Have you always been attracted to older/ younger partners...

You must forgive me my questions as this whole scene is quite new to me and I am trying to get my head around it all. I have always admired men younger than me but never seriously thought about having a relationship with one as I thought that emotionally we would be at quite different places and times in our lives, so it has quite taken me by surprise that we seem to be at about the same level. Perhaps that is why I haven't dated for so long, the men my age, or an 'appropriate' age just don't interest me, even more confusing is, when I was in my early to mid 20's I had a 3 year relationship with a man more than 20 years my senior. My marraige was a difference of only 7 years so perhaps that is why it didn't work, I used to find much older men more ttractive, now it is younger men. What are you stories/ thoughts?

You must forgive me my questions as this whole scene is quite new to me and I am trying to get my head around it all. I have always admired men younger than me but never seriously thought about having a relationship with one as I thought that emotionally we would be at quite different places and times in our lives, so it has quite taken me by surprise that we seem to be at about the same level. Perhaps that is why I haven't dated for so long, the men my age, or an 'appropriate' age just don't interest me, even more confusing is, when I was in my early to mid 20's I had a 3 year relationship with a man more than 20 years my senior. My marraige was a difference of only 7 years so perhaps that is why it didn't work, I used to find much older men more ttractive, now it is younger men. What are you stories/ thoughts?

I have only dated 2 older men but the rest were always younger. Kai is the youngest I have been with ..22 year difference..BUT i love it. I get along better with men who are younger most of them..and nothing against older men But i find the younger ones less judgemental loving and caring...I am not saying this is always true...AND lots of fun!!!

I've never dated anyone, but have always liked younger men. Even in school, I liked the boys in lower grades than myself.

Only once did I find myself attracted to an older man, by 6 years, and it was not a great experience.

I consider myself to be very young at heart, so I feel I have more in common with a YM.

I've usually dated men close to my age. And I still am attracted to men that are older than me. Dating my YM was not planned, it's just that we really hit it off as friends. There weren't any other YM that I was attracted to. With my YM, we just feel like timeless adults together.

I would say that for the last ten to fifteen years at least, I haven't celebrated my birthday. Sometimes I forget how old I am. I would consider myself stuck in my late twenties/early thirties. I don't wear high heels, stockings, usually no makeup at all and live in blue jeans and a t-shirt. I also refuse to own a car with an automatic transmission. I think that driving stick keeps me young. My YM really loves that I am not a girly woman and just a no frills kind of straight forward person who speaks her mind.

If my YM and I broke up, I would not necessarily look for another YM to date. I am very open minded on the age of what men I am willing to date. As I said before, I won't date any man that is attracted to me first for my Asian looks. That I find really creepy.

I have always ended up with older men...but not because I sought them out...just because that's who I ended up with. :D

I wouldn't rule out dating a younger man...no more than I would rule out dating a man my own age.

Nadine.

I too have always dated close to my age or older. But a certain ym I dated a few years ago changed all that :tongue2:

I have always liked people who are young at heart no matter what age. This applies not only to my love and soulmate but also to my friends. My gfs are a bunch of 19 yr olds who happen to be in their 40s and early 50s.

I had one ym relationship, and one ym intense long term flirtation that went no where. My ym were vym, me in my forties they in their twenties. I do not actually recommend an age gap relationship, although I respect that there are many on this board that are serious and ongoing concerns.

Typically a new poster comes on with some version of this story: I'm in my late 30's, early 40's; divorced, and I just met this awesome younger man at my gym/job/grocery store. He's asked me to go to the movies/coffee/gaming online with him. I went and it was great/good, but he's so young! "Could this be serious?" Is the question they almost always ask. To which we all reply with some version of "listen to your heart." About 75 percent of the time the OP has decided within a few weeks that this ym wants a physical relationship more than anything else, and they either a) do it and figure he will want more later b) let it go if they are relationship hunting and c) ask us what in the Capital H is going on?

To which we should all know by now to reply that despite the HIV/AIDS fiasco, the 20 somethings now consider themselves the hookup generation, where sex is still casual. What kind of sex isn't casual? Hum? The sex you have on your wedding night? What?

The best response I can give you to this question is that when it comes to romance it's not the age: it's the person. If that person is younger than you, then it comes with a whole set of circumstances to deal with. If he's older than you the same answer. In short, no one can tell you what to do, or whom to do it with!!!! (As long as everyone is over 18, I might make sure you know that here at Ageless we do NOT condone or even answer questions when it's an adult/child relationship and not adult/adult.)

Ali

My first boyfriend was my age, my ex husband was 11 years older than me but since splitting with him five years ago everyone I have dated has been younger. They have been steadily getting younger too! My first post-marriage fling was with a guy only 2 years younger and that was purely a physical attraction thing. Then I dated a guy for six months who was 4 years younger than me, but he had enough baggage for a guy twice his age! That one got serious quickly and ended quite badly, as such relationships often do.

After that I had another fling with someone six years younger. That actually freaked me out more than any other, as (a) he failed to tell me he still lived with his parents until I left his bedroom the first morning after I had stayed over with him and ran into them (I had assumed it was a house share) and (b) when talking about football I found that we had both been on the same coach trip to a game some years before - him as a 13 year old child and me as one of the adult helpers :eek:

Now I am happily living with and engaged to a guy 11 years younger than me, and it's the best relationship I have had. There is mutual love and respect and we are on the same page with it. It's not something I expected and I certainly didn't go out seeking someone younger, but I am very happy :)

I would have to say no.

I have always dated around my age.

And nothing could have caught me more by surprise than the ym I am with now.

Sometimes it works out, others it doesn't. I will echo what others have said.

It's the person...

-F

I've usually dated men close to my age. And I still am attracted to men that are older than me. Dating my YM was not planned, it's just that we really hit it off as friends. There weren't any other YM that I was attracted to. With my YM, we just feel like timeless adults together.

I would say that for the last ten to fifteen years at least, I haven't celebrated my birthday. Sometimes I forget how old I am. I would consider myself stuck in my late twenties/early thirties. I don't wear high heels, stockings, usually no makeup at all and live in blue jeans and a t-shirt. I also refuse to own a car with an automatic transmission. I think that driving stick keeps me young. My YM really loves that I am not a girly woman and just a no frills kind of straight forward person who speaks her mind.

If my YM and I broke up, I would not necessarily look for another YM to date. I am very open minded on the age of what men I am willing to date. As I said before, I won't date any man that is attracted to me first for my Asian looks. That I find really creepy.

Miu - Get outta my head, girl!

Serioulsy, I'm the same, except that before I was in my 30's, I actually NEVER considered dating anyone younger and the thought of such would have made me just say, "YUCK! EWWWWW!"

When I was 37 and getting divorced from the guy that was calling me "fat", "ugly", "stupid", and "old", etc., some young guy of 20 or so commented about me in a very complimentary way. I remember thinking "hmm... I must not be all THAT bad if this young guy was finding me attractive." (and this young guy usually himself went for "young nubile" types - 13, 14 year olds). Hm... just rememberd this situation just now as I'm typing - first time I'm remembering it.

Anyway, most of my life, I've dated people my own age, or older - sometimes much older (e.g., 52 year old boyfriend when I was 23).

Recently, I became divorced again, and in my muslim community, nobody likes a woman to be not married, so everyone's always looking out for me to get remarried. Either someone has someone in mind for me, or they approach me themselves. Mostly, people approach me themselves, and this is the first time, now that I'm 46, that the majority of "candidates" (sorry if that's a coldhearted word - it's the only thing coming to mind at the moment), are below the age of 30, and I'd say most are about age 23 or 24.

Now this was a shock for me. At first, my reaction was still "ewwww!" But as I got to know people, I realized there was not very much of anything related to age that I didn't like - it was all personality or beliefs that were stopping me from continuing any relationship with any of them. Otherwise, I found that age was irrelevant.

Still, when I was approached by the youngest - a 21 year old (who really just had turned 20 and was afraid to tell me so), I did have the "yuck" factor going. Strangely enough, I fell for him anyway. But it had nothing to do with his looks or "youth". It had all to do with his personality and thinking that captured my heart. It is truly ageless. It's because of him that I went searching the web for more stories like ours, wondering if such a large age gap could ever work out. Then I found this site. It's helped me get over the "icky feelings which are I guess just something ingrained in me from society (there's nothing else I can attribute it to) and now I am just enjoying the most constant loving relationship I've ever had.

I still notice guys that are older, too. I think although I'm kind of the person who goes for personality anyway, but also because of being on this site, I am noticing more and more PEOPLE and not what they look like or assessing how old they are.

By the way, I fell for my guy before I even had seen what he looks like. I would have stayed in a relationship with him even if he turned out to be nothing like what most people consider "good looking", but as it happens, he turns out to be good looking, too (by most people's standards). It's someone's eyes though that get me the most - his eyes and voice. And as he tells me - the eyes never change, no matter what your age.

I have always been in to older guys 5 years my senior or older. But I just got attached to this younger guy somehow.

I'd always dated older guys, usually quite a bit older, until I met my first vym - and it's a relationship I will always regret, which is sad. The guy screwed with my head, my heart and my life and it was just not a good thing. After that I decided that I'd never go the vym route ever again...it works well for some women, just not for me. Both guys I dated after Daniel were within six years of me and that works really well for me...not that I'd ever have think about dating again because I'm going to be with Rob for the rest of my life, but if...and that's a BIG if, if I ever had to date again, I'd never date below five, ten years younger, at the most. I think we're all attracted to who we're attracted to...I think I was attracted to Rob the first time we ever spoke, we were so much alike it was scary...it took him one whole month and a lot of phone calls to actually pick up on that, lol.

By the way, I fell for my guy before I even had seen what he looks like. I would have stayed in a relationship with him even if he turned out to be nothing like what most people consider "good looking", but as it happens, he turns out to be good looking, too (by most people's standards). It's someone's eyes though that get me the most - his eyes and voice. And as he tells me - the eyes never change, no matter what your age.
Alawiy - You get outa my head girl!!

Yeah, I loved my YM way before I met him in person. We would chat on aim about travelling the universe together after we died. We were to meet on the rings of Saturn!

Three summer ago, when I finally met my YM in person, I had two other suitors. One was about 26 and the other 48. The 26 year old was trying to move in on me before I went on my planned roadtrip with my YM. He also met him and thought that I wouldn't want to date a guy that was chubby. What he didn't realize was how beautiful my YM was inside, while the 26 year old was really not nice a person, not that good looking, but trim. My YM also has a terrific smile and the nicest eyes. The 48 year old was very nice, but his personality too mellow for me. He was good at shrugging conflict off. However, I need someone who is as feisty as I am.

And about eyes, I have brown eyes, but my YM says that I have blue rings around my irises. No one has ever commented on that before. :)

Anyway, men in their early twenties still seem visually too young for me to think about sexually. On the other hand, most men seem to not have a problem sneaking a discrete lewd glance at teenage girls in skimpy clothing.

I had always dated my age, but at a certain point people start getting married and divorced etc and I was still single, holding out for that right person.

The available guys were starting to get younger than me, and given that I've been in school and working at a ski resort---well, it just sort of compounds the issue.

So I guess since I was about 29 I've been dating younger guys... not on purpose, they're just who's available and interested and interesting to me :bgrin2:

Clearly, everyone is different. I've always liked younger guys, even in school.

I don't rule out anyone based on age. It's just that younger men are more attractive to me, as well as more attracted to me than men my age or older.
Not sure what that's about. Wish I did.

At 56, there are many reasons I'd prefer men my age, but it never seems to happen.

i grew up with older sisters so her friends were always around......so well it went from there:rolleyes:

I would never have said I was attracted to younger guys, but it just occured to me, that when I was a sophomore in high school, I had the most intense crush on an eighth grader. He was actually only a year and a half younger, and, um, physically way more than 13, but still.....

We were both too chicken to do any more than intense stares across rooms, and brushing against each other walking down the halls. We did manage to always sit within a couple of seats of each other at football games and stuff.

I talked to him once as an old married lady, and him an old married man. He asked if I had realized that he'd had a crush on me. Duh. Men are so silly sometimes.

Anyway. Never older. Guys my own age. I fear I'm now forever spoiled though. David's just gonna have to stay with me.

My ex husband is 5 years older than me, and when we met when I was 17, I thought it was so great he was older. After my divorce, I dated men my age and older-- one that was 20 years older. That was definitely not a turn on for me, but I wanted to give him a shot.... definitely didn't want to rule anyone out solely based on age. It never entered my mind to date someone younger than me.....

When I met my ym, there were sparks right away. He was not honest up front about his age b/c he thought for sure I wouldn't date him. He told me he was 29, when he was actually 23. Honestly, it didn't matter to me.

Now, if anything ever happened to us, I think I'd gravitate towards younger men. I wouldn't rule anyone out, but my natural inclination would be towards younger men.

i grew up with older sisters so her friends were always around......so well it went from there

This made me giggle. My YM is also the youngest in a family of sisters. One night I was lamenting that once I moved and we really had to live together, he would discover how truly *****y I could be. To which he replied, "I had three older sisters. I can DO *****!"

To answer the OP's question, I agree with Ali. There is sort of a pattern to these stories and the relationships that seem most successful are the one's where people were not looking for an AGR. Its the person, not the age. I would love this man to pieces if he were 90!

P.S. Forgot you can't use b i t c h.

I would never have said I was attracted to younger guys, but it just occured to me, that when I was a sophomore in high school, I had the most intense crush on an eighth grader. He was actually only a year and a half younger, and, um, physically way more than 13, but still.....
When I was growing up, my favorite boy was a year or two younger than me, but so smart and interesting! He was the first person I ever knew who had an electric guitar, but he also played cello and piano. He was good with all school subjects and could also play double blindfolded chess! His family seemed wonderfully normal with their gold retriever and siamese cat. We were only friends, but I enjoyed his company and admired him very much. Sadly, when we were in high school, he skipped a grade and went off to college (Harvard) ahead of me. I met up with him once in college, he had become a linguistics major. He said that he knew 13 different languages, but that one was surmised from inscriptions on a ring and a tombstone. After that, I lost track of him.

So that boy probably caused be to really be attracted to smart people. So if my YM and I ever broke up, I would probably try to track him down to see what happened to him. Deep inside, I still have a great affection for him but I don't think that I made the same lasting impression on him.

Younger men tend to have less baggage (exwives, kids) than the men my own age, but not necessarily. But it's just a natural byproduct of life.

For me it's not a question of older/younger but what age group. When I was in high school I liked men in their early 20's and women over 30 (I'm bi) and it's never really changed. Now I'm in my late 30's and I still tend to date within that early 20's group of guys - for one, because that's who tends to like me and hit on me, and for two, because all the guys my age seem to be married. I have formed some intense crushes on men my age thru work but none of them have been single and there's no way I'd ever cross that line.

Recently I met a guy who is 18, really adorable, smart, gorgeous, has great manners - just a truly impressive person. And for the first time, I've had that visceral sense of wrongness, as in he's just too young for anything beyond friendship. I enjoy his company and I'm flattered by his crush on me, but I can't imagine myself with him physically, it just feels too wrong. I was kind of relieved to know I could feel that, to be honest. :)

Have I always been attracted to older/ younger partners and what's my story?

No. I was always attracted to men my own age. I never had any interest in older men, and I never understood anyone that did because I figured that, if I was lucky, I'd end up with an older man when I was older, but it didn't work out that way because my marriage ended.

I really thought I had married for life and I gave it my all - well for 20 years I did anyway, okay maybe 18 - so when I found myself single -- the freedom was exhilerating: the freedom from stress, the freedom from responsibility for another person, the freedom from ego-feeding, freedom from criticizing and being criticized, and so forth. I felt so happy to be free of all of the big obligations and all of the little ones: cooking, trying to please the decorating tastes of two people; traveling with a grumpy traveler, etc.

But I had one problem. I felt old and unattractive. I wanted some romantic attention and I still wasn't interested in attention from older men and, by the time I was 49/50, men my age seemed older than me, and I didn't want attention from them either. So, I thought that part of my life was finished. :( ...

THEN I FOUND AGELESSLOVE.COM *toot the horns, throw the confetti* and I learned that there were younger men that were attracted to older women and I did this, :w00t: and I looked like this :ohyes::runnningaround: :bunny_4:, and I said, "Maybe I could get me one them there younger men." and I posted my fears and I read the responses and I read other OW's stories and I soaked it all up, and then one day, I said, "I'm gonna get me one of them there younger men." and I did!

And I looked like this :D because he was sweet and wonderful and gorgeous and sexy and he was Brazillian and he danced and he loved life and he was a delight to be with. We aren't a couple anymore, but he will always hold a place in my heart because, as I told him all the time, he was the icing on my cake! He was a delicious, wonderful surprise that, if it hadn't been for the people at Ageless, I NEVER would have experienced. :)

My experience with a younger man was so totally positive that, if I were looking for a relationship, I would definitely be looking for a younger man.

That's my answer, that's my story, and here's a confession: I am 54 years old and I never had a crush on a movie/singing personality - I found them attractive and appealing, but never a crush - but I go absolutely WILD whenever I see Usher - even a PICTURE of Usher!!! - because his head and body and SMILE - oh that smile! *swoon* - are so much like the man who was my younger man that it brings back goooooood memories which make me smile like a fool and squeal like a schoolgirl whenever I see Usher! :bgrin2:

I was married for 10 years to someone 7 years older than me. I then was with another man for 7 years who was 7 years older than me.
Thing was, is that these guys have slowed down a lot. The last one would sit there and tell me what he ate, his exercise routine, what the a...ahem...results were. I couldn't take it when the 3rd one 7 years older popped up and told me how he liked to go to his private opera box and fall asleep amidst the lament of Rusalka.
This last guy I came across on an MMORG. He is not that much younger, 4 1/2 years.
I don't tend to feel realistically attracted to anyone younger than 30. When I was younger I did date a few guys 1-2 years younger. Though my father was a couple of years younger than my mother, 2 of my brothers married women 4-5 years older, and my older sister is married to a man about 4 years younger. I guess that age difference seems perfectly normal to me, and here I find myself. :tongue2:

Have I always been attracted to older/ younger partners and what's my story?

No. I was always attracted to men my own age. I never had any interest in older men, and I never understood anyone that did because I figured that, if I was lucky, I'd end up with an older man when I was older, but it didn't work out that way because my marriage ended.

I really thought I had married for life and I gave it my all - well for 20 years I did anyway, okay maybe 18 - so when I found myself single -- the freedom was exhilerating: the freedom from stress, the freedom from responsibility for another person, the freedom from ego-feeding, freedom from criticizing and being criticized, and so forth. I felt so happy to be free of all of the big obligations and all of the little ones: cooking, trying to please the decorating tastes of two people; traveling with a grumpy traveler, etc.

But I had one problem. I felt old and unattractive. I wanted some romantic attention and I still wasn't interested in attention from older men and, by the time I was 49/50, men my age seemed older than me, and I didn't want attention from them either. So, I thought that part of my life was finished. :( ...

THEN I FOUND AGELESSLOVE.COM *toot the horns, throw the confetti* and I learned that there were younger men that were attracted to older women and I did this, :w00t: and I looked like this :ohyes::runnningaround: :bunny_4:, and I said, "Maybe I could get me one them there younger men." and I posted my fears and I read the responses and I read other OW's stories and I soaked it all up, and then one day, I said, "I'm gonna get me one of them there younger men." and I did!

And I looked like this :D because he was sweet and wonderful and gorgeous and sexy and he was Brazillian and he danced and he loved life and he was a delight to be with. We aren't a couple anymore, but he will always hold a place in my heart because, as I told him all the time, he was the icing on my cake! He was a delicious, wonderful surprise that, if it hadn't been for the people at Ageless, I NEVER would have experienced. :)

My experience with a younger man was so totally positive that, if I were looking for a relationship, I would definitely be looking for a younger man.

That's my answer, that's my story, and here's a confession: I am 54 years old and I never had a crush on a movie/singing personality - I found them attractive and appealing, but never a crush - but I go absolutely WILD whenever I see Usher - even a PICTURE of Usher!!! - because his head and body and SMILE - oh that smile! *swoon* - are so much like the man who was my younger man that it brings back goooooood memories which make me smile like a fool and squeal like a schoolgirl whenever I see Usher! :bgrin2:

You know, I used to loathe smilies, but your posts, Chatter, have turned me around. You use them to such funny effect.

I started being interested in younger men in my late 30s - although I didn't realize that's what was going on until much later. I dated men about 10 years younger than me at that time, including one, who I ended up living with and having a baby with. For some reason, that never felt like a significant age difference and I didn't bat an eyelid at the time.

Then, after I became single again I was stunned to get lots of rather high quality attention from younger men - much younger - on the online dating site I frequented. The age difference was too big to ignore and that's really when it sank in that I liked men younger than me.

It's hard to say why without dealing in stereotypes and sounding like you're knocking older men. But I found younger men fun, sweet, funny, attractive, interested in stuff I'm interested in and I think if I became single again now, I would very likely look for another younger man too.

It was a bit difficult for me to embrace the idea of a relationship with a 20 year age gap, and I still sometimes find people's comments make me uncomfortable.

For instance, in February Rocco and I went to Mexico for a week. As the hotel guy was showing us our little palapa on the beach, he frowned and said, "here's the bedroom, um, are you, um, going to sleep together?" I was sort of nonplussed, but Rocco, bless his pointy little head, said "dude, of course we're sleeping together". I get better at handling this sort of thing all the time.

And to reply to the Usher frenzy - I am not a great one for crushes on celebs either. But I just watched the Wimbledon men's semis and during the Nadal Djokovic match, a friend called. I said I couldn't talk because I was watching the match and aside from the quality of the tennis, I couldn't take my eyes off Nadal who is, I think, spectacularly hot and all of 22 I believe. I am 52.

My friend laughed and said that being with Rocco has completely distorted by sense of propriety - now I'm having crushes on men young enough to be my grandson. I was like "your point being?"

I suppose that's liberation.

Yeah, liberation, that's the ticket!!!!

Excellent summation! Geez, somebody might think you're a lawyer! (Do you ever "stop" being a lawyer, bijou, or are you a lawyer for life?)

And thank you so much for this: "You know, I used to loathe smilies, but your posts, Chatter, have turned me around. You use them to such funny effect." That was VERY nice of you to say and it made my face do this :D . I appreciate kind words like a cactus does rain, and I soak them up! Thank you.

:kfluffy:


CAN I PLEASE GET A KISS ON THE CHEEK EMOTICON HERE????

Okay, here's a smoochie woochie: http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/9924/kissyface5sk.gif

Yeah, liberation, that's the ticket!!!!

Excellent summation! Geez, somebody might think you're a lawyer! (Do you ever "stop" being a lawyer, bijou, or are you a lawyer for life?)

And thank you so much for this: "You know, I used to loathe smilies, but your posts, Chatter, have turned me around. You use them to such funny effect." That was VERY nice of you to say and it made my face do this :D . I appreciate kind words like a cactus does rain, and I soak them up! Thank you.

:kfluffy:


CAN I PLEASE GET A KISS ON THE CHEEK EMOTICON HERE????

Okay, here's a smoochie woochie: http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/9924/kissyface5sk.gif



Oh go on with you.

I'm a lawyer until I resign from the Law Society (can't remember the US equivalents), which I am not going to do for a while just in case I am forced to go back. That will be the choice I make only if prostitution doesn't work out.

But that's just technical. I think in some ways, once a lawyer, always a lawyer. Law school rewires your brain, building new synaptic connections, I think, so no matter what I do, I now have lawyer brain.

You must forgive me my questions as this whole scene is quite new to me and I am trying to get my head around it all. I have always admired men younger than me but never seriously thought about having a relationship with one as I thought that emotionally we would be at quite different places and times in our lives, so it has quite taken me by surprise that we seem to be at about the same level.....

...What are you stories/ thoughts?

Hi, Mentally.

Similar to your experience, I'd always admired women older than myself.

I think the status of a woman doing "important things" always attracted me and still does. Beginning in my late teens, I learned to associate age with gravitas, with accomplishment of some type ,and I saw double-chins and bulky midriffs as a sort of feminine merit-badge of achievement, whether it signified the lady in question earning a Ph.D, or being a successful entrepreneur, or having developed her talents in any other worthwhile career.

I remember being a high school student of 16 or 17, and being utterly entranced by the substitute teacher we had that day. She must have been 37, 38 or maybe a little older. At one point, she turned her head in time to catch me staring at her and she gave a sweet smile. I honestly wanted to tear her clothes off, I was so randy... :o

Mainly from lack of self-confidence, I didn't seriously think about having such a relationship throughout my early adult years.

When I was 29, I managed to seduce my 43-year-old boss at work... and found the intimacy absolutely thrilling. I was "hooked" ever after. :D No self-confidence problems after that. I knew I could not only attract, but satisfy an older mate.

I've found that older women (at least the American variety) are often suffering their own self-confidence problems relating to a non-youthful physical appearance. More often than not, they are thrilled and flattered by the youthful male attention, but fret about "what will the neighbors/family/co-workers think?" and that sort of thing.

If a sincere young man can break through that wall and convince the right older lady that he's sincere and is aroused by her looks, he will likely be successful in wooing her.

It's a wonderful Age-Gap-World. :)

Harrison.....

......................... you're hawt!


No, seriously, I love reading what you have to say about this. You make me feel certain that younger men are actually really capable of loving us in all the important ways.

Harrison.....

......................... you're hawt!


No, seriously, I love reading what you have to say about this. You make me feel certain that younger men are actually really capable of loving us in all the important ways.


Alawiy,

Thanks for the compliment! :o LOL
Glad you enjoyed the post.

Like Kat, I was always attracted to youger men since high school and I would prefer men my own age. But it looks like it won't be happening.

That's one of the things that bring me back to Ageless is how the men are talking about the women. They are so sweet and nice. They always have a nice word to say.

Thanks Harrison. It's a post like yours that makes me think I have not gone mental yet and there is still hope for me.

I must admit I am sexually attracted to older women.

Now, I've been in love with the same lady for 13 years.


We are not together....yet.


But I have faith.


Anyhow, I'm dreaming of the day we'll be doing this....


:kfluffy:


But to answer the question, I find older women very attractive, especially the ones that are over 60. Not all of them, mind you. But I feel there's nothing sexier than a good looking, 60 year old woman.

And Sylverspice - you REALLY give me hope :) thanks for that :)

Man, I gotta get with you and find out how you can last for 13 years of not being together and still be hopeful! I'm getting so impatient and I've only been waiting 8 months!

You must forgive me my questions as this whole scene is quite new to me and I am trying to get my head around it all. I have always admired men younger than me but never seriously thought about having a relationship with one as I thought that emotionally we would be at quite different places and times in our lives, so it has quite taken me by surprise that we seem to be at about the same level. Perhaps that is why I haven't dated for so long, the men my age, or an 'appropriate' age just don't interest me, even more confusing is, when I was in my early to mid 20's I had a 3 year relationship with a man more than 20 years my senior. My marraige was a difference of only 7 years so perhaps that is why it didn't work, I used to find much older men more ttractive, now it is younger men. What are you stories/ thoughts?

Other than my ex-husband, who was 8 years older than me, I always dated men who were around my age (+/- 2-4 years). And then I fell in love with my current bf who is 18 years younger than me. I never dreamt that would be possible, but what can you do when you feel as if you've been struck by lightning?

I've dated older men, younger men... really no pattern that I can see. However, I did have a "seven year rule" - I refused to date anyone more than seven years older or younger than me. I tried to break my own rule once with a younger guy: it was just.. nope, couldn't do it! Then I tried to date a significantly older guy once and... nope, that felt too much like I was dating my own father; couldn't do that either!

And then Tim came along. Anyone who's been here for any significant amount of time can attest to the fact that, while I was very attracted to him, our age gap really creeped me out and I thought I must be some sort of perv.

Well, I'm not :) I am a red-blooded, American woman in her 40s, happily married to her British husband who just happens to be nearly 16 years younger.

I think I have always, more or less, been more attracted to older men than to guys my own age or younger. I have three siblings, two of them are nine and twelve years older than me. They used to have their friends over, and I remember having silly little crushes on my twelve year older brother's male friends since I was below the age of ten:tongue2:

My dad died when I was eight, which maybe is part of the reason I prefer older men, but that's okay. I love how happy, safe and comfortable I feel with an older partner. In school, I only had normal crushes with boys my own age, and then when I was 15 I got a big crush on a friend of my sister's boyfriend, who was 35, I never revealed it to him of course.

In high school I fell madly in love with my favorite teacher, who was 30 years older than me. We had an affair and he was my first great love, but it ended really badly. Despite how things ended, I knew I would want a middle aged man again, and today I am in an age gap relationship of 30+ once again, and so far it looks like it will have a happier ending. :D

I think I have always, more or less, been more attracted to older men than to guys my own age or younger. I have three siblings, two of them are nine and twelve years older than me. They used to have their friends over, and I remember having silly little crushes on my twelve year older brother's male friends since I was below the age of ten:tongue2:



This is interesting. I was reading once that younger men who tend to prefer older women tended to have older sisters more often than the average. Sure enough, my boyfriend has a sister my age, and I imagine that when he was a little tike and had all his sisters teenaged friends around, that he must have had a crush or two or three. :D So it's neat to see it from the OM/YW perspective too.

I would say in the last two years when I had my epiphany moment is when I started considering dating 20 years younger or more. Before that I did have a marriage and long term that were four years younger but that was about it. The thing for me now is that is what I desire - a relationship with someone younger not necessarily 20 years but younger yes. I have yet to find the certain someone to be in a relationship with. Dating yes but I am a hopeless romantic so one day heh?

But I just watched the Wimbledon men's semis and during the Nadal Djokovic match, a friend called. I said I couldn't talk because I was watching the match and aside from the quality of the tennis, I couldn't take my eyes off Nadal who is, I think, spectacularly hot and all of 22 I believe. I am 52.


21, isn't he?

His dad played for Barcelona, or was it Madrid? Anyway, he was a great sportsman too.

I missed most of Wimbledon... I managed to watch a lot of Henmans 2nd game, when he got knocked out, and that was an enthralling match. And I managed to catch some highlights and a couple of other matches in pubs. But I was on holiday in South Carolina so I missed most of it. Got back in time to watch the mens final, which was superb.

Aaaaaaaanyway...

I have always liked women of various ages. I'd 'dated' a couple of years below me and a year or 2 above me, but never anything with a significant gap. However, I always had 'things' for women that were a good bit older... I think I felt that we'd be more 'in-tune' if I ever got the chance, that older women are generally more stable. I just never thought it would realistically happen (why would an older woman be interested in me?) and left them as being crushes that would never go anywhere. This one did.

This is interesting. I was reading once that younger men who tend to prefer older women tended to have older sisters more often than the average. Sure enough, my boyfriend has a sister my age, and I imagine that when he was a little tike and had all his sisters teenaged friends around, that he must have had a crush or two or three. :D So it's neat to see it from the OM/YW perspective too.

Hmm.. my guy is one of the youngest in a family of 14 kids, so has older siblings, too (some sisters). He also has REALLY old people in the family (like one is still living at age 125). I kind of suspected that may be a factor in why he is attracted to me (I'm 27 years older than him). I wondered if it could be a trend in many age gap relationships.

This is interesting. I was reading once that younger men who tend to prefer older women tended to have older sisters more often than the average. Sure enough, my boyfriend has a sister my age, and I imagine that when he was a little tike and had all his sisters teenaged friends around, that he must have had a crush or two or three. :D So it's neat to see it from the OM/YW perspective too.
Hmmm... my YM is the middle child of three, but his older sister is about 9 years older than him Actually, hearing that he once had a crush on one of his older sister's friends started me thinking that we could be more than friends. :D

i've always been atracted to older women, not exclusively physically but emotionally and spiritually
i mean i could be physically attracted to a younger or same-age woman but honistly i have never found one i had anything remotely in common with
i have dated a few people my own age but every serious relationship (all 2 of them) have been with older women
the advantages of being married young is i don't have to spend my 20's navigating the dating scene lol

Well, since I teach high school English, I can honestly say that I have never really been attracted to ym... too much testoterone and Abercrombe in my life already.

My first husband was 7 years older and my second was 13 years older ~ those didn't work out so well, although I was married for 15 and 7 years.

My ym pursued me...I certainly wasn't looking for him and I honestly ran like hell to begin with. Then, I realized how refreshing his honestly was and how much I enjoyed being treated as though I am really special to someone and I was his.

Um....not to mention (shallowly) that he is HOT!!!!!!!!!! :)

I always dated men older than I was. My exhusband was 2 1/2 years older and the exbf after him was 4 maybe 5 years older. I dont remember...I do know that the biggest age difference was when I was in high school I was 16 and he was 22 not entirely legal but he had the maturity of a 12 year old so after date number 2 it was see ya later!

After the last exbf I was thinking "Im so tired of older men who act like they need a smack upside the head. If Im going to end up with a man who acts younger then Ill date a younger man." So I decided then and there that I would not turn away from that option anymore since before I had always laughing told younger men to go away and find a girl their own age.

Enter my now Fiance..who I swore was just a few years younger than I was but turned out to be wayyy younger. So far he is the most responsible man I have dated. Once I got over the ick factor of how young he was in comparison to how old I was, I was ok.

I believe it was these words that put things into perspective for me

"It would be a damn shame, if you give up the best thing that either one of us has ever found just because you cant get over the fact that youre not the baby of the relationship...besides..youre always gonna be MY baby."

After that I stopped fighting it and let him "catch" me. :p