Geo55 01-29-2008, 02:03 PM We have threads going about everything else; Classic rock, modern rock, cover music, A-Z music, A-Z movies, A-Z television ... time for a thread about jokes. Specifically jokes about YW or OM.
If you have a joke or funny picture or video concerning young women or older men, please share it with us. Have fun with this ...
(I'm gonna get the ball rolling by cutting & pasting a couple of my old jokes scattered around Ageless)
the old guy
Geo55 01-29-2008, 02:04 PM http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h51/gp_fillmore/indianchief.jpg
Somewhere in the desert, near Albuquerque New Mexico, there's a tourist stop decorated as a town from the old west. The employees roam the streets in costumes, dressed as gun slingers, cowboys, bar tenders, dance hall girls, you get the idea. The tourists roam the streets, visiting the various shops, snapping pictures and buying souvenirs.
Outside the saloon was a weathered old man dressed as an Indian Chief with full head gear, buck skins, beads and moccasins. He stood there perfectly still, steely eyes looking straight ahead, arms folded, unflinching. Whenever an attractive female tourist approached the saloon, the old man would slowly raise his right hand and greet her in his quiet, rough voice by saying "CHANCE".
It happened one day, a spunky young female tourist, I believe from New York City, observed the Indian Chief's behavior from afar. Unable to bridle her curiosity, she walked up to the Chief, stopping directly in front of him, firmly planting her feet, her eyes glaring directly into his. She queried the old man in a loud, swaggering voice, "Hey fella, aren't you supposed to say HOW?".
Slowly the old man raised his right hand. His dark eyes staring back at her from a furrowed brow, and he calmly replied in his deep voice "Chief know HOW, Just need CHANCE".
Geo55 01-29-2008, 02:11 PM My neighbors are a cute couple. They're newlyweds, an older man married to a younger woman.
They returned from their honeymoon to face the beginning of their new lives. Monday morning the husband woke up, showered, dressed and made his way to the kitchen where he saw his young bride crying.
So the husband inquired, "What's wrong Honey?"
She replied "I came down here this morning to surprise you with a big breakfast but I can't cook."
The husband smiled his biggest smile and said, "There, there sweetie! I don't care that you can't cook. Come on up to the bedroom and I'll show you what I'd like for breakfast."
So, off they went to the bedroom.
That afternoon, the husband came home for lunch to find his young bride crying again in the kitchen.
"What's wrong now, Sweetie?" He inquired.
She replied "the same thing as this morning. I came in here to make you something for lunch and I just can't cook."
Again, the husband smiled and said, "Why don't you come back up to the bedroom and I'll show you what I'd really like for lunch."
So, off they went to the bedroom again.
That evening the husband came home, walked in the house and saw his young bride sliding down the banister of the stairs naked. Up she ran, and WHOOSH down the banister, again.
After the third trip the husband asked, "What the heck are you doing honey?"
To which his young bride replied, "Warming up your supper!"
Geo55 01-29-2008, 02:14 PM An age gap couple, he 80, she 35, go to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?" The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse? "
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but figures the 80 year old man must have his reasons, so he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse. " He thanks them for coming, wishes them good luck, charges them $50 and says good bye.
The next week, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but with a desire to help others, he agrees again. This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.
Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor speaks up, "I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?"
The man replies, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 refunded by Medicare.
Guess Who! 01-29-2008, 03:00 PM Jane and Betty are college room mates.
The two young women are standing outside their apartment one afternoon having a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, slips it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Betty asks "What in the heck is that you just slipped over your cigarette?"
Jane replies "Its a condom with the end cut off. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."
Betty remarks "That's a great idea, why let the rain ruin a good smoke?"
Jane says "I keep a pack of them in my rain coat pocket, you ought to get yourself a pack too."
The next day, Betty jogs to the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a pack of condoms.
The pharmacist was an older man who was feeling a bit embarrassed to be talking so openly with a young lady about condoms, so he delicately asks "Do you prefer lubricated or dry, ribbed or plain, regular size or large, and do you have any preference for brand?"
Betty was not prepared for the pharmacists' questions, so she replied "It doesn't matter as long as it fits on a Camel!"
The old pharmacist fainted.
this one was also cut & pasted, more to come, Guess Who!
Greeneyedlily 01-29-2008, 04:07 PM :happy0188:
my favorite was the 2nd one! hahaha but the 1st was really good too! heh!
:rofl:
You boys! :p
Guess Who! 02-03-2008, 07:32 AM Stan and Dave, two old men who have been friends for decades, decided to go on a camping trip. They drove far away from the city and into the mountains where they pitched a tent amongst the trees of the forrest.
They were sleeping in their tent the first night when Stan cried out in pain. Dave woke up just in time to see a deadly, poisonous snake slithering out of the tent. "That snake bit me on my butt," exclaimed Stan "hurry phone for help!"
Dave grabbed his cell phone but there was no reception. Dave told Stan he'll have to find a pay phone, he sprung from the tent, and off he ran to the ranger's station about a mile away.
At the ranger's station there was a pay phone. Dave called an emergency number and was connected with a doctor. He explained to the doctor what happened. The doctor instructed Dave to make a small incision on the spot where the snake bit Stan and then carefully suck out the venom. "Return and do it quickly" said the doctor "or your friend will die." An ambulance was dispatched but it would take a long time for it to reach the campsite.
Dave ran a mile back through the forest and returned to their campsite. He entered the tent to find Stan waiting anxiously, holding his buttocks and overcome in pain.
"Did you find a phone?" asked Stan.
Dave hesitantly replied "Yes, I spoke with a doctor and an ambulance was dispatched"
"What did the doctor say?" asked Stan.
In his saddest voice Dave replied "The doctor said you're gonna die."
Guess Who!
sheila4pd 02-03-2008, 07:42 AM I loved Geo's post #4. What a great idea! :happy0188:
|
