New member here!

Hi everyone! I was looking for some help with dealing with my desire to be with a beautiful yw. So I did a search and to my suprise came upon this bbs. I think this is great.

My story is tha I am a 37 y/o male who is totally in love with a 18 y/o female waitress who I have gotten to know and been friends with the past few years. Just to prove that I was invited to her sister's wedding who is a waitress also at the same restaurant. I am sure this story is very similar to all the others here. I just don't know how to deal with this tremendous effection I have towards this wonderful girl whom is just as beautiful inside as she is outside. Besides my constent attempts of flirting with her. She doesn't really know or I don't think she knows how great my affections are for her. She is in her last year of high school and from what I can tell a very popular girl. What has attracted me more so to this girl other than her great beauty is her tremendous maturity for a 18 y/o. I mean this girl has her head on straight. She is a ball of energy, very family oriented and knows what she wants to do with her life. I don't really know how to explain this. I see this girl and I could have had the lousiest day and when I see her smiling face I forget about my troubles... totally. At least while I am near her.

I have thought time and time again how I could possibly be with this girl but my realistic side always comes out and says there is now way. Now before I go on I would like to state that although I am 37. I don't look it. I would say from what others have told me that I look around 27-30 years of age. I work out on a regular basis and try to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I have my own business and home. So I don't think I am a loser by any means. I have worked hard for what I have. Enough about me!

I apologize if I am rambling on here. This bbs has allowed me to vent my feelings which I have not really been able to do for awhile concerning this matter. I hope didn't make my self look like some psycho to everyone reading this. I would never do anything to hurt this girl. That is how much I care for her. Just thought I could get some assistance with all this. Thanks!

Well now that's a sticky situation!

You say she is still in high school...well, even though she is 18, you need to be cautious. I assume, being still in high school, that she lives with her parents. Therefore she is still under their rules...and dating you, if she is interested, could cause problems. I say that not knowing her parents, but knowing typical reactions of typical parents.

I would say, in my humble opinion, that your wisest course of action is to take no action until she has at least graduated. Remain friends, of course, but keep it at that.

You say you have known her for a few years...waiting until June shouldn't be too difficult. When she has graduated, then I would set out to find out if your feelings are reciprocated...ask her out for coffee, something non-threatening. But cross one bridge at a time...

Good luck to you!

larasteele

Thanks for your post. Just to let you know I have actually met both of her parents and other immediate family members. I can remember meeting them and thinking to myself. "I hope they can't tell I am interested in their daughter". Another f.y.i. From what her parents said to me... she spoke highly about me to them.

I will definitely take your advice and wait it out. Thanks again!

Originally posted by larasteele
Well now that's a sticky situation!
I would say, in my humble opinion, that your wisest course of action is to take no action until she has at least graduated. Remain friends, of course, but keep it at that. But cross one bridge at a time...
Good luck to you!

I completely agree with this statement. I was a 17 year old waitress once. Mature but minus a lot of life experience. I also had an OM at the time the SWORE he loved me but made the age difference such a problem that he ended up yo-yoing me to the point where it became very dramatic, drove me insane and I ended up staying in a mental instiution for two weeks because of it. Later on, I found out he really wasn't a nice man. (Understand I'm not saying you are anything like this fella. ;) )

The fact of the matter was, although I'd had some rough times, up until that time I was relatively sheltered. My parents objected to me seeing him, so I moved out; my friends thought it was weird, so I lost them; he couldn't handle whatever he was feeling for me, so he tossed me out of his life too. I ended up at 18 with nothing. My "re-bound" from that ended up in a ten year relationship with and a marriage with someone my age, but ended very unhappily.

Hence, my hesitation, at 28 years old, to start dating a man who is 53. But the life experience put to this woman of 28 is so far beyond the girl I was at 17 - I don't even recognize myself when I think about those days.

(Rambling is my trademark, sorry. :o )

Anyhow, if you truly care about this girl, give her some time to grow a little and make sure YOU are sure about your feelings for her. There is nothing quite as tragic as a girl whose heart has been broken at the hands of a confused or uncertain fella. (Although, I MUST say, you sound pretty certain! :D )

As a footnote to this story, the man I am with now (53 years old) is one of the most compassionate, wonderful human beings I have ever met and he owns my heart completely. He treats me with the care and kindness I have always longed for and knows himself well enough that we have no surprises. We are completely in love and totally happy together. It CAN work and work WELL.

Good luck!

Happy4Me.
Your story is a very genuine indeed. I am sorry that the relationship you had at 17 had to be such a life learning experience, but isn't that what life is about anyways. I can only respond by saying this. I do care very much for this girl...so much it hurts sometimes. I will reassure you by saying this. In my lifetime, I have only been in a couple of serious relationships...both ending for one reason or another. Although I have dated frequently nothing came of any of them. Leaving me saying to myself. Why is it happenning that I cannot find someone for me. I don't convey strong feelings to just anyone and if the way this girl makes me feel means anything...I will take her feelings into account when and if the time comes. If fate should have us be together someday I will definitely keep your story in mind.

Awesome! I have to tell you, as much as it scared me to enter into my current relationship, I've never been happier in my life. (And our age gap is considered pretty big by most standards. He's actually a year older than my father and four years older than my mother.) I have never had someone love me and show such care and concern for my well being. He blows my ex out of the water when it comes to loving me! It can work. It DOES work all the time! Happily ever after is NOT a myth.

Good luck!

Happy

that you are willing to wait, that is a good sign...so far so good. But I agree with Happy....she's gonna need room to grow. And if and when you two ever get together you have to grow with each other!

I hope the day does come for us to be together, and if it does i will welcome growing wih her. I just hope I am not too old when it happens! :(