breakup

I recently broke up with my 30 year old girlfriend. I am 52. We went out for only 3 months but felt like 3 years. I have gone out with woman with a 10 to 20 years age difference before but never felt so in love as in this one. She had been with an older man who was 7 years who senior. Her parents and relatives were opposed to our relationship from the start and created a lot of presure for her as time went on. She was shunned by her family. Luckily her aunt was positive about our relationship and it seemed to help. Unfortunately, one month into the relationship and we were starting to have problems. At first I thought it was because of our age difference and looking back now maybe it also contriburted to our breakup, but she also told me she was bisexaul. She explanined that she had recently come out and had been with only one woman sexually and was feeling confused about her sexuality. (I have never been with a bisexual woman before)I was suprised but felt we could work it out. In bed we tried to deal with this issue with sexual fantasies of another woman in bed with us. We were both uncomfortable in actually having a women in bed with us. Most men might think I was crazy but I loved her and couldn't image myself doing that. As the months progressed it was evident somthing had to be done. I decided we should breakup as she wasn't sure anymore that she loved me and couldn't commit. It was the most difficult decision I have ever made in my relationships to date. Was I do hasty?

You weren't to hasty. If she was so unsure of herself prolonging the relationship would only make it harder. You would have developed more intense feelings for her and she would have continued ot drift away. It hurts now, but it would have hurt worse when you found out she was dating another woman and later wanted to leave you for her. Sorry to be so blunt, but I just wanted to let you know that you saved yourself from a lot of heart-ache. Who knows, maybe one day when she 'finds herself' she'll find herself in your arms. If not, know that you two had a great time together, and be happy you found each other for that period of time in your life.

Wow, maybe i should listen to my own advice.

I hope this sheds a little light. Best of luck!

i sure do feel for you, i know its so hard to love someone but feel that you cant be with them right now........going through that right now myself, though we broke up months ago. good luck to you, and wishing you happiness, and everyone else tonight...

No, you didn't act too hastily. My interpretation of her telling you that she is bisexual is that she wanted to be with someone else (albeit female not male). When it's the right relationship and the right person, it just works. This one wasn't it for you. Good luck in finding the one that is.

Many I ask how you have handled yourself since your breakup! Any suggestions? I am also a yoga teacher and she comes to my classes. I find it difficult but I know it is important not to let it get to me. We exhange a few words after class but I go striaght home. Also she is suppose to take me out for my birthday dinner this Friday, but I feel I couldn't go because I still have feelings for her. I want so much to be a friend but I think I am fooling myself?

How do you deal with someone you still love that your heart still aches but realize you must go on with yourlife. I find it so hard right now.

honey jump in the boat! i'm in that situation too. I know it so hard, but keep telling yourself that it's over. A good friend of mine...with great advice (lara_steele ) once said to me: We keep hold of the good stuff and forget why we left. After she told me that, it kind of puts things into perspective, it's sad to think about - but life does go on. And time is unfortunatly the only remedy. That's what I'm going through.

Did you break things off with your OM? Maybe that's a dumb question since that's what it sounds like, but I'm sorry anyway. There must be something going around, because things aren't peachy here either. Everyone try to keep their heads up....and yes let's try not to lose perspective of the reasons why things went wrong. :(

I was talking about my ex b/f -
But along side w/ you things aren't peachy w/ my OM. Could it be the weather...spring? May....of December who knows, I'm just babbling now. I'm trying w/ my SO, if you can call him that right now. It's nothing between us, it's his screwed up life that he has to deal with. I'm just added distraction. So who knows where this will lead.