A good age gap story

Last Friday I went to the 1st wedding anniversary celebration of a business associate of my OM. This man is 70 and his wife is 31; 39yrs age gap:eek: I was shocked because I had no idea this man was 70. I thought he was 60 at most.

They seem so happy and can I tell you: they were feeding each other from the mouth and dancing up a storm. I remember hearing rumors that his wife was with him for his money, but when you see them together it's obvious why they are together: they are so in love. My gap is 30 yrs and it feels really good to know another real life couple with a gap that is even bigger than mine and they are making it work; though it seems so effortless! woohoo!

Great story GoodChild, glad you've shared it.

Since this is a relationship support forum, where people come regularly to discuss their problems, one can get the impression that Age Gap relationships are problematic. Truth is, age really isn't an issue, when two people "click" they click.

your buddy

Hey, great story! Things like that make me feel happy and hopeful :)

Great story Goodchild, how old are you?

Since this is a relationship support forum, where people come regularly to discuss their problems, one can get the impression that Age Gap relationships are problematic. Truth is, age really isn't an issue, when two people "click" they click.
This is a good point George. In my experience, most of the issues I have faced had to do with cultural or social differences, rather than related to the age-gap.

Age gap couples are like same-age couples once they have been together for a bit and forget they have a gap. But that does not mean that there is 100% compatibility, same as in regular couples.

Thank you Goodchild for sharing this nice story with us.

I must say that I disagree with George and Sheila. Delroy and I click; we are like best friends and we have a wonderful relationship. However there are some age gap related issues.. As he ages, his needs and desires change as well and as such, when he was 10yrs younger, some of the issues that arise now would not have been issues. I must add that these issues are not ones that are important in the larger scheme of things, but if they are not addressed they can mushroom into larger issues.

His sleep patterns have changed and that has affected how we relate to each other. He goes to bed early and rises early in the morning. This has only started to happen in the last two yrs. He used to stay up until maybe 11pm but now his body shuts down by 8/9pm. Now remember he gets home late most nights, so we do not get to relate much during weekdays though we live together. This is just one example of an issue that in our relationship it is due to his age, because his body reacts differently now that he is older.

Let me point out how this issue of him going to bed early which he describes as his body shutting down especially if he's had a full meal after 6pm.
Our sex life is affected : we have sex mainly in the mornings which is not really my thing because I'm not a morning person, but we compromise. He tries not to have a full meal after 6pm, but many times that isn't possible.
2. I sometimes feel neglected because I am not able to interact with him in a way that is meaningful to me. eg. we can't watch a movie together, we can't discuss anything important because he really wants to sleep.
He has compromised by trying to get home early and we allocate 1hr to just us, but his companies are restructuring and we live quite some distance from pone of his businesses so this doesn't always happen.

I might provide more examples later but right now I have to get going. Some same age people might experience issues similar to the one I describe due to other factors, but I am saying to you that in our relationship it is an issue because of his change in sleep patterns and body function as he ages. Please bear in mind that we have been together for 8yrs. I'd like to reiterate that we have a good line of communication so when issues like these arise we usually discuss them and find a workable solution.

That is a good story!

My former minister was married to a lovely woman 18 years his senior, and they were married at least 30 years, up the very end. It was her second marriage, and his first. They never had any children between them (she could not by the time they were married), but he was a wonderful stepfather to her children and a grandfather to the grandchildren, and they all were very close. Neither one of them ever expressed any regrets at all, and even towards the end, when finally she became ill, they seemed just as much in love.

Their story was probably really extreme back at the time they got married, especially with the woman being the older partner.

GC...I have the same issues that you mentioned, but like you also mentioned, not because of age factors.

My b/f has to leave for work at 5 in the morning, so he gets up at 4. That means is in bed by 8 p.m., 9 at the latest. George can attest to the fact (because he catches me on the website at all kinds of crazy hours) there is no going to bed for me that early.

It does really have an affect on things, but like you said, if you have good communication, you just have to come to a compromise. He stays up later on the weekends...a couple nights a week I go to bed early and then get back up (if you catch my drift ;) ).

Anyhow, just wanted you to know I sympathize.

I was going to say, GC... we have the same issue too. Chris is just hardwired to be asleep by 10 at the latest. I've tried to adjust my schedule some, but I'm just a night owl! I do worry about him as we get older, he's gonna be in bed by 7... and I'll be the insomniac sitting around twiddling my thumbs!

Its no secret I'm a night owl, I have been since childhood. Many writers & creative types are. I've had a lifetime to experiment trying to improve sleeplessness with myself as the lab rat. The first thing to realize is that sleep issues can indicate physical problems, or they can be emotional. The folks like D who can go to sleep at a reasonable hour are the normal ones, those of us who have a difficult to impossible time getting to bed at an early hour are the ones whose sleep patterns are irregular.

I'm not implying that the change in D's sleep pattern isn't age related, but the issue of incompatible sleep is not an age-only issue. It's just one of those things in life that you have to work out with a companion. I've had several companions who were close to my age who had completely different sleep patterns than my own (no surprise there). Goodchild, you're a night owl like me. The chances are very good that you're sleep pattern would be incompatible even with someone your own age.

With the several companions I've had in my life I have found that when around certain partners my sleep patterns improved and became more healthy. I also found that when around other partners (restless sleepers) they became worse.

Changes in sleep patterns also happened when new or different medications were taken, or when trying to sleep on the wrong mattress (too hard verses too soft). Not everybody requires the same firmness of mattress. I can only sleep restfully on a soft mattress. Did you know you can buy mattresses in which one side is a different firmness than the other? Also, your body's preference for a certain firmness of mattress can change.

The winner of the Ageless Love night owl award goes to Greeneyedlily. She's also a writer.

http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h51/gp_fillmore/tawny_owl2.jpg

GC, your case can be age related but it could also be work-related. My ex was an early bird and I was an owl. He always went to work around 5:30 I cannot blame him if the was asleep by 9.

My ex had to work early so he'd be up with the sun while I'd just be heading to bed most nights, it's not uncommon for me to be wide awake at 3am and sometimes up until 4 or 5...I have to admit that Ambien and me have become very close!!!!

While I understand what you are all saying, I know that in my particular relationship it is age related. As I said before, he was not like this two years ago. Further, I can understand someone accustomed to going to bed early due to workload etc. but the issue here is that he will fall a sleep even if I strip naked and suck his big toe while standing on my head lol! especially if he's had a full meal past 6pm; his body has begun to process food differently as he gets older.

A few years ago we we had similar sleep patterns and used to go bed together at the same time, now that doesn't happen. I usually lie down with him for a while but I become restless in less than 1hr. It's not just about wanting to sleep, but his body shuts down. No energy to get a quickie; that will only happen in the morning. Quite frankly, he used to hate morning sessions just like me, but that's the only time his body comes alive now so he has no choice but to like it now.

OK! Just re- read George's post and realized that he said it is not an age only case which is rightly so. So my post is redundant but...:tongue2:

... even if I strip naked and suck his big toe while standing on my head ...

Goodchild, I think we need some video of that activity!

Goodchild, I think we need some video of that activity!


Lol! George! TOO FUNNY!:rofl:

Sorry, private screening only:tongue2::giggle:

Dang, maybe we should start a night owl chat!

There definitely isn't anything to do at that time of night except watch reruns, watch informericals, or read the same threads over and over on the site....

Dang, maybe we should start a night owl chat!

There definitely isn't anything to do at that time of night except watch reruns, watch informericals, or read the same threads over and over on the site....

Why do you think I post crazy crap!!! LOl I am suchhhhhhh a night owl!