Ow Needs Advice - Asap!

Ladies,

I thank you so much for sharing your experience here. I've learned so much through your postings and trust you completely, which is why I need your advice...pronto. Here's my situation:

Me: 32
Him: 24
Dating: 1 month

Okay...I know what you're thinking (FOUR WEEKS! What could possibly be the problem?)...Well...

We were introduced through a coworker of mine and made an instant connection. We've been seeing a lot of each other since and we speak daily, more than once a day (he's the one doing the calling). Last night, he took me out to dinner and confessed that he didn't expect to feel so positively about me and wants to pursue an exclusive relationship with me, that the age diff. does not matter to him and thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread, etc...

BUT, this afternoon, we spoke on the phone and after I told him, "I'm crazy about you" (which I absolutely am), he responded by saying (jokingly), "This is going too fast". I immediately went on self-defense mode and joked back, "Well, if you really feel that way, maybe you should wait a week to call me." He got serious and said, "Okay, what if we do that? Let's try it. I won't call you for two weeks then." We said goodbye (in a nice way) and hung up.

WHAT?!!! I'm old enough to know I shouldn't be getting nervous about this. We've all met the guys that NORMALLY take 2 weeks to call but I'm filled with anxiety over this one. It's been four hours and I can't get it out of my mind. I have a gut feeling that he won't wait two weeks but there's a small part of me that tells me I shouldn't take his calls if he does phone before April 1.

I don't like playing games but: Should I teach this boy a lesson and wait the two weeks to return the call if he does call? Or should I go with his flow and play nice while allowing him to call the shots?

Ladies, what would you do?


In despair,

Clacas

Don't beat yourself up over your self defense thing. Just let it go. And he will likely call you earlier than two weeks and DO answer the phone. Moreover, tell him you are GLAD that he didn't wait the two weeks.

Then no more confessions of being crazy about him. Let things move a little slower unless he picks up the pace and you can then sort of decide if it's your pace too.

It's really not a big thing. Probably good to have the little break here to cool your jets.

Cindy

PS And don't call him

Hey.....its really not worth a two-week glitch in your very new relationship over something you were joking about and did not really mean. You said yourself right there, "I don't like playing games..." so why play them? If you "can't get it off your mind" why not call him up and say so? Say, hey, it's been bothering me and I just wanted you to make sure you understood I was joking around earlier. Simple as that. If I have said it once, I have said it a THOUSAND times here....It's not about games or teaching anyone a lesson...Its about honesty and how you feel. If you truly did not mean what you said, and you are worried that he might have taken it the wrong way, then you should be telling him so. You had no problem telling us how you really felt about it. Talking to him should be as easy if not easier. My two cents... *hugs* and best wishes.

Amen Jo. I hate the gameplaying stuff. If you don't mean it, don't say it, if you don't feel it, don't do it. If you can't be yourself, what's the point?

Be yourself. If you felt like telling him that night that you were crazy about him, don't feel bad now. That's how you felt then. And you told him because he led you to believe that he was crazy about you, so what's the harm? You did not expect that reaction, you expected him to be excited and turned on with your comment, didn't you? Well. he's obviously playing a "are you hard to get" game. Honestly, I would say...move on, and find someone who's a little more mature up there, not necessarily older, just someone who does not need two weeks to decide if he wants to give you his time. Screw him. He had his chance to know you/take you /be with you while you poured out your feelings and came forward. He did not take it then, and then on top of that, he's going to think about it, maybe call you in 2 weeks..I know this is easy for me to say because I'm not you, but I would head to the hills right now, and not answer that phone when he calls again. Unless you want to keep playing games, and in that case, you better be a game master, because he seems like he is. Seems like he's not mature enough now to handle you, and he wants control over this relationship. Just be careful; there are plenty of good guys out there who won't put you through that test...and won't play those games. It also depends on what you want from him, whether it's a good time now for a short while, or a long term thing. Anyway, don't waste too much time, and surely during those two weeks, have fun, go out, don't duel on it, and most definitely, DON'T SIT BY THE PHONE! (and don't listen to bad advise....)
Anyway, GOOD LUCK! Tell us letter what happened!

games=bad
honesty=Good



Also, as man said, you should definately be seeing other people. Don't wait for his call. Go out with other people. You have only been dating for a month, so this isn't a deep relationship yet.

And I gotta admit, I'm a bit puzzled that he was so scared by an "I'm crazy about you" comment. Maybe it's just me, but that doesn't sound like "Marry me and be the fathor of my 24 children" exactly. It just means you like a person. Doesn't it? My guy said "I adore you" when we were just buddies, and I didn't go picking out curtains or anything. Am I just weird?

Besides, what's with him saying he wants to date exclusively, and then chickening out when you say you're crazy about him? Sounds a bit of a headcase to me.

headcase=Bad

HE will call I am sure.
Don't wait for him.
If you want to call and explain yourself go ahead but I am not sure how that will impact on the relationship.

He is probably scared that's all.

The one thing I can agree with is NO GAME PLAYING. Please.

most of the responses come from women far saner and wiser than I am. Listen to them.

Well, y'all, she was the one who said, albeit joking, why didn't he just not call for a while. It was not like she said she was crazy about him and he decided not to call. She brought it up, and he agreed, either joking or not. I am just saying if she said something she did not mean or was misunderstood and she is concerned about it, she should pick up the phone and tell him. :) Why wait two weeks to tell him she was only joking around...

Originally posted by joannalee
Well, y'all, she was the one who said, albeit joking, why didn't he just not call for a while. It was not like she said she was crazy about him and he decided not to call. She brought it up, and he agreed, either joking or not. I am just saying if she said something she did not mean or was misunderstood and she is concerned about it, she should pick up the phone and tell him. :) Why wait two weeks to tell him she was only joking around...


what she said!
yeah that's the ticket.

seriously, call him get it off you chest then the balls in his court.