Embarrassed or Still Love Em

Thou none of you know me, you may have gathered through my posts that I can be pretty straighforward, blunt and opinionated. :o There is nothing I like better than great debate and good conversation. I am much more liberal than I used to be, but definately still veer to the conservative side of most issues. My BF is much more liberal than I. He was my friend long before my BF so he watched me in heated conversations and participated in some before we were romantically involved.

Anyway, yesterday we were at a 4th of July party and the discussion turned to property taxes, public education, several hot topics. I had a great time arguing, discussing, horrifying most people there but I don't think hurting anyone of being derogatory or personal. We (the people in the group) all got along great the rest of the evening, but the discussions did get really heated at times.

After the discussions were over, I approached my BF and laughing said that I hoped I did not embarrass him with anything I said. He smiled and replied that my views are always embarrassing to him, but that it was just part of the package.

Can I take that to mean that he is cool, kind of likes that I have a mind of my own, even if it is not in line with his? I hope that is what he meant and I want it to be. In past lives I have sometimes tempered my thoughts and opinions on things in order to keep the peace, etc.

Have any of you ever been with your S/O and thought I can't believe I sleep with this idiot everyday, but I love them anyway?

Thou none of you know me, you may have gathered through my posts that I can be pretty straighforward, blunt and opinionated. :o There is nothing I like better than great debate and good conversation. I am much more liberal than I used to be, but definately still veer to the conservative side of most issues. My BF is much more liberal than I. He was my friend long before my BF so he watched me in heated conversations and participated in some before we were romantically involved.

Anyway, yesterday we were at a 4th of July party and the discussion turned to property taxes, public education, several hot topics. I had a great time arguing, discussing, horrifying most people there but I don't think hurting anyone of being derogatory or personal. We (the people in the group) all got along great the rest of the evening, but the discussions did get really heated at times.

After the discussions were over, I approached my BF and laughing said that I hoped I did not embarrass him with anything I said. He smiled and replied that my views are always embarrassing to him, but that it was just part of the package.

Can I take that to mean that he is cool, kind of likes that I have a mind of my own, even if it is not in line with his? I hope that is what he meant and I want it to be. In past lives I have sometimes tempered my thoughts and opinions on things in order to keep the peace, etc.

Have any of you ever been with your S/O and thought I can't believe I sleep with this idiot everyday, but I love them anyway?

Good Lord no - if I felt the person I was with was an idiot or found the way they handled themselves with my friends embarrassing, I'm not sure I'd be with them for much longer.

But I think you are exaggerating for the purpose of making your point with humour.

Political differences to me are an enormous issue in a relationship. I think if your politics and political values go very deep, they affect almost everything in the way you see life, the world, people, everthing. I would find it very hard to be with somneone whose "everything" was so fundamentally different from mine. I would rather be with someone apolitical.

But that is my view, not everyone's.

You don't say anything about your ym's politics, but the fact that you were friends before you became lovers suggests he knew what he was getting into.

Just a thought - is it your ideas or the way you interact with others in discussions of ideas that bother him? You say you had a good time "horrifying" people and definitely some people find that fun - others don't.

They used to go alot deeper than they do now. Before my husband died and my son died I was more involved and definately more conservative. Taking care of my husband sapped my time away and after he died I realized that politics made me angry and I did not want to be angry anymore so I gave up alot of the listening, reading that I used to do when I had the spare time.

Dealing with my son's mental and chemical problems taught me patience. It also taught me a lot about the system and how hard it is for people to navigate. It also taught me how exhausting it must be to be poor. Andrew's death taught me to be much less judgemental and more accepting of other people. You never truly know someone else's story.

I do get very passionate about topics when I debate. Sometimes I like to take the opposite side so I can learn things from people or make them defend their positions. My BF is passionate about his politics too, but I don't see it as too much of a deal breaker. I have come around to his way of thinking much more than he has of mine.

One of my best friends throughout my youth was an anti-US communist. Life taught her that capitalism works better for her. We had horrible discussions until we decided to leave politics out of our conversations. I think life is too short to be confrontational when there are many pleasant things you can talk about.

If you want to debate and be involved with politics, get involved with your local political office, but leave politics out of social gatherings. Wasn't there an old saying about religion, health and politics not being good topics at parties?

I think that your bf loves you, but do not push too much, you do not want this to become exhausting.

Haha. My YM accepts that I speak my mind to anyone I feel like. His friends and co-workers think me odd as I am unlike anyone else's girlfriend in attitude. Not only, the not being submissive part, but I also know a lot about my YM's work. And if his customers call the house, they think I am his mother, because I don't speak like someone in their 20's.

Anyway, I don't think my current s/o silly or embarrassing to be with in terms of him being lacking in his knowledge of anything. He's actually the smartest, most mature and mechanically handy boyfriend I have ever had. This one is definitely a keeper! I often joke that when we go out to California to introduce him to the rest of my family, they will want to keep him for themselves, in fact I could see my stepdad adopting him as they both like and understand higher mathematics and computer programming.

They used to go alot deeper than they do now. Before my husband died and my son died I was more involved and definately more conservative. Taking care of my husband sapped my time away and after he died I realized that politics made me angry and I did not want to be angry anymore so I gave up alot of the listening, reading that I used to do when I had the spare time.

Dealing with my son's mental and chemical problems taught me patience. It also taught me a lot about the system and how hard it is for people to navigate. It also taught me how exhausting it must be to be poor. Andrew's death taught me to be much less judgemental and more accepting of other people. You never truly know someone else's story.

I do get very passionate about topics when I debate. Sometimes I like to take the opposite side so I can learn things from people or make them defend their positions. My BF is passionate about his politics too, but I don't see it as too much of a deal breaker. I have come around to his way of thinking much more than he has of mine.

Forgive me, Christie, if you have already spoken about your husband and your son and everyone knows this except me - I am so sorry you have been through such difficult times. I can only imagine how painful this must have been.

I can see how in your circumstances political differences would seem like a very minor issue.

Since this is actually more about politics, my YM and I are avid NPR listeners, so both very liberal in our political outlook. The rest of his family is very Christian conservative and Republican. His stepdad is more like us, but he is very international in his views as he grew up in Africa.

Thou none of you know me, you may have gathered through my posts that I can be pretty straighforward, blunt and opinionated. :o There is nothing I like better than great debate and good conversation. I am much more liberal than I used to be, but definately still veer to the conservative side of most issues. My BF is much more liberal than I. He was my friend long before my BF so he watched me in heated conversations and participated in some before we were romantically involved.

Anyway, yesterday we were at a 4th of July party and the discussion turned to property taxes, public education, several hot topics. I had a great time arguing, discussing, horrifying most people there but I don't think hurting anyone of being derogatory or personal. We (the people in the group) all got along great the rest of the evening, but the discussions did get really heated at times.

After the discussions were over, I approached my BF and laughing said that I hoped I did not embarrass him with anything I said. He smiled and replied that my views are always embarrassing to him, but that it was just part of the package.

Can I take that to mean that he is cool, kind of likes that I have a mind of my own, even if it is not in line with his? I hope that is what he meant and I want it to be. In past lives I have sometimes tempered my thoughts and opinions on things in order to keep the peace, etc.

Have any of you ever been with your S/O and thought I can't believe I sleep with this idiot everyday, but I love them anyway?

Nope never...he was just teasing you in good fun. To call him an idiot is ouchie wrong..He respects your views and loves you for it! You would not want him to be the same as you:no: hehe

Have any of you ever been with your S/O and thought I can't believe I sleep with this idiot everyday, but I love them anyway?

No. Period.

If I thought that way about a BF or SO, I'd have to question myself on why the word 'idiot' even came to mind in regard to a BF or SO. It is important to me to respect my SO at all times, and vice-versa. If their views are such that I think that person is an idiot, or if they think that I'm an idiot, I'd be highly troubled.

I also don't like the fact that he said that your views are embarrassing to him. But I wasn't there and maybe he said it in a way that was not offensive to you. I can see how that could be the case so I'm not going to spend more time on that topic.

I meant that he would look at ME and think "I sleep with this idot every night" ! LOL

I would never think that about him. He is a sweetheart. I was amazed when he laughed and said it was part of the package. No one has ever accepted me like that. It made me feel happy about our relationship. I just wondered if it had happened to anyone else.

BIJOU-don't feel bad. The circumstances are tragic, I know but I am okay and working through things. My son's death was much harder/different than my husbands-

Christie

I meant that he would look at ME and think "I sleep with this idot every night" ! LOL

I would never think that about him. He is a sweetheart. I was amazed when he laughed and said it was part of the package. No one has ever accepted me like that. It made me feel happy about our relationship. I just wondered if it had happened to anyone else.

BIJOU-don't feel bad. The circumstances are tragic, I know but I am okay and working through things. My son's death was much harder/different than my husbands-

Christie

Well now this makes the story look completely different Christie! That is a lovely statement of unconditional acceptance and I can see why it would make you happy.

I'm glad you're okay, that is so much to process and accept. I think you're telling me not to dwell, so I won't.

Have any of you ever been with your S/O and thought I can't believe I sleep with this idiot everyday, but I love them anyway?

Well I've questioned on many occasions if mine wasn't one and I'm sure he's done the same about me. But the feeling is just an immediate reaction to an emotional situation. Nothing long-term.

We're both pretty opinionated people. We see black/white on most things in agreement but when one feels strongly in opposition we do stop for a second and think, "Are they insane? What the heck are they smoking and how do I get some?"

But once we step back and see the other's point we see we were the idiot for assuming the other didn't have a point. Every side has merit after all and neither side is completely right.

Two hot topics in our house are politics and religion and our conversations rarely end without one of us just agreeing to disagree. :tongue2:

I'm sure this passionate quality on display in front of friends would make me wonder if I stepped on my YM's toes, but I know he would never want me to change it. My ability to go toe-to-toe in a respectful fashion is a big turn on for him. He has often said it is one of his favorite qualities of mine. It's also one of his least favorite qualities we when argue because I don't temper it well!

But he would never want a woman to curtsey to his every belief and vice versa. Sure we like others agreeing with our opinions but what's sexy about our mate having no mind of their own and always nodding in agreement? Both of us are too strong to stay interested for long in someone like that. It's probably part of the reason we find each other so sexually/mentally appealing.

From your posts I have always gathered that your man is confident and strong. And I believe strong men require stronger women to love them (and likewise in return).

I can not imagine a personality like this ever sleeping next to anyone he'd deem an idiot for any reason. It just goes against the grain of a strong personality build to me.

Based on how you describe yourself as being blunt I just view his response back to you as playfully blunt as well. If he's blunt as well then you and I both know he wouldn't dance around calling you an idiot if he truly believed it! :p ;)

From your posts he sounds like a wonderfully matched mate who challenges you in so many ways. These are the types of relationships I love hearing about and given the recent events I'm so thankful that he has found a way into your life.

Yep especially with past relationships. But if they are willing to put up with it then you know it's love or very strong like. lol At least he's being honest and honesty is always good. :bgrin2: