Please, give us some good advice!!

Hi everyone,

My gf and me know eachother for about 3 years now, but we're facing a problem that comes back every time.
Let me start with giving the details: I'm 18 years older then she, she's Asian and I'm Caucasian, she's living in Asia and I'm living in Europe. Guess you might know already what kind of problem we're talking about.
We see eachother about 5 times a year. It's not much, but that's how it is for now. Every time when we're together, we're having the time of our lives. We talk to eachother on the phone twice a day. Everything is perfect ( except for the temporarily far distance between us ). When we're not together, we long so much for eachother and we miss eachother so much. But my gf gets confused about the age-gap. I'm 38 years young, but I'm looking like 28. That's not what only I say, but everyone says it, including my gf. I don't see 38 as old, because I act, think and behave like I'm 28. She so much want to tell everyone about me. Her parents, her friends, her relatives. But she doens't dare too. The difference in the culture is not even the main problem, but the age-gap is. She doesn't know how to explain it to her parents. It makes her feel confused, she doesn't know if she's doing the right thing. It's not that she don't love me, or don't like me, or think I'm not attractive. It's the opposite, she thinks I'm the greatest guy she's ever met and she wants me by her side forever. The fact is that she doesn't know how to handle the age-gap and how to let her parents handle it. She doens't want our relation to be a secret one and I don't want it either. We both want it to be open and "normal". It bothers her a lot. In a desperate sad mood I suggested to break up. It would be painfull, but at least in the long run she wouldn't feel confused and bothered anymore. She started to cry ( so did I ) and told me she doesn't want us to break up. It's not what I want either, because I really really love her like I never loved someone before.
This year she's coming to Europe, very close to the place where I live. We see it as a good opportunity to be closer to eachother and to see eachother more often. But what about the age-gap, what about telling her parents. I really love to meet her parents so much. Even if they're against it, we could at least show them that what we're having is correct.
Please give us some advice, we'd really appreciate it.

Thanks!

My goodness...Well, you know, the only advice anyone can give you about this is going to be difficult. I mean, it's obvious that eventually she will just have to bite the bullet and tell her parents the truth. You can't change the truth, I mean, your 18 years older than her, and your caucasian. That will never ever change, and it would be the worst thing in the world to lie about it.
So, unfortunately, no matter how difficult it is, eventually she will have to face her famly and tell them truth and take whatever that brings with it. Now maybe she is not ready for that yet, I don't know. But we all know eventually it will have to happen. When it does come time, just be as supportive as you can, and reassure each other. The storm will eventually blow over, believe me. And once the intial conversation and the fall-out are done and over with, I would imagine it will be a huge relief to her to finally have it out in the open.
I wish you both lots of luck.... *smiles*

3 years?
Hmmm I think it's time to move on or let the parents know.

Don't you think that 3 years is enough time to actualy do as the above words said.

I know for a fact the Asian culture is different, and I also know that Parents of a female child, born in that culture, don't want there daughter to be with a white race.
However the males are treated differently.
Perhaps there is more to this then she's even letting on? *something like that*
p.s another thing, I don't believe age is an issue. I do understand what your saying & what she has said to you, But it is also known in the Asian culture, that no matter what age the man is, he may be with an asian woman as long as he is secure in money wise etc....
Sorry my post was not that possitive.


know from personal experience within family members.
P.S IF HER PARENTS COME FROM MONEY..........YOU BET THEY WILL CARE!!! who there little one is with.

Well, please don't think that your relationship hinges on what her parents think. She will have to decide to be with you or not. It doesn't even mean she needs to tell them everything right away. Maybe it's better that you two get together, see where the relationship is heading. And if you two decide you are made for each other then she probably will mind less about what her parents think. Sorry that you haven't met them yet, it would probably just make you love her all the more. I had the benefit of becoming great friends with my SO's parents BEFORE her and I fell for each other. So the trust is there.... Otherwise, they're mildly amused at us and don't criticize.