Love Online Rule Book?

New here and struggling with an impossible issue. In the course of two months of online interaction, I fell deeply in love with a man 22 years my junior. Simple logic (including geographical distance and never having met in person) dictated that this relationship was and would remain unreal. But the pain! OMG The pain of loving and losing him (I cut it off) has been as real as if we had been longterm lovers. It has been crazy-making. Has anyone else gone through this type of online madness? It has made me very leery of going online (or anywhere) again to look for someone. Men in my age group generally bore and disinterest me so I am fixed on finding a younger man but I think I need a rule book. Or a whack on the side of the head.... lol

me... US...18 years older
him...the netherlands

met on line, married 3 years later, married now for 3years


so WHY was it impossible?

In my case our difference is 21+ years, I live in Panama, and he lived in Indiana. We started our relationship in the worst way possible, in an Excite chat room having first, a political debate on Iraq, then wild cybering. These types of relationsships are a dime a dozen and when we reached our two week mark this was considered a long term relationship by Excite chatroom standards. :rolleyes:

Five months later we met for real, but even then it was still an LDR for two more years before he decided to move to Panama. He had never left the US before and it was a big step for him to quit his job and come to a 3rd world country to become part of a family unit that included a teenage boy. :eek:

We have now been together for four years. We have struggled to make this relationship happen through problems, not so much because of our age gap but because our other differences, such as cultural, racial, social, and even language.

What made our relationship possible is that we agreed to live in the present. We refuse to let tomorrow ruin today. I am an over-analyzer so if it was for me, this would not have even happened, but he helped me focus in our love and in the present and here we are... :)

Me... Norway...13 years older
Him... US...

Met online September 2004, met in real life 22nd of March 2005, married July 22nd 2005 :D Now we are planning on having a baby :D

I guess that what made it possible was that we decided that we had nothing to lose by giving love a chance!!!

LMAO you women crack me up...point made ;)

Sometimes it works out, as these lucky ladies have proved. And sometimes it doesn't. Just like any kind of relationship.

Me...53...US
Him...27...Europe

Met online, then in person a year later... fireworks.

LDR back and forth for another year, then he moved here and we lived together. We thought this was the real deal. But his family thought different, issued an ultimatum, and ended it between us. Online was one thing, but real life brought out the real issues.

I thank everyone who chipped in with their stories and perspective on my
22 year age gap relationship dilemma. They have been helpful. First of all for confirming that I had not taken complete leave of my senses. Love just IS and it happens when and to whom it elects to happen. I get that. Second, because the stories will help me remain open - to love and its possibilities whatever the form! Much appreciated.

That is correct: Love just IS. It happens wherever it finds you.

Me: US, 42
Him: UK, 22

Met online in September 2007, became an online couple at the end of November 2007, Met in person three weeks later and (talk about crazy) got engaged on New Year's Day, 2008 at midnight. He stayed the full 90 days of his visa waiver.

He is now back in the UK and we are back to our LDR relationship. It's not easy maintaining an LDR but what we have is very, very good!

me 42
him 20

been together almost 2 years met online in a game ..engaged now and he is moving here sooooon

Do you ever worry about not being able to get pregnant, meri? I've been thinking about that a lot. I really want to. Really, REALLY. But what if it doesn't happen? I'll have to have reversal surgery...

Do you ever worry about not being able to get pregnant, meri? I've been thinking about that a lot. I really want to. Really, REALLY. But what if it doesn't happen? I'll have to have reversal surgery...

ya I do and we discussed that I am trying for the tubal reversial but my sister bless her heart offered to carry it for us if we cant or we adopt.either way we will have a child..Kai has been SOOOO amazing!

ya I do and we discussed that I am trying for the tubal reversial but my sister bless her heart offered to carry it for us if we cant or we adopt.either way we will have a child..Kai has been SOOOO amazing!


Yeah, we could adopt, and I'd gladly do that if he wanted but... oh God, to go through the whole experience just ONCE with someone who loves me and is there with me through the whole thing... *sigh* that is my dream of heaven on earth.

Me 51~~USA
Him 29~~Australia

Met online in a chat room February 2001. Met face to face May 2002. Fireworks! He proposed January 2003. We married in Australia January 2004. I migrated to Australia and we have been living happily ever after! :bgrin2:

Yeah, we could adopt, and I'd gladly do that if he wanted but... oh God, to go through the whole experience just ONCE with someone who loves me and is there with me through the whole thing... *sigh* that is my dream of heaven on earth.

girl I completely understand and relate!!!!! You and I are like soul sisters and I can feel that pain of wanting it sooooooo badly!!!!!!1

me 42
him 20

been together almost 2 years met online in a game ..engaged now and he is moving here sooooon

Glad to hear this, hun. I was hoping things were going good! I decided to check in here tonite, and of course came into the LDR area :yes: ;)

I just put this quote on my MySpace tonite:

"What is more mortifying than to feel you've missed the Plum for want of courage to shake the Tree?" ~Logan Pearsall Smith

I let my "butterfly fly," and i think he's flying back. I may just have to take the chance and go for it.