Birthday gift for my older woman - fun thread

I understand this isn't a relationship thread exactly but I know we'll dip into some of those subjects.

First off I'm 21 and my baby doll is 46. She has a birthday coming up and I'm in a bit of a situation. For every birthday, Christmas, Valentines day or any chance I get I've bought her jewelry for the last two and a half years we've been together. Thats what a stable 40-something man would have done right? A man who is financially stable at her age would be doing the same thing. The problem is I'm not supposed to be financially stable at my age and aftering bothing being in debt for her past presents along with recent "reformatting" at my work, I'm broke.

I guess I could find her a nice little something for around $100, I know she'll understand but thats going to be hard for me. I know I'm going to start getting these feelings of me not being man enough for her or the man she should have at her time in life.

Maybe I should find someone giving out free kittens and tie a bow around it's neck, lol.

First, most OW understand that the financial situation of a YM starting his professional career cannot be compared with a guy who has been there for 20 years. So, do not try to match the material deeds an older man can.
Financial wealth is normally not in the top 5 of a woman dating a YM.

However, being in debt is a different thing. It is a no-no. Restructure your expenses and work overtime or whatever you need to get out of debt. Put all those credit cards in a safe hard-to-reach place.

Having said that, the fun part... the present!

Parfume, scented body lotion (my favorite), a fancy jewelry box for all the jewelry you gave her, a purse (another favorite of mine), a set of scented candles for a romantic evening (mmmMMMmmm).

I agree, I would never want my YM getting into debt for the sake of a gift and I totally understand that he's in a different place financially due to his age. For my birthday this year he got me some books which I had been wanting to read for a while. But yes, scented candles, perfume, lotions - all those things would be welcomed by most women I imagine :)

Jewelry is nice, but not my favorite pick for gifts.

She's a big girl, she surely understands tight money times. Heck, if David spent tons on gifts for me, I'd beat him. This year for my birthday, I got a statue of an angel, sitting on a pedastal, with his wings unfurled. It's beautiful. I collect angels, and he always tries to find one completely different than any I have. One year it was one made on stained glass, and it has a leaded figure of the archangel slaying the dragon. How cool is that?

Trust me. Anyone can do jewelry. That's a copout gift in my opinion. Same with roses. Make an effort. Show me that you KNOW me, that you understand me. That's what a real gift is all about.

What's she into? Say she likes theater. Find her some really cool piece of memorabelia from her favorite play, Ebay, antique shops, whatever. Make the effort to get into her brain, and surprise her with seeing stuff about her, that makes her special. Think. You can do that stuff for not a lot of money.

Show me that you KNOW me, that you understand me. That's what a real gift is all about.



I agree totally, gifts aren't about the money, they're about showing you care:yes:
A couple of years ago Streff gave me the CSI computer game for my birthday. It didn't cost a fortune, but I am a huge csi fan so it was very cool, and Streff made up this whole CSI play/puzzle for me where I came in and my son was lying on the flooor with ketchup on his head playing the "victim".
I had to follow the clue's, which each led to another clue, until finally it led to my gift.
The game itself was cool, but it was the thought and effort that went into the presentation that blew me away, it was hilarious, fun, and more than anything, it showed how well he knew me :)
I have no interest in jewellery, and it honestly wouldn't impress me, but originality and imagination like that is priceless.
Why try to mimic what you think an older man would do? You're girlfriend chose you, not an older man, so do something in keeping with your age and personality, and I'm sure your gf will be thrilled.
(oh, and sexy underwear always goes down well;))

I agree with coming up with something that says you know her. For instance, I used to own horses when I was growing up. If someone gave me some horseback riding lessons or just some time on a horse I would be thrilled. Do you know her well enough to rekindle memories of things she used to enjoy doing but hasn't made the time for? Think...think...think....:)

I was in a similar situation recently, although it was me on the giving end for my YM, and me with no money. I'm a teacher, so he's used to this. :)

I went thru all our pics from the last 3 years and made a cd of them, took the cd to target and printed out about 50 pics. I grouped them by event, put them in order, and made a scrapbook of them, complete with the themed paper and stickers, etc. This is SOOOO not me. I'm not a scrapbooker and felt totally inept going into one of those scrapbooking stores. However the people there were really nice and helpful, it turned out great, and it made him cry! He told me it was the best, nicest present anyone ever gave him. And it only cost me about $50.

Romantic gifts are sometimes not expensive...

For instance, for my birthday we were flat broke... he was out of work...he'd squirreled away a few bucks and gotten the book I had wanted in hardback... OMG was I excited...

And when I walked in the door from my train, candles light the entire house...there were pink balloons on my birthday chair at the table... a good meal was cooked and he had 3 beautiful flowers in a vase for me...a wonderful sappy card, and then he had a funny one for me as well...

I can honestly say it was the best birthday ever...

He thought about what I liked... soft light, home cooked meal, my favorite color being pink... and he put it all in a package for me...wonderfully romantic, thoughtful and just plain right...

Maybe an older man would have showered me with more pricey crap...it can't compare with the fact he thought about ME and then made a plan... it wasn't the easy plan (I mean he cooked for goodness sakes, cleaned, wrapped my gift, set a nice table, lit 40 or so candles without lighting the house on fire...lol) but he worked to make my day extra special ...

Ok.. have to go call him...

-F

Jewelry woundn't be my first pick either.
What does she like?
For me, a gift certificate for a day spa or a good massage is always a welcome gift :D
A hard to find book is very thoughtful. Like maybe her favorite book as a child.
A night of loving, rose petals as a path to the destination. Good food, wine, etc... once destination is reached.
Just think about who SHE is and go from there.
Blessings, TD

The best part of my last birthday was that I got to spend it with my YM! We are in a LDR. I had a ton of gifts, most of which I am not sure would appeal to too many other woman my age. They included a videogame, some action figures and a book of artwork by one of our favorite artists. My YM goes for quantity and sadly half of my stuff is still in his apartment 1200 miles away. But the things I am really going to remember (in part because he always goes so overboard on the gifts) are not the presents, but the 28 spankings, the hilarious card and him singing Happy Birthday as he carried in the cake with a question mark candle on it. BEST birthday I've had in 20 years!! :feest013:

"Older men give gifts of jewelry" and that's what they're "supposed" to do?

Nah.. I don't know... as an older woman, jewelry isn't so much of an interesting thing. We've already got that kind of stuff, usually what we bought ourselves, or have gotten as gifts over the years. But if your OW is like me, jewelry just seems "materialistic" or I don't know... a waste of money? I'm not expressing well, but it's not very important to me. When I was younger, I was more interested in getting cool jewelry for myself or from someone else.

These days, yeah... something that is romantic and shows you put some thought into it is better and going to impress me more. When I first read your post about older men supposed to be buying jewelry, I was thinking that's really just a lazy thing to do - the jewelry that gets given by the older man are usually whatever the salesperson was successful at getting you to buy because it's the higher price, and the more money an older man has, he's likely to just take whatever the salesperson picks out.

Now if the older man really put some thought into choosing the jewelry for a specific reason, and the jewelry has a specific meaning attached to it, that's different. But in my experience either the older man doesn't even remember to buy something at all, or they just don't put any thought into and just have this idea that they have to get *something* so they won't get into trouble for forgetting.

But smaller, inexpensive gifts that really show you put some thought into it really make the bigger and more lasting good impression.

I haven't actually been on the receiving end of gifts for my birthday (except twice - and those were jewelry gifts chosen in the manner described above, and at the behest of well-meaning friends who reminded the husbands that they should do something for my birthday), so I can't give you any good examples, but I'll give you an idea based on something I have done for HIM.

On Valentine's day, I knew I was FINALLY pregnant. I had a romantic dinner set with candles and something sweet for desert. I had a bubble bath waiting for him when he came home (with candle lit bathroom, too - the plan was to ..ahem... give him the bath myself, not just push him in there). And then I had gone to Goodwill (because we didn't have much money) and I bought little baby clothes that had hearts on them. I hung them up on a string behind the dinner table to make it look like a clothesline. As I recall, each of the pieces of baby clothing cost me $0.50.

And then I got all nicely dressed up, too, so that when he came home from work, all that was set and I greeted him at the door.

The reason I incorporated the baby things was because I knew how important it was for him to be a father and we had already tried so hard and waited 7 years to become pregnant. So when I knew for sure that I was pregnant, I gave him the good news on that Valentine's Day.

Okay, he wasn't impressed with any of it and he kind of just walked away. But I can guarantee you if your OW is in love with you and you go through any kind of effort like that - even though the actual monetary cost of it is so little - she'll be IMPRESSED!

Oh and you can do a romantic thing at a Bed & Breakfast for a night, too. If you have any in your area, they may not be too expensive for one night, and that can already have been set up romantically by the B&B owners so you don't have to do too much. B&B stays are usually romantic and cozy. I'd love it if my YM surprised me with a night out to a place like that. Around here in San Francisco - one of the #1 tourist spots in the world - it's pretty expensive ($175 a night or more), but I know there are some places that are far less expensive and still really nice.

Whats her favorite things to do?? Her passions..If you can find something that has to do with that OOH LALALA