should I or shouldn't I

My b/f is 63 I'm 44. It's alot different then most on this site being he is more than likelycloser to the end of his life than mine. Alot of you are much younger and are in relationships where the men are my age. this means you could very well have 20 healthy years together. Anyway, My b/f is having some heart problems not sure of the prognosis yet, beats fast, could be a variety of things. I noticed on our cruise he was always sleeping and has been for awhile. Sexually he is on viagra at times. I am a very energetic person both physically and sexually. I feel he is the one for me emotionally but possibly not physically because he can't keep up. Right now the problem is mild but I worry as time goes on it could dissapoint me. Also, with some heart problems one cannot take viagra. Physically he sleeps alot right now I am not a napper, Idon't mind a little napping. Maybe when tests come in the problem can be fixed. As I said earlier, he keeps talking of marriage; I am not sure if I should continue with this or if I should stay. I feel in love with him and love his heart very much, but I am worried about shorting MY quality of life as well. I know people's emotions are their own to have and how they deal with things is owned only by them, however, I know what loneliness is so well and not to have a soul mate is the hardest thing to lose so maybe I shouldn't throw this love away. I sound like a kid here not making up my mind any suggestion? I have never hurt anyone I am not very experianced in this whole dating thing but am very experienced in lifes realities. I should mention I have taken care of many people (all with different ailments) in my life time with my job.

Now I know why my man feels so scared....:eek:

Even though sex is a big part of a relationship....it's not the only thing. If you love him, don't leave him. However, if it's not just the sex...i.e: you say he sleeps all the time...is there any together time at all?! Do you tell each other how much you love each other? Is the lack of love making making you feel distant?
Maybe you two should have heart to heart talks everyonce in a while.

There isn't a lack of sex it is very, very good. We spend alot of time together perhaos I should of been a little clearer. He takes 2-5min. naps however I think it could get worse. He doesn't act like a man his age or otherwise I woulndn't of been interested in him. Je farms MN. 2400 acres. So isn't like down and out just is always tired this could be a health related issue.

There isn't a lack of sex it is very, very good. We spend alot of time together perhaos I should of been a little clearer. He takes 2-5min. naps however I think it could get worse. He doesn't act like a man his age or otherwise I woulndn't of been interested in him. Je farms MN. 2400 acres. So isn't like down and out just is always tired this could be a health related issue.

The way I see it - if you love each other, you stick by each other through thick and thin (in sickness and in health) Think to yourself....would he be there for you? I would want my SO to be by my side at all times so I could enjoy them for as long as possible. I wouldn't want to be alone in my time of need. Especially if you love each other.

That's quote, somewhat what my son said "Idon't think you should breakup with him you could get hit by a car. I would hate to leave him and feel frankly like shit leaving someone when they are in need of compassion. This is one of the areas we have discussed,if he could keep up to me in the ways I mentioned. Also at times he has said that sometimes he feels guilty and should let me go because he doesn't want to ruin my life and I could find another guy who is younger and be happier. He sais this several times but then with tears in his eyes said he didn't want to. WE are both widowed 2 years for him, 1 1/2 years for me. Wev'e been seeing each other 6 months. It is along distance relationship however we see each other every week and I stay with him for 2 to 4 days at once. And we take trips together. I hate being alone but the thought of marriage scares me as well because of the age but also because my husband and I were soul mates. we never fought together 28 years,perfect. I know this will be a different type of love but I feel weird like When I was married it felt like home safe, secure, relaxed and exciting. Now it is like I have 2 lives so separate from my homeb but That really has changed too;but it is still a familiar feeling bittersweet I guess. I feel for the people in war.I think I am not alone, there are alot of people who have lost loved ones but sometimes knowing that doesn't help with my adjusting to trhis knew life.

Emcad is right.... If you love him that's all that matters... so he's sick... with todays technology it could probably be cured....

My boyfriend died when he was 25 in a motorcycle accident.... he had no warning ...so life life to the fulliest and live for today

:D I'm sure you love your OM alot. I am also in a similar situation. My boyfriend is actually 59(not far from 63) and i am 23. I love him alot but in my case he doesnt want a longterm committment. If i had the opportunity though i would be by his side forever. Love will conquer everything so i think you should stay with him and not turn away. Who knows if you leave him, if u will meet someone where u will feel the passion and love that u felt with your 63 OM. good luck! ;) deedee

Is there an update on your situation?