Just Curious

I started dating my current girlfriend while in my hometown for the summer break from college. We had known each other and worked at the same local beach grill for 3 years and finally realized the feelings for each other were impossible to ignore. We also have the same circle of friends, etc. All these factors make for a solid foundation and a great solid relationship.

Problem is, I already got admitted to another college in another town before all this. Currently were 3 1/2 - 4 hours drive apart, which I know is laughable compared to some of the others on here. Regardless, it only allows for weekend visits and I really dont like talking on the phone. Its not an issue with her personally, I just dont like the phone, I'd rather see people face to face.

So in consequence, I've been pondering the notion of transferring to that school for a while. We've been together nearly 5 months, does anybody think this is too soon? It is also where I want to go to law school after my undergrad and even settle down possibly. Plus we have alot of friends there as with here I havent met any cool interesting people. So itd be a mult-faceted decision, not just about her, which makes me want to do it all the more. Thoughts? opinions? similar stories? Oh yeah she's also 5 years older than me (18/23).

Here's my take on any situation like this: If, in your moment of most lucidity and logic about this, you wouldn't say "YES, I WANT to move there", then hold off.

You've brought up the idea that it may be too soon. And, again, I will say, if in your time of most lucidity and logic about this, you have that reservation, then hold off.

Moving FOR someone is a huge deal. And, while it may not be your only reason for doing it, that reasoning is still there. So, take some time and think about it. What happens if this doesn't work out? Will you still be content being there? (Once again, answer that in your moment of most logic and lucidity.)

I moved to be within driving distance of my man in August. The decision was WAY easy for me, since I really didn't like where I was anyway, and I'm used to moving around. But...even then...there's still a pressure here. Right now, I'm working at finding a balance between this relationship and the rest of my life, which is particularly hard, since I joined a curling league with him and have that obligation, whether I like it or not.

As far as schools go. There are many law schools out there, no? Take that out of the picture. That's 4 years down the road as well.

Yeah I'm pretty used to moving too. In my 18 short years I've moved 8 times. One of which was from Hawaii to the east coast of the continental US, so a move four hours down the road isnt what i'd consider too big an "upheaval".

Also, shes not pressurring me to do it, it was a completely autonomous idea and something I want to do. It wouldnt take place till a year down the road anyway. I wouldnt consider it, or even got involved with her in the first place, had we not have been such good friends previously. But I knew the person well and did not want to miss out on an awesome mate. Otherwise, yeah five months into it with somebody brand new would be sketchy. I'm already familiar with the town because I drove to visit her and other friends from time to time before becoming romantically involved and drive their every other weekend currently.

Im far ahead in studies right now because of all the college courses I took in high school and plan on taking summer school quite a bit so law school is much closer than 4 years. Its a lengthy process meant to be started early on (registration, letters of recommendation, studying for the LSAT, etc.) And their are no law schools in this town so I need to be looking anyway.

Lifes too short to be away from the ones you love. Thanks for the insight, and good luck in the new place!

Its a lengthy process meant to be started early on (registration, letters of recommendation, studying for the LSAT, etc.) And their are no law schools in this town so I need to be looking anyway.


"Early on" is a matter of perspective. (Yes, I've been through it myself).

It was about 6 months for me, start to finish.

But, just THINK about this. Don't use law school as an excuse in any way.