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You Know You're A Redneck If .... (Guy Joke)

Geo55
12-08-2007, 05:04 AM
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is a vice on the work bench.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

scott2075
12-08-2007, 06:21 PM
I've always loved the redneck jokes!! LOL :D

LadyInWaiting
12-08-2007, 09:01 PM
Fully one half of those items refer to my daughter's future in-laws. And yes, the directions to where they live include "turn off the paved road".

And....you can bag a deer from your front porch.

CabinFever
12-08-2007, 11:59 PM
LOL...those are great! I live out in the boonies and some of these ring true for people in my area.

grumpysgirl
12-09-2007, 12:37 PM
LOL Uncle Georgy had some good ones! can I pull your finger! LOL

OKAY if you see the word CONCENTRATE on a can of orange juice and you really try to..you are a redneck

If you hear the word ho-down and your gal drops to the floor you might be a redneck..heard these a few days ago..SIGH LOL

Guess Who!
12-10-2007, 12:07 AM
You know you're a redneck if you go to a family reunion looking for a date.

Guess Who!

Geo55
12-10-2007, 03:25 AM
... Uncle Georgy had some good ones! can I pull your finger...

http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h51/gp_fillmore/pullmyfinger.jpg

Lovaholic
12-10-2007, 07:26 AM
LMAO my ym is a redneck & it's a riot. At the moment I have a deer carcass in my garage & a deer leg laying on my front step! (my puppy found it in the garage) The best part is I live in a very "white collar" neighborhood, manicured lawns, million dollar homes & then ME!!! Ha I love being a rebel. A redneck rebel at that!!!:bgrin2:

grumpysgirl
12-22-2007, 12:47 AM
ROFL! george you silly thing!


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