26 year old man 36 year old woman love story

I'm new to this forum, but I really wanted ask some advice from people that is going trough the same situation that I'm going trough.
I'm 26 years old, my girlfriend is 36. She has a 14 year old daughter. She is Polish. She is in England right now. We met while she was on vacation here in Florida. We only spend together 4 months, but to us it was like a life time. We both felt as if we had found our true love in life. After those four months she had to leave. We both promised to try and find a way to be togheter. I really love my girlfriend. Almost two years had passed and I feel like I can't wait anymore. We talk on the phone, I try to keep my relationship with her alive. When we talk she tells me how she fears that if we ever get to be together, I might stop loving her, and find a younger girl and leave her. She always brings that into conversation.

I keep telling her, that: " I would pray everyday of my life God may give me eyes and love only for her" I'm sure of what I want. I want her to be my wife.
It is very difficult to have a long distance relationship, sometimes I get depressed over it, and I think that maybe my girlfriend is right. We have so many things againt us. Our families and friends tell the same thing to each one of us:" Come on, is not going to work. He is younger, She is older" I'm tired of that. I'm not giving up on her. I never thought you could love somebody this much.

I would appreciate the comments, and the advices.

I think that this sounds like more of a long distance relationship problem than an age gap one. After two years, do either of you have plans to move and live together or nearby? I didn't see that in your original post. True love is all well and good, but at least one of you needs to move geographically in the near future.

I believe that in order for a long distance romance to be successful, the couple needs to set some firm future goals for being together.

Well, it sounds to me like the age gap keeps her from even considering how to deal with the distance gap. I would ask the same question as Mui. When you were with her two years ago, did you talk about how to bridge that gap? Did you talk about one or the other moving or at least when you would try to be together again? I don't think two years without seeing each other is something most of us would settle for, without there being some extreme set of circumstances. What are your situations? Why no contact for two years?

I LOVE the reply you gave her to her question "what if?" That is absolutely the most romantic thing I've ever heard. I am a hopleless romantic myself-if you have spent two years, with no physical contact and are still so sure you love her, GOOD GOD MAN! Pull yourself together and go get her! Time's a wastin'! There are no guarantees in this life, except nothing ventured, nothing gained! You will never know until you try. Good luck-and keep us posted! I'm pulling for ya!

You know...its time to make some serious changes. two years is a long time not to see someone you love...one of you will have to make a trip to the other and start making some kind of preparations for the future.

Long distance is brutal. Takes alot of energy and resourcefulness that can be hard on two people who have no excuse really not to move near each other. I wouldn't necessarily move in together, but I would definitely take a vacation to each other and talk about all insecurities, all apprehensions, get it out in the open and then support and comfort each other and move forward in making plans that both of you can agree on.

You both have to be pro-active in this and if you both feel you love each other, well, then it becomes first priority and nothing else is revelant except for her child who should come first, even before you. But if that child sees no problems in this relationship, then go forward. Sleep on it, and then prepare.

Paris

Jonny, I moved your thread to the long distance relationship section.

Long distance relationships are the most challenging relationships, especially when it involves couples living in two different countries.

My first advice to you is to follow your heart. If you want to be together, then make it happen.

My second advice is to stop listening to what the naysayers are saying about your relationship. You know you love her. It's no one else's business.

My last advice is that whenever she says she is worrying about whether you will wait for her, or any other insecurities she may have, then reassure her. Give each other hope that you will be together and you can make it happen.

But, you will need to try and find a way to keep the spark alive until you can visit each other again, or until you are together permanently (which ever comes first). Just remember to include some romance in your conversations with each other.

Jonny, I moved your thread to the long distance relationship section.

Long distance relationships are the most challenging relationships, especially when it involves couples living in two different countries.

My first advice to you is to follow your heart. If you want to be together, then make it happen.

My second advice is to stop listening to what the naysayers are saying about your relationship. You know you love her. It's no one else's business.

My last advice is that whenever she says she is worrying about whether you will wait for her, or any other insecurities she may have, then reassure her. Give each other hope that you will be together and you can make it happen.

But, you will need to try and find a way to keep the spark alive until you can visit each other again, or until you are together permanently (which ever comes first). Just remember to include some romance in your conversations with each other.

I agree with whiterose!

You both need to follow your heart. Do not let others tell you both it is wrong or HOW you should feel. Keeping that spark alive is tough I know I am in one.
We do webcam and skype..yahoo ALOT we have internet dates..picnics and so on..we plan a movie together ..rent the same ones..LOL OR I set up my webcam on the tv or his cam on his tv so we can watch a program together..we eat meals together..YES the time zone is a tough one because he is in Australia soooo I am on Ozzie time...LOL BUT we make it work..I am moving there as well...

REMEMBER in the END it boils down to this..YOU AND HER no one else. BUG HUGS and good luck

I'm with all the other posters. Two years is a mighty long time to be waiting and wishing and hoping. Stop dreaming your life and live it. :yes: The distance won't get any less the longer you wait....and neither one of you are getting younger.

Great good luck to both of you.
Cheers
LB

I want to thank all of you. My situation is a little bit complicated. I didn't want to describe it to avoid any controversy among you. I will say it anyways, but before I do that I would like to apologize if what I have to say offends anyone. I have maintain contact with my girlfriend through the phone, letters, and e-mails. I'm not legal in this country yet. I emmigrated to America when I was 14 years old. I have an application for residency in, but it can take more than 10 years before I become a one. She had a hard time trying to find a job in England. Her daughter just spent the same time without seeing her mom until now, that she is with her. She's really worried right now, she won't be able to provide for her and her daughter. She is trying to get her in school,and right now that's all she cares about. I understand she has to take care of her daughter first. I can't compete with that, and never will.
She just told me that after she has placed her daughter in school. She will come to see me, and we will talk about what we can do to be together.

I just started college, she feels like I would waste my life if I stay with her. She fears that if I go to her, then I realize it is not what I wanted, then I won't have a way to come back to the states.. Sometimes she makes me feel like she is just giving me excuses to break up with me, but at the same time I think that If she would have wanted to break up with me, she would've done it long time a go. I believe in true love, and I will do everything in my power to be with her, but everything will be pointless if she doesn't feel the same I do.

I just started college, she feels like I would waste my life if I stay with her. She fears that if I go to her, then I realize it is not what I wanted, then I won't have a way to come back to the states.. Sometimes she makes me feel like she is just giving me excuses to break up with me, but at the same time I think that If she would have wanted to break up with me, she would've done it long time a go. I believe in true love, and I will do everything in my power to be with her, but everything will be pointless if she doesn't feel the same I do.

I have no experience with these things, but she could be right, depending on what your country of origin is. Would you even be able to get a passport without jeapardizing your life in the U.S.?

I think most of us have shared the worries that your woman has. When you love someone, you don't want to see them miss out on any of the wonderful things that we ourselves have already been able to experience. And we certainly wouldn't want to be responsible for our young man being deported to a country where he might face more hardship than he does now. It took me time to understand that the only thing my YM was worried about missing out on, was his chance to be with me. I'm glad she has made at least an offer to come visit you. You need to keep talking about the future, but your situation is complicated. I wish I had some wonderful, easy solutions for you. I'm not sure they exist. :(

Yes, it is very complicated, and I have no knowledge or experience to draw from in lending advice-just an opinion, for whatever it is worth. I am a hopeless romantic, and still believe that where there is a will, there is a way. The "way" may take even more patience from both of you-but you have already beat the odds in my opinion, weathering a 2 year LD International relationship! Hindsight will always be 20/20, and risk is inherent in any relationship. Don't give up yet-get together and discuss the more tangible,
logistical issues that the two of you are facing. Leave out the "what if's" that relate to the success or failure of the love you share-no one can predict that.

Well, it sounds to me like the age gap keeps her from even considering how to deal with the distance gap. I would ask the same question as Mui. When you were with her two years ago, did you talk about how to bridge that gap? Did you talk about one or the other moving or at least when you would try to be together again? I don't think two years without seeing each other is something most of us would settle for, without there being some extreme set of circumstances. What are your situations? Why no contact for two years?

I have been in contact with her this long by phone and e-mails. I have come with a list of things I can do to go to her. I'm not afraid. If I go to her, and I can't come back to America, I would go to Mexico, and wait for my residency there. Last time we talked she mentioned she was going to come see me, and then we would have, ultimate solution or plan. I met her in Florida.

I am a hopeless romantic, and still believe that where there is a will, there is a way.

Thank you very much for all your support. I'm a hopeless romantic too. I believe there is a way also. I would give one year of my life to be with her just a couple hours:( The only fear I have is, is the fear to loose her. Time, and distance has already started to affect our relationship. Even though I still feel the same, I have notice a change on her, and that makes everything more difficult. I hope she can come see me before this year ends.

So, what is the status??

*If* she were to want to be with you, could it happen? It's hard enough being LD (man, I know) without having THAT obstacle.

If you want to know about whether it *could* happen, sure it can. Even I know that. Now is the time to determine whether it can happen between the two of you.