Met her today in the Laundromat

I am 52 and live in San Diego. Today I had to go to the laundramant to wash sleeping bags. so im in there and got talking to this young lady. very personable. I was actually helping this older lady figure out her soap load or something. so young lady then says, I wish you were here a few minutes ago, I needed you too. I said " man , not every day a pretty lady says that to me", she laughed. Ok, so we talked the entire hour plus I was in there. she asked what i did, i told her that I am a counselor, she told me her dad was or is alcoholic and pill popper. She spoke a lot about her church life, shes been to Uganda on mission trips and is very activley involved in her church. she goes to local community college. she works 2 retail jobs. she told me about a kayak trip she took with a girlfreind recently. i said i kayak, she said thats her fav thing to do. well we talked about many subjects, and we really connecting. at one point we made eye contact and well i felt that thing that happens when you feel that thing that happens. so when she was done, she pulls out a piece of paper and writes down her churchs website address and a date and a time for a concert she is hosting in a few weeks. i said to her " if i knew it wouldnt creep you out id ask you to go kayaking" she said " its all good, maybe we can go as a youth group from church and your son can come along". she also told me of where she works in a nearby town at this hawaii like fast food place. she was super nice. when she left i shook her hand and said thanks for making my day, she said " it has been interesting". eyyyyyyyyyyyy... oh shes 21.. any thoughts anyone

I am 52 and live in San Diego. Today I had to go to the laundramant to wash sleepiong bags bags. so im in there and got talking to this young lady. very personable. I was actually helping this older lady figure out her soap load or something. so young lady then says, I wish you were here a few minutes ago, I needed you too. I said " man , not every day a pretty lady says that to me", she laughed. Ok, so we talked the entire hour plus I was in there. she asked what i did, i told her that I am a counselor, she told me her dad was or is alcohoplic and pill popper. She spoke a lot about her church life, shes been to Uganda on mission trips and is very activley involved in her church. she goes to local community college. she works 2 retail jobs. she told me about a kayak trip she took with a girlfreind recently. i said i kayak, she said thats her fav thing to do. well we talked about many subjects, and we really connecting. at one point we made eye contact and well i felt that thing that happens when you feel that thing that happens. so when she was done, she pulls out a piece of paper and writes down her churchs website address and a date and a time for a concert she is hosting in a few weeks. i said to her " if i knew it wouldnt creep you out id ask you to go kayaking" she said " its all good, maybe we can go as a youth group from church and your son can come along". she also told me of where she works in a nearby town at this hawaii like fast food place. she was super nice. when she left i shook her hand and said thanks for making my day, she said " it has been interesting". eyyyyyyyyyyyy... oh shes 21.. any thoughts anyone

Well I would not take your son if your interested...lol just ask her to dinner or maybe a nice lunch picnic thing and see where it goes! GO FOR IT!

Sounds like she wants to meet your son. And based on my past experience, sacrifice your lust, and look for someone closer to your own age. When she's in her so called prime, you'll be 70.

Well Padre,

A church website is not exactly a telephone number. She may have been doing a little missionary work. But assuming that's not the case ...

Haven't you been curious to try that Hawaiian style fast food the next town over? Perhaps its time to satisfy that curiousity. Tell your son to dust off his bible & get ready for a kayak outing. If it's good for you then be cool & go with the flow.

By the way, 1955 was a very good year my friend! Best of luck.

Aha! So that's where the 55 comes from George! LOL I'm such a rocket scientist!

Padre, I can't say for certain that she was hitting on you... maybe she thought you were cute or something and she was just chatting you up...

I agree with George (as usual) you should go try that resturant... and when you're there maybe chat her up if you can... something like: "Well the food here is great but I bet you get sick of it, maybe I could take you out to my favorite resturant?"
or
"The food here is pretty aweful, let me take you somewhere nice."

Just a thought.... would be kind of smoothe... lol ;)

But what the heck do I know, I'm only 22! :rolleyes:

well if nothing else she made my day. Ive had a relationship with someone this age and in responce to the person who said by the time im 70 shes 39, guess what ill still be 70 with or without her. intergenerational relationships are becoming much more a part of our society. i think it makes lots of sense in many ways. having said all this I will go visit her, ive never eaten at her place of business, and what the heck, just goes to show you, you meet more people in Laundry places than dating sights.

Eh, don't listen to MS1 she's had some bad experience with her OM, you can read her thread all about it....

I personally never really considered dating an OM until I got interested in the last one... nothing ever happened with that (his side not mine) we flirted plenty and there were a lot of signs that said he liked me (he denied it but George thinks he was being a jerk and taking the easy way out! lol and as usual George is probably right! haha he's the go-to guy around here for most of us ;) and I'm not kissing up b/c he's a mod! lol ;0)

People don't accept AGRs b/c people who are closed minded can't see what attraction there is to someone significantly older or younger than themselves, but people are people no matter what package they're in. Just b/c someone is in their 20s doesn't mean their personality is, or their soul.

I don't care about what people think, it's much more important what I think of myself and my own situation and whether or not I'm happy. Happiness is all we can really ask for, and it can come from anything or anyone, and so long as no one's getting hurt, there should be no jugement, but alas there always is.

And you don't have anything to lose by asking her out... an awkward moment of her possibly saying no and then what? You don't ever see her again, unless you're at the same laundromat?! Go for it! Let us know how it turns out... uh tear a dryer sheet! (didn't think break a leg was appropriate here, and good luck just seemed boring!) :rolleyes:

Toodles :p

Eh, don't listen to MS1 she's had some bad experience with her OM, you can read her thread all about it....

I personally never really considered dating an OM until I got interested in the last one... nothing ever happened with that (his side not mine) we flirted plenty and there were a lot of signs that said he liked me (he denied it but George thinks he was being a jerk and taking the easy way out! lol and as usual George is probably right! haha he's the go-to guy around here for most of us ;) and I'm not kissing up b/c he's a mod! lol ;0)

People don't accept AGRs b/c people who are closed minded can't see what attraction there is to someone significantly older or younger than themselves, but people are people no matter what package they're in. Just b/c someone is in their 20s doesn't mean their personality is, or their soul.

I don't care about what people think, it's much more important what I think of myself and my own situation and whether or not I'm happy. Happiness is all we can really ask for, and it can come from anything or anyone, and so long as no one's getting hurt, there should be no jugement, but alas there always is.

Actually, I dated about 2 guys my own age, and the rest were 10+ years older. I was like you too, if you love someone who cares about the age, love the person, just go for it attitude. Today I'm realizing there are problems with AGR's and honestly I think it's a bit perverted. Why would a man want to date a woman 15+ years his junior? The man is usually middle aged and probably looking to validate/prove he can still pull chicks to make himself feel worthy as a male in society. With my experiences comes a need to protect this YW from a man who may only be looking for middle aged validation, and so I speak.

I experienced the close minded people, my friends, my mother who said nothing but knew it wasn't right, people asking him about his daughter (that'd be me, his wife). I know what it's like to try to explain or justify an AGR, and prove it to be normal when I realize now, it is far from the norm.

I think the most important thing is for the man to realize he has to treat the woman with the love and respect she deserves, to shower her with his love, to make her feel important and an equal partner no matter if she contributes 10 cents a week or $10k week. The OM must also realize that with his age comes his wisdom, he must think with his mind, and realize that an AGR is not a game to be played to validate his ego, making him feel like a real man in front of his friends. He must realize the sacrifices a woman must make when she chooses to enter into a long term AGR, and heartbreak she may experience when she sees her man aging, as mortality rears up in front of her.

Real stuff to think about. IMO, it takes a strong man to fight off his lust for a YW, to realize what she needs is a man her own age to begin life with, to share life with, to build a life with. A middle aged man has lived 1/2 his life, sure he can start anew, but he's used, not fresh, he can't help but impart his ways on the YW, taking her ability to become her own person and molding it into his own styles.

I would not go to her restaurant. That could be interpreted as stalking. I would go to the concert, since that is the invitation you got. Do not take your son with you. See how she treats you at the concert. Go on from there.

It is difficult to know if this one chance meeting in a laundromat will amount to anything. It may or it may not. If she keeps mentioning your son, it would mean she wants to put you in perspective of the age difference. As in I am your son's age.

i think someone needs to go get lunch at that restraunt, pronto!!

yeah and this is an age-gap support group, so whoever dropped the line about and older man hitting on a younger woman probably should reconsider membership here (no offense).you could be old and alone at 70, or could you have some great woman in your life who truly enjoys your company!

though, heed george's memo on missionary work, that IS a possibility.

good luck!

Amen, that we have this forum to voice our opinions and agree to disagree. I know me, I like to take my time to get to know someone. I always connect with younger people as well as older, but do seem to have many more women freinds in 20's and 30's than any other age group. Even my x-wife says I will end up with someone younger.

THanks for all who have made valid thoughts and opinions.

Im glad we have a place like ageless to support us either way.

Mark

Sounds like she wants to meet your son. And based on my past experience, sacrifice your lust, and look for someone closer to your own age. When she's in her so called prime, you'll be 70.

MS1, You are way too bitter with your life. Get out of that house and start a new life with that big chested man. Let your old man have some peace, he may even find another young woman who appreciates him. Now get out of there and leave him alone.

Just because SOME men use dating younger women as validating their virility doesn't mean that's the case for ALL men and to generalize like that is offensive to many YW and OM's that are here. I hope you realize you're stepping on toes with your own resentments, and people don't appreciate that. Is there not anything positive you could share about you own AGR or has it all been down hill from the nuptials?!?! It's not perverse unless someone makes it that way, why is it that you are sharing the same close mindedness you once experienced yourself? Isn't that a bit hypocritical? I mean, granted your situation didn't turn out the best for you, but that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of happy people out there who have better relationships with their older/younger SO.

He wants to get to know her, and possibly go kayaking with her... why is that so discouraging?!

Like someone else said... this is a SUPPORT forum, not dump all your problems here and try to change people's minds... I'm sure there are other places for that... and let the haters stay there.

So Padre take it slow and cautious, go to the concert... try to get to know her, if there's no romance, well you've got a new friend to go kayaking with at least. Life's too short to always worry about the bad to come.

I could be wrong, but my gut feeling tells me she is not interested in you. She would have responded differently to your kayaking invitation if she were. It sounds to me like she is just a very nice girl who is probably extremely friendly to everyone she meets. In my experience, guys tend to mistake friendliness for romantic interest.
What really tips me off is her comment at the end: "It has been interesting". "Interesting" is always a subtle substitute for something less positive. Example: "How do you like my outfit?" Answer: "It's... interesting". See what I'm saying?

-BL

P.S. - I agree with the person who said you should go to the concert - not her place of work. Showing up at the restaurant would DEFINITELY creep her out. But going to the concert would be fun as long as you don't try to hit on her. Just be her friend and don't expect anything more. Things that are meant to be happen naturally. Take your son with you, too.

I'd say it sounds like a lovely meeting! She sounds like a nice girl....and I think it couldn't hurt at all to go to the concert she is hosting.


Disclaimer-not related to thread

******MS1, you do realize this is an age-gap support site, correct? Because your comments are ticking me off, and that's not a good thing around here.******

well if nothing else she made my day. Ive had a relationship with someone this age and in responce to the person who said by the time im 70 shes 39, guess what ill still be 70 with or without her. intergenerational relationships are becoming much more a part of our society.

Way to go! Nice comeback!

... and what the heck, just goes to show you, you meet more people in Laundry places than dating sights.
Especially now, with new laws (for meeting foreign women on the web) and inevitably for meeting people on the web period! You know how it is, you can't be too safe online!

I don't care about what people think, it's much more important what I think of myself and my own situation and whether or not I'm happy. Happiness is all we can really ask for, and it can come from anything or anyone, and so long as no one's getting hurt, there should be no jugement, but alas there always is.

There is judgment because of envy and jealousy. They think that someone older who "gets a younger person" is somehow "cheating". It's treated like line-jumping or taking an extra turn that's not yours. The whole mentality is so juvenile. I've noticed that the people most judgmental of age difference are those who are the most immature themselves.

A middle aged man has lived 1/2 his life, sure he can start anew, but he's used, not fresh, he can't help but impart his ways on the YW, taking her ability to become her own person and molding it into his own styles.
You have very little respect for the human soul. You treat people as used cars, nothing more than merchandise whose only value is how new their paint job is or how shiny their chrome is. You also make the false assumption that a man's only reason for seeking a woman is to have someone he can control, dominate and have "as a trophy". I feel sorry for you, because you are so wrong in your thinking. I've heard your party line a million times, and quite frankly it's getting old and tired and not very becoming of a board that supports age-gap relationships.

Damn, this place is much more fun than myspace!!!!!!!!...lol...anyways...I think all of us can learn from people of any age. I shouldnt be but I am astonded when my 20 yr old starbucks barista hits me with " Mark life is not a straight line, there are a lot of starts and stops, lots of new beginnings". Shes right. My last relationship which ended a year and a half ago was with someone much younger. I realized that when the relationship ended, (keep in mind that Ive been in relationships with women my age, older than me, younger than me, same age as me and guess what, all of them ended, and the only one I know age influenced was when i married at 20, way to young) she taught me more about love than anyone Ive ever known, she was in her early 20's. I dont think any of us set out with this number in mind, I do know I connect better with younger people, its just me. That doesnt mean i dont connect with older people, I do. The qualities of intelligence, warmth, honesty, and core values that coincide with mine dont change because of age. Physically what attractes me to a younger woman is the same as what attracts me to an older one, pretty smile and eyes. Energy and enthusiasm as well as the abilty to feel comfortable with ones self are all things that attract me. Life is too short not too know what the needs are and how they are more important than the wants. To each his/her own so long as you can truley say you are happy with life and those you share it with.

Damn, this place is much more fun than myspace!!!!!!!!...lol...anyways...I think all of us can learn from people of any age. I shouldnt be but I am astonded when my 20 yr old starbucks barista hits me with " Mark life is not a straight line, there are a lot of starts and stops, lots of new beginnings". Shes right. My last relationship which ended a year and a half ago was with someone much younger. I realized that when the relationship ended, (keep in mind that Ive been in relationships with women my age, older than me, younger than me, same age as me and guess what, all of them ended, and the only one I know age influenced was when i married at 20, way to young) she taught me more about love than anyone Ive ever known, she was in her early 20's. I dont think any of us set out with this number in mind, I do know I connect better with younger people, its just me. That doesnt mean i dont connect with older people, I do. The qualities of intelligence, warmth, honesty, and core values that coincide with mine dont change because of age. Physically what attractes me to a younger woman is the same as what attracts me to an older one, pretty smile and eyes. Energy and enthusiasm as well as the abilty to feel comfortable with ones self are all things that attract me. Life is too short not too know what the needs are and how they are more important than the wants. To each his/her own so long as you can truley say you are happy with life and those you share it with.

I'm very late on this thread but I like your attitude. Just go with the flow and see where the path leads with the young woman in question:yes:

Real stuff to think about. IMO, it takes a strong man to fight off his lust for a YW, to realize what she needs is a man her own age to begin life with, to share life with, to build a life with. A middle aged man has lived 1/2 his life, sure he can start anew, but he's used, not fresh, he can't help but impart his ways on the YW, taking her ability to become her own person and molding it into his own styles.


To Ms1 What is your real reason for being here? to bash people who find love with older and younger people? I am sorry you failed in your relationships and seem extremely bitter but to make such a statement on a site that supports ageless will not be tolerated

If you could refrain from such comments we would all be happy thank you

To the OP Like I said before GO FOR IT!!!!1