I'm crying right now, while posting this...

Yes, tears are running down my cheeks now while I'm posting this. I just can't stop myself from crying. I just need to let this out... :(

Today, I got to know that I will be going for a year of military service, starting next August. Of course, both me and Nat are very saddened by the thought, cause it means that for a year, we will hardly be seeing eachother, and we were uncertain on how our relationship would fare. We were however both certain that we wanted it to continue.

Then, during the course of the day, several reasons caused us to argue and triffle. Me, being the stupid *** again, let my pride get the better of me and let Nat go to bed while she was still upset, while I went to be with a friend who had come over. So, when Nat woke up, the tension was clear. She was still thinking about the military thing, which made the atmosphere very tense. Again, we started arguing...

Before we knew it, we were in an all-out arguement, with some really bad names being thrown around. Then Nat said she hated me, and things just escalated from bad into worse. Our pride got the better of us, and both of us seriously thought this was the end of it all. Tears were flowing down both our cheeks, and none of us could see a way to get back together again. Then Nat finally posted this final comment:

*Dayani whispers in your ear* Mommy says that she still loves you and that she wants to have me and Daniyal with you.

That comment just blew me away. Suddenly all the bad things and arguements were like vanished in thin air, and tears were rolling down my cheeks. But this time, it was happy tears.

Dayani is truly our guardian angel. No matter how far apart me and Nat go, Dayani has brought us back every time. When we hear the name, both of us just forget all the bad things we said and arguement.

To Zurai/Natasja, my one and only love, and to Dayani, our faithful Guardian Angel. How could I ever be lonely with the two of you in my life?
:bighug:

I am glad that you overcame your fight. When will you be leaving for the military? I am sorry you will be apart but you will see that the year will go whoosh and that you will be in each other arms again. :yes:

I'm curious about something. Was this your first real fight?

Hugs to you both.

An idea, instead of focusing on the pain of the separation can you both agree on a destination for a second meeting when you get back? That way, while you're gone, Nat will be able to make plans and write to you about them. (Will she be able to write?)

Just try to find something positive to focus on to carry you both through the year and hold very tightly to it. And Nat, come hang out here and we'll give you as many hugs as you need a day to make it.

You both can survive this; even though it feels like a kick to the stomach right now.

Dayani to the rescue again, I see. Well it doesn't surprise me, she's inherited both of your strongest traits. ;) :)

:grouphug:

Well I am happy that the bad tears turned to good tears. I understand the horrible power of the "big" fights, I think everyone does. Is Dayani your child? How sweet! :)

:bighug:

Hugs to you both.

"Dayani to the rescue again, I see. Well it doesn't surprise me, she's inherited both of your strongest traits."

Angel, that is one of the sweetest things I have read in a long while.


Haraio and Nat you seem to have something so special, do not lose hope. Remember Dayani is counting on you.... :yes:

I can just imagine how difficult it would be, to have someone you love..go into the military..but, I think the fighting is due to the stress of you leaving..I know for me, when I get scared, confused, sad, I could too just start a fight..because, of how bad I feel inside..so, just remember that in women..ok? Sometimes, as I'm sure it is with men, we just feel so bad..that we just crazy for a while, because we don't know what to do about it..

But, I think things are going to be ok..I mean, I hear the love you have towards one another..and nothing, can break that.. :)

nature

I am still wondering about this fight. I am guessing its a first and its simply horrible to have a first real fight and be miles apart. Its also horrible to get bad news and be miles apart. Angel's post is sweet and to the point. What you guys share, that pulled you together in the first place is still there. You have the gift of fantasy; I really believe that is a gift. It is what will sustain you through the hard times ahead. Try to put this all in the proper perspective and don't be tempted to blow things out of proportion. First big fight that was rooted in very real fear, and miles and miles between you....you are entitled to cry your eyes out! It will get better and you guys can handle this.

Oh my gawd, so many comments *chuckles* I had no idea I would get so many answers in less than 24 hours. Okay okay, I'll try to answer them all :tongue2:

Sheila:
I will most likely be leaving for military service in August '08, which means I'll be done in August the year after. I hope the year will go fast, cause I can't stand being away from my darling *hugs Nat* :tongue2:

Rozie:
We've had some arguements before, but not like last night, with namecalling and such. I was truly frightened that I might lose my one and only love :( That's why I was crying so much last night, cause I didn't want to lose her. I think the thought of me going to the military made us both very sensitive and emotional. Nat especially is very emotional (too emotional to actually post here), and I try to sooth her all the time :o

Angel:
We are actually talking about meeting in the summer, few months before I have to go to the military. The plan is that Nat will come and visit me in June or July, so that she can actually get to meet my family. Up until now, they've only seen her on pictures or on the webcam, but I want them to know the real Nat^^

And you people here better make sure that you give Nat all the hugs that she need while I'm away! :tongue2: I know she will need your support as well as mine to get through this^^

Yes, Dayani to the rescue, again. She is always there to stop us from arguing^^ Hmm, I don't think she likes it when we argue though :no:

Tspot:
Dayani is our imaginary child, that we have created together, since we want to have a real child together. For a better explanation, you should check the thread here in the LDR forum, named Dayani (http://www.agelesslove.com/boards/showthread.php?t=33227)^^

Babydoll:
Thank you so much! *me, Nat and Dayani hugs back* :tongue2:

Dmjoy:
Yes, Dayani is the sweetest thing in the world^^ And she is counting on us to make it through, so we will. We both want to have her, and I will not lose neither Nat or Dayani ^^

Naturewoman:
Yeah, the fighting is largely because we are both very stressed, I guess. The military thing, coupled with Christmas and my half-year exams coming up, making me very stressed and worried. But now we are closer than ever, like last night never happened. It's always like this. After a fight or arguement, we're always much closer to eachother in the end :bgrin2:



Thank you so much everyone for your kind words and encouragements. We will make it through this, and I promise you will get to see more pics of us together in the summer ^_~

awwwwww man! I am soooo sorry:( You to love each other deeply and will be OKAY oh its rough!! but you two are so beautiful together...youto will be okay!

YOU both are so loved here and we will make sure she is okay!

lots of love!

"Dayani to the rescue again, I see. Well it doesn't surprise me, she's inherited both of your strongest traits."

Angel, that is one of the sweetest things I have read in a long while.


:blush: Thank you!

Sometimes the truth is all we need to see. She is their strengths combined and I'm sure it's why she means so much to them.

Håkon/Nat - I wish I could make this all feel better, but I can't. And you can guarantee we'll (((hug))) Nat until her eyes are about to pop out from all the squeezin'. :D

You are a wonderful man Håkon and I'm sure we all understand how Ageless can be too painful for Nat to visit right now. Send her our love and once the sting of this news wears off a bit I'm sure she'll make her way here. Thank you for posting and keeping us involved in what is happening between you two. Your relationship is one of my favorite to follow here. :o

lol^^

Angel:
Lol, please don't squeeze her that hard. Cause you know, I love looking at her eyes ^_~ They are just so beautiful. And they turn me on so damn much :yes: lol

Yesh, I will send Nat all the love from you guys. Actually, I am sending her every post you guys and gals post here on the thread, so that she can read it *chuckles* We are so happy for all the love and support that you are sending our way^^

Hmm, why are we your favourites? *chuckles* Anything special about us? :tongue2:

Wesley:
Lol, you're not following Wes?^^

I'm from Norway, and I will be serving the obligatory first-time service which will last one year, and from the looks of it I will be serving in either the Artillery or the Armoured Division, about six hours by train north of here. So, that means I will only be able to see Nat like every second weekend or so, because we don't get much money while in the military (only like 17 USD a day, which means that I can't afford the train tickets every weekend :(). And Dayani is our imaginary child, the one that me and Nat are dreaming of having together^^

I'm sorry to hear this :(

But I'm pretty sure that the two of you will get through this one!!!

I think that there is much truth in: Was dosn't kill you, can only make you stronger!!!

:bighug: to you both!!!

Be positive & let your love be your strength!!! Best wishes & prayers!

Yes, tears are running down my cheeks now while I'm posting this. I just can't stop myself from crying. I just need to let this out... :(

Today, I got to know that I will be going for a year of military service, starting next August. Of course, both me and Nat are very saddened by the thought, cause it means that for a year, we will hardly be seeing eachother, and we were uncertain on how our relationship would fare. We were however both certain that we wanted it to continue.

Then, during the course of the day, several reasons caused us to argue and triffle. Me, being the stupid *** again, let my pride get the better of me and let Nat go to bed while she was still upset, while I went to be with a friend who had come over. So, when Nat woke up, the tension was clear. She was still thinking about the military thing, which made the atmosphere very tense. Again, we started arguing...

Before we knew it, we were in an all-out arguement, with some really bad names being thrown around. Then Nat said she hated me, and things just escalated from bad into worse. Our pride got the better of us, and both of us seriously thought this was the end of it all. Tears were flowing down both our cheeks, and none of us could see a way to get back together again. Then Nat finally posted this final comment:



That comment just blew me away. Suddenly all the bad things and arguements were like vanished in thin air, and tears were rolling down my cheeks. But this time, it was happy tears.

Dayani is truly our guardian angel. No matter how far apart me and Nat go, Dayani has brought us back every time. When we hear the name, both of us just forget all the bad things we said and arguement.

To Zurai/Natasja, my one and only love, and to Dayani, our faithful Guardian Angel. How could I ever be lonely with the two of you in my life?
:bighug:

How courageous and touching. The two of you are just about the most romantic couple I've seen. Your posts are so full of personality and spirit, I almost cried when I thought that you two might have split. But alas it was but a trifle, less than a ripple. Magnificent!

Keep the magic flowing. :yes:

How courageous and touching. The two of you are just about the most romantic couple I've seen. Your posts are so full of personality and spirit, I almost cried when I thought that you two might have split. But alas it was but a trifle, less than a ripple. Magnificent!

Keep the magic flowing. :yes:

I think this post sums up beautifully why I enjoy you both so much. I'm an emotional soul and your two are emotional as well. I attach strongly to that quality. :)

The spirit part. I agree that's the key. And I think the fact that you two are long distance brings forth that in both of you. It's probably your relationship's best feature to an outsider like me.

Wishing you both all the best!!!

I feel like crying now, too (with tears of frustration), because a member of my AL family is going off to war! How did you get yourself into this mess, Haraio? It's time to nurse an in-grown toenail, though a childhood friend used that to avoid the Vietnam Draft, I don't know if this would work with your current situation. Before anyone attacks me for cowardice, lack of back bone, etc., let me remind everyone here that the Neo-Cons, the Vice President, Karl Rove and Mr. Bush himself, all avoided serving in Vietnam by one trick or another. By the time my number came up I hadn't moved an inch towards Canada, nor did I cultivate an in-grown toenail; I was thankful as heck that my number was so high. Haraio, there's better ways to see the world than in enlisting. I realize that the bennies are good, but what's so good about losing an arm or portion of a leg for an ill-gotten war with nothing but an enduring hatred of America to ensue, regardless of how well the surge is going? Like Alan Greenspan says in his current memoir, "...the inconvenient truth of the Iraq war is oil."

I want you and Natty to remain together forever, always. Please excuse me my rant, because I blame the spineless Neo-cons for stealing away a member of my AL family.

I don't think he in-listed I think he has to go!!!

He didn't enlist. He was drafted. I've been told it's like that in Norway and Finnland. Maybe Sweden and Denmark too, but not sure.

However, he's not going off to war. He's going to be serving in a peace time military stationed in Norway. He indicated where he'll be stationed, and it sounds like in Norway. i.e. - not in a war zone anywhere. So he's not going off to war. He never mentioned anything about war or being shipped anyplace where a war is occurring. So this is an unfortuneate inconvenience that will last 1 year, not a life threatening situation.

Based on what I read and understood in his post(s).

EXACLTY....

Thank you everyone for the support and I really appreciate that every moment that you guys gives in for us. I know I should have posting this earlier but I don’t know, I don’t have the courage to do so tho..

First is I’m being so emotional each time when I remember the army and yes I know that he is not going to the war and such but the feeling without him sitting in front of me aka Skype talking and chatting with me, laughing at the silly things that we did and also sharing what we did. We are like a conjoin twins that cannot be separated (look at the bright side don’t think of us being siblings...that would be bad lol) especially missing all the pms that he always wrote to me before he went to bed which is always during winter time (time goes back an hour) or me sending him pms before I go to work so that he could read them when he is at school (that is during other seasons..). Not to mention the early hours in the morning that I woke up 2-3 hours before I go to work just to talk to him...I will miss that...Likewise...we talk to each other at least 2x a day...an hour or hour half in the early morning for me (cus of time different) and when he is back from school each day like 1-2 hrs...that is provided I don’t have to hear some nagging from the sister who would pull the plug(that pisses me off till now) just to have the PC. so inconsiderate...(always have this problem and just had the same problem an hour ago...) The best words she would say is "Your relationship is none of my problem" Can you imagine when Håkon goes to the army? He will only be back twice a week cus army don’t pay them well and he don’t have the money to go home each week..(Every day cut to every two weeks...can you see the different? *cries*) and imagine he has to fight for the pc when he is home? I wish they have the compromise when he goes to the army but I don’t see a point to it as it seems that she is conquering everything...

I know that we have to be strong but sometimes it just slipped out from our hands. I only have like 9 months or less to be with him or spend more with him before he goes…which I don’t get to see him or even hear from him…it is depressing ( I hope he can make a call or msg me on his cellphone which I don’t know if he can bring his phone…).

After seeing the post that you guys put up, I am really appreciated with all the caring that you do care for us, at least we are not alone anymore…at least I have Angel to squeeze me till my eyes pop up :bgrin2:

Håkon, my love, my life, my dearest, I will always be here waiting for you even tho it takes years. I promise you that.......:kiss2:

”Over and Over I fall
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn’t be living at all”

I really don’t know what to do when he is gone for a year….


P.S. Wesley...my name is Natasja not Natalie :p

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Natasja and Haakon. Please don't be too upset. Aren't you glad that we are not in 1940, where Haakon would be defending Norway against Germany's surprise attack, while Natasja waited for that precious letter from the war front that would arrive once every few months ?

I know it's hard when you're so used to the convenience of modern technology, but when you're in love, you will be able to evercome the distance.

I had a long distance relationship in the 80-s. It lasted for many years. I lived in Beirut at the time and he lived in California.

We either wrote to each other through Cyprus (the post office in Lebanon didn't function because of the war) or, I tried for HOURS to phone, heard his voice say "hello" and we would get cut off.

So really, I'm telling you all of this in order to encourage you to be patient. You will be OK :)

Maybe where Håkon is sent he will be able to use a cell phone (text messages), have e-mail and hopefully an internet cafe' near by?
You have eight months together before this happens....try to enjoy the now!
You both have a lot of people here praying for you...

I have to agree with all of you who've posted so far^^

Things could of course have been a lot worse for me and Nat, if this was a different time. I could well have been on my way to the Western front, or to the D-Day for that matter. Hell, if this was a different time me and Nat would most likely not have met in the beginning, without the power of the internet :p

Nat:
Yeah, I know my sister is a big pain in the rectum, and that she causes a lot of problems for us. The real problem though, is the fact that she doesn't realise the problems that she creates for us. All she thinks about is looking at her forums and watching her tv shows (Scrubs, One Tree Hill, ER, etc.).

What I'm sad about, is the fact that you've only gotten to see her bad side. You've only gotten to see her when she's a nagging, irritating brat (she's 15, for those who doesn't know), and she can be a real pain when she's nagging. She even pulls the plug on the pc if I refuse to give it to her :mad:

Bodhi:
Yeah, imagine if this was 1940. I would have most likely been in the guerilla defending Norway, always in the firing line. And Nat would have been in Singapore, when the Japanese invaded it. Would have been much worse, I agree. Luckily, we're in 2007^^

Btw, I'm a little curious, because of my love for history: Which war was that? I can't remember any wars during the 80's, though my memory may be patchy. All I remember from the 80's is the music :p

Dmjoy:
I doubt there will be any internet cafe nearby, since the camp is out on the... 'tundra' is the closest word I can think of. So, it's gonna be tens of kilometers to the nearest town. I asked my dad today, and it's gonna be like 10 hours to get home. Cause there's no trains that far north, I have to take bus (or maybe military plane) further south, and then take a train. So, between 5 and 10 hours to get here, depending on plane or train. Sucks... :(

Of course I will be bringing my cellphone, but I won't be allowed to carry it during the military practicing, so I can only message Nat in the evening. And even so, I can't message that much, or I will be emptying my money very quickly. I won't get much paid per day after all... :(

Wesley:
Yeah, everything could've been alot worse. Focusing on the good is the way to get through this thing. And we should enjoy the time that we have together before I have to go. After all, Nat might be coming over here in the summer ^_~ I can imagine when she gets off the plane. I would be pouncing on her the moment she step inside the door *chuckles*

Thank you everyone for support and good wishes. Me and Nat are both grateful to have friends such as you^^

I assumed that the Armed Forces was all volunteer and that the draft was gone. Please school me somebody.

Norway has mandatory military service of nineteen months for men between the ages of 18.5 (17 with parental consent) and 44 (55 in case of war). Beginning in 2006, the armed forces will also invite females to take a pre-service medical examination, but they will not be drafted unless they sign a declaration of willingness. The actual draft time is six months for the home guard, and twelve months for the regular army, air force and navy.

The remaining months are supposed to be served in annual exercises, but very few conscripts do this because of lack of funding for the Norwegian armed forces. As a result of this decreased funding and greater reliance on high technology, the armed forces are aiming towards drafting only 10,000 conscripts a year. The remainder, for the most part, either are formally dismissed after medical tests or obtain deferral from the service because of studies or stays abroad.

Some, such as those who choose vocational course paths during high school (for example, carpenters and electricians) opt to complete their required apprenticeships within the military. While some Norwegians consider it unfair that they have to complete the compulsory military duty when so many others are dismissed, others see it as a privilege and there is normally high competition to be allowed to join some branches of the service. Employers often show favorable regard to those who complete their military service, although many do not care.

The Norwegian armed forces will normally not draft a person who has reached the age of 28. In Norway, certain voluntary specialist training programs and courses entail extended conscription of one to eight years. Pacifists can apply for non-military service, which lasts 12 months.


Copied from Wikipedia :p

Btw, I'm a little curious, because of my love for history: Which war was that? I can't remember any wars during the 80's, though my memory may be patchy. All I remember from the 80's is the music :p


The civil war in Lebanon Haraio, 1975 - 1990 and Beirut is the Capital where I was born and lived till I was 25.

Wesley:
lol, my name is Haraio, not Hario^^ Or Haakon, if you want to use my real name^^

Technically, Norway is participating in the War in Afghanistan, but we have no offensive forces there. Norway is part of the ISAF force, and as such we only have medic teams and military engineers there. But just recently a Norwegian soldier was killed there. He was actually talking with his father on the phone, when the vehicle he was sitting in hit a mine. Norway is not used to suffering military losses, so there's been lots of debate here in Norway the last week :(

In Norway, people are first called into a thing called session, when they are 18 1/2, where military personell and a doctor determine how fit a person is for military service, graded from 1 to 9. You go through lots of tests, among them theoretical test with math and geometry, vision, hearing, weight, height, bloodpressure, lungs and such, as well as physical and mental shape. If you score a 1 in any of the tests, you are unfit for service, and you'll never hear from the military again :p If you score a 2 to 4 in any of the tests, you will be transfered to civil service, which is non-military service. If you get all tests 5 or more, you're fit for military service.

Since the military only take in like 10,000 recruits, the ones who are best qualified are put at the top of the list. Somehow, I managed to get a 9 on every test :eek: Am I the perfect human? :p lol

This, of course, means that I will with all likelyness be attending military service from august '08. I chose the Artillery and the Armoured Division as my two wishes, as they are the two divisions that seems the most interesting. That, and they are the two closest ones. They are actually in the same camp, in the inland up north^^

Bodhi:
Oh, the Lebanese Civil War? I didn't know that :p
Thank you very much! *runs off to read about it on Wiki*
lol :tongue2:

Here's a thought that may make things feel a bit better.

Håkon - Can you start saving today for a laptop?

You both could start a "for us" fund so that when that time does come around you can purchase a laptop and be able to speak freely when your time is available?

This would alleviate so much pain for Nat right now if, at the very least, she knew she could count on you being 100% available when you are home.

It doesn't have to be anything fantastic either. Just something that can hook up to the internet with Skype (or whatever you use) and log onto a messenger program and the forums you two visit.

(((Nat))) (((Håkon))) What a cruel hand you both have been dealt here.

But I hold faith, like I know you both do, and believe that no matter what you two will make it through this and come out feeling stronger for it.

I know you both discussed eventually relocating to the other. Has there been any further talks about that timeline? You plan on meeting again, and then what happens? I only keep directing you to these thoughts because you want to begin tempering this horrible situation with one you can control a bit more (your future).

(And you are very brave for posting Nat, don't doubt yourself for it. Bravery is standing strong to what you believe even if it feels like it would break your heart.) :bighug: