Is this normal?

Ok, so now the time is coming very close that Bob is going to be here, and I will be going back with him. Much of my stuff is packed, things on my "to do" list are being checked off one by one. When we talk on the phone I get this excited, giddy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I think about finally being with him for good and how much I've longed for this and I'm happy.

But then I think about home. Here. My family. And I feel terribly sad. Regrets of all the times I snapped at my mom or got into an arguement with my sister or said I was too tired to play with my nephew and niece or felt annoyed by something my dad said just seem to be plaguing me lately. I know it's not like I'm never going to see my family again and Bob and I might even move here in the future, but that dosen't stop the missing in my heart.

Is this normal? I've wanted to be with Bob for so long and now it's finally happening, I've been crying over missing my family, and regretting all the stupid things I've said or thought about them in the past and meanwhile I haven't even moved yet.

But then again, before Bob and I started making plans for us to be together, I felt a longing and a missing for him

I suppose in LDR's you're always going to be missing someone, not unless everyone you love is (physically) close to you.

Just wanted to share my thoughts.

:bighug: Hey lady!

A question: how far away will you be moving?

And an answer for you: yes, of course it's normal! You're about to embark on a new part of your journey; change and beginnings are scary and confusing times for everyone!

Big hugs to you.

:bighug: Hey lady!

A question: how far away will you be moving?

And an answer for you: yes, of course it's normal! You're about to embark on a new part of your journey; change and beginnings are scary and confusing times for everyone!

Big hugs to you.

Thank you, larasteele.:)

I will be moving about 640 miles away. Not as far as some LD couples who finally get together but I might as well be moving to the other side of the world.

I've always been pretty emotional when it comes to change. 8 years ago when I moved from the house I had lived in for 20 years to the house I'm currently living in, I felt all the emotions of missing what was familiar and a little fear of the new turns my life was taking. Soon after I realized that the move was a positive aspect in my life and I became comfortable in my new surroundings.

Aww, 640 miles! I know it feels like a whole lot right now, but it's not so bad. That's a 10-12 hour drive, a short hop on a plane.... I know, it feels like so much more right now; try to remember that you can stay connected with your loved ones in other ways.

Plus, you will be distracted enough with unpackng and spending time with your man that you may be less homesick than you are expecting.

I understand homesickness...I still get it, from time to time, especially right around the holidays. But, once you have made your life: job, school, church, whatever; new friends, new places you love--it will be better.

By the way: it's okay to be sad about these things, even when you think you should be just excited and happy for your relationship. I'm sure you know it is okay but I though you might need to hear it. :)

By the way: it's okay to be sad about these things, even when you think you should be just excited and happy for your relationship. I'm sure you know it is okay but I though you might need to hear it. :)

That's exactly what I needed to hear. :yes:

It took my fiance a good 1-2 years :eek: to adjust to the point that he didn't feel equally torn between his love for me and his love for his family.

I think it's perfectly normal to feel what you're feeling Michele.

Time will ease that pain, but it will never completely erase it. In a perfect world we'd all live close to our family and never have to be apart, because we know time is precious.

Know that the best gift you can give you family is the knowledge that your safe and and your heart is happy.

Have you thought about purchasing a web cam for your family and give it to them before you leave? We use one here and we really like being able to wave hi and see each other when we're talking on the phone.

My fiance doesn't use it always, but when he's missing them it brings him some comfort to be able to see them. Just a thought. :)

Perfectly normal, yes.

Even though I was excited about being able to be with Donna properly, I was sad to be leaving my family and friends behind. I thought I was coping with it really well, and then when my parents visited for a week I got massively upset for a couple of days. It hit me out of nowhere!

I think its normal and its is very much how I am feeling as I approach my move south. I know my family won't visit me when I move in with this YM (no one from my family has visited me in current home since my divorce.) In my case the move will actually fuel the fire, because my family has been openly disapproving of my relationship. So, I approach this move with some trepidation. Its hard to lose or leave family; in your case you are only moving, you'll still be available to them and they to you, in every other way except distance. You'll be fine! :)

perfectly normal.
a big change...give yourself time to adjust...for it to become the normal.

It took my fiance a good 1-2 years :eek: to adjust to the point that he didn't feel equally torn between his love for me and his love for his family.

I think it's perfectly normal to feel what you're feeling Michele.

Time will ease that pain, but it will never completely erase it. In a perfect world we'd all live close to our family and never have to be apart, because we know time is precious.

Know that the best gift you can give you family is the knowledge that your safe and and your heart is happy.

Have you thought about purchasing a web cam for your family and give it to them before you leave? We use one here and we really like being able to wave hi and see each other when we're talking on the phone.

My fiance doesn't use it always, but when he's missing them it brings him some comfort to be able to see them. Just a thought. :)

Thank you, Angel :bighug:

I know that being busy with Bob once I do move will help me focus on what I have and not what I'm missing. It's strange but the times I visited him, I'm having such a nice time I'm not really missing my family. I'm hoping it will be the same once I'm living out there.

It's funny you should mention a web cam. Just today, my sister asked me what I would like for a Christmas gift and I did mention a web cam. So maybe "Santa" will give me one this year. ;)

Perfectly normal, yes.

Even though I was excited about being able to be with Donna properly, I was sad to be leaving my family and friends behind. I thought I was coping with it really well, and then when my parents visited for a week I got massively upset for a couple of days. It hit me out of nowhere!

Thank you, Rob. :bighug:

Yes, sometimes I think "oh yes, I could definitely do this. I'm fine with it...." and then *boom!* I get really sad and lonely for my family wondering if I could really do this. It just comes out of nowhere. So I cry and let it all out and feel good once again.

I think its normal and its is very much how I am feeling as I approach my move south. I know my family won't visit me when I move in with this YM (no one from my family has visited me in current home since my divorce.) In my case the move will actually fuel the fire, because my family has been openly disapproving of my relationship. So, I approach this move with some trepidation. Its hard to lose or leave family; in your case you are only moving, you'll still be available to them and they to you, in every other way except distance. You'll be fine! :)

Thank you, Rozie :bighug:

I'm sorry your family doesn't approve your relationship. I hope someday they will come around and see that you're happy.

perfectly normal.
a big change...give yourself time to adjust...for it to become the normal.

thank you christina923 :bighug:

It's comforting to know I'm not the only one. :)

I moved back in August. Yes, I'm still about 2 hours from him...but, I've also been seeing him just about every weekend since I've moved.

I left a place that I didn't like. Yet, at the same time, I also came to a place where I'm not in a position to see my family as often. It's still a plane ride...but it's once every 4 months, as opposed to once a month.

I think it's absolutely normal to be apprehensive about the change. And, I would encourage you to embrace it.

Wishing you the best. :D

Totally normal.

I cried most of the way from TX to NC. The first year was the hardest..and the first holidays away from home were HARD.

Don't be afraid to cry and be sad...it's very normal. Things will get easier and better.

Just keep telling yourself that you can always go home to visit and your family can always come visit you. Plus being able to see Bob's face everyday will totally be worth it. But that doesn't mean there won't be hard days.

((((HUG))))

I'm so excited for you....but would I want to do it all over again? Heck no! It's hard. :D But you can do it. :D

Nadine.

It's totally normal.

I loved my husband so much, I couldn't imagine life with out him...but at the same time I couldn't (and still can't) imagine life with out my family.

Leaving my mom, granny, and my dog was/is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Not a day goes by that I don't miss them and pray that they are not hurting b/c of my decision.

However, I do not regret my decision. I love my husband and I feel blessed that we have had this time together. We have both been away from our families and spending a year being truly just the two of us has really made us so close and stable in our relationship.

We don't plan to be away from my family forever, so I always try to look on the bright side, knowing that one day (God willing) I will be physically close to my mom and granny again. In the mean time, we talk on the phone a lot and send emails every day..my mom comes to visit me at least once a year and I spend the summers in America. It gives us something to look forward to and that is truly a special blessing as well...

It's all about how you look at things. On one hand I am so sad because my mom will not be here when I deliver my baby, but on the other hand I keep thinking about how magical it will be when she gets off the plane and her new grandson is there waiting for her!

It also helps to have a supportive family...my mom and I work on the "if you're ok, I'm ok" theory. If she knows that I'm ok with everything then she is ok with everything, and if I know she is ok with everything then I am ok with everything...so we both do our best to be "ok" and to look at the bright side or our situation and in the end we both end up being "ok"...

Hang in there, there will always be rough spots but in the end you will totally adjust. In fact, I find myself already thinking about all the things I'll miss about our life here in Riyadh when we move back to be near my family...

I think it's absolutely normal to be apprehensive about the change. And, I would encourage you to embrace it.

Wishing you the best. :D

Thank you, Mishigas73 :bighug:

Yep, that's my biggest obstacle: embracing change. This is a huge step for me and I know it will all be worthwhile.

Totally normal.

I cried most of the way from TX to NC. The first year was the hardest..and the first holidays away from home were HARD.

Don't be afraid to cry and be sad...it's very normal. Things will get easier and better.

Just keep telling yourself that you can always go home to visit and your family can always come visit you. Plus being able to see Bob's face everyday will totally be worth it. But that doesn't mean there won't be hard days.

((((HUG))))

I'm so excited for you....but would I want to do it all over again? Heck no! It's hard. :D But you can do it. :D

Nadine.

Thank you, Nadine :bighug:

I'm relieved to know that people such as yourself who have been through this understand that even though I'm sad about leaving my family, it doesn't mean that I don't want this. :)

It's totally normal.

I loved my husband so much, I couldn't imagine life with out him...but at the same time I couldn't (and still can't) imagine life with out my family.

Leaving my mom, granny, and my dog was/is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Not a day goes by that I don't miss them and pray that they are not hurting b/c of my decision.

However, I do not regret my decision. I love my husband and I feel blessed that we have had this time together. We have both been away from our families and spending a year being truly just the two of us has really made us so close and stable in our relationship.

We don't plan to be away from my family forever, so I always try to look on the bright side, knowing that one day (God willing) I will be physically close to my mom and granny again. In the mean time, we talk on the phone a lot and send emails every day..my mom comes to visit me at least once a year and I spend the summers in America. It gives us something to look forward to and that is truly a special blessing as well...

It's all about how you look at things. On one hand I am so sad because my mom will not be here when I deliver my baby, but on the other hand I keep thinking about how magical it will be when she gets off the plane and her new grandson is there waiting for her!

It also helps to have a supportive family...my mom and I work on the "if you're ok, I'm ok" theory. If she knows that I'm ok with everything then she is ok with everything, and if I know she is ok with everything then I am ok with everything...so we both do our best to be "ok" and to look at the bright side or our situation and in the end we both end up being "ok"...

Hang in there, there will always be rough spots but in the end you will totally adjust. In fact, I find myself already thinking about all the things I'll miss about our life here in Riyadh when we move back to be near my family...

Thank you, Amina. :bighug:

I also look at the fact that maybe someday Bob and I will move closer to my family. We've talked about several options. Right now it's easiest for me to move to him.

My sister even pointed out "Hey, you never know, you might love it out there and not care if you move closer to home." Maybe. I just have to take the time to adjust to everything.