Man-Wh0re for rent

Fully qualified Man-Wh0re is available to OW who need special attention.

Skills set includes cuddling, hugging, kissing, listening, romance, cooking nice meals, hot oil massages, cunning linguistics, and steamy lovemaking.

This Man-Wh0re has a complete set of VERY good references, so quality is assured. You will hear strange animal noises, and then realize you are the one making them.



;)

How much ???

Princessdy :D

Prices are negotiable, and barter is acceptable.

LOL! And did he mention his newly purchased turbocharger?

Mmmmmmmm wonder if he does a special rate for overseas clients???

Could do with a 'hot oil massage' or 2 ;) or more even :D
Not to mention all the hugs an cuddles going :D
As for the last couple of items on the menu, would need a refresher course :(

So come on what is the rate for 'Overseas' clients Ronin????




T T Ttttttturbo-charger Joannalee??? He has a Turbo-charger??????? Phew!!!!!!!! <blushes>

Not to disagree Joannalee ;), but I believe the turbo charger is NOT new ... This man was turbo charged wayyyyyyy before this ad, ha, ha.

Princessdy :D

Actually the turbocharger is new, only since the nitrous oxide ran out, I needed something different.

Not to worry, the "Blairmaster" is still a high preformance machine.

Overseas clients are accepted under the same criteria as all others Shewolf, however you have to pay the shipping costs.

Don't forget, you can always "work it off" ;)

Ronin, Just what is Fedex charging to ship a package first class to Southern England these days????? Can they get it to me like yesterday??? :D



Am intrigued by the idea of being able to "work it off" tho' do elucidate :D

But for a 235 lb package, I bet it costs a mint. They can get there within three days though.


As for working it off . . . I'll let you use your imagination.

;)

DOES HE DO WINDOWS???

I think he is listening for those animal noises, Blondie. :) The ones he inspires with all the cunning linguistics. Who says the art of conversation is dead?

. . . and that's not all!

I'm multi talented.

I think you could find better things for me to do than windows, but I'm not above pitching in.

OMG - this is SO cute!! Hey ronon - you better be glad all us ladies around here know you. Some guys have been blasted outta here for less subtle posts lol :p But since we all know and love you, go for it Blairmaster!!

Hey Snow P - some people do their housecleaning nekked :eek: (or so I've heard)!!!

Southerngal

Anybody who's been in the chatroom in the last week will know all about the Man-ho thing. and yes, you all should know me well enough to understand that this is just a joke.

well, it's mostly a joke anyhow, heh heh:p

MOSTLY ??? Ha, ha ... Is he adorable or what ???

Princessdy ....

Well . . . I'm not "what", so that leaves only one option.
:D

and SG, I might be persuaded to do some naked housecleaning for a few special ladies here. I could use some naked help though ;)

You go boy! We can always use witty naked guys around here. :D

Hmmmmmm, and just what might we look forward to Al .... Ever so curious ... :)

Princessdy

See this ad here of mine just confirms what I've been saying all along. Women want some boy-toy they can use and abuse as they see fit - and I am just that guy!


They only say they want nice sweet men, till they get you alone, then look out!

Just the way I like it. :D

Yikes, we've been found out ... Not only is he cute, but clever as well ;)

Princessdy

But Al ... what I say is a GOOD thing ... not bad :)

And I have left you not ... just perhaps a slight change of direction now and then ;) ???

Princessdy

Moonshadow I like your little joke! julie

Anything is better if you do it naked, naked is good, I love naked.

Ok, well, except you don't want to fry bacon naked.

;)

Shoot, I don't mind doing the windows...I need a nekkid man who cleans bathrooms and does laundry...LOL.

What a good idea, having a naked guy around to do all those boring household chores :D

U any good at ironing Ronin?? .....
I have alway wanted to spend a relaxed afternoon, chilling, an watching a cute looking, naked guy do the ironing ;) ........ It would turn a mind numbingly boring chore into a spectator sport ;) :)



Hmmmmmm, maybe this belongs on the Fantasies thread :D

I'm very good at ironing, though I don't do it often. I can starch a shirt so well that it stands up all by itself, and iron a crease sharp enough to shave with.

But remember, this thread is entitled "Man-Wh0re for rent", not "Manservant for rent".

I'm sure you could find more entertaining things for me to do.

Gee, now that I'm listing all my skills and good points here, I've realized that I'm the perfect man. So, if you want my time, you'll have to fill out an application.

It's a wonder I'm still single. :eek:

But remember, this thread is entitled "Man-Wh0re for rent", not "Manservant for rent".

I'm sure you could find more entertaining things for me to do.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------


Ronin do u really think that that I could sit around watching u all cute an naked, doing all those chores an not come up with more entertaining things for u to do??????? ;) ..... Am not an icemaiden u know!!


Prospective clients have to fill in an application form now huh??? OK I am game send me a copy :)

Sheeeeeeeeeesh........ The lengths a girl has to go to, to get her hands on a nice guy :D

Don't ever, EVER, call me a nice guy!

Nice guys finish last.

I'm here to win.

:( :( :( Oh well, guess I will not be wanting that application form then :( :( :(

I am one of those strange females who is only interested in Nice Guys ............

I'll be nice to you, don't worry about that.

I just don't like the label, it chafes me. I think I'm a little too mischevious for that anyway, but I treat my lady well.

What, nobody wants to rent me?

Ah Ronin, I think we're all a bit afraid that a rental wouldn't be enough... We'd try you and yearn to own. sigh.

I'd definately consider a long term lease to successful applicants.

Yes, please BR, do tell us the characteristics, likes, dislikes, do's and don'ts of a successful applicant ... I have my pencil ready to check them off one by one ;)

Princessdy :D

The woman I am seeking. Who is she?

She doesn't have to be a beauty queen, but I have an appreciation for fine curves. Only stipulation perhaps is that her legs shouldn't be bigger than mine. (My thigh is 28 inches around, don't think many women will top that.)

She should be intelligent and aware of reality, not necisarily educated - but smart and motivated to learn the things that interest her.

Honesty and open communication in all things, no BS.
None, at all, ever.

She must have her own passions, goals, and life. Drive to match my own, and support my endeavours as I do hers.

An interest in fitness and healthy living. Since exercising is so much a part of my life, she needs to have it a part of hers as well. Sexercise is good cross training, but not enough on it's own.

An appetite to match my own, sexually. I need it EVERY DAY, preferably two or three times. This is not negotiable, if you and I are having a relationship of any kind, you have to love F-ing me.

and lastly, the cardinal rule:

If you want to be my Queen, then you gotta treat me like the King.

Ok, I will fill in the online application form :D

1) Thigh measurement 21ins, calf 13ins n ankle 91/2 ins :D ......not huge on the curves, but not straight up an down either :p

2) Studies Anthropology, Psychology, History, etc, etc. Built own computer :p...... is able to hold indepth conversations on a wide range of topics both serious an non-serious

3) Don't do BS .... Can't lie (goes red an stutters badly even when trying to deliver social, white lies) ......... too honest infact!

4) yup got one of those :D Am told I am very supportive an easy going :D

5)Power walking an weight training count ( free weights of course)??

6) ONLY 2 or 3 times a day??? :( :( :( Oh well I guess I could get by on that as long as there is a bonus on weekends an holidays :D

7) ::Curtsies deeply:: So, Sire what is missing ??

Al would u believe I had to go look up this 'John Holmes' guy?? Sheeeeeeeesh I live a sheltered life.

I can't see how anyone would prefer him over the likes of great guys like u an Ronin tho' ... I mean he is just a dick, (pun intended) bet he can't even give good hugs :D

I wouldn't touch the likes of Mr Holmes if he was offered up on a plate ......

Give me a 'great' ( can't use the word 'nice' as Ronin objects to it ) guy or nothing :D

SheWolf I'd give you a pass on the initial screening.

I think your "shorts picture" shows an attractive figure. ;)

I love history, and could use all the help I can get with this dang computer.

power walking and weight training are all good, and yes freeweights are the best. I spend at least two hours a day at the gym.

Only two or three times a day? Well if it's every day, that would be enough, but my record is seven. I want to make new records, reach past my limits, and expand my horizons.

Also must me open minded, in bed and elsewhere. I like to enjoy a variety of experiences.

darn(guess1 year not old enough)......the only time I wish I was older. LOL nice ad tho.

Age doesn't matter. I thought that was the point of Ageless love here. I'd say I'm looking for anything 25 and up. Under 25 people need time to do their own thing before getting into a relationship I think. Just so you know who you are and what you want.

Also geographical compatability is an issue. I think Shewolf would unfortunately be disqualified on that point alone. Actually the trouble is that everybody here lives too far away. Not doing any long distance lovin'. Been there, done that, not happening again.

Originally posted by ronin
Fully qualified Man-Wh0re is available to OW who need special attention.

Skills set includes cuddling, hugging, kissing, listening, romance, cooking nice meals, hot oil massages, cunning linguistics, and steamy lovemaking.

This Man-Wh0re has a complete set of VERY good references, so quality is assured. You will hear strange animal noises, and then realize you are the one making them.;)


http://www.manifestation.org/~ill/images/funny/bv31571.jpg

HAHA joe :D ,

Hey Ronin..I think she's applying ;)

Or are you applying Joe?..LOL






~*foxyeyes*~

Hahaha. . . very funny Foxy!!! :p

joe

Originally posted by Al 1968

They want from us:

1. intelligence;
2. romanticism;
3. a funny gift every morning;
4. neuronal stability;
5. fantasy;
6. muscles;
7. tolerance;
8. powerful translator "Men-Women" language.



Let's see. Am I a "they"

1) yes, that's a requirement. Who wants a partner (of either gender) whose mentation can be compared unfavorably with a box of rocks or a stump.

2) no thanks, that sort of thing makes my eyes glaze over

3) ditto on the no thanks

4) yes, insanity gets old after a while

5) nope, prefer reality, thanks.

6) enough muscles so that he's capable of walking upright would be a good idea, but not the sculpted adonis type.

7) I prefer acceptance to tolerance (learned that one watching South Park)

8) not needed, I'm bilingual

I guess I'm only 25% a 'they'.

Right on, Shewolf - - - even if John Holmes were alive and in my living room, I would show him the door . . . he is/was not appealing to me at all.

To Al - - - there you guys go again with the size thing. When are you all going to let that go???? Actually, I think the size thing only matters to other guys . . . 'cuz us women could give a flying f**k about size . . . it's more what you can do.

Ronin - - - Honey, you need to move to Texas . . . I have plenty of friends who would be fighting over you ;)

This is OT or "off topic", and I know I will get flamed for this but I don't care. Here in D-town if the man young or old, doesn't have:

1) $$$
2) a bmw and
3) a John Holmes, built like a python

you ain't gettin' SH*T from a woman!!! Period.

But the day women don't care about "size" is the day all men have a 10 inch snake.

Alright, let the flaming begin!!!

Sugar, I could care less about a man's money, don't like BMW's and have already address the third issue pretty plainly. And no, I'm not giving you any **** about it either!!

That's fine Ms. Peachy and you're entitled to your own opinion. But you're not a man, but then again, I'm sure you're not like them girls nowadays are anyway. :)
You're probably one of them high class, sophisticated, independent, successful women that don't need material things.
Yet, I respect your opinion, although I totally disagree with your point of view.

In all due politeness, I could really give a rat's a$$ if you tried to give me SH*T!!!



sincerely,

joe

Enough said.

That's what I thought.

joe

First you blight my Ad with that god-awful picture, and now you're talking smack. If anyone is going to talk **** on my thread it's going to be me, not you.

I'm the only opinionated bastard allowed on here. I respect your right to express yourself, but . . .

Go make your own soapbox to stand on, and spout your opinions there.

I don't believe it!! Ronin, I think you are the true blue thing!!! And, I for one, am very impressed by your straightforwardness and your not beating around the bush!!! I love a man who knows his qualities and flaunts them! More power to you!!!:D

I intended to make people laugh when I wrote this up, but the content is all genuine.

Originally posted by ronin
First you blight my Ad with that god-awful picture, and now you're talking smack. If anyone is going to talk **** on my thread it's going to be me, not you.

I'm the only opinionated bastard allowed on here. I respect your right to express yourself, but . . .

Go make your own soapbox to stand on, and spout your opinions there.

Talkin' smack? Uh. . . yeah. . . okay guy. . .
Go ahead and talk as you please and I'll agree that you're the "opiniated bastard" . . .
So what are you Superman now trying to save the ladies. I'll go ahead and pretend I'm scared from your mediocre threat, and see what happens next, k bro?

joe

Nessa - - - I think we're going to have to give up being honest with the guys on that last issue . . . they're never going to believe the truth . . . and they say they don't want us to lie to them . . . what's a lady to do ??????

Peachy,

Problem is (and i"m going to be BRUTALLY honest here gang) Length in not a factor but thickness is.

But they don't seem to get that either.

I guess we all need to pretend that what they have is not what we want so we can help them prove their point.


I don't want to lie to them but you are right they never do believe us when we tell the truth

Bald is sexy
Wider is better
NO I like you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

if i didn't I wouldn't be with you now would I ?


oh well....

You worry too much!

Just be a man, that's all.

if it's not fun, why bother?