lindzi
04-10-2008, 03:52 AM
I'm not sure I'm putting this in the right place. I've looked around a little and this thread thing is the only way I've found to post. Anyway, Hi everyone - I'm Lindzi, 46 yo and my BF is 22. I think this is going to be a great help in our relationship. Assuming we still have it after I have a talk with him.
In the past I've turned down guys for dates who were two years younger. Something about current BF though got to me. We have been dating for seven months and from the beginning I told him, "I'm way too old for you." And that the age diff bothered me. A lot. He said, "not me." He's been making plans for way in the future since like our second or third date. Before a month, he had asked me to marry him. Feeling a little nervous about everything I made a joke like I wasn't taking him seriously, which really hurt his feelings. He always says he loves me first and if I hurriedly or distractedly say, "love you too." Hurt feelings again.
Here's the thing though. He doesn't know my actual age and just this week asked about it; I'm sure he's been curious but didn't ask till now. I think he was trying to prove he really doesn't care. For some reason, duh, my age answer came out as a lie. I said, "I'm ten years older." So now I know I have to tell him the truth. He, of course, needs the truth to make an informed decision.
I don't know if this is relevant or not to these issues but I think I should mention it. He's blind, almost totally. A little perception of the bulk and basic size of people or objects is all he can see. I am visually impaired/legally blind myself. He says his friends tell him that I'm pretty or whatever, and so that he's proud to be with me and not worried about the # of years.
Any advice on how to admit this recent lie and have him not hate me. I understand if the gap is too big; really I do. I know it's selfish to want to keep him by not giving full disclosure. He has the right to know so he can move on if he must.
Thx in advance for the help! -- Lindzi
In the past I've turned down guys for dates who were two years younger. Something about current BF though got to me. We have been dating for seven months and from the beginning I told him, "I'm way too old for you." And that the age diff bothered me. A lot. He said, "not me." He's been making plans for way in the future since like our second or third date. Before a month, he had asked me to marry him. Feeling a little nervous about everything I made a joke like I wasn't taking him seriously, which really hurt his feelings. He always says he loves me first and if I hurriedly or distractedly say, "love you too." Hurt feelings again.
Here's the thing though. He doesn't know my actual age and just this week asked about it; I'm sure he's been curious but didn't ask till now. I think he was trying to prove he really doesn't care. For some reason, duh, my age answer came out as a lie. I said, "I'm ten years older." So now I know I have to tell him the truth. He, of course, needs the truth to make an informed decision.
I don't know if this is relevant or not to these issues but I think I should mention it. He's blind, almost totally. A little perception of the bulk and basic size of people or objects is all he can see. I am visually impaired/legally blind myself. He says his friends tell him that I'm pretty or whatever, and so that he's proud to be with me and not worried about the # of years.
Any advice on how to admit this recent lie and have him not hate me. I understand if the gap is too big; really I do. I know it's selfish to want to keep him by not giving full disclosure. He has the right to know so he can move on if he must.
Thx in advance for the help! -- Lindzi