Dealing with stupid people: A rant

The problem with being someone who tends to give people the benefit of the doubt is that you open yourself up to what happened to me on Saturday afternoon.

The positive side of that is that you get to blow people's minds. :bgrin2:

I travel from Washington state to Vancouver on the weekends to curl. Inevitably, after our game, we end up chatting over a couple of Kokanees. I've met a terrific bunch of people up there, without a doubt. And others that simply could never be more than "people I curl with".

This one guy, I simply haven't liked from the beginning. There was something just "off" about him, you know? I only really deal with him, because I adore two of his friends, and I don't want to lose that.

Sooo...with that being said, I was sitting around on Saturday afternoon at the club with this guy, my OM, my OM's brother and my OM's friend, who's become a dear friend of mine as well.

The topic of American politics came up, and I just sat back to listen. (I find it's just more fun that way. :) ).

My OM got up to leave the room for a couple of minutes, and I'm truly GRATEFUL for that, because he would have gone ballistic if he had been privy to this guy's comment, on the topic of "American politics".

"Gee", he said, "you know, I really dislike the Jews".

(Even typing that, I'm chuckling.....I mean, WHO SAYS THAT in mixed company??)

Anyway, I looked over at my OM's brother and his friend, with this dumbfounded look on my face. I wouldn't have said a word myself, but my OM's brother jumped right in. "You know", he said, pointing to me, "she's Jewish". And, the look on this guy's face after that was....priceless.

Hey, that's a good Mastercard commercial:

Cost to be in a curling league: 170 dollars.

Cost of a couple of Kokanees after curling: 10 dollars.

The look on an anti-Semite's face when he finds out that someone who he likes is Jewish: priceless.

I'd like to give this guy enough credit to believe that he learned something from this experience, but I know, in my gut, it's just not the case. And, that's what this rant is about. I've learned so much going up to Canada so frequently. I've come to understand a LOT about what it means to be proud of who you are and where you come from. And, honestly, as I was telling a couple of people just on Friday night, I've never met a prouder group of people than Canadians (and I say that in the NICEST way possible).

And then THIS comes up. It just goes to show that there are good and bad in every group. And that I should just continue "going with my gut" in terms of my feelings about people. I didn't like this guy from the start....and I was proven right.

Going against my mother's suggestion this evening, I WILL still have something to do with him, because I want to continue to be the same emissary that I was before. Even though I thought I was just being a good emissary for America, I guess we can also add Judaism to that mix.

GAH....stupid people.

You know, there are just multitudes of ignorant people, apparently. Like you said, who the heck blurts something like that out in a group of people...

I'm curious..did he apologize to you, after he got over being stunned?

And your right about the gut instinct, you should definitely follow it. Sometimes I meet people and just get an uncomfortable feeling. At the time I don't even know why, but in the end, it almost always turns out Im right. I even tell James.."I just get that icky feeling when Im around so-and so". I guess that's part of the reason why I have very few close friends.....

Holy cow, I can't believe anyone would think that way, let alone express it. How ridiculous. What an ignoramus.

I'm curious..did he apologize to you, after he got over being stunned?


No, not outright. However, he did listen and ask questions when I told him about visiting Israel in 1986, all the places I went there, and things like that. It DID bother me that he was mixing up "Israelis" with "Jews" (in that he was using the terms interchangably), but we got that straightened out as well. I *do* give him credit for doing this, but since there were other people there (including my OM at that point), it's not like he could have done much else.

Funny though, as he got up to leave, he didn't wish me a "happy holiday". Actually, now that I think about it, he didn't even say good-bye.

I guess being low-class isn't relegated to any particular nationality, race, creed, religion, etc, etc.

Holy cow, I can't believe anyone would think that way, let alone express it. How ridiculous. What an ignoramus.

A lot of people have pre-conceived notions, stereotypical views, however you wish to put it. And, in some cases, I really *can* understand where it comes from.

For example, the man that I adored more than anything said something to me very early on in our relationship. I was saying something about my father, and it segued into him speaking of the "penny-pinching Jews" or something like that. Frankly, I was devastated at the time, but, since this guy was obviously otherwise intelligent and caring, I spoke with him about it, and began to understand where he was coming from. Even though he was older, he was simply a product of his environment when it came to this. He lived most of his life outside of major cities/suburbs, in an area that simply doesn't have a large population of Jewish people. No matter how "open-minded" you are, if you don't have personal experience with a group of people, stereotypes and stories from others tend to sink in.

I am happy to say that he was open-minded enough to understand who *I* was, and a couple of months later, I sent him a menorah and we lit the Hanukkah lights together and said the prayers over the phone. He loved to say that he was probably one of two people in his town who had one. (I *think* there was "old Mrs Shapiro" too. :) )

I contrast this to the guy that I wrote this thread about. Someone who has lived in Vancouver all of his life, and who works and travels in places where he meets a LOT of diverse people. In my mind, there is no excuse for it. And, in ANY situation, there is no excuse for his comment in a group of people like we were in.

My mother said that she thought that I should just ignore him from here out. I think the better course of action is just to be who I've been all along. That'll just freak him out even more. :bgrin2:

Mishigas--GOOD FOR YOU!!! I am so pleased that you will meet this man on a higher vibrational level. You may or may not impact his beliefs, they are so very deeply embedded, but you may be part of a bigger process than you know and who knows, in ten years--his beliefs may be different.

I LUV it!! :D

Hahaha! I love the mastercard priceless script you just gave! LOL!
He is a richard cranium. LOL

I'd like to give that guy a piece of my mind!!!

http://i245.photobucket.com/albums/gg48/compics/PaperBagHeadPointingatYou.jpg

That sucks, but I'm glad it opened up a dialogue.

In any event, I feel your pain because this kind of thing happens to me all the time - although not as much since I started covering my hair and wasn't a "covert" Muslim anymore. But, it's shocking how many people still can't figure out that I'm Muslim based on the way I dress simply b/c the whole white/American thing throws them off . Doesn't bother me that much though, I'd rather see people for what they really are than have them say things behind my back. I also look at each of these uncomfortable situations as opportunities to educate someone.

This guy in the bar is just stupid, he clearly doesn't know anything about anything. The people who scare me the most are the very intelligent, educated, "worldly" folks who still manage to hate entire groups of people.

Your statement about Jew/Israeli - do you mean he thought all Jews were Zionists (which they aren't of course), do you mean that he thought all Israelis are Jews (which they aren't of course) or do you mean that this guy actually thought that the word Israeli was synonymous with the word Jew? Just wondering about the depth of his ignorance.

Your statement about Jew/Israeli - do you mean he thought all Jews were Zionists (which they aren't of course), do you mean that he thought all Israelis are Jews (which they aren't of course) or do you mean that this guy actually thought that the word Israeli was synonymous with the word Jew? Just wondering about the depth of his ignorance.

Maybe a little bit of all of the above?

I think it was mostly "all Jews are Israelis", but frankly, even thinking about it is giving me a headache. :(