Mr. 29M is not interested anymore.

Hey guys and gals...

Bad news... last time i was gushing about how much I like this guy that I met on a dating website. He is a 29M who lived in DC (I'm a 22 YM)...like 15 minutes away from me.. We talked for a couple of months but never got a chance to meet because he was always busy with his accountant job and he always went out of town or back to his hometown of Jersey City. Recently or yesterday, he broke the news to me saying that he just got a job offer working for one of the biggest financial institutions in NYC. Therefore, he is not coming back to DC and staying in NYC which sucks for me. He said that I'm a very cool girl and that it sucks that none of this could work out for us. He says he want to meet me someday since he will be coming back to DC at least once a month since some of his friends live around the area....and he said hopefully we'll get a chance to meet up one of those times.. I mean I don't know he seemed kinda half happy and half bummed that he took the job offer because I guess he couldnt see me as much after we meet and he missed DC or something... I was like there are girls up there in NYC and he was like...well let's just be friends and see where things go, okay? but then he told me that if any love interests arise that I shouldn't give them up because he doesn't think long distance relationships can work... since DC to NYC is like a 4 hour drive.. so i am kinda confused? I know I shouldnt hold on to hope for us to be together...but at one point he wants to see where things go with us and at another, he doesnt believe in long distance relationships???

Ya, i'm not going to lie..i'm kinda disappointed and I miss him and I want to be more than friends with him. We understand each others quirkiness and humor and i just love talking to him cuz we click..but I want him to have this job, it sounds like it could turn his life around for the better.. ya know? He told me that it sucks because its like a fish is slipping by...he said, "you know you are way better than me...you're really cool girl"...then at the end of the phone conversation, he was like, "...I'm going to take a drive around and take a deep breath..." *sighs* i cried after I got off the phone, I mean, yea we'll still talk on the phone and email each other and everything....but i dont know if things will be the same as before between us... Right now, I'm wondering if he was sincere about missing me and being bummed of letting me go OR if he was just rejecting me in a really nice way???

I miss him....and if I had it my way, I would want to be with him in NY, but I guess I would be thinking with my heart and not my brain.

I do believe I met him for a reason...so I am grateful to have one extra friend but man, i guess it hurts a little now because I did like him alot.

Sorry to hear he is moving away, I know you are going to miss him.

But you never know what the future holds....

Maybe that saying is true .. " Absence makes the heart grow fonder " ..... I wish you the best of luck .. I know when the heart longs for someone .. it's hard to take any advice .. good luck and keep us posted ;)

I think its just not meant to be. LDR's are possible if partners have a need and desire to sustain them. I think this guy is not willing or feeling any need, so in your shoes I would look ahead to other possibilites. If you guys want a friendship, terrific!! Just make sure you keep it a friendship only thing. Sex has a way of altering the dynamics of a relationship and in this case could mean a heapful of heartache.

Hi! Sorry you are hurting.

Here's my advice. Move on with your life. The way you've written your post reveal that your gut tells you that he was not sincere about the possibility of a relationship. Trust your instincts. It appears that he was trying to let you down easy. If he really liked you he would have probably suggested meeting up in short order to see if the chemistry exists in person and then you two could decide if the friendship is worth taking to the next level. He travels frequently so this shouldn't be a problem. Remember that on-line relationships are fickle until you actually meet in person and you have ascertained the facts about the individuals life, as some people develop on-line friendships/relationships without any intention of transferring it to real life.

By all means keep him as friend, but guard your heart. Continue to live your life as you did before you ever 'met' this guy. You are right, you met him for a reason. Take the lessons learned from your contact with him and step into 2008 with renewed hope, paving the way for the positive things that await you in the coming months and years.


All the best!:yes: