YM Threatened By Support?

My husband seems to be threatened by the fact that I come here for support. He says that he looks to me for support and doesn't understand why I need to do this. Any of you have this issue come up? I even told him to come here and read what I have written, but he said that he doesn't need to and that I didn't understand...well, no I don't understand why he would have an issue with it - but he does and that's important to me, as much as my need for support is important to me. Any Comments? Suggestions?

Definately sounds like he may be threatened by what your intentions on this board might be. All I can suggest is that you continually support him by letting him know this is a place you come to talk to friends and what not... NOT a place to find other guys. I realize you do that now, but you may just need to continue to do so. I think it is unhealthy when you make one individual your sole support or rock, if you will. Perhaps you should encourage your man to go out with his friends more and/or create some new friends.

SC

Thank you, I can't believe I spelled that wrong! Speaking of quotes, here is one that sounds like yours, but in a more brutal sense.

"If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow."

-John Wayne

Well, when I was in a commited relationship with my friend, she felt threatened by this website, and forbade me to come here and participate. So obviously, she felt threatened. I think that it could've helped us. I am even nervous now that she may see my posts here, and be angry with me. So much so that I may even rename my handle other than Big Dougie, and create a new email to send stuff from here to. But, this site has helped me so much. I feel sort of funky disclosing that I have to sneak around, but I feel that I have to. RedOakGal I suppose that I would try to wait for the right moment to gently explain what you gain from here, in terms of insight and wisdom, and that you feel that by standing on the shoulders of those that have been in age gap relationships, you could make your special bond with him even stronger. From the content of what you have posted, it does'nt sound like anything that you haven't already discussed with your hubby.

i've got a couple possible takes on it...

my ex husband was (and is still i suppose) very sensitive about having anything personal about him discussed in any public way. (hell, he'd probably twitch if he knew i wrote that line there. :p) but anyway... i'm sure if i'd been on here posting up personal stuff when we were married it'd have made him really upset. some people are just very self-conscious and really picky about personal stuff.

the other person that could relate to it is me. when i was with a YM awhile back we had a serious issue with this kind of thing. basically, whenever he was sad, or afraid, or anything at all, he went to other people. never me. and mostly women. that made me really upset because when i'm in a really serious relationship i want the person to desire to confide in me, trust me, and to strengthen our relationship by working things out together.

now, if he'd come to a place like this and just gotten support from like-minded individuals and to get a different perspective, that'd have been fine, but he seemed to always be opening up and bearing his heart to any women he could find. it was very hurtfull.

now, i would seriously doubt you're doing what he was, but that may be how your YM sees it. maybe he feels that you two should be working through your fears, and feels snubbed that you go to others. if that's the case, i'd say just make sure he feels you come to him first, and foremost, and then just come here for some insights and new perspectives. just a thought..

-j

Thank you! I would have never thought of it that way! That is why I come here - to get the perspectives of like minded people, perhaps if I tell him that he won't be so threatened.