How to break the habit

HOW DO YOU BREAK THE HABIT OF WORRYING AND BEING FATALISTIC?

I'm the type of person that feels like the world is coming to an end when things go wrong, especially when I have invested a lot in an event.


How do you break the habit?:(

...HOW DO YOU BREAK THE HABIT OF WORRYING AND BEING FATALISTIC...

Xanax??? :bgrin2:

http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h51/gp_fillmore/pills.jpg

There's no home remedy sweetheart, this one will require professional help.

Lol George!

I don't want to take medication and I started therapy two months ago but had to cancel my last session as I had an important event and now my therapist is away until the end of November.

I have been given some breathing and writing exercises but I've been so busy I haven't been doing the exercises lately. I had a break down today when something seem to have fallen apart and wow, I broke down after several attempts at solving the problem failed. It was only after crying and talking to my OM that I found the courage to act. The situation has been resolved somewhat, but herein lies my weakness; I tend to worry until it is totally resolved then I end up feeling silly for having worried so much in the first place.

Its not silly. Its not something you have control over. There is either something chemically going on inside your beautiful head, or you have been wired to react this way when you were a small child.

I know its no fun to feel this way, and I'm sure it can be resolved with professional help. Perhaps a little less ageless love would make time to do the exercises your therapist prescribed?

There's always the old rubber band on the wrist trick. Everytime you feel yourself getting anxious, snap yourself with the rubber band to remind yourself to use the tools your therapist has given you.

luv ya, George

Have you considered alternative medicine?? My Naturopathic doctor works with herbs and acupunture to treat people with anxiety/panic attacks/breakdowns. It's much better for you than taking meds and these treatments can actually reverse problems instead of masking them (like meds do).
I've also heard wonderful things about Yoga and doing breathing exercises.

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I know its no fun to feel this way, and I'm sure it can be resolved with professional help. Perhaps a little less ageless love would make time to do the exercises your therapist prescribed?



Did you know George, I actually use this site to unwind! I like to help people so being here is actually therapeutic for me. But you are right! If I spend less time here I'll have enough time to do the other stuff I need to get done! :yes:

Have you considered alternative medicine?? My Naturopathic doctor works with herbs and acupunture to treat people with anxiety/panic attacks/breakdowns. It's much better for you than taking meds and these treatments can actually reverse problems instead of masking them (like meds do).
I've also heard wonderful things about Yoga and doing breathing exercises.


I have been given breathing exercises but I guess I have not been as committed to the task as I need to be. In the instances where I've done the exercises I was able to remain calm and get on with the job with little anxiety.

I also do meditation..I have some music that is just divine..I get that feeling to sometimes and I have to remember IM OKAY

How about being in commune with nature? Walk on the park, by the beach or lake, by yourself. I also find "writing" and journaling my feelings particularly helpful.

I also had a question, don't mean to hijack this thread, but it's been brought up...do shrinks really work? I've always been a firm believer of dealing with things yourself, I mean, I guess the neanderthal man survived without ever consulting a therapist, yeah? I just kind of want to know, because I'm thinking of seeing one.

I also had a question, don't mean to hijack this thread, but it's been brought up...do shrinks really work? I've always been a firm believer of dealing with things yourself, I mean, I guess the neanderthal man survived without ever consulting a therapist, yeah? I just kind of want to know, because I'm thinking of seeing one.
Life's a little more complicated these days than it was when all we did was hunt and forage. And they did without lots of other things as well, like vaccines and sanitation. So, yeah. We don't want to go back there.

Getting professional help for your mental/emotional well-being is little different than getting professional help with anything else. There are some things you can fix yourself, and some things you need a mechanic, or a plumber, or a psychologist to help with.

There are different styles of therapy suited to different needs. I personally like cognitive behavioral therapy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy), and feel like a proactive therapist is better for me than one who would mostly just let me talk and not offer much constructive guidance. But it mostly boils down to finding an objective person to talk about problems with, who has talked to lots of people with at least somewhat similar problems and can give you a different perspective and provide new tools for dealing with challenges and correcting unhelpful thought processes. As long as you find someone you feel you can trust, I think you get out of it what you are willing to put into it. So for some people it will do a lot of good and for others it might be a waste of time. My parents dragged me to several therapists when I was a teenager and it was completely useless, but when I went voluntarily a couple of years ago it was really helpful.

...do shrinks really work...the neanderthal man survived without ever consulting a therapist...

When you're running to save yourself from being eaten by saber tooth tigers, you don't have time to worry about your childhood trauma!

Come to think of it, the neanderthal's childhood trauma was the fear of being eaten by saber tooth tigers.

Besides, the neanderthal man didn't have my parents! LOL....

Best thing I've ever done for myself was spending 6 months with a psychologist. Wish I had done so way younger in life.

George

Do you have a faith? I know for me prayer is very good and calms the mind, is similar to meditation as someone suggested, but giving your thoughts and worries to a higher power, for me that would be Jesus Christ is very therapeutic. I realize not everyone is a christian, but if you have a faith of any kind turn to that and see if there are not some things you could draw from it to calm and center yourself. I also read alot which helps me think, and helps me improve, my reading is centered around my faith, I read the bible, and also other chirstian self improving or testimonial type books, these are very great. couple great links to check out whether you are a christian or not are. lifchurch.tv, joelosteen.com, and joycemeyer.org -- these are pretty uplifting places & people, and you can go at your leisure explore through the internet.. Personally I have studied many faiths, and have found many similarities in most-- so I think if you are open minded you can find helpful things to help you even looking at other faiths.. for comfort or centeredness..
I am not opposed to counseling either, I think it is great to do, did it myself when my mom died. It really helps, just to talk..
I just in the last year started to journal, and I think it is great, I was always skeptical before and worried about someone reading it-- why I don't know.. I have found it hellpful because we are always growing and changing, and I think is a great way to look back and see growth, encourage ourselves, and also just empty the mind of our worries and thoughts, hopes and dreams, and sometimes just reading out your worst case scenarios helps you know this will not happen, or it might even make you laugh or cry when you read something you wrote... so it helps get the release you need.. It is a great IMO..
Hang in there, you've got friends!!;)

I have a "hands on" approach for you to try...it worked for me with a related issue.

Keep a journal or diary...nothing fancy, maybe just a mini-notebook. Write down how much time each day you spend worrying. When you catch yourself worrying, pull out your notebook, and write down what you were worrying about, and for how long.

"Worried about work problem, ten minutes."

Keep this for at least a week. I hope that at the end of a week, you are seeing a difference. If it is helping, keep going with it, until you do not need it anymore.

The point of the exercise is accountability. When I tackled my problem this way, I knew, each time I did the thing I was trying not to, that I had to write it down. No one ever saw it but me; but I knew it was there. I began to stop myself BEFORE doing the thing just so I didn't have to write it down.

It worked, for a while. I have to admit, I have slid back into bad habits; might be time for a new notebook for me.

If this approach doesn't interest you, I got nothing. :o

Just kidding. I do applaud you for recognizing the problem and attempting to solve it; you are on your way, with that simple action.

Good luck!

Thanks for the replies everyone.

All the tips I've received so far where recommended by my therapist, but one thing this thread has highlighted is that I'm not following his advice. When I started therapy at the end of August, I did my exercises daily and I used my journal as he suggested. However, as my life has gotten very busy lately, I have once again fallen into the old routine of running around 'looking for my tail' and then worrying when things have gone wrong.

I resolve to get back on track tonight, November 13, 2007. More and more I am realizing that therapy will only work if you do most of the work and remain committed to retraining your thought process. I will try not skip another appointment and definitely do the exercises he has outlined for me.

HOW DO YOU BREAK THE HABIT OF WORRYING AND BEING FATALISTIC?

I'm the type of person that feels like the world is coming to an end when things go wrong, especially when I have invested a lot in an event.


How do you break the habit?:(

For *me* the key to breaking this habit involves faith, spirituality, and religion. Because of my faith I can see the magnitude of this life and realize that it's not that big of a deal. This doesn't mean not to enjoy life and work super hard to be a wonderful person, it simply means that all the things we do in this life are simply tests to get us to our true, final destination. In this world we can't control ANYTHING...anything could happen in the blink of an eye, so we shouldn't take comfort in worrying or trying to control things, there is absolutely no use.

You may have obsessive-compulsive thinking. My daughter has this along with depression. She is off meds now, but for about ten years she took Paxil, then Effexor, and she was helped tremendously.

She worried constantly and obsessed about things she had no control over. She used to drive me nuts quite honestly.

Now, her life is more stable, she has figured out how to use some of the techniques others have mentioned above, and she doesn't need the meds anymore.

Just letting you know there are a lot of avenues for help.

Hi

The question was “HOW DO YOU BREAK THE HABIT OF WORRYING AND BEING FATALISTIC? I'm the type of person that feels like the world is coming to an end when things go wrong, especially when I have invested a lot in an event. How do you break the habit?”

In life it is not important to have failed, it is important to have tried. If something goes wrong, just try again. Focus on the three thousand five hundred fifty seven other ways of solving the problem.

And if you still do not like your solutions after a while, you can as well look for another problem. This advice is especially useful with the other sex… :rolleyes:

BlueBird

I think you've gotten some very constructive advice here. I really like the cognitive behavioral approach, where you try to look back and be mindful of what you are doing (like Lara said). Yoga also has some amazing properties, and I think by focusing on breathing as we do in yoga there is a huge impact on anxiety!

I know I'm adding nothing new... but I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you!

I think you've gotten some very constructive advice here. I really like the cognitive behavioral approach, where you try to look back and be mindful of what you are doing (like Lara said). Yoga also has some amazing properties, and I think by focusing on breathing as we do in yoga there is a huge impact on anxiety!

I know I'm adding nothing new... but I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you!

I definitely agree that I've gotten good advice here. Maybe I should dump my therapist since I'm paying him for advice I can get free. hehe! just kidding!:bgrin2::p

I too, excessively worry about certain things. It is fears that try to control me and one of them has become a phobia. I'm always thinking what if? what if? when like amina said, I have no control over, so why worry? Anxiety and panic attacks just amplify all the worry.

I'm thinking about seeing a counselor myself.

I've tried relaxation techniques before I go to bed. Where you control your breathing and go into that place of relaxation. When I turn over to go to sleep, I can hardly move. It would be great if I can do that before a panic attack. LOL

As far as how to break the habit? I don't know. I just wanted to write this and empathize with you. (((HUG)))