I'm New

Hello! How is everyone doing? I new here...I'm 19 (about to turn 20), ah you can just look at my profile. :)

I'm glad I found this place. :)

I have a question for everyone on here...what is your opinion on student/teacher relationships (obviously, former student/teacher, but possible relationship in the future)? He's 18 years older than I am.

Just curious...have a great day!

I remember Mr. Fellows in 10th grade, my Bio teacher. He used to hit on me and my friend all the time. Never really took harm to it. He must have been early to mid 40's. One day he told us that he married one of his students a couple of years after she graduated. In this situation, I see no harm. I would if you were trying to get a grade :p, but in this case I hope all works out for you :)

It really depends. Unfortunately, there are many people in positions such as teachers who get off more on the power of being in a "teacher" position rather than being in love with someone. A person who has not had a lot of "life experience" probably shouldn't date a teacher with a penchant for picking up students. The classroom is supposed to be a safe haven for the learning experience. Not the dating pool for the professor.

That being said, all things are relative. If the young woman in question is self assured, confident and has enough self esteem to know that she can have whatever she wants in life and feels her decision is wise; if she feels that the interest that the professor feels for her is genuine and not a habitual thing for him; if both partners are clear thinking, responsible adults, I see nothing wrong with it. Of course, that's my personal criteria for any relationship, I suppose.

Again, we are all here because we are in or thinking about being in unconventional relationships. Unconventional need not mean unwise. As with any relationship, one should take a look at the reality of all aspects of the situation and then if you still feel good, take the plunge.

Otherwise, I'd avoid all professors with photos of students in his wallet! (Julia '98; Samantha '99; Carey '00
;) )

Again, we are all here because we are in or thinking about being in unconventional relationships. Unconventional need not mean unwise. As with any relationship, one should take a look at the reality of all aspects of the situation and then if you still feel good, take the plunge

Well Put Happy!
Although I live in the land of make believe...where everything goes your way in peace & harmony. I live in a fairy tale movie world. Where I dream to be those people. But Happy4me is right -

Unconventional need not mean unwise

Those are words to live by! When and if I am in the dating pool again.....I will carry those words with me. :)

Hi. Thanks everyone for your thoughts. :)

Okay, I have another question. This teacher and I met 6 years ago, he was married at the time, we obviously didn't have a real relationship due to me being a minor and him being married (and still my teacher at the time). We went our separate ways for 4 years. About a year ago, I contacted him again to get the truth of his feelings for me. Was he just trying to eventually sleep with me? Or did he really care about me? I was told that he really did love me, but that we couldn't be together b/c he needed to do the right thing (stay in his marriage for his son, our age difference, etc.). He told me that he still loves me and he recently got a divorce (to the woman he was married to 6 years ago, they were married for 12 years). I keep telling him that he's transitioning, that he won't feel the same way in a couple of years from now, blah blah blah. He says that he knows he will always love me b/c he has for the past 6 years, and he also says that he is willing to accept ANY outcome of us. I don't want a relationship with this man right now b/c the odds are against us (we now live in different states, I'm finishing up college, and I have a current boyfriend who I'm very much happy with, but I don't know what's going to happen in the future).

My question is, do you think this man really does love me? Or do you think he is just grasping onto the fantasy of me b/c he is going through a traumatic experience in his life right now b/c of recently getting a divorce? By the way, the divorce was his wanting. I want to be friends with this man, but I'm too scared to take it to another level at all b/c I'm afraid he will hurt me again (we have had a push-pull relationship from the start due to reality being against us). What do you think? Do you think I should just continue being e-mail friends with him? Do you think I should keep in mind that we could be more (hold the hope that he's not transitioning, that he really does love me like he says he has for the past 6 years and he will continue to love me?)? Do you think I should remain in contact with him at all?

Thanks for your thoughts. Sorry so long.

My boyfriend is a university lecturer, and I'm eternally grateful that I was never his student, because he told me that if I had been, nothing would ever have happened. But he has had (brief) relationships with ex-students. It just seems unethical to be screwing someone when you're also marking their essays.

Just my two cents.

Have a better one!

Felix

(giggle) I have to agree with Felix. Six years ago, you were a minor and he was interested in you. Hmmmm. My previous post, I think stated something about "predatory..." I think it very irresponsible of your former teacher to have even hinted at being interested in you back then. With the fumbling way he seems to have dealt with his marriage, I suggest you avoid him like the plague! RUN, don't walk away from getting involved with this person. There are SO MANY wonderful men out there who have their heads on straight! Why surpass them and go stright for someone who is fresh out of drama? Most of the gals I talk to here at home all have one thing in common about their OM's (we get together once in a while to support each other) They are adults who have already gone through game playing drama and want to live happy, fun, drama-free lives.

I would never judge a woman for her choice in a mate, however, I would strongly suggest that you avoid pursuing this man in the near future.

Just my 2...well 3 1/2 cents!

Much Love,
Happy4Me

Okay, well thanks for your thoughts. I honestly don't think he's a predator, I really don't. But I can understand what you two mean and where you are coming from. I think I will just have a distant e-mail friendship with this man or nothing at all.

Thanks again for your thoughts, have a great day! :)

Love,
PiscesJNJ