im done with younger men

good bye and good luck ya all with all your relationships. I put in 3 years with my ym and decided to call it quits. I allowed too much verbal abuse plus I got tired of always being aware of every line on my face as the months passed. I realize this is not an issue with all ladies out there.
I just met a great guy my age and feel 'young' with him. Feels damn good. This was a great site for these past 3 years.. I hope everyone finds true happiness T:yes:hank you for all your great support. cheers, klahaniegal

good bye and good luck ya all with all your relationships. I put in 3 years with my ym and decided to call it quits. I allowed too much verbal abuse plus I got tired of always being aware of every line on my face as the months passed. I realize this is not an issue with all ladies out there.
I just met a great guy my age and feel 'young' with him. Feels damn good. This was a great site for these past 3 years.. I hope everyone finds true happiness T:yes:hank you for all your great support. cheers, klahaniegal

Good luck, klahaneigal, and much happiness! But you do realize that there's no rule that says you HAVE to leave, right? ;)

What Chatter says... you can be same age or single, you can stay. :)
I am glad you are happy!

i rest my case. What a great bunch of folks on here!

Good luck, klahaneigal, and much happiness! But you do realize that there's no rule that says you HAVE to leave, right? ;)

What Chatter says... you can be same age or single, you can stay. :)
I am glad you are happy!

I'm in agreement with both sentiments!

In fact I don't know why you think you should go? Being in an AGR isn't the reason people should stay. It's just the driving reason people find this place!

I'm thrilled you're happy. In the end that's all that matters in this world. Happiness can never be in short supply! :o

But if you feel like you need to move on I'm a supporter of that. Just make sure you fill your glass with an extra dose of happiness for the rest of us!

Yep. I'm with these ladies. Stay and continue to offer your words of wisdom.

i rest my case. What a great bunch of folks on here!

DOn't leave us then we will sit and wonder how you are how this new guy is and if Elmo will one day be president...NO NO dont go!! STAY!

Don't make us beg..its not nice:tongue2::p

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

being aware of the lines on you r face? not good, not important, glad you are happy, and yes stay please xx i only just got here and people are leaving lol

what a nice gang..here is my new single avatar

I agree - stay - and i also can relate to how you feel about the other issues.

I'm single and i still come here. I miss it too much when i dont check in every day :)

Glad you are happy!

what a nice gang..here is my new single avatar

youre very pretty and look like lots of fun

xx

what a nice gang..here is my new single avatar

YOU IS A HOT MAMACITA! hehe HUGS:tongue2:

I'm glad you found someone new. Your YM sounded very difficult; I'm not sure it would have mattered how old he was. Glad life is better!

I'm sorry it didn't work out, klahaniegal. I do wish you all the very best and hope that you will come back here from time to time and update us on your life.

Best wishes with the new guy!! :yes:

Just a note to say that I orginally came when I was in an age gap relationship that lasted about 3 years as well. It was fantastic when it was ... and then it ended.

But during that time I met so many wonderful friends, men and women, that I still stayed all this time because of all the neat people here. In fact, some of my best friends are people I've met here.

Do stay and enjoy the great people ... I don't believe there are a lot of sites where you can find a mostly, lol, good bunch of peeps.

Congrats on the new fella too ...

princessdy :0

I feel the same way Princess, this is a great site and after all these years, I couldn't dream of not being here and knowing how my friends are doing.
Not sure if I will ever be with a y/m again either though.
I'm having too much fun with a man who knows what it was like being a child of the 60's. Even though he was a country boy and I was a city girl we have much in common just coming from the same time period. We also have enough differences that we can share with each other. I love his country and he is "curious" about my city.
Just me, but I am in no way knocking ow/ym.........sharing those worlds together can be beautiful too. I know, I was there for a very long time.
Blessings, TD

Its the same case with me :) I came here when I was in love with an older lady, but it was all over a couple of months ago...I still check out this wonderful site. Coming here is a learning experience as I read the post of the ladies and hope to understand them, and try to transform myself into a better human being...someone who can make his love happy forever, someone whose girlfriend and love will never leave :)

I am not one who thinks men should abuse women. Her YM may have been abusive to every woman he had contact. A thousand words will not explain love. To find one, just one person, that love for and from is equal; makes the other things in life bearable. If you give up on YM, please do not give up on love. I wanted what I could not find. I found one but the lifestyle differences were not reconcilable.

I joined this site in mid-2006 (a few months before I became involved with T; i.e. during my decision-making phase) and I visit periodically whenever I need to get my feet back down on terra firma. It has proven to be quite useful for me in my first (and hopefully only) relationship with a YM. "Only" - not because he is a YM but because he is an amazing man with whom I would really like to share the rest of my life. (Wow! I am not admitting that to him - not as yet! He would love to hear it - but I am desperately trying to go slowly.)

BTW, I do believe that an OW may also be quite aware of her age even when she is romantically involved with an OM. There are some OM who trade in their OW for younger models and others who make their appreciation/desire for YW known to their OW. In these scenarios, the OW also become keenly aware of the aging process. My take on it is simple - the quality of a relationship and the way an OW feels about herself with her partner are not determined just by the "age" factor.

just an update: My ym stalked me relentlessly this past month, so much that i had to get the police involved. He is to have no contact at all with me. What a shame it has come to this. Obsession and love and 2 different things for sure.

How old is the YM? What was your age gap? Do you think that he will respect the restraining order? Good luck and be safe with his continued obsessiveness.

Wish things could have worked out for you but hey who is to say this isn't your blessing? Sometimes we try to hold on to the things that God himself is trying to tear apart.

just an update: My ym stalked me relentlessly this past month, so much that i had to get the police involved. He is to have no contact at all with me. What a shame it has come to this. Obsession and love and 2 different things for sure.

Wow, I hope it isn't affecting this with your new guy. Be very cautious, sweetie!! Obsession can be a dangerous thing - as we recently found out here with another member's friend who was killed by her husband.

Keep in touch so we know you are OK!!

So, on a lighter note, how'd you meet your new guy?? :D

BTW, I do believe that an OW may also be quite aware of her age even when she is romantically involved with an OM. There are some OM who trade in their OW for younger models and others who make their appreciation/desire for YW known to their OW. In these scenarios, the OW also become keenly aware of the aging process. My take on it is simple - the quality of a relationship and the way an OW feels about herself with her partner are not determined just by the "age" factor.

Its interesting that you mention this, because this reasoning is exactly what kept me and my YM together. Prior to getting married, when I explained to him that I was worried about looking older than him, or that he'd lose interest in me as I aged over the years, he told me that I would probably feel exactly the same way if I was with a man my own age - especially since there are so many men out there that go thru a "mid-life crisis" and want to trade their "old" relationship for a fling with a youngin'! He made me realize that my issues with my age and/or aging would be there, no matter what the age of my partner.

I won't lie - its been something that has been hard for me to accept, and the desire to remain young looking has driven me to spend a little chunk of money this year at the dermatologist (Botox and Juviderm have now become part of my life!).....my impending 40th birthday is not something I'm looking forward to! However, the issue with aging is my own - and I am so glad that I didn't just bail out of fear that my YM would lose interest in me. Truth is, he is turned on by the fact that I am older - has even told me that if I were his age, he probably would be less interested. I'm beginning to see myself through his eyes - and he is such a good husband that I really would have missed out on something if I had gotten rid of him just because I was worried about looking older.

just an update: My ym stalked me relentlessly this past month, so much that i had to get the police involved. He is to have no contact at all with me. What a shame it has come to this. Obsession and love and 2 different things for sure.

Not attempting to hijack this thread by any means, but I think that this is a warning for me as well.

I had met another man while I am still with my YM and had in fact told my YM about that other one. He wouldn't hear of it.

Well, this is because my YM had told me over and over again that he does not contemplate marriage, and that he was honest with me from the very beginning. ( we are together for over 7 months now ), but, he always added that he would not stand in my way if I found someone else who would be willing to marry me.

So, I honestly thought that it would be alright with him if I met someone else which I did just over a month ago ( online :innocent:) who did want to marry me but guess what ? my YM was extremely shocked. :mad:. He thought that I would just get married, not through being involved with anyone per se. How naive can one be, I wonder . . . !

I am still with the both of them and I plan to leave my YM sometime in the near future and be with the other man, who by the way is also younger than me but not that much younger ( 8 vs 26 years difference )

Although this is all new to me and I feel a bit weird being in this love-triangle if you would, I still need my YM not just for sex which I can honestly do without, but also because he's helping me financially and I still like him as a friend.

I hope nothing as bad will come out during and after my transitional period to this other phase in my life, which I intend to take when both of us ( my new man and myself ) are ready which will be in about 6-9 months

Be strong itsallgood and stand for what you believe is right for you.

Good luck

Edited to add that my 26 year younger man thought that the ideal arrangement for me when I pointed that I do not exactly fancy being alone in my older years would be to live with my kids ( who are 21 and 25 years old and are thousand of miles away at the moment studying) then I won't have to wait for any man to marry me in order not to be by myself.
And all the while I thought it was my life and I can do whatever I please with it. Go figure

I think the stalker thing is overplayed somewhat. When a man is going to be violent, there are signs all along the way that people miss. I want to make clear that when an ex speaks to you, it's not a sign they are going to go over board.

But, then again, there are some that do....

When you tell a guy that you don't want to talk to him anymore, that his behavior is upsetting to you and please do not contact you anymore and he continues to do so, this is stalking, with or without violence. My exym stalked me to the point I had to get an RO and then it was still ugly for a while. I have two cd's full of messages left on my voicemail, threatening me, calling me names, then begging me to take him back. It was a very unstable and unsettling situation. Once he discovered Rob was in the house, though, he started backing away, although he still calls on occasion.

And Ali, I love ya, but there aren't always signs if a guy is going to be violent. I met a lady in my domestic violence support group whose husband was perfect before they were married. There were no outward signs at all that he was going to do the things he'd done to her. There were no signs in private between the two of them that his behavior was going to be violent and controlling. The day after they got married, he snapped and she put up with three years of serious abuse before she got away and even then he tracked her down to the safe house and shot out its windows. One truly never knows until it's too late with this types of psychos, jmo.

I allowed too much verbal abuse plus I got tired of always being aware of every line on my face as the months passed.

Can I ask a question?

Did you feel more aware of that as a result of his verbal abuse, or was it just that you were with a YM?

I wonder because it would be a good example of how having a YM doesn't make you feel younger, which is often an accusation levelled at women who are with them... that they 'just want to feel younger'.


Edit: it's good to hear you got out of the relationship and are happy. :)

this guy is scary to me as he does not understand "no" He has no respect for my boundaries. It is all about him. He has taken to calling my sister and pestering her now. I have seen his passive/aggresive behavior for a long time ie: punching holes in walls when he doesnt get his way. The final straw for me was when he showed up at my work place asking why i dont answer my phone cuz he has filled my voicemail with threatening calls. My coworkers heard him call ME A F**CKING C**T before he left. Embarassing or what? The cops heard his messages on my phone and said it IS harrassment for sure.
By the way, The other man i was going to meet didnt happen. I decided i dont need to get involved yet in another relationship. thanks everyone for caring.. cheers

When you tell a guy that you don't want to talk to him anymore, that his behavior is upsetting to you and please do not contact you anymore and he continues to do so, this is stalking, with or without violence. My exym stalked me to the point I had to get an RO and then it was still ugly for a while. I have two cd's full of messages left on my voicemail, threatening me, calling me names, then begging me to take him back. It was a very unstable and unsettling situation. Once he discovered Rob was in the house, though, he started backing away, although he still calls on occasion.

And Ali, I love ya, but there aren't always signs if a guy is going to be violent. I met a lady in my domestic violence support group whose husband was perfect before they were married. There were no outward signs at all that he was going to do the things he'd done to her. There were no signs in private between the two of them that his behavior was going to be violent and controlling. The day after they got married, he snapped and she put up with three years of serious abuse before she got away and even then he tracked her down to the safe house and shot out its windows. One truly never knows until it's too late with this types of psychos, jmo.

Did this lady tell you how fast she got married to her hubby? That in itself is a sign. Also, you show me a perfect man and I'll show you a liar.

Ali

Did this lady tell you how fast she got married to her hubby? That in itself is a sign. Also, you show me a perfect man and I'll show you a liar.

Ali

Actually, you show me a perfect man and I'll show you a woman who's not being fricking realistic, because you can bet it's a woman saying he is. NO ONE is perfect. The best we can hope for, men OR women, is that we acknowledge our flaws and work on them.