU time. (((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Girl I been there omg I been there! I bought a punching bag and whe i get soooo mad or I can't handle it anymore I beat the hell out of it THEN i scream in a pillow or drive to the middle of nowhere and i scream

GOOD JEN GO OUT!!!!!!!! take a break! If you dont I will walk my azz to NY and get you out of the house! Man girl your so emotionally drained you have to do some YOU time. (((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Girl I been there omg I been there! I bought a punching bag and whe i get soooo mad or I can't handle it anymore I beat the hell out of it THEN i scream in a pillow or drive to the middle of nowhere and i scream

I have that in my gym!!!! Me and friends were going nuts on it today...than we hit the pool that's why daddy dearest popped up!!!! I plan on going out later...my cousin is having her prom tonight than tomorrow were having a party for her so I will be busy, which is great...

I have that in my gym!!!! Me and friends were going nuts on it today...than we hit the pool that's why daddy dearest popped up!!!! I plan on going out later...my cousin is having her prom tonight than tomorrow were having a party for her so I will be busy, which is great...

GOOD...you need to be you also ..dont forget that.

My father came pulling up to the house about an hour ago in a taxi. In his PJ's he's home...he wanted out so he's out. He seems OK now but wait until the pain kicks in. I'm waiting for my mother to get home, I didn't even call her, I was in shock, I was in the back yard in the pool with some friends and all of a sudden he comes strolling in the back yard saying Jenny you got money for the cab. I didn't know what was going on (I was drinking rum and coke), I didn't know weather to laugh or cry. He's in his bed room watching TV!!!! I'm just in shock, oh yeah he also stopped at the store to buy a carton off KOOLS!!! Man I am done, I'm not upset anymore because if he doesn't care why should I! What ever!!!!

HOLY MOLY!!!!

Man, my brother was like that, too. He was in the hospital dying of pneumonia that he somehow survived. But the doctors told him if he didn't quit smoking, he'd end up like "this guy" and they brought him over to see this guy whose chest was opened up and his lungs all black and nasty. My brother just barely survived that pneumonia, and as soon as he as out of the hospital, he was smoking again.

Wow, but what a wild ride you've been on, Jen! I haven't even read the rest of the thread.... I'm afraid to look. LOL

Well, if he's going to stay at home, maybe it's time to start looking for some kind of alternative medicine that might at least keep him comfortable.

Today my dad's cancer doctor finally called us back with the news that the cancer had started in his stomach and spread to his lungs, that it is now all over his body. This should have been detected years ago but someone missed something and my father has been getting miss diagnosed for 2 years, my mother is out for blood and now my father is the one who is wreck. He can no longer walk is not eating is so weak that we have no idea how to get him to his doctors office Monday afternoon, he might be too weak for treatment if any is even available to him. I don't know how doctors can miss something like this, this man has been getting test for years, and you miss tumors like that? How is that possible? Now that I have gotten the answers to my questions I'm not sure I want to know anymore. I have no idea what the hell is gonna happen now but my dad does not look good and I've just about WE"VE all just about given up on everything and everyone. Just wanted to give you my ****ty update...

WOW Jenny, that is so awful! There just isn't anything to say, it's so unbelievable that something that important could have been missed for so long! :( I hope your mom gets that blood she's after!

Today my dad's cancer doctor finally called us back with the news that the cancer had started in his stomach and spread to his lungs, that it is now all over his body. This should have been detected years ago but someone missed something and my father has been getting miss diagnosed for 2 years, my mother is out for blood and now my father is the one who is wreck. He can no longer walk is not eating is so weak that we have no idea how to get him to his doctors office Monday afternoon, he might be too weak for treatment if any is even available to him. I don't know how doctors can miss something like this, this man has been getting test for years, and you miss tumors like that? How is that possible? Now that I have gotten the answers to my questions I'm not sure I want to know anymore. I have no idea what the hell is gonna happen now but my dad does not look good and I've just about WE"VE all just about given up on everything and everyone. Just wanted to give you my ****ty update...

AW sis..I am so so sorry...We are all here for you girl you know that!!! If i could give ya a real life hug I sure would..Your my online sis girl!
LOVE YOU!

I'm so sorry to hear this update.

My heart goes out to you.

I really need to update my thread but I just can't do it right now. I've got too much emotionally tied to it. Hopefully soon I can bear enough to post.

Your family and you are in my prayers.

I wish I had something worthy to say.

This is the best I can come up with.

:bighug:

Thanks again for the love and support Angel babe I'm praying for you too. It seems that you need it more than me. I've known this for so long in the back of my head I knew for 2 years that this man was sick and I knew these freaking stupid doctors were missing something. That is what pisses me and my family off, not that my father is sick this happens but this guy was in and out of hospitals tests done all the time MRI's, cat scans, you name it he had it. They told him he had stomach cancer and when he had the stoke they ignored it, all this time it's been spreading, he's been telling these asses that he's having pain that something isn't right and they have said everything under the sun but what it truly was! The doctor told my mom today that if was really caught when it first happened it would have been very easy to treat and prevent from spreading and he would have a great chance now he has nothing there is no chance and I am going to lose my dad for other peoples stupidity. These are the people we are suppose to trust with our lives and they have killed my dad and they have lost all of my families trust and that is something you can never get back.:mad:

Thanks again for the love and support Angel babe I'm praying for you too. It seems that you need it more than me. I've known this for so long in the back of my head I knew for 2 years that this man was sick and I knew these freaking stupid doctors were missing something. That is what pisses me and my family off, not that my father is sick this happens but this guy was in and out of hospitals tests done all the time MRI's, cat scans, you name it he had it. They told him he had stomach cancer and when he had the stoke they ignored it, all this time it's been spreading, he's been telling these asses that he's having pain that something isn't right and they have said everything under the sun but what it truly was! The doctor told my mom today that if was really caught when it first happened it would have been very easy to treat and prevent from spreading and he would have a great chance now he has nothing there is no chance and I am going to lose my dad for other peoples stupidity. These are the people we are suppose to trust with our lives and they have killed my dad and they have lost all of my families trust and that is something you can never get back.:mad:


This makes me so upset! What is going on with doctors these days? they did the same damn thing to my brother. HE he was having chest pains and asking him over and over have you done drugs he was saying NO i dont do drugs. When he had his first heart attack (age 20) They made him WALK down the stairs at my mums house from his bedroom. HE was SHAKING so bad I said wtf you all doing? they said OH he is just on a drug high. I Said BULLS*** He has had arrythmia since he was younger. THEY ignored me and my family. ON the WAY to the hospital he had a heart attack and died. SO they bring him back STILL we got well we think it was drugs..
They did testing and he had cardio myopathy and some other problem ALONG with heart cancer. NOW mind you he had a phyiscal 2 months BEFORE this nothing found..said he had an abnormal blood test. DID they check into it NOPE
two week after his heart attack and waiting on a heart transplant we lost him.
WHEN we went to court over it we found out the cancer had cause the myopathy AND that something could have been doene sooner. MEANING he would be alive today had some doctor took the time to check it out. I am not saying all doctors are this way..but it raises a HUGE issue about what is going on with our healthcare system when people like your dad are slipping through the cracks as well.
LOVE YOU JEN!

Its so sad, and so terrible that mis-diagnosis were made. I know of other times this has happened also (my sister), but thankfully she's lived, even tho her cancer has spread.

Hang in there (((((hugs))))) Jill

Today my dad's cancer doctor finally called us back with the news that the cancer had started in his stomach and spread to his lungs, that it is now all over his body. This should have been detected years ago but someone missed something and my father has been getting miss diagnosed for 2 years, my mother is out for blood and now my father is the one who is wreck. He can no longer walk is not eating is so weak that we have no idea how to get him to his doctors office Monday afternoon, he might be too weak for treatment if any is even available to him. I don't know how doctors can miss something like this, this man has been getting test for years, and you miss tumors like that? How is that possible? Now that I have gotten the answers to my questions I'm not sure I want to know anymore. I have no idea what the hell is gonna happen now but my dad does not look good and I've just about WE"VE all just about given up on everything and everyone. Just wanted to give you my ****ty update...

I am so sorry to read this. Don't know how I'd react if this happened to anyone in my family. My best friend's dad had something similar happening to him. For a few years he was almost constantly feeling ill, but the doctor's didn't find what was wrong with him(they even called my friend's mom "hysterical" for coming into the doctor's office so often regarding her husband). Not until spring 2006, when he was sent in an ambulance to hospital, where they discovered a far progressed lung cancer. He died in August.

Regarding your dad: I think the doctors who failed to detect his cancer, should be stripped of their medical licenses. My best friend wanted that to happen to those doctors who basically are responsible for her dad's death, but in Norway this is harder to do than in the US I guess.

Jenny I'm so sorry ~Hugs~ I so wish I could be there for you!

Jen,
Please do get out and have some fun.
My father who died two years ago in Oct. was treated horrible towards the end by the a**hole doctors. He got a really bad case of shingles and the dr. wouldn't give him good pain meds. WHY???? B/C they are addictive. GEEZE, the man was 82 and had emphasima and pneumonia for God's sake. I had a fit.
At the end when he was on a a breathing machine and the dr. called us in to say that he wasn't going to make it we were asked if we wanted him off the machines.
I said that was my dad's decision but no-one had the strength to go in and ask him what to do. I, the daddy's girl, was the one who did it.
A nurse and I went into his room and I said "Daddy, do you want off of these machines." He couldn't talk but he just kept staring at me and finally a tear rolled down his cheek. I was such a mess. I then had to say again, Daddy, please let me know what to do here, this is breaking my heart and I love you so very much. Finally he nodded yes and they started him one the drugs to take him off the machines.
I slept in his bed with him that night and just talked to him for hours. In the morning, he quietly passed away in my arms.
As hard as that all was, I will always be so glad that I was with him during that moment. So I will always have that.
The point of my little story is this.......Your dad is able, thank God, whether you agree or not, making his own decisions. Keep yourself strong, spend time with him, and honor his choices. I think that is the best, and really, the only thing you can do.
My heart goes out to you and your family.
Take care of yourself.
Later on, when the dust settles, you can go after the idiot doctors. One really tough battle at a time is enough right now........just my opinion though.
If your mom feels better by being angry and active then let her deal with it how she sees fit and be there for her too.
Brightest Blessings, TD

Today we were suppose to meet with my dads doctors to see what the next step would be with my father, well he couldn't make it to the doctor his whole right side is paralyzed, he can't walk or anything he was rushed to the hospital this morning and has been there ever since.
Later on I called his cancer doctor who told me that Chemo might be an option but it doesn't look good right now, he now also has another tumor is his right leg which brings it to two there and one on his shoulder that's a total of 8, not to mention the rabid amount of cancer that is already in his body.
No one wants to say anything but the doctor told my mom this morning that it doesn't look good and he may have to spend the rest of his time in the hospital due to the fact that we can not take care of him at home and he might not also have that long left, his attitude today sucked, he was such an ***! It's so hard not to freaking go off on him but I don't want to do or say something I'm gonna regret. But he really pissed me off today.
He got mad because my mom didn't pack his cigarettes and took away his candy (he's a diabetic) he told my mom you're always breaking my balls well my mom started crying and we left the hospital.
I'm giving up, I no longer care and I no longer want to pray for him or this situation I want a final result (what ever it may be) God forgive me but I just pray that what ever happens it happens quick because I can not take this any longer. If he doesn't care neither do I, me and my mom already said that he can't come back to the house due to the fact that we can't take care of him and his complaining is just too much to handle.
I know some of you are gonna think I'm a ***** for this but you don't know what this is like with this man, in my house people up my *** 24/7 when I'm trying to be a good daughter but still be a young adult, I can't take this anymore, I can't continue to have all of this going on, I feel like I'm gonna snap and people all around me still expect me to be fine and I feel that no one knows what I am going threw. I don't even know what the hell I'm saying. I just want this to end and be over with!

I know some of you are gonna think I'm a ***** for this but you don't know what this is like with this man, in my house people up my *** 24/7 when I'm trying to be a good daughter but still be a young adult, I can't take this anymore, I can't continue to have all of this going on, I feel like I'm gonna snap and people all around me still expect me to be fine and I feel that no one knows what I am going threw. I don't even know what the hell I'm saying. I just want this to end and be over with!

hugs sweet thang....no one thinks you are a B*tch..you handle this however you feel works best for you...I think I can speak for everyone when I say, you wont get an judgment passed on you here...just support if and when you want it. I completely understand why you would feel the way you do...I only wish peace and strength for you and your family to handle this difficult illness with your dad. He is stubborn, thats for sure...but I bet it is all just a wall he has built up to avoid his real feelings and fears that he is afraid to share. Hopefully The time will come before hes gone where he will let all that go. Hang in there honey....

The reason my father is paralyzed on his right side is due to one of the tumors on his back hitting his nerves, now there's aren't like little small tumors I'm talking big the size of a football tumors I can feel it and see it. I don't know what's gonna happen next and I don't even think any of us care just give us the answers we want. What will happen next and when is this man not gonna be with us anymore. We already know that he can't come back home because we can't care for him, even though he's gonna want to. This is all just to confusing and way to much to take.

p.s thanks O for the love I need it!

*BIG HUGS, LITTLE JENNY ONE!*

Thankfully, I have never so far had to be in the position you're in of living with a cancer patient. But I have been in a position of living daily with the attitude and stress you describe. So I can fully understand the reaction you're having.

I worked with a girl once whose mother went through what your dad is going through. She shared with me some of the stories, and it sounds like she did exactly the same as you are doing. Her mom was mean and viscious while she lay dying in the hospital. When the priest came in to pray with her, she grabbed him or something and spewed something vile at him to the point that he was shaken and left the room.

I know that slight changes in the brain chemistry or pressure on anything in certain parts of the brain can cause massive behavioral changes, and I suspect that's at least PART of what's going on with these patients. With your dad, if he's got any medications in him, that could have that affect, but also if he's got any more cancer or tumors that may be in the brain now, that could also be part of it. If these are possibilities, try to mentally take a step back, try to separate the behavior from what you know of your dad otherwise, try to remember how he was during times that he wasn't like this.

It's not easy, I know, to step back like that. Maybe it will be easier now that he's got to go back to the hospital. But once you get a moment to breathe, think about things, and I think you will find it a little easier to understand what's going on. It won't make the stress and the pain go away, but you might feel a little bit more patient and less frazzled.

:bighug:

Jenny Chin up ok!! My prayers are with you!! THink of me sittin there holdin your hand!!

Much love
Mer

I don't know what is wrong with me, I just feel so pissed off at the world right now. No one is really bothering me but still I'm so freaking angry. I don't know if it's stress or just my way of dealing with pain, I'm not an emotional person. I don't cry I get angry and lash out. I just don't want to lash out at the wrong person or wrong time. But I don't even know why I want to lash out. I'm just confused, rambling on not making sense.

Youre allowed to be angry. Youre going thru something sad and awful, and it sucks!!!

All the emotions come out. You can only be YOU. We all know that. *hugs*

Youre allowed to be angry. Youre going thru something sad and awful, and it sucks!!!

All the emotions come out. You can only be YOU. We all know that. *hugs*

I completely agree!!! You have the right!! and Its ok to have your emotions everywhere!

these times in life are exhausting and not normal, the only way to cope sometimes is just hang on, its ok to get angry and feel.

the thing i want to say though is i sounds like your dad knows things are completely out of control and he has lost his life. no turning back is a very scary place to be, God bless him and you.

what ever way you can find your peace, do it. the experience is not an easy one to go through but it will change your life and someways it is for the better, what happened to me after my mother died was an appreication i had for my own life.

its one of the reasons i took the risk and fell in love with a younger man, i saw a person i loved die in 6 months.... it was not pretty and it was very emotional and i gave everything i had, in the long run, it did make me a better person.

in the meantime, use this board to vent, go ballistic, cry, talk or whatever your heart desires, find your support where ever you can.

use ageless as your haven while you go threw this.

in the meantime, use this board to vent, go ballistic, cry, talk or whatever your heart desires, find your support where ever you can.

use ageless as your haven while you go threw this.

I totally agree with Kitty. I am giving you a huge hug.

Absolutely being angry is Okay. It's a part of the grieving process. Im so sorry your going through all this, and at such a young age too.

My father is in the end stages of a disease process (COPD/emphysema) and he lives with me. He's very ill, and sometimes I get so angry/frustrated, and then I sit and feel guilty about it afterwards. He can't help it...

Gal, go out somewhere and just scream at the top of your lungs if you need to, cry, punch something (preferrably not a human.. ;) ) and just express it. It really does help. Sometimes I get in my car and bawl my eyes out. And like you mentioned, I have known my Dad was ill for quite a while, but it still doesn't make it any easier seeing someone you love suffer so.

Hang in there, and remember, you don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You don't always have to be the strong one, providing the comfort. Let other people be there for you and comfort you too...

((Hugs))

I just wanted to once again thank everyone here for letting me go a little nuts and just say what I want and for understanding me. Last night I went out with some friends of mine (one's that didn't understand where I was coming from) and they pretty much just let me cry on the shoulders and now they to know that I am not abandoning them that my dad is really sick and needs me and so does my family. They went to the hospital yesterday to see my dad and they have been great with helping me threw this, you guys are great too, but I also need people who are with me in RL to let me vent. I'm just happy I got my friends back after a nasty fight and happy I have you here to also help me threw this or else I would really be screwed and not in good way!

I just wanted to once again thank everyone here for letting me go a little nuts and just say what I want and for understanding me. Last night I went out with some friends of mine (one's that didn't understand where I was coming from) and they pretty much just let me cry on the shoulders and now they to know that I am not abandoning them that my dad is really sick and needs me and so does my family. They went to the hospital yesterday to see my dad and they have been great with helping me threw this, you guys are great too, but I also need people who are with me in RL to let me vent. I'm just happy I got my friends back after a nasty fight and happy I have you here to also help me threw this or else I would really be screwed and not in good way!

aww jen jen you have EVERY right to be happy, sad mad whatever your head and heart are feeling. This is normal babygirl! I remember when i went through this with my mum in novemeber. I have alot of guilt because of my anger BUT i realize i was just upset because she did not take care of herself better and other things. ITS OKAY and you know we love you here

PS I am NOT dressing up as a man again to well hmm screwdriver you LOL
LOVEEEEEEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUU SIS!

Jenny sweetie, I think the way you're feeling is pefectly natural - you're on an emotional rollercoaster all day every day at the moment.

No one thinks badly of you for having negative feelings - if you didn't now and then, it would be a problem.

Your Dad is hard to care for by the sound of it, probably because he's on his own rollercoaster. But you're still there for him aren't you?

Remember to breathe - lots of slow deep breathing - and just let yourself feel what you feel. Acting on it a whole other story, but if you try and suppress your feelings in an attempt to feel what you "should", it'll be hard to stay supportive.

So check in here, moan, whine, complain, rant, bytch, whatever you need. And don't ever worry about what we think - we can do next to nothing for you, so let us do the little we can and listen and support you.

Hang in there.

OK it's been a long long time so keep up with this if you can!

OK since the last time I posted, let's see, my dad has 8 tumors in his body
Cancer head to toe
diabetes
let me see what I am missing
OK he was in the hospital 60 days or more Monday (that just past) he got the OK to come home being he has only days left well that was short lived Wednesday he fell out of bed (we have no idea how) it turns out he has another stroke he has 4 blood clots, he was rushed back to the hospital, he has bleeding in his head (which is from the stoke I assume) he cut open his leg, we finally made the arrangements to send him into hospice (he has no idea about any of this being he is in a coma state) he is going tomorrow, oh yeah I also forgot to tell you about the time he was in the hospital and feel broke his arm, he needed surgery on that...let me see, I know I am forgetting so much, oh yeah he has bed sores, wait there is more, he has a kidney infection due to the catheter being in to long, are you keeping up so far?
There is so much more but I think you get the point of what I have been dealing with these last few months on my own being due to all the stress my mother is having a nervous breakdown and can not handle any of this.

I can not wait for this all to be freaking over!

Jenny,

I'm really so terribly sorry that your father, you, and your family, all have to go through this awful nightmare.

There's been so much cancer in my family. I completely understand what you are going through right now.

I'm thinking of you and praying that God sends you strength and courage in the time ahead and that He keeps your father from feeling pain.

God bless you all


(((( hugs ))))

jeeze louise, sweetie.

I'm so sorry for all this.

Great big hugs.

My dad entered Hospice yesterday afternoon, he has days left the most they give him is 2 weeks, he has bleeding in his brain 4 more blood clots and is now only on morphine nothing else, and is not eating. This is the best thing for him and a decision that I had no other choice but to make but did not make it alone, I had friends telling me hospice for months, but my mom wouldn't hear it, but after what happened last Wednesday she finally opened up to the idea and he is being well taken care of now!!!

I'm soo sorry, Jenny! :(
:bighug: (I wish I could give it to you for real!)

Jenny ~HUGZ~

I'm so so sorry you are going through all of this!!! Just know you have plenty of people here that care about you!

I'm sorry Jen. :( Hospice will be a wonderful blessing for your Dad, and you and your family.

Sending lots of prayers your way..

Just lost my dad in September, so I feel for you sweetie. :(

Thinking of you....:bighug:

thoughts and prayers..

Thank you for the well wishes and prayers, it truly means a lot!

may there be peace for you. (((((jenny)))))

Wendy

My dad entered Hospice yesterday afternoon, he has days left the most they give him is 2 weeks, he has bleeding in his brain 4 more blood clots and is now only on morphine nothing else, and is not eating. This is the best thing for him and a decision that I had no other choice but to make but did not make it alone, I had friends telling me hospice for months, but my mom wouldn't hear it, but after what happened last Wednesday she finally opened up to the idea and he is being well taken care of now!!!

Oh Jenny, I am so sorry. What a difficult decision but the right one. :bighug:

My dad is not expected to make it threw the weekend, today he could not even open his eyes. Now I have not seen my dad since last Friday, now this is probably my last time to ever see my dad alive again, because he is in such bad shape my mom and rest of my family are telling me not to go and see him, they don't want my last memory of him to be like this. But I also know that not being able to say goodbye to him and that I love him (even though he will 1. have no idea who I am 2. be able to respond or understand my words) will be something I might regret for ever and I will not get a second chance to do it over.

Now keep in mind, I have never dealt with any type of death before in my life, I hate hospitals I can't stand to see sick people (especially the one's I love) and seeing my dad like this (dying slow and painfully the last 3 months) has been the hardest thing in my life. I just want to know what you all think. I've asked friends I've talked to family they all know me and know what I want to hear and know what is best for me, but being you all are strangers and do not know me or my situation maybe you can help me decide what is best!

Thanks!

Go say goodbye to your dad in person. Hold his hand and talk to him. It's your last chance to do this.

Several months ago, my YM drove all the way to Florida to say goodbye to his grandfather the week before he passed away. His grandfather didn't talk very much but he enjoyed seeing and hearing my YM, and especially holding his hand.

Closure is good. Even though your dad looks sick, you have your memories of the good days and hopefully many pictures of him too. But I feel that you will feel badly later on if you are not there for your dad at the end. He was there for your birth, be there for him at the end. Don't be afraid of the end of life, it just makes us cherish living more.

Hugs,
miu

Jenny, I am so absolutely sure that he knows that you love him.
Do what YOU can handle and what you NEED to do for you!!!
He isn't there, at this very moment, in the way that he could, from what you've said, allow you too see that he hears you.
{{{{{{{Jen}}}}}}}
Brightest Blessing and Peace in this moment
TD

Thank you TD and MIU, I just got off the phone with a good friend and he pretty much said the same that Miu did and I am gonna go and say my goodbye's on Saturday (the only day I can) I just pray that he makes it to then, it doesn't seem that far away but when you're told he can go at anytime from here on out, it kinda makes me want to rush the days!

TD is right though, don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I felt that you wanted to say goodbye to your dad, but it was your family suggesting that you don't. This is your last chance to thank him for being your dad.

I believe that even if he is in a coma, his spirit will be able to sense and register your presence and what you say to him. And personally, if I had to choose only one option, I would rather say goodbye to someone that is still breathing, than go to their funeral service, or cry at their grave.

Jenny, I would go see him. Even though you think he can't hear you and won't know you are there, I believe that on some level he does indeed know and can hear you say you love him.

There is a wonderful book I just read concerning these situations compiled by hospice workers. I highly reccomend reading "Final Gifts". My heart goes out to you!

Jenny, I would go see him. Even though you think he can't hear you and won't know you are there, I believe that on some level he does indeed know and can hear you say you love him.



I agree. And i know how hard it is. My mom was my best friend, and i went to visit her in a nursing home almost every day for 6 weeks. The last 2 weeks she was pretty much dying, and it was absolutely horrible. I was even on medication and still could hardly take it, but i wanted to see her and at least have those last few minutes each day.

I was not there when she passed, but i had seen her the day before, and told her that i loved her and held her hand. You do need to do what's best for yourself...and only YOU know what that is. *hugs*

Jen, my grandma had cancer, and she lingered in a coma state for several weeks. I went to see her, but I didn't talk because, well, she was in a coma and she couldn't hear me.

A couple days later a couple members of my family were in my grandmother's room talking/bickering (distastefully I might add) about who would get a ring of my grandmother's. Do you know, my grandma opened her mouth and said "give _____ the damned ring"!!!

My grandma did not pass away until my mother went in the room and talked to her and told her it was okay to go....it was okay to leave. So between that, and similar things I have heard from other people, and also having cared for a coma patient in my past, I definitely do believe on some level they do know that you are there.

I, too, don't wish for you to do anything that will make you too uncomfortable, but also I don't want you to have any regrets...

I'm truly very sorry about your Dad, Jen....and I'll pray for you and your family.

Jen, hun, go see him. I think its silly for people to say things like "you don't want to remember him that way" as though a single visit at a time when he is not himself, will wipe away years of wonderful memories when he was healthy, happy and vigorous. On the other hand, you will always regret not getting to say goodbye. I wish you both a peaceful time together.

Thank you all so much for helping me, its been a long time since I first started my "sick father" thread and its been a crazy long and out of control summer, filled with a lot of things changing in my life, some for the best some for the worse, I have lost mostly all of my friends because of this, (they got mad when I did not want to hang out or spend so much time with them. My favorite is the friend that told me to see a shrink if I wanted to "talk about my dying father so much") I have grown closer to my family and made more friends who do care for me and respect me and who will be here for me threw this. I just can't believe from June till now all of this happened, to think that when I first started this thread there was still some hope and still a chance to knowing that in a short time I will no longer have a dad. Knowing he will not be at my wedding with me when I have kids, no longer having him there to help me or teach me. It's still so hard to believe and its so hard to admit to myself what is really happening but it is!

I am going to see my dad, and I just pray that he can hold on until Saturday morning. I know that I will never be able to live with myself knowing that he passed and that I did not see him one last time. Although I do remember the last thing I said to him, I said I love you Tom (this is my step dad [no relationship with birth father he is the one who raised me[) goodbye I'll see you soon!

Anyway, just wanted to say thanks again, I'm happy I came back because I know that i could not have done this alone even though threw most of the hard parts i did have others there for me, it still feels good to be back and have help from others...

Thanks Jennifer

jen... wishing you strength and peace.
i am glad to read you will go, i think it is the right decision. he will know you are there. let him know how grateful you are for his being in your life.

*hugs* I know what you are going through. It's so hard. Bless you dear.

Great big hugs and sending lots of strength vibes your way, sweetie.

I went today with one of my friends (who is in NY to see me) and I said my goodbyes. I feel better now! Friday we got a call from the Hospice social worker saying that now is the best time for everyone to come and say there goodbyes being he will most likely not make it threw the weekend. So I went, I was already told what to expect when I walked in, wow, let me tell you! Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. He was already gone, skin and bones, (in a matter of 8 days since I saw him last), he was just wow, not even him! Tomorrow me and my mom are meeting with the funeral home to go over plans and what we want being it will most likely be happening soon! I am just happy that I went and I said I love you and goodbye, even though I could not be in the room alone, (I don't know it's kinda funny I just kept getting this thought in my head he is gonna just open his eyes and wake up and be Tom again, be my dad and walk out of there, than he kept moaning out in pain, and I thought he's gonna die and I'm gonna be alone in here with him I don't want that!) So I was not in the room alone, but I did what I had to do and I feel better for it!

i am glad toat you got to say your goodbye. it is such a hard experience.

I'm glad you got to say your goodbye!
Remember him like the person he was before he got sick and tresure the good time you had with him!

Jen, I'm glad you got to see him and have that moment with him. I'm thinking of you and your family this weekend and sending you thoughts of courage and strength.

I'm glad you got a chance to go say goodby. I'll be thinking of you and your family. HUGS!

Today we went (me and my mom) to the funeral home we made all our arrangements and we got the urn and we planned the whole thing, the only thing left is the flowers and that we can do at anytime, I have to say for a funeral it is very nice, the whole thing is gonna look really good and we got a lot of blue which is his favorite color and nice prayers (well not prayers but sayings that made us both cry) and a bunch of other stuff that I know he would have loved. When he passes I will be the one to identify the body being my mom doesn't want to do it and we don't want anyone else doing it, he will be cremated and at the wake will only be his ashes not a casket or anything being my mom gets freaked out and can't deal with caskets, ( they do not bother me, but my mom almost passes out at the funeral home looking at them she hates them)...anyway that is it for now and I will keep everyone posted if anything should happen!

I'm so glad you went, and you feel good about going. :) I really did think in later years you might regret it if you didn't.

I understand about your mom and the casket thing. I don't do well at funerals with open caskets. It seems like every time I think about that person later, I always go back to that memory of seeing them in casket. :(

I'm sure the service is going to be beautiful. ((hugs)) to you.

Jenny,
I know exactly what you are going through...my beloved brother passed away this July (while I was on my honeymoon in Italy), and I didn't gt to say my goodbyes. I'm so glad you were able to do that, and so sorry you and your mom are having to deal with this heartbreak.

I unequivicably HATE cancer... two brothers of mine had it (one a survivor), and my father.

I am praying for you and your mom as you go through this difficult time of having to make decisions you don't even, under "normal" circumstances, should even have to. God bless you and your mom, honey...
Karen

Thank you special K, I'm sorry about your brother and the fact you didn't get a chance to say goodbye, but I am sure he knows that you loved him and that you are happy and really that is all that matters. I know that my dad had no clue I was there but I know that he would want me and my mom to be happy and continue to be strong and go on with life and just take him with us like we will. It's gonna be so weird not having him around anymore but at least he'll be out of pain and out of this position he is in now. Me and my mom have already decided to donate most of the money we got from selling our old house and we are also donating money to the hospice place and other cancer organizations and families who can not afford help to treat there loved ones, I know that this was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life and I wish this on no one and I want to help those that need it and give to those that offer help like the hospice place my dad is at. Those people are amazing and have taken excellent care of my father!

what a tribute to your father to make those donations. it will help so many...