advice

Hi Folks,

I am very interested in older women and think it is time for me to try the dating part but I have a very hard time approaching older women I never really seem to know if they are going to think its odd or something or if they will enjoy it. I often seem to think one is checking me out while Im doing the same but I just never know for sure and often leave it alone deciding not to approach. If anyone has any advice or stories to share please do!

Hello and welcome!:)

The main thing to remember is that women are women, period. Approaching an older woman is just like approaching a woman around your age or a younger one. You look for eye contact, or some kind of icebreaker, or whatever. You introduce yourself and see if you can get the conversational ball rolling. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, just as with women of any age.

The main difference is that an older woman may be surprised in having a younger man interested in her. There you have to be both consistent and persistent without being obnoxious. An older woman's main worries are that 1) the YM is only interested in sex (i.e. the whole "MILF" or "Mrs. Robinson" thing) and 2) that she will fall for the YM and have her heart broken when he goes back to someone younger.

And if she says "I'm old enough to be your mother" just smile and say "But you aren't":D

There's a ton of collective wisdom among our members--if you need any more guidance, pop back anytime.

Thanks Dave, I would love any other advice, tips that pepople might have to share especially from the womens perspective

Well what about older women attracts you to them? And if you dated one, would it be a long term commitment for you?

I would suggest using a casually friendly approach to test the waters with an OW if you are not sure how she would take to the idea of dating or being romantic with a YM. Most OW enjoy chatting in a friendly way, as long as you are respectful.

I have had instances where a YM has approached me or shown interest and it might take me a moment or repeated interactions to realize that he is actually "hitting" on me, flirting with me, or sending me vibes...lol. At first, I might think...."My he's a friendly young man!" Once you see that she is open to friendly conversation, you can smile a lot, laugh, ask her a couple of questions to show you are interested in her and see how she responds.

If you are interested in a relationship, I would offer a casual friendship first so as not to scare her off and that way you will also know if she could take you seriously as a companion.

yep the advice given here is great! Just be yourself! *ps dont use overly cheesy lines like me you and whip cream..what do ya say:) j/k

Yes I am looking for a long term relationship, I just find it so hard to meet older women, im not a big fan of the bar scene and agematch is sub par in my mind so how else can I do it? Is there another way?

Yes I am looking for a long term relationship, I just find it so hard to meet older women, im not a big fan of the bar scene and agematch is sub par in my mind so how else can I do it? Is there another way?

I met my Ym on World of warcraft LOL..lots on here who met online or in a game as well :):)

i suppose ill have to rely on that then

My husband and I met on Everquest in 2000. Just started as friends as I was married at the time, and heading for divorce. I hired him to work in my home office, and after 3 years our relationship deepened into a romance. After 2 more years, we married. We still play Everquest, and World of Warcraft.

He is 25 I am 49.

We are so in love, and I am finally living the life I only dreamed of, and accomplishing personal life goals I never even attempted before. Odd for love to find me at the age of 44 (for the first time). But I have learned not to analyze it, and just to enjoy it. And boy we do!!!!!!!!!

Nandara :D

While most ladies here are spoken for, there are plenty of single, open-minded, beautiful ladies right here.

Just participate and you never know what will happen. A few couples met right here at AgelessLove! :yes:

hmmm would any of these great, beautiful, sophisticated women be willing to get to know a young gentleman like myself? please drop me a line

im lonely! hehe

Mui, not every woman or man wants a ltr and that is ok...whatever makes people happy is fine by me.
Having said that, hey Hotson.....calm down a bit.
If your feelings are genuine, no matter what feelings they might be, you'll be fine but, imo, no-one wants anyone who is overly eager, esp an older woman.
Why? B/C we know that the over-anxious do not make good lovers :p
Blessings, TD

My advice is to treat her like a person and NOT an older woman, as in some special species. I meet so many YM who either a) make a dirty cackle and a Mrs. Robinson joke when they find out how old I am or b) launch into an earnest speech on how they love OW because we're so sophisticated and great in bed and don't play games. Even though the second approach comes with good intentions, it tells me that he's got a stereotype in his head he expects me to fill. That's not good. It's not reality either - OW are human like anyone else, not supergoddesses. :)

My other turn-off is when a guy shrugs off our age difference with "but you don't look your age." My looks are not the seminal issue in a AGR and if he thinks they are, he's not for me.

As for meeting OW, I've no idea. Perhaps befriending older coworkers or friends and going to some of their parties is a good idea? I honestly think a little extra eye contact is the key when you do meet one, along with subtle compliments so she understands that you're viewing her as an attractive woman and not just being friendly. It's so easy for us to dismiss and rationalize away these things. :D

Yes I am looking for a long term relationship, I just find it so hard to meet older women, im not a big fan of the bar scene and agematch is sub par in my mind so how else can I do it? Is there another way?
I second the suggestion of not treating her like an older woman. Just treat her as an adult, just as you are an adult. Love is timeless and not bound by age. Don't joke and refer to her as a cougar. Most of us bristle at being called that. And if she hasn't ever dated a YM before, if you call her a cougar early on, she might get uncomfortable and call the whole thing off.

Try a cooking or gardening class, volunteer work with children or animals, maybe a yoga class would be good, advertise on craigslist or on a community bulletin board for a walking or jogging partner. Stuff like that. It's important to build a rapport and have a real friendship with her other than just finding her attractive physically. Otherwise, she's going to worry about growing older looking and losing your love.

I met my YM through a mutual love of the same kind of car. It was a long distance relationship and we became best friends first. That phase lasted for over 6 months. Neither of us are bar scene people. Depending on what you like to do in your spare time, get out and try different things and meet as many people as possible.

Mui, not every woman or man wants a ltr and that is ok...whatever makes people happy is fine by me.

Well, I was curious as to what his intentions were, and my suggestions would be based on his answer.

Thanks ladies and gents keep em comin'! You guys are fantastic and with your help I hope to begin my dating quest soon!

If you truly are looking for a relationship, then I would say take your time to develop a friendship first and get to mutually know each other. It's very tempting to succumb to the initial chemistry or physical attraction you may feel, but being patient and taking the time to nurture the core of the emotional relationship is the key to something long-lasting and not just fly-by-night.

All the advise given is great...Like miu, I was also going to suggest taking some sort of class...yoga, gardening, music, arts....the type of things women in general tend to take and particular more mature women. I met a very nice YM through our mutual hobby--music. We are only platonic at the moment, but it's a very sweet friendship and who knows what might evolve. :)

Good luck...

We've had a few younger guys in some of our dance classes. They are quickly accepted by the group, even doted on. If you want to meet older women, you have to go where older women are. If yoga, dance gardening, etc. are not your things, then maybe you don't really want an older woman. I met my YM in an online game (FF IX), having played with a friend of his in another game (SWG). DON'T go after an older woman just because there is an age gap; go after a woman who shares common interests. Older woman are just not that desperate or loose that they are going to jump into bed with you because you are younger!

Speaking as an older woman, I find it a tad disturbing that a YM would start his dating years specifically targeting older women. I am in a close friendship status with a younger man because I inadvertently got interested in him gradually over a couple years of just being good friends. I would have been totally creeped out if he'd hit on me in the beginning. Why not be open to any age and find a friend first?

When i was dating a YM, i had met him at work. You really never know...you could meet someone anywhere, really. I would do like others said...make eye contact when youre interested, and if she makes eye contact and keeps it, smile and see what happens.

I never went looking for a YM, and have dated guys around my age since him, but i think i prefer and get along better with YM.