OW 25/YM 18. I'm a newbie!

I ran across the website when I searched 'younger man, older woman'. I am so glad I found this website. I wish to say hello to everyone and I'm looking forward to getting to know you all! :grouphug:

I am a 25 year old woman dating an 18 year old man. I have one 8 year old daughter. At first he told me he was 19 but something happened yesterday that made him finally confess his real age. We have been dating for a month now and things are going great. I met him at his younger brother's graduation cookout. We clicked instantly. I met his mom on numerous occasions and she encouraged us to talk and was saying that she wants 'pretty grandchildren' and I was like wow we just met today. She was a little drunk when she said that of course. :happy0188:

A week and a half after we met we made love for the first time together (he was a virgin and after asking him many times if he was sure he wanted to do it he said yes). It was a great experience and very erotic. We have been really close ever since and things are moving along quite nicely. It felt good knowing that for the rest of his life I would be the first person he made love to. He would come home with hickeys all over his neck and I guess that is where his mom got concerned.

Okay back to the subject at hand. I took him to my family's 4th of July cookout yesterday. They already know who he is because his uncle used to date my aunt but they are no longer together. So both of our families are familiar with each other. So we leave the cookout a little early to go to the movies. His mom decides to crash the cookout to look for him but we were already gone. She sits with my family and have a few beers. She tells them that I may be too old for him and that I have his 'nose wide open' whatever that means. She told them I took his virginity and that she doesn't want him to get hurt. After hearing this from my relatives he finally told me that he was really 18 years old. He turns 19 next month.

I can understand where she is coming from but geez he is 18 years old. When I went to pick him up to go to the cookout we chatted a little bit and she said that she wanted to talk to the both of us but that was all she said. She seemed pretty happy to see me. I hope she doesn't think that I'm taking her son away from her. The day of his brother's cookout he had came home from attending VMI. She thinks we spend all of our time together when actually he's been with his friends mostly. She even made a comment to him to 'let her breathe'. He said that he will talk to her and let her know the deal.

I really like this guy a lot and he is far mature for his age. He doesn't listen to rap, mostly oldies but goodies and I love the way he dances. Okay I will stop rambling now I just had to vent to someone who is in a similar situation as me. What should I do, should I stop seeing him? I don't really care what my family thinks because they all have some major skeletons in their closet. I just don't want his mom to think I'm some older woman preying on younger guys.

Hello and welcome! Your pic made me do a double-take -- you look a lot like a friend of mine! :D

I know a lot of women here (myself included, heh) would kill to only be 7 years older than their boyfriends.

I don't have much to add, but I didn't see anything in your post that would indicate you "should stop seeing him", like you asked. He's over 18, an adult, and it sounds as though things are going really well for you! :)

You know, I think in a lot of cases, there is always going to be some... tension with the mother of a boyfriend.

She tells them that I may be too old for him and that I have his 'nose wide open' whatever that means. She told them I took his virginity and that she doesn't want him to get hurt.



Slang for to 'being in love'.

I had to ask someone the first time they said it what it meant, lol. Seemed like a mean way to define love even if the reason behind saying it that way wasn't the way I envisioned it.

Momma drama can be terrible to endure! So many women have posted here about it. Your YM is doing the right thing, talking to her about it.

It's all that can be done outside of giving it time.

I say definitely don't stop dating someone you have a connection with. You both are having a good time so what's wrong with that?

I have tired of hearing that same played out mentality that 'you need space to grow'. As though a relationship ends that 'space' for growth for everyone who has ever had a relationship with a young man.

Here's the worse case scenario, 5 years (or however many) pass and you two break-up. You'll be 30 and he'll be 23. Yes I see the headlines now, your lives are over and ruined. :rolleyes:

See the silly rationale in that? If either of your lives are ruined by a break-up then I say you need therapy immediately because you got a whole lot more going on than a break-up!

I understand some may be worried that it could harm or ruin him but having a healthy relationship with a woman is not an experience worth avoiding until mom feels he's 'old enough' to handle it. Especially past the age of 18.

Your post doesn't hold any of the red flags I'd look for in even indicating it would be a bad experience for either of you (drugs, abuse, etc). So I would have no hesitation in pursuing it regardless of the fear his mother has.

Be reasonable about what you expect from this experience, but definitely go forward. Who knows where it may lead! :yes:

My fiance and I started dating when he was 18 and I was 32. :eek: :tongue2:

Oh! And welcome to Ageless! :bighug:

I ran across the website when I searched 'younger man, older woman'. I am so glad I found this website. I wish to say hello to everyone and I'm looking forward to getting to know you all! :grouphug:

I am a 25 year old woman dating an 18 year old man. I have one 8 year old daughter. At first he told me he was 19 but something happened yesterday that made him finally confess his real age. We have been dating for a month now and things are going great. I met him at his younger brother's graduation cookout. We clicked instantly. I met his mom on numerous occasions and she encouraged us to talk and was saying that she wants 'pretty grandchildren' and I was like wow we just met today. She was a little drunk when she said that of course. :happy0188:

A week and a half after we met we made love for the first time together (he was a virgin and after asking him many times if he was sure he wanted to do it he said yes). It was a great experience and very erotic. We have been really close ever since and things are moving along quite nicely. It felt good knowing that for the rest of his life I would be the first person he made love to. After times of teaching him good techniques and being very patient with him it has paid off. We would have foreplay for two to three hours. He would come home with hickeys all over his neck and I guess that is where his mom got concerned.

Okay back to the subject at hand. I took him to my family's 4th of July cookout yesterday. They already know who he is because his uncle used to date my aunt but they are no longer together. So both of our families are familiar with each other. So we leave the cookout a little early to go to the movies. His mom decides to crash the cookout to look for him but we were already gone. She sits with my family and have a few beers. She tells them that I may be too old for him and that I have his 'nose wide open' whatever that means. She told them I took his virginity and that she doesn't want him to get hurt. After hearing this from my relatives he finally told me that he was really 18 years old. He turns 19 next month.

I can understand where she is coming from but geez he is 18 years old. When I went to pick him up to go to the cookout we chatted a little bit and she said that she wanted to talk to the both of us but that was all she said. She seemed pretty happy to see me. I hope she doesn't think that I'm taking her son away from her. The day of his brother's cookout he had came home from attending VMI. She thinks we spend all of our time together when actually he's been with his friends mostly. She even made a comment to him to 'let her breathe'. He said that he will talk to her and let her know the deal.

I really like this guy a lot and he is far mature for his age. He doesn't listen to rap, mostly oldies but goodies and I love the way he dances. Okay I will stop rambling now I just had to vent to someone who is in a similar situation as me. What should I do, should I stop seeing him? I don't really care what my family thinks because they all have some major skeletons in their closet. I just don't want his mom to think I'm some older woman preying on younger guys.

First off a HUGE welcome!!
I am merilee/cham on here I am 41 and engaged to a 20 year old sweetheart of a man!

Your age difference is small compared to alot on here. So how does she know YOU took his virginity where they there when it happened? um no and if you did what does it really matter...you two are dating! who cares.
My future mum in law is 1 year younger then me oh and let me tell you WOW his family flipped HARDCORE LOL now they love me but what a battle!!
ME personally..DATE HIM..if you and him are happy then DO IT!!
IN the end it is about you and him not anyone else!!! Oh yes there will be snide remarks but they will have to learn to accept it or shut up.

I think your young man needs to tell them I am dating her we really like each other and you either accept it or you don't. If you dont then keep your snide comments to yourself as I will not tolarate this behavior...plain and simple.

If you do talk to his mum tell her how you feel she may give ya some gruff for it..but let her know although you respect her and her opinion..you like her son and all you want to do is love him thats all.

Welcome to ageless. I don't see any big issues for the two of you that are age-related. My late husband was 6 years younger, and my current husband is 8 years younger. I'd say age is the least of your worries.

I do not want to be rude but to me you guys are not even in an age gap relationship LOL :tongue2:

You are 25 and he is 18, sure you have more baggage than him but he is an adult and makes his own decisions, your sexual life should be nobody's business.

Probably the mom is more concerned about his son getting hurt if this is his first serious relationship than about anything else.

Now, do not mistake my words but; do you think the mom wanted for her son a 25 yo with an 8 yo kid?Every parent wants their kids to be happy, what they do not tell you is they have their own mental image of happiness and when reality does not match that idea it takes some time to adjust.

So many times I wonder if a guy much older than me,and moving to another country far from my family was what they wanted for me, and of course it was not... hell this is not what I as a selfish mother (I am not one yet thought :D) would want for my kids, I would want them to have a good job, find a cute smart guy, have two kids by the age of 30, own a small house and having them for lunch at home on sundays. Luckily my parents understood that my idea of happiness differed from theirs but it was not for that worse or better and they could only accept and respect it.

You have only been dating a month, it will probably take longer than that for them to come to terms with the truth of his son dating someone. I was with my ex-bf for 5 years, I was 17 he was 21 and only child and for some reason his momma never liked me, there is only so much you can do, and your boyfriend is old enough to decide for himself without the mom saying who he can or cannot date.

Good luck!and welcome :)

I am so glad I found this forum you all are great! I can't wait to get to know each and every one of you.

I'm not sure how she found out he lost his virginity. He claims he didn't tell her but I'm sure he probably told his younger brother or his best friend by now. Maybe she assumed because of the hickeys.

personally, I think you both look cute together. I don't see why his mom should have any issues, well, maybe a couple....

The one being MOM might be looking at in this relationship in that you had a kid at 16/17 yrs old, and she doesn't want her kid involve in the whole daddy drama, if there is one and if you were that irresponsible then, will your son be the next daddy drama in your life, and along with the whole hickey thing...middle and high schoolers do that, to mark their territory...not mature adults, so she's probably bugging out.

Because you have a child, evidence of your teenage years, her son still being a teenager, she's hoping you don't take her kid down the same path. She may have been drunk, but I find drunken people say a whole lot of truth in this state, so listen to what she's saying. Your a parent now, tell me that in 10 years you will not say anything to your kid who comes home with hickeys and supposedly dating a more "mature" person. Yes you can talk to her, but what for, you ym should be talking to her, all you can do is be as responsible and mature as you're being. Eventually, she will see the real person down inside who has grown into a fantastic person on your own. And will continue to be so, with or without her son.

paris

That was a good point about the hickey thing. I didn't put them there intentionally he just bruises easily but I know to take it easy now. I couldn't imagine if my daughter came home with hickeys even if she is 18.

Hi there - and welcome!

Well I'm 46 and my fiance is 20. Now that's an age gap! LOL

Like others have said, 7 years isn't much of one at all. I was married to a guy before that was 8 years younger than me and I didn't ever notice any age difference; nobody else did either. He looked older than me.

Anyway, I'm confused - one of the parents seems to have encouraged this relationship, am I right? (Saying they wanted pretty grandchildren? And by the way, when I first saw the two pictures of you, I thought the same thing: "Wow - what a gorgeous couple!")

Sounds like a really nice relationship to me from what you've shared so far. I wouldn't give it up. Besides - how lucky are you, man? All of your family knows all about the two of you from the start! You're not going to have to go through any of the anguish of waiting to know when the families are going to find out - like many of us here!

I say enjoy!

Thank you Ali! Funny thing is it was his MOM who said that and that was within the an hour of getting to know him. But she had a few drinks and I think she just was in a good mood.

I wish we could all meet for coffee and share stories with each other. Love has no age limit and I am so glad I came across you all. I've been reading through the forums and have noticed that 7 years isn't much of a difference than the others.

Thank you Ali! Funny thing is it was his MOM who said that and that was within the an hour of getting to know him. But she had a few drinks and I think she just was in a good mood.

I wish we could all meet for coffee and share stories with each other. Love has no age limit and I am so glad I came across you all. I've been reading through the forums and have noticed that 7 years isn't much of a difference than the others.

Hey, my mom said almost the exact thing when I brought home the Catholic guy (from the seminary - where he was studying to be a priest) and told her we were getting married. LOL She looked at me and said, "You lucky duck! You're going to have GORGEOUS kids!"

She was right - drunk or not! LOL

Getting together over coffee or something WOULD be kinda fun, wouldn't it? Wish we weren't all over the world, but then being all over the world from each other provides us an insight, too, that this is a global thing, not just cultural or influenced by current times!

Hey im a newbie too, my first post was yesterday.

I was just wondering, how many years gap is classed as an age gap, there is 10 years between me and my boyfriend (im 32 he's 22) ive had stick from a few people (my mum being the worst, although she ended up saying if im happy shes happy), as i said in my other post, i agonised over the age difference but finding this forum has made a huge difference on the way i feel, me and my b/f have been dating for just over a month and things are going soooooo well, big thanks to everyone on this forum :) x

I was wondering what classifies as an age gap too. One year could probably classify these days. You're either too young or too old in society.

I think a lot of people around here would go with an arbitrary 10 years. I'm of the mindset that it really depends on what "stage" you are at in life. That is 25/18 might not seem like a gap if you were both in college, no kids etc. But it becomes much more of a gap with a child, education gap, earning gap and the like.

Regardless of whether you consider your age difference to be a gap or not, welcome to ageless!

BTW my gap is 11 yrs...

Love is ageless. I don't think this was an issue back in the days as far back as the Bible.

I agree, it probably was not an issue back then. And shoot, it's only an issue now if you allow other people to make it an issue...

I think you look wonderful together, and he sounds like a great guy. It shocked me when I fell in love with an 18-year-old way back when, and it took me some time to adjust. I think it is the same with families..sometimes they are shocked and just need a little time to soak it all in.

You age gap really truly isn't much at all....just enjoy it and see where it leads. If his mom has any issues, Im sure she will come around given a little time.

Thanks so much Jo!

I think you guys look fantastic together.

Keep doing what you're doing and be happy.

Paris