Mad at his family

Ya know, I've tried to look past it, but I really can't stand the way his family treats Jeremy and the impression or attitude they have about him.

It used to be cute that they said, "Oh, you're so good for him. He's changed so much" and stuff like that but now, after another 4th of July week with them listening to it, I'm like - WTF???

He isn't that different now than he was when we met 3 years ago. He was responsible, caring, loving, funny and a goofball. And he was 23 and single for pete's sake. How should he have been?

If you talk to them, he was this irresponsible, immature, exaggerating goofball who everyone laughed at/about.

At one point, there was a lot of drama, and his father took him aside and ranted at HIM (we were not involved in the drama) and said he (dad) and Jeremy's brother have worked too hard on the place up north to deal with all of the crap. HIS BROTHER?? And like Jeremy hasn't taken off work or used his weekend to go 3 hours away to help remodel a house which is getting left IN WHOLE to his brother. Of course the brother has been helping - he lives 20 minutes away and is INHERITING the place!!

One cousing got on the whole "he's changed so much he was so immature" thing with me and I said, "Really? How so? He's always been the same to me. And before we met, he was supporting his sister, her family, her friend's family and his younger brother. That seemed pretty mature and responsible to me." She sadi, "Oh, yes. I forgot about that."

It's like Rodney Dangerfield, I think! It's like they only focus on the negative and not all of the good things he did/does. And his brother is the golden child. For what? Because he married the girl HE knocked up?

I just don't get it and I swear I was ready to go down and give his father a piece of my mind!! But I held back, because alcohol was involved. But the next day, I still felt the same. Jeremy said not to worry about it, but now he just texted me and he's upset the way his family is being towards him, too.

The big thing is the wedding. His dad paid for his brother's wedding and it was this HUGE bash. Everyone was falling all over to make them happy and do stuff for them. All we have received is **** about having it on a Sunday and what an inconvenience it is for them. His dad complained that we were doing everything last minute and the only thing we did "last minute" was set the rehearsal date 1.5 weeks in advance. He went off on Jeremy when I asked Jeremy's mother if she had bought her dress yet. (Personally, if my son was getting married, I would already have asked about colors & such and what to wear, but they both have shown little interest in the whole thing.) She said she hadn't, so I was saying - IF SHE WANTED - I got flowers for her already, so she could match the wedding party colors if she got black or periwinkle. She asked to see the swatch I had, but when I went upstairs to get it, Jeremy came running up and told me , "Drop it! Dad says mom already has her dress and he's pissed that we are bringing it up so late!"

Now, if she had told me she had her dress, I would have totally changed my conversation and just asked her about it or not even that, just told her I got her flowers,too. But SHE told me she didn't have a dress yet. And WE are the one's doing things last minute??

I'm really really worried that his dad - who is also the best man - won't even set up a bachelor party for Jeremy!! Or it's going to just be a thrown together thing with the couple people who can make it last minute, you know?

They are so weird. They CONSTANTLY scold him for not calling or coming over enough, yet seem oblivious to our explaination that he works secong shift Monday through Friday and his parents work first and third and leave town almost every weekend. And they have never come to our house or asked to visit. (By contrast, my mom has been over several times, as was my dad.)

AND!!! People kept giving us a hard time about the wedding being on a Sunday. I'm sorry, but they have had 4 months notice - BECAUSE it was on a Sunday - even before we sent out the invites. If it were someone who I CARED ABOUT, I wouldn't complain. I would simply want to be there and I'd either A) come for the ceremony and beg out early because I had to work in the morning or B) request off work FOUR MONTHS AGO.

So many people are giving this story about having to work that it's ridiculous. And one guy doesn't even have to work until Monday NIGHT! We had 15 invitations unanswered from his family. We saw all of them at the 4th party. Many of them said, "Well, I didn't answer because I'm not sure if I can get off work." And a few said, "We might be there." Like they are CLUELESS that we have a caterer to get numbers to (even after I said so.)

Not one of my family begged off because of work. A few were going to be out of town or had prior obligations, but the ones who are showing are either leaving earlier than midnight or taking Monday off.

Jeremy is feeling really slighted and, I'm sure, not a bit rejected and unloved. He just texted me that he is STEAMING. And I'm really feeling bad for him and wish I could do something!!

OK, end of rant. I'm literally tearing up here. He deserves so much better for such a special day.

Now I wish we had eloped so we wouldn't have seen how uninterested his family is in him.

I don't think that it's too late to just elope. Cut your losses while you can. And remember, living well is the best revenge. Years from now, and only if they deserve it, have an anniversary party. If my family and friends or his were pulling that sort of crap, then we'd think them not worth including in our celebration, let alone feeding them. :mad:

And if the caterer won't refund your deposit, donate the food to a homeless shelter.

Hugs,
miu

LOL! I'd love to. But, the cake, wedding attirre and DJ are all paid in full already.

And there is still my family, our friends and his DECENT family that DID take off work or plan to show regardless.

I guess we will just know who really cares about us, right?:yes:

LOL! I'd love to. But, the cake, wedding attirre and DJ are all paid in full already.

And there is still my family, our friends and his DECENT family that DID take off work or plan to show regardless.

I guess we will just know who really cares about us, right?:yes:

due to the fact i dont want to see my post

I guess we will just know who really cares about us, right?:yes:

Huh that's the way it always works, just because you share blood with someone that doesn't mean s***!

Its very sad, really. The power struggle never ends, even when the parents' kids are grown men.

I dont really have any advice for you, except to make it YOUR day. YOU and JEREMY. I know that's easier said than done. He deserves for his family to be there and to be happy for him, but they will only do what they want to do and act the way they always have. It wont change. Nobody ever does!

I know i'll never have a wedding again. I want to feel my OWN happiness and not anybody else's misery!

Its a tough situation because they are HIS parents, and sometimes its OK if he wants to talk bad about them, but you have to be careful. That's the way it was in my marriage anyway. My ex-husband trashed him mom all the time, but God forbid if i agree...

*sigh* i wish i had advice for you...i do feel for you, and Cham you too :(

Kristin...

I'm so sorry to hear that yall are having to deal with this. Your wedding should be a happy occasion!!!

I've never heard of people complaining because a wedding was on a Sunday. That seems so strange to me.

I have recently had to realize that the people who will show up to your wedding (or in my case...bridal shower) ...are the people who really love and care about you.

To everyone else...screw em. Yall have fun and just make the day about you and your family. (I know...easier said than done)

(((HUG)))

Nadine.

Hi Kristin,
I haven't been to Ageless in a while and didn't know you are getting married. That is wonderful. Congratulations. I wish you and Jeremy the best!
May

Well, I don't think I'm even getting a shower or bachelorette party, but I'm not too concerned. Been there, done that. I already have a house full of "stuff."

The kicker is, Jeremy has so much admiration for his dad (he DID ask him to be his best man) and loves his family and they just seem so....apathetic.

Here's an example - when Jeremy's brother got married, his brother asked a friend to be the best man and his cousins and the youngest brother were groomsmen.

Jeremy wasn't even asked to be even an usher.

It's like they don't even think of him. :(

They don't still treat him like a kid. It's like they just refuse to acknowledge his accomplishments or things he DOES do. Like the cousin's "Oh yeah, I forgot about that..."

It's truly mind-boggling.

Kristin...I've never heard of people complaining because a wedding was on a Sunday. That seems so strange to me.

Nadine.

Right???

And Jewish people get married on Sunday by tradition. Do all of their friends and family complain?

And what about the people who DID take off Monday so they could party? If THEY could do it, why couldn't everyone else?

It's just so lame. The wedding is at 3:30pm and the dinner at 5:30pm. There is no reason you couldn't come because you have to work Monday morning - unless you have this screwed up line of thought: "Well, I won't be able to stay late and get drunk and get up the next morning, so I won't go."

What kind of BS thinking is THAT?

Just go to the wedding & dinner, maybe stay until 9pm or 10pm for a few drinks and leave early enough to get to bed. I mean, who goes to bed at 10pm on Sunday?

I know 1/2 these effers will be out drinking ANYHOW!

They are just too cheap to spring for a hotel room.

You have every right to be ticked off and in your shoes, I would be too. I hate it when parents treat their grown children like children. I hate to hear any member of a family belittle another and I hate it more when it is done in the spirit of "poking fun" but the intent is transparent. My own parents are masters at this. All I can tell you is to take them with a grain of salt. Have your wedding and have a wonderful day, with or without their approval or investment. Wishing for them to show interest or excitement is probably futile. Concentrate on your kids and how much fun and excitement they are going to have, watching mom and Jeremy get married!

Hi Kristin,
I haven't been to Ageless in a while and didn't know you are getting married. That is wonderful. Congratulations. I wish you and Jeremy the best!
May

Thank you May!

I just wish it was without all of this drama!

You have every right to be ticked off and in your shoes, I would be too. I hate it when parents treat their grown children like children. I hate to hear any member of a family belittle another and I hate it more when it is done in the spirit of "poking fun" but the intent is transparent. My own parents are masters at this. All I can tell you is to take them with a grain of salt. Have your wedding and have a wonderful day, with or without their approval or investment. Wishing for them to show interest or excitement is probably futile. Concentrate on your kids and how much fun and excitement they are going to have, watching mom and Jeremy get married!

Thanks Rozie. That's pretty much what we've decided. We've both said it at different times..."Screw them. It's OUR day."

But it still stings a little, you know? And I'm really hurting for Jeremy.

The weird thing is, his parents really ARE nice people. And they have been nothing but sweet and affectionate to me. It's just this wacky I-don't-know-what-to-call-it with Jeremy. I wish I could describe it better.

Sometimes I watch Jeremy with them and it's like watching the runt scrambling to get the mother's attention, you know?

It's not like it's mean or negative. It's like they stopped trying to KNOW him since he was 15 or something. They all tell funny stories about the family, but Jeremy's just seem so "off". I just don't know how to describe it.

Jeremy told me once that he was always the one who was picked on (until his little brother came around and he had someone to torment). He was the one pushed outside naked or locked in the closet by his older (by one year) brother and cousins. And he was the second oldest.

Here is an example. Jremy told me that he injured his shoulder when some crackhead (he assumed) tried to jump him at the bus stop. Jeremy punched him, but held his arm at to straight an angle and it tore his rotator.

At the 4th party, everyone was talking and this story came up and they were all laughing at Jeremy like it was total BS. I could see Jeremy looking a little pissed.

It's like, they either think of him as a joke or they don't think of him at all.

And to me, he is so smart, funny, caring, responsible, etc. Yes, he is a talker and likes to tell stories. Maybe he used to elaborate in the past, but I could see why. They probably didn't pay much attention to him otherwise.

But if that is the case, get over it now. That was a long time ago!

Thank you May!

I just wish it was without all of this drama!


Kristin, dear, you know some folks NEED drama in their lives. Honestly, it's a basic human instinct to try to tear folks down so you can feel superior to them. From this distant listening post it sounds like that might be what's going on.

Jealousy may be at work too. Seeing your picture, if I were Jeremy's competitive brother, I might be a little ticked off! Especially if the brother's wife is unpleasant/dumpy/unattractive, or if their marriage (or partnership) is lacking somehow....

In short, miserable people often insist on sharing their "good cheer" with others. :rolleyes:

I know what you are saying, Harrison. But his brother is now a really decent guy and probably one of the few who don't give Jeremy such a hard time.

He's only been at his job a short time, but made a great effort and was able to get off for the wedding. Maybe to make amends.

Really, he should have been the best man. He & Jeremy talk every day. He's the only family member who calls all of the time - not just when they want something.

But Jeremy was REALLY hurt that he wasn't asked to stand up in his brother's wedding. They were very close and even worked together at the time. He just couldn't get past that. It's a shame, but that's what happened.

Most of what I speak of is his parents, some of his siblings and much of the extended family.

Sounds like expectations are high for people who are jerks. That's always a problem. Their behavior sounds a little passive-aggressive, but more likely just ignorant and stupid. The whole "it's on Sunday" is just an excuse.

It's hard to let go, but I think you and Jeremy must let go of any expectations out of his family on your wedding day. Clearly they have some pre-prescribed notions about who he is, and they aren't budging.

Sad.

Sorry this is happening.

Here's another thing.

I can't even remember one person coming up to me and saying what a great guy Jeremy is or anything nice.

It's always been some story that pokes fun at him or saying how I changed him, which is ridiculous.

Yes, he has taken on more responsibility, but he did that BECAUSE of who he is - not because I changed him. I can only say that he CHOSE to settle down on partying (he says he partied more because he didn't have naything or anyone so it was out of lack of anything else to do) and he stayed in a job he was ready to quit because we got a place together. (He gives me credit for that one, but he came upon the decision himself - I didn't "make" him.)

I know what you are saying, Harrison. But his brother is now a really decent guy and probably one of the few who don't give Jeremy such a hard time.


Well that's a relief!! :) I stand corrected.

Most of what I speak of is his parents, some of his siblings and much of the extended family.

Yeah? Are they successful people? Average? Pretty poor? Doing better or worse than Jeremy? Just curious to know what their deal is.

It just sounds to me like there's some underlying problem, the stress or tension of which is being directed at Jeremy... for whatever reason. Whew! Really sounds unpleasant, which is a shame.

My folks are just the opposite: kind, gentle and nice to be around.

Sounds like expectations are high for people who are jerks. That's always a problem. Their behavior sounds a little passive-aggressive, but more likely just ignorant and stupid. The whole "it's on Sunday" is just an excuse.

It's hard to let go, but I think you and Jeremy must let go of any expectations out of his family on your wedding day. Clearly they have some pre-prescribed notions about who he is, and they aren't budging.

Sad.

Sorry this is happening.

Thanks Kat.

I guess we can just be thankful that it is the minority who are making the Sunday excuse. It just seems like there were proportionally too many, you know.

Good description, "pre-prescribed notions."

I think I let go of expectations back when his mother never even asked me about colors or anything.

I'm just thinking about Jeremy. I'm so worried he'll be disappointed.

But, like someone else mentioned, it's hard to say someone else's family should be expected to be jerks. He can say it, but I can't or he gets defensive.

Like I said, we waffle back and forth over not caring (or pretending to) and being upset.

I mean, a cousin who has lived away & Jeremy hasn't seen for years and who didn't even get the invite until this week, his wife called me today and asked if & where we were registered. We just met this weekend.

They are the only one's to even ask.

Sounds like expectations are high for people who are jerks. That's always a problem. Their behavior sounds a little passive-aggressive, but more likely just ignorant and stupid. The whole "it's on Sunday" is just an excuse.

It's hard to let go, but I think you and Jeremy must let go of any expectations out of his family on your wedding day. Clearly they have some pre-prescribed notions about who he is, and they aren't budging.

Sad.

Sorry this is happening.

Ditto to what Kat's said.

I was wondering if there's some way you could "dis-invite" them.... but it might be a bit late for that. Might be throwing gasoline on the fire.

Some folks aren't meant to be socialized with. They're your blood and will help you out in a jam, and vice versa, but you just can't relax or be comfortable around them. That's gotta be rough.

Well that's a relief!! :) I stand corrected.



Yeah? Are they successful people? Average? Pretty poor? Doing better or worse than Jeremy? Just curious to know what their deal is.

It just sounds to me like there's some underlying problem, the stress or tension of which is being directed at Jeremy... for whatever reason. Whew! Really sounds unpleasant, which is a shame.

My folks are just the opposite: kind, gentle and nice to be around.

My folks, too, Harrison. And his are too. If you met them, you probably wouldn't even notice what I am talking about. It's really a subtle thing. And they aren't the ones making fun of him. They all hug and say I love you and all that. It's just things tha they have done over time. I don't think they realize it and would probably think it was all misunderstood.

It's the others who make fun, etc.

And yes, I think Jeremy is the best looking out of all of them and probably makes more money. LOL! :p But they just seem to dismiss that or act like he's full of BS orjust ignore the fact.

It's raelly frustrating.

I told Jeremy in a text before I posted this thread that they were just jealous.

Also, don't get me wrong, a lot of his family is making the trip and/or taking off work, even if they didn't return their RSVP cards or whatnot. And a few complimented the wedding invitation and our "blended family" theme.

So they aren't all horrible people or anything. Most are darned nice people and I really enjoyed their company this week.

That's why it's so hard to describe the feeling of this.

Kristin,

I suspect that this behavior is a reflection of underling issues that they don't want to bring to the table regarding something with Jeremy, you, your marriage, what have you. Rather than deal with their negative feelings they are just acting out. That's the way people are. At this point, do you REALLY want to know what they think?

At the end of the day it's THEIR problem. Focus on marrying the guy you've wanted to marry all this time and let it go and enjoy the anticipation. There will be time later to sort out why they are behaving they way they are. For now you and Jeremy should simply focus on your children and each other...and ENJOY.

What Bubblee said!:)

And often it is VERY hard for parents to "allow" a child to grow up. Whatever issues or drama they went through with that child as a teenager tend to remain in their minds once the child grows up and moves out, and if they don't have a lot of interaction with that grown child they never see them AS grown. I had much the same problem with my parents, which was never resolved until I had to go home and live with them for a while at the age of 47!! And then I had to have a few "adult" conversations with them, where I stated my feelings and observations of their behavior toward me and let them know that I didn't appreciate or agree with it. It wasn't fun, but we finally have a much better relationship than we ever had before.

And as for this, "WHo goes to bed at 10:00 Sunday night?"......WE DO!! LOL:tongue2:

Just make the day for you two and enjoy it the best you can! And whoever doesn't show up, well, just be glad the losers aren't there spoiling the party.

Ahhhhh family....ain't it great :rolleyes:
Big (hugs) Kirsten.....don't worry, you got the prize :D
Blessings, TD

We all grow up with the "role" that we are suppose to play in our families. Jeremy was the "wild one" from the sounds of it. I was the older sister mature and serious. When I changed and started dating my Fiance, I stepped out of the role that my family was used to seeing me in.

It threw them for a loop and some of my siblings seemed almost resentful of the fact, an attitude that seemed to say "How dare you change" because family especially siblings have their roles in the family, which are defined by other family members roles and when one family member changes all the roles change.

But I come from a large mexican family and a lot of what you have said made me think of my family. Is Jeremy's family by any chance hispanic?

There always seems to be a "pecking order" in large families and it might just be that Jeremy is being pecked back into his spot, it wont stop until Jeremy speaks up for himself kind of like "Oh YEah I remember that, remember when you (insert embarrasing incident). That usually shuts them up and teaches them to not do that again. Anything else will just be seen as an insult and you will have a relative saying "I didnt mean anything by it why is he being so damn sensitive." and cause family drama.

I sympathise with what youre going through and especially with what you went through with Jeremy's mom and her dress and your sunday wedding. I will be having that same issue with my mom and the fact that I will be getting married on a Friday and everyone has to work.

We all grow up with the "role" that we are suppose to play in our families. Jeremy was the "wild one" from the sounds of it. I was the older sister mature and serious. When I changed and started dating my Fiance, I stepped out of the role that my family was used to seeing me in.

This is rings so true to me.

Kristin,

I suspect that this behavior is a reflection of underling issues that they don't want to bring to the table regarding something with Jeremy, you, your marriage, what have you. Rather than deal with their negative feelings they are just acting out. That's the way people are. At this point, do you REALLY want to know what they think?

At the end of the day it's THEIR problem. Focus on marrying the guy you've wanted to marry all this time and let it go and enjoy the anticipation. There will be time later to sort out why they are behaving they way they are. For now you and Jeremy should simply focus on your children and each other...and ENJOY.

Ditto what Bubs said. :yes:

Do you really want to focus on any of this on your wedding day? Let it go Kristin, even if you feel bad for Jeremy. Let it go and tell him to let it go.

Sort the crap out later because guess what. It'll still be there waiting and stinking like it does right now.

As far as the people not coming on Sunday. Woot! Less people to pay for. And people that it sounds like you aren't fond about anyway. Double bonus! Consider it a free discount from his family, lol!

We all grow up with the "role" that we are suppose to play in our families. Jeremy was the "wild one" from the sounds of it. I was the older sister mature and serious. When I changed and started dating my Fiance, I stepped out of the role that my family was used to seeing me in.

It threw them for a loop and some of my siblings seemed almost resentful of the fact, an attitude that seemed to say "How dare you change" because family especially siblings have their roles in the family, which are defined by other family members roles and when one family member changes all the roles change.

But I come from a large mexican family and a lot of what you have said made me think of my family. Is Jeremy's family by any chance hispanic?

There always seems to be a "pecking order" in large families and it might just be that Jeremy is being pecked back into his spot, it wont stop until Jeremy speaks up for himself kind of like "Oh YEah I remember that, remember when you (insert embarrasing incident). That usually shuts them up and teaches them to not do that again. Anything else will just be seen as an insult and you will have a relative saying "I didnt mean anything by it why is he being so damn sensitive." and cause family drama.

I sympathise with what youre going through and especially with what you went through with Jeremy's mom and her dress and your sunday wedding. I will be having that same issue with my mom and the fact that I will be getting married on a Friday and everyone has to work.

All good points, Strwbrries.

His step-mother is Puerto Rican and his father's & bio-mother's side is Native American with a little European.

He DOES try to snap back, but everyone seems to ignore it.

Trust me, you don't have to be Hispanic, or even have a large family. There's a pecking order in ALL families. I was the smart screwup, my sister was the pretty responsible one. Nevermind that she got drunk and crashed into a garage door at a party destroying it (I've never been in an accident and I've never driven drunk), nevermind she's never been without a man in her life, and nevermind that now she has a serious problem with alcohol. When my dad came to visit us this spring he was amazed at how well we were doing, just the three of us, because I'm still the "screwup", even now at 42.

Jeremy is never going to change their minds. They think what they think, and that's the end of it. It reminds me of the saying, some people would rather be right than happy. The odd thing is, I've found, that if people focus on being right, most of the time they're wrong anyway.

So yeah, vent away, and when people try to pull this on you just look at them and say you find it neither true nor amusing. They'll say they were just joking, but we know what that means. It's neither funny nor a joke. It's their way of KEEPING him the pecking order, a game for simple minds.

Screw them. You know what a catch you have. No one else needs to, honestly.

As a newbie to all of this and to this board, can I just say congratulations and best wishes. I wish you all the happiness in the world. The things that most of you are dealing with, I will have to deal with eventually, but knowing that I am not alone will help a lot.

Thanks for letting me vent and all of the input you guys.

Jeremy & I have decided that maybe the only reason his parents ride him is because he's the only one looking like he's amounting to something!

After talking to Jeremy some more today, he said that the ribbing doesn't bother him so much, because everyone gets ribbed (true) it's just the people who are making him feel like he's inconveniencing them with the Sunday wedding is pissing him off. Like, isn't he importanat enough to make the effort?

One uncle was ribbing him for it and actually said, "well, I only have one vacation day left." Jeremy said, "And the only day your nephew is going to get married isn't important enough for that?"

Seriously, what else would you do with only ONE vacation day left other than take a day off for no reason..or maybe a WEDDING??? LOL!

Jeremy said he got frustrated and when yet another comment came, he said, "Fine! We'll just switch everything to Saturday so no one has to change their schedules or ask off work!"

And the idiot actually said, "That's great!" :eek:

Jeremy had to tell him that he wasn't serious! :rolleyes:

Agh! Family!

Well, we'd already decided to say effem and enjoy our day, so this was just a little rant, LOL! Thanks for listening.

I wish you all weren't so far away - I'd tell them to stay home and invite my Ageless friends!! :p

Kristin, sorry that this crud was frustrating you and Jeremy. Sounds like you both have a good attitude about it now.

I know what you are saying though. My husband comes from a close family and they are very outspoken, which is fine (I prefer people this way). The two times I went to visit him when we were LD, we went to see his family for part of the time. They are really great people as well.

Yet I watched stunned as my bf (then) would be talking and they would just interrupt and speak over him. It seemed liked they didn't even notice he was speaking or that anything he was saying was just not important enough to have the courtesy to let him finish. Even worse was that I could tell he was so accustom to it, he just let them go on doing it. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore, in a very polite voice, I said, "why are you interrupting Michael when he is speaking? I would like to hear the man I love finish his thought completely." Being outspoken themselves, made it much easier to say what I did.

And they didn't kill me ~lol~

Wow, Fae, that was pretty ballsy! Good for you!

Jeremy's family talks all over each other, as well. Drives me crazy.

In my family, we didn't learn to talk over each other, we learned to talk FAST! LOL!

Kristin, sorry that this crud was frustrating you and Jeremy. Sounds like you both have a good attitude about it now.

I know what you are saying though. My husband comes from a close family and they are very outspoken, which is fine (I prefer people this way). The two times I went to visit him when we were LD, we went to see his family for part of the time. They are really great people as well.

Yet I watched stunned as my bf (then) would be talking and they would just interrupt and speak over him. It seemed liked they didn't even notice he was speaking or that anything he was saying was just not important enough to have the courtesy to let him finish. Even worse was that I could tell he was so accustom to it, he just let them go on doing it. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore, in a very polite voice, I said, "why are you interrupting Michael when he is speaking? I would like to hear the man I love finish his thought completely." Being outspoken themselves, made it much easier to say what I did.

And they didn't kill me ~lol~

FAE GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I do the same thing we all get on skype and his dad will override him I will say hang on a sec, laugh then say Kai is not done yet..then his dad will say OH i am sorry son..go ahead. Before they just ignored him like he was a fixtured on the wall. NOW they listen...its so good

your wedding has been very well planned and for God sakes...I dont see how you are rushing ANYTHING.

dont let them see that they are rattling your cage...or Jeremy's, for the life of me, sometimes i just dont get how people behave.

this is on them, not you guys. by the way, congratulations.

I wish you all weren't so far away - I'd tell them to stay home and invite my Ageless friends!! :p
Yes yes yes :yes::yes::yes:

Yeah, Kris, we'd all be there in a heartbeat!!! Inlaws, who needs 'em?

Yeah, Kris, we'd all be there in a heartbeat!!! Inlaws, who needs 'em?

I'd be there in a heartbeat too. Wouldn't hear my arse complaining about a party on a Sunday.

Party? Where? I'm in. And I like the people? Sweet. Double bonus. (Notice, liking the couple is not a requirement when a party is involved, lol!)

You know, I was just wondering...how many days until the big day? ;) :bgrin2:

Today's Weds, so I'm guessing she's got 4 days left?? :D

Seriously, I would be there!! I'm off on Sunday! Lol.

:yay:

I wish you all weren't so far away - I'd tell them to stay home and invite my Ageless friends!! :p

I'd be there with my jeans and tank top with a rum and coke in my hand girl!!!:p

your wedding has been very well planned and for God sakes...I dont see how you are rushing ANYTHING.

dont let them see that they are rattling your cage...or Jeremy's, for the life of me, sometimes i just dont get how people behave.

this is on them, not you guys. by the way, congratulations.

Thanks Kitty!

Yeah, I still have 7 people who are "maybe". It's so frustrating. And a bunch asked if we had hotel rooms reserved so I rushed to reserve 7 rooms at a nearby hotel. The guy told me that nothing would happen if the rooms weren't used. Well...my mom said i should double check so I call back and the desk girl says I'd be charge the $79 for EACH room not claimed by 6pm that night!! :eek: I told her that was NOT what I had been told. So, since I STILL didn't get any answers (other than 2 no's and a maybe) from his family, I cancelled the reservations and said they can fend for themselves!

My flower petals came today. I'm printing up gold foil labels to seal the little bags we are putting them in right now. The guys just got back from picking up their tuxes. My son says they all looked great and Jeremy looked handsome in his tux. I'm glad I didn't go, no I'll be little surprised to see them, too! :)

The cruise line just called to comfirm some things, too. It's getting so close and occasionally I've been getting butterflies. Bot Jeremy and I are having weird and crazy dreams the past couple of days - just everything going on.

Tomorrow I have to go pick up the license.

On top of everything else, I'm listing TWO houses - one tomorrow and one Friday AND I have showings on Friday for a buyer AND I have to set 8 showings for Monday (I have an associate handling those showings for me, I'm not working the day after my wedding!)

You are marrying into a family that uses Jeremy as a scapegoat. They may not do big things to him, but it sounds like his brother gets more attention than he does, and that Jeremy does not get his fair share.

Who knows why a family has a scapegoat? He could have been the clown of the family at one time and all the laugh attention turned to negative attention when he got older, or, well, it could be anything.

It sounds to me that you are lucky that they choose to stay away. But I don't know that I'd say that to Jeremy cause it sounds like he cares.

In short, sorry Kristen, but this is going to be it. I don't know that you can make people change, and if you marry him, you will simply have to deal with the whole bad attitides on his families part.

If it were me, I'd sincerely think about having a heart to heart talk with his family. I'm sure you already have, but just re-assure them that you care. And see if that improves things for you.

Hugs
And congrats
Ali