decision to widen age gap search

I have decided to not only search for OW's but also YW as well.
so i hope to now get to grow my friends list with both OW's and YW as i have not been lucky in either search :(

I think that is a good idea. I am not sure how you go about meeting women or the places you hang out, but just remember, if you are out specifically to meet women there is a vibe that you give off that can be picked up by women and for many will be a turn off. If you are a person that goes out with your mates to just have fun, you might have better luck in attracting the women. Women like to see men having fun with their friends and also like to see a man who is confident in themselves.

I think that is a good idea. I am not sure how you go about meeting women or the places you hang out, but just remember, if you are out specifically to meet women there is a vibe that you give off that can be picked up by women and for many will be a turn off. If you are a person that goes out with your mates to just have fun, you might have better luck in attracting the women. Women like to see men having fun with their friends and also like to see a man who is confident in themselves.

This plagued me to no end when I was single!

The advice to "just meet anyone regardless of age" is good advice, but some people have tastes and preferences they can't help. They just find themselves attracted, for whatever reason, to certain types of people (younger, older, or whatever).

The other thing that drove me nuts was people telling me to "just be yourself". I had been "just being myself" for the past 15 years and it got me nowhere with women.

I finally gave up and wrote to penpal columns, which is how I met my wife.

I figured that if he likes OW and YW, then why not sameage women too? If he's that widely varied in his tastes, then why not in the middle too? I find women from 18 to 50ish attractive. So why not him too?

It is odd that someone would be attracted to both older and younger women, but not women their own age. The only thing I might guess is that maybe he feels intimidated by his peers, and more comfortable with older adult company. He may also feel that younger people might "look up" to him, which is why he's attracted to them as well.


Well heck, why not tell us how to write to penpal columns. I'm serious.


I used to write to a wide variety of personals ad columns as well as some foreign friendship clubs. Back then these were paper pubs that were circulated through mail. Today there are a vast array of personals columns and friendship clubs online. The plus side is that you get to meet people through writing, which was easier for me than meeting face-to-face. The downside is that you often end up in long-distance relationships. It's both good and bad, and is not for everyone. But it worked for me.

I can't mention the names of any specific clubs or web sites here because of the policy against advertising, but if you PM me I can give you more specific information.

I think a part of it also has to do with upbringing and childhood experience. I was the oldest in my family, with a younger brother and sister. Since I made friends with their friends, I hung out a lot with younger people. Someone who's the youngest in the family may prefer older people, since his/her siblings are older and they may tend to associate with older people. These childhood tendencies often evolved into adult dating patterns.

Experience can also play a role. Someone who was bullied in school may have gravitated to younger or older people as a child, and continued the habit of seeking different aged people as an adult.

Any number of things can influence someone's age preference, or lack of one. That is why age is a very individual thing, and people who end up with very different aged romantic partners can often be misunderstood.