How Long is your LDR

I am just beginning my LDR and I am wondering how long everyone has managed to sustain one? Right now I truly feel that I could go on like this until I can be with him (which is 2 years when he finishes college) I never could have in the past but I love him so much that my whole mindset is different this time around. I don't think constantly about ending it or "what if this or that"

We do talk a lot though, and by alot though we are texting while I work or email usually talk on the phone when i'm on my drive to and from work or class and when i get home we get online and talk and talk voice over the computer so we have tons of communication going on.

We plan to see each other every 2 months sometimes for a weekend or others a week (like at holiday breaks such as xmas and spring break)

I was just saying on another thread that I've been doing LDR for 2 years now. The first year, honestly, was a walk in the park compared to this year. It's so hard to move forward and progress in a relationship when its long distance, which was fine when I was still tenative about the Age Gap.

Now that we are planning a future together, I am, of course, anxious to start our future right now. It's taken a lot of re-framing for me to realize that we *are* living our future right now, just in a different way than I envisioned it.

We've been very specific about what we need and when those needs are not being met. I'm definitely ready to be together at this point, but we're going to stick it out as best we can until he gets a job up here. I was hoping it would be by Christmas, but we'll see... he's working hard on it!

We made it 6 months LDR.

We started talking in Feb. and I moved in August. We were supposed to make it all the way to Dec/Jan. Obviously we didn't make it that long. :D

LDR's are not for the faint of heart.

Nadine.

I too just recently started a LDR....well, we have know each other for 2 years, but only took it to the "more then friends" level 2 months ago. I can't possibly imagine doing this long term! But then again if you had asked me 6 months ago, if I would be dating a man 17 yrs younger then me...I would have said NO WAY!

I am normally so practical and sensible, but for some reason that is all out the window with this YM!

Sounds like you are staying connected with each other, but how do you keep from getting lonely??

Bets

We we're LDR for almost a year before he moved with me. The first time we met he moved here. We definitely did not follow the rules of progression, but seem to be weathering it just fine!

We had a two year on line relationship. I still consider my relationship Long Distance despite the fact that we live together because he has not got the green card yet, he does not speak the language, and he goes back home twice a year for extended periods.

I have been in a LDR for over one year now (first anniversary is in one week, Oct 20). Before we met in RL, we emailed and talked online every day (all day on weekends) for three solid months. This summer we spent two and a half months together, facing all sorts of practical problems, and that cemented our relationship in a way that bodes very well for the future. Hopefully he'll get his divorce soon, and we'll be able to start proceedings for a visa (I'll do the moving, for reasons I have explained in other threads).

Unfortunately, we won't be able to see each other before Xmas, because I am busy with my PhD dissertation, and he has to work as much as he can. That will make three and a half months apart.. Yes, it's hard, but we are strong and very, very committed to each other, and in spite of all the roadblocks we'll make it.

For me it has been two years and three months. It took us 11 months to meet since he lives so far away and could not come here, nor me there until summer vacation (I teach). We spent a month together off and on (he goes away a lot on his job). We were apart for 6 months (but they seems to fly by as I had so much to plan), and then I went to Serbia to live there for 6 months. Hopefully he will be here in December,He is to be working in DC for one year, BUT during that time we will get married. However, we will still be apart but we plan on seeing each other twice a month (one weekend in FLA and the other in DC), and of course there will be phone calls (which often doesn't happen now due to the Serbian telephone company :mad:! ) At the end of this school term, we will decide if I should teach for another year or half a year as his stint at the Serbian Embassy will be over, and he will look for a job that he got his master's in, and then there truly will be no more LDR! :D

I agree with Zoli when she wrote: "Now that we are planning a future together, I am, of course, anxious to start our future right now. It's taken a lot of re-framing for me to realize that we *are* living our future right now, just in a different way than I envisioned it." What we are ALL doing is living our future right now, but the immediate one as we all do have goals that are slowly coming to fruition. It has been hard, let me tell you esp, with his job (he is gone a lot and there can be no contact) along with the unreliable phone service of Serbia! :( But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel (IF his gov't does not screw us up again as he was to be here in Sept!). GRRRRR

My best to you and ALL of us!
Linda

We were long distance for just over 2 and a half years. For the first year I was still at university and we managed visits of anything between 5 days and 2 weeks every 10 weeks (I remember we never went more than 10 weeks apart at that point), roughly. Then when I graduated I got a temp job for a little while, saved up some money and came here to stay until my tourist visa expired... 90 days. For me, this was the easiest part of being LD because I had university to concentrate on.

The next year and a half was harder because I didn't have that. I worked in various temp jobs, came over for another extended stay (6 weeks this time) over Christmas, and saved money for when I made the big move over permanently. It got harder and harder as time went on, but we made it.

And now we're married and living together. :)

Well it's kind of nice to know people do actually make it through this phase :)

He is worried I will give up but to be honest I have never been more certain about anything in my life. I need to finish school and he needs to finish school and then I'm prepared to move wherever he gets a job. One nice thing about nursing I can move anywhere and work.

As far as communication we talk, talk and talk some more whenever we can. Eventho, we are far apart I never wonder what he's doing..We both know where the other is weather it's in class or working or whatever.

I think my sanity is coming from the fact that I work and go to school and don't have a lot of time to dwell on missing him

Hello, Im in a LDR with a YM from INDIA,
he asked me to Marry Him after 1 month, and told me he had to be with me come what may...
I have found the distance quite difficult , since the relationship didnt officially find its feet until after I left his Physical presence, and I am aching to be with him, He on the Other hand , while missing me, is more focused on taking the appropriate and proper steps to get to me..and is patiently taking it step by step...
I find myself going mad at times, just wanting to talk n talk....and we do, but not enough for me....

He will be here in two weeks now, and OMG,
I am scared, because I know this relationship, unconventional as it is, is going to prove challenging for me....He on the other hand sees us as two bodies one soul, and is just excited to start our life....

However, I could have maintained this LDR for however long because there is no one on this planet I am more connected to, so the thought of being without him, is inconcievable....

I do need communication though otherwise I start to frett........

I met my YM 3 years ago in January. We became a "couple" about two and a half years ago. It seems like much longer. I think that is the distance...the waiting. Its very hard to wrap my head around this concept that this is our life. In my mind, our real life is the mornings we spend wrapped in each other's arms, the hugs when one of us gets home from work, the rushing around in our tiny bathroom to get ready to go somewhere together. Our real life is arguing in the Publix about where stuff is and what we need to make what.

I think two years is do-able, but for us it gets harder. Hopefully this time next year we will actually be together.

Bob and I "met" online around November 2001 and I'll be moving in with him at the end of this month. So that's about 6 years of a LDR. Is that a record here? Do I win something?:D ;)

I've been in an LDR with my now American husband since October 2005, or maybe more correctly since December 2005 since that is when we met for the first time.
Hopefully, if immigration applications and all go as planned I will move to live with him after Christmas.:D

suicideblonde: About phone calls, have you and your BF ever tried free or almost free options such as Skype or Voipstunt? Skype didn't work that well for us, since my husband yet has not gotten dsl internet.:mad:
Instead we use voipstunt, which costs 10 euro for 3 months, and then I can call from my computer to his phone. We save A LOT of money doing that. :)

6 Years?!?!?!?!?

I think that has to be a record!!!!

I also use something called Ventrilo..u can set up a free server and u can talk to each other with the computer and headphones free

After we met, my husband and I spent about one year apart (me in America, him in Saudi Arabia/Egypt)...I went to Egypt and we got married about 15 months ago (me living abroad with him in Riyadh the entire time, aside from a few lovely vacations home and to Cairo) and are expecting our first child in just 8 weeks, God willing. At one point the distance seemed impossible, now the thought of not being with him seems impossible...

If it's meant to be, it is totally workable...just hang in there.

We used Yahoo! & MSN programs for the webcam/voicechat. We spent 99% of our time there and have no complaints.

We never tried Skype or anything like that, but I've heard a lot of people have used Skype with great satisfaction.

Xfire also has a feature you can use to voicechat and ring their computer (for gamers).

I currently use Vonage for phone service and we set up a virtual number for about 5 bucks a month that way his mom could call us and it would be a local number for her (she's CA and we're PA). They have lots of options and features that are very friendly to LDR's as well. My service is about 35 bucks a month for everything, but it requires DSL/Cable for their service (just for the owner of the line, not those who call it, which is fine because that's what I have).

Me and Nat have been together since 20th of June '06. Let's see... That's almost 16 months, if my calculations are correct (I was never very good in maths :p). We've met only one time so far, but we're planning both a second meeting and a future together ^_^

And yes, Skype is THE program you need if you are to have an LDR. Me and Nat use it about 4-5 hours a day, and we can't survive a day without it^^

We just both have AT&T in network calling... That way we never have to worry about a bill! But honestly, although our phone time has been increasing, neither of us is phone-talkers. I work about 80 hrs a week, and he works about 60!

If we get 10-20 minutes about 5 days a week, we're good, but occasionally we'll do the hour long phone call... and we've just recently added email to the communication. I'm glad we've had room to step up to more communication, because I needed that recently! But I am REALLY really excited to be together soon!

How long ? probably forever. He lives in England, his job and his kids are there. I live in France, my work and my kid are here.

He comes here once a month and I'm very happy with that. He seems to be suffering from the distance though :(

When he gets home in the evening, we often get on Skype, turn our cams on, carry on with our lives, communicating from time to time. By doing that, It really feels like we're in the same room somehow.

He phones me every single day. Don't ask why he does that since we use Skype, he just does.

Athena, I have dial up so I have the same problem, plus he is not home a lot, so we depend on the phone. It is not the cost (I have a good calling card), but Telecom as they just have bad service to the USA. I told him to go Telenor :D, as I don't have that problem with my friends who have that company, but he has yet to change... MEN!

But also, what is voipstunt?

And Aline, kids DO grow up! :):bgrin2: As do job opportunities opening up, esp. when they are sorta "exclusive" as yours is.

Regards,
Linda

Bob and I "met" online around November 2001 and I'll be moving in with him at the end of this month. So that's about 6 years of a LDR. Is that a record here? Do I win something?:D ;)

I had no idea that your LDR was that long, although I have heard of others around here that were of similar length. Thank you for sharing that because I used to feel like such an outsider in my LDR of 4 years length.

I think Joel and I was LDR for about 7 - 8 months.

Athena, I have dial up so I have the same problem, plus he is not home a lot, so we depend on the phone. It is not the cost (I have a good calling card), but Telecom as they just have bad service to the USA. I told him to go Telenor :D, as I don't have that problem with my friends who have that company, but he has yet to change... MEN!

But also, what is voipstunt?


It's similar to skype, but cheaper(I think) for calling from computer to phone. We started using it because skype worked poorly due to his slooow internet connection.

BodhiTree.......what part of France are you in? My YM is in Nice. It has been a year for us. Sometimes I think he will never get here........we have never met. No way I can go another year.......let alone 6 like some of you have. Of course I am probably the oldest one on here so I don't have the time everyone else has.

My LDR started, "officially", in February of 2006. We had an international border and roughly 1100 miles between us. As of this past August, we still have the border, but only 100 miles between us, and considering I see him every weekend, I don't consider it an "LDR" anymore.

Mines on my signature , yet may change due to his own life situation,he will be 21 at that time, also my daughter who will be at during that time 18...The LDR can work was in one before for two years and met but alas didnt work and i do not regret that time, was an interesting journey in which i grew. It is rough, but we talk on the phone every day, like today he woke me up:bgrin2:.Like anything if one wants it one will work at it, it isnt easy.


It can be done though :yes:

Hello. I have a question, not sure where I need to post it though. I'm noticing that in my LDR, I start get upset/angry or just not feeling happy...I usually am the one that goes to him, because I have a flexible work schedule...he doesn't have time off, and isn't financially well enough, to ever come see me...:(

When I'm out there visiting him, at first I'm ok when he needs to talk to his family members...I have even encouraged it, because he has 1 sister that has needed his help...but, I notice now I'm getting upset about it. So, I was wondering what's up with me??? His sister knows I'm there, etc. etc. and yet she would call him sometimes up to 4 times a day/calls or texting..just saying she needs to talk..even, if I'm there....it was really bad in the beginning of our relationship, calls all the time...while eating out, or at his place, shopping together, or even getting ready for bed...they know I'm here, and still keep it up...

Last night, I wasn't too happy with it..and went into the other room, to be alone..and read, etc...So, my question is, do any of you feel like it's understandable that I would feel this way???? I ask him, awhile back IT there was a way that he could talk to his family, etc. etc..before I come out, OR tell them when I leave..because, this is OUR TIME...since, it's long distance...what do you all think??

naturewoman

Yes it is understandable it is your time together and should not be violated, i would be upset if every time he and i visited with each other and that happened.Can they not talk with him and ect at another time unless its an emergency?.

Naturewoman, I am posting a site that really helped me in a crucial time a couple of months ago with my LDR. I thought the tests on the site seemed really hokie, but when Chris and I did them, they were a springboard for some really good discussion and decision making.

See if any of it rings true to you, and try the test!
http://www.longdistancerelationships.net/couplesp.htm

one year and ending soon! WOOT FINALLY!

We did LDR, but I really can't exactly remember how long it was. It musta been at least a year or so. We cammed, chatted on IM (mostly yahoo, but used everything), and gamed together. We watched movies together and of course visited irl as often as we could. We also had an International border between us which added to the drama (one border denial) and time in LDR (waiting for the K1 visa to go through).

We also use Vonage and absolutely love it. I'll never go back to that MF'r landline company again.