Long distant relationships suck!!!!

I want to be there with him so bad, that sometimes I feel like I'm dieing inside...working things out takes so long.

I miss him. Talking on the phone, chatting on line or webcamming just isn't the same!:(

I want to be there with him so bad, that sometimes I feel like I'm dieing inside...working things out takes so long.

I miss him. Talking on the phone, chatting on line or webcamming just isn't the same!:(

I am where you are at..its been almost 1 year on april 20 that I had last seen my kai but as it is we did order the visa and in about 2 weeks we mail it off so he can move here and we can finally be married...its been a LONG rode but soooooooo worth the wait

if you can schedule movies together rent the same one like we do and have a movie night WHILE on the headset chatting

with us the headset is on 24/7 even when i am gone or he is so we hear each other come home LOL..its kinda like he is here..also do not forget to mail letters I am not talking emails I am talking US POSTAL spray with perfume and lipstick kisses send lil gifts...we do that about every two months

I understand how it feels

yeah, they're hard, no doubt about it!! Lucent and I vascillate between these two mindsets:

"This sucks! We hate this!!"

and

"This is NOT fun but this is really strengthening our bond and wow, wait until we're together for good; it will SO be worth it!"

Having a mic on at night helps a lot - like GG said, having some level of "normal" is vital and, for us, being able to wake up in the middle of the night and hear each other breathing is so incredibly comforting. We also look at the sky at night together sometimes because there's just something about knowing that we're sharing the same moon together, even though we're thousands of miles apart.

The thing that helps us the most though is remembering that, while we want nothing more than to go hurtling forward into romantic bliss together at rocket speed, we're being forced to take it slow and steady, which we both believe in our hearts, in the long run, will be a very good thing indeed.

I was there in Feb. for 2 weeks +. As soon as I can get the money in hand, I'm going for the max allowable without a visa, 6 months minus 1 day. It will be interesting to see how we do together that long in his small apartment.:D We have been having trouble with our webcams. sometimes we can't get to see each other, tonight there wasn't any sound.:rolleyes: It was rather comical and silly though.

I just miss him so much.:(

I totally agree! LDR, does suck!!!
My husband and I met online and we spendt every moment available talking online (7-8) hours every day for about 1 year...

Sure we really got to know eachother... but longing to hold one another and bee together IRL really did SUCK!!! (to put it mildly)

I was there in Feb. for 2 weeks +. As soon as I can get the money in hand, I'm going for the max allowable without a visa, 6 months minus 1 day. It will be interesting to see how we do together that long in his small apartment.:D We have been having trouble with our webcams. sometimes we can't get to see each other, tonight there wasn't any sound.:rolleyes: It was rather comical and silly though.

I just miss him so much.:(

AHH I remember when that happen to us click on start menu the right click on where it says my computer...got o properties and then look for device manager..you might have to upgrade your sound and that all you do is right click on what you need sound or realtek whateveryou have and it says look for upgrade

Those 2 years were the best and worst of everything. We have the strongest relationship and great communication because of it, but man there were some struggles. The last couple months it was completely clear to me that I couldn't make it too much longer... and then...

He got a job here, and he's asleep next to me right now and all is right with the world!

Hang in there... someday, it'll be you!

It really does suck, especially at those times when you're just not feeling like yourself and you wish he was there pampering you, but it helps when you look forward to the times to come or even backward to the loving memories.;)

Kilny, you're preaching to the choir!! ;) I feel your pain!! :bighug:

*sigh* I really miss Lucent :(

He's been back in England for one month and 5 days (but who's counting? Oh wait -- we are. Every hour feels like a day!!)

time for me to head to bed - this is one thing we do that I really like; we sleep with our headphones and mics on so we can hear each other breathing if we wake up in the middle of the night. something about that is SO comforting for both of us!

I agree that LDR's can really suck sometimes. They are the most challenging yet rewarding relationships a couple can take on.

To all you LDR's here: hang in there! :)

I think it takes a lot of patience to be in an LDR. It's been a year and 7 months for me and we haven't even been able to meet in person yet. But for me, it works out because in love I tend to jump the gun a lot. I get so swept away in the emotions I tend not to think straight and act irrationally. With an LDR, I have to wait and my decisions are more thought out and responsible. I also feel that it allowed me to fall in love with him for all the right reasons, and not just because I was lonely or wanted someone so badly I'd settle. I have such a strong bond with him intellectually, mentally and emotionally and we trust each other so much. We plan things out, like us both finishing college before he moves here and we move in. We want to have money to support our little family and not have to struggle. We both have separate plans for our lives that include each other. And we're realistic when we plan as well. We take into consideration that things can change and plans can fall through. I'm not sure things would have gone the same way if he were here in person. So it works out for me just fine. Don't get me wrong though, every day is a challenge and at night I wish he was here holding me. :( Especially at night.:(

Funny thing is, I never would have been able to stand this when I was younger. It would have drove me nutz! :P So, I feel for all those who are having a hard time with it. :(

*hugs and empathy to my fellow LDR-ers*

Well, I was in a LDR recently. But, broke it off in Dec. It just was too difficult, especially when there's 'issues' that just can't be worked out. Then, on top of that, one can't even talk face to face..or do those things (to heal the hurt, and get that hug, and kiss it all away..) so, it's tough..I'm not saying it can't work..but, for me, it didn't..but, I learned a lot..;)

Now, while go through this breakup, I met this man (we were both going through a breakup) and it really helped us both..but, he's from Canada..which, he's only over the border from here in the US..so, it's NOT impossible..but, I'm not ready for anything! We just said 'friends' and he told me, we'll always be friends..so, that feels safe for me right now..and it's pretty amazing, I mean it really is FRIENDSHIP..he has talked about this 'single's dances' and me other guys I speak to..so, that puts the pressure off of both of us...I'm just enjoying knowing I have a REAL FRIEND..

So, I think although (at least for me) I'd never purposely seek out a LDR, but IF it happens..what can you do?? you walk away from it, or just see?? with NO commitments?? I just happen to be one of those 'hopelessly in love' type of woman..:yes: and just take things S L O W L Y.. at this stage of my life, I just enjoy meeting different ppl, different ages, and just to enjoy life!

naturewoman

;)

that's exactly it - most of us don't seek them; they just happen. And you just make it work or decide it's a bigger challenge than you're up to.

You bring up another good point. Lucent and I both agree; settling disagreements when you're thousands of miles apart from each other is particularly challenging, especially when you've spent time face-to-face as well. He and I, for example, resolve our differences very easily in person. Body language, a look, a gesture... these unspoken things go a long way in conflict resolution. Learning how to get over those bumps in the road using words and only words is a big, big deal in my book. We struggle with it sometimes because, while neither of us likes conflict, neither of us backs down when we feel strongly about something either, which sometimes does result in some not-so-fun conversations. But we both work hard to get through them and I am really proud of us and the way we work through those tough times together!

that's exactly it - most of us don't seek them; they just happen. And you just make it work or decide it's a bigger challenge than you're up to.

You bring up another good point. Lucent and I both agree; settling disagreements when you're thousands of miles apart from each other is particularly challenging, especially when you've spent time face-to-face as well. He and I, for example, resolve our differences very easily in person. Body language, a look, a gesture... these unspoken things go a long way in conflict resolution. Learning how to get over those bumps in the road using words and only words is a big, big deal in my book. We struggle with it sometimes because, while neither of us likes conflict, neither of us backs down when we feel strongly about something either, which sometimes does result in some not-so-fun conversations. But we both work hard to get through them and I am really proud of us and the way we work through those tough times together!


one word...webcams...LOL this way I can see his face if we have a disagreement which is rare

I agree they are tough..BUT you have to be strong...if your not strong then i would not agree to do so

No I didn't seek out a long LDR, it just happened. I believe things happen for a reason at the time they need to. It's just so hard after being with him to be so far apart again. I'm planning on visiting for an extended time , as I said earlier, and looking into moving closer, so it would only be a little over a hour each way. That would be so much nicer. But alas, things take time and money to work out and in the meantime, I miss him so much.

I'm the logical one to move, since I'm only working part time right now and looking to start fresh some where else. I hope that someday it'll work out so I can get a visa and move there. I love it there, especially with him.

No I didn't seek out a long LDR, it just happened. I believe things happen for a reason at the time they need to. It's just so hard after being with him to be so far apart again. I'm planning on visiting for an extended time , as I said earlier, and looking into moving closer, so it would only be a little over a hour each way. That would be so much nicer. But alas, things take time and money to work out and in the meantime, I miss him so much.

I'm the logical one to move, since I'm only working part time right now and looking to start fresh some where else. I hope that someday it'll work out so I can get a visa and move there. I love it there, especially with him.

AWWW YOU sound in love:tongue2::yes: I know the feeling....I can't wait till kai gets home..MAN seems like forever BUT he is SOOOOO worth the wait!

I hope it brings you closer one day so you two canbe happy!!

AWWW YOU sound in love:tongue2::yes: I know the feeling....I can't wait till kai gets home..MAN seems like forever BUT he is SOOOOO worth the wait!

I hope it brings you closer one day so you two canbe happy!!

Thanks. I am in love. No one has ever made me feel this way. I feel so contented, happy and stress free when I'm with him. I don't care if we don't do anything but just sit and veg out. He is so sweet and wonderful. (Treats me like a princess:o) He is so appreciative of anything I do for him, no matter how little it may be.

Thanks. I am in love. No one has ever made me feel this way. I feel so contented, happy and stress free when I'm with him. I don't care if we don't do anything but just sit and veg out. He is so sweet and wonderful. (Treats me like a princess:o) He is so appreciative of anything I do for him, no matter how little it may be.

LOL I know how this feels I feel like a princess to and I have never been treated this way...feels incredible and i feel so blessed..makes me cry thinking about it LOL

Isn't it wonderful to feel this way? To feel like you're someone special and that someone is thinking of you all the time? *dreamy sigh* I think that's one of the things that helps me get through the long distance. ^__^ Knowing that he's so eager to every day to get home and talk to me and constantly tell me I'm beautiful. We're lucky girls! ^.^

:) I would agree on the lucky part, just the distance thing sucks.

Sometimes it's just a really small thing that really touches my heart. Maybe he just sends me a smilie, wink, I love you, or I just want you here, and it's just the right time I needed it. How did he know? He's over 2000 miles away.

He's also not centered on himself and his needs, but mine instead. It makes me want to do even more for him and makes our relationship even better. I think we are so much more considerate of each other because of this. It's so awesome to be in a relationship with a guy like this. I hope that I make him feel even half as good as he makes me feel.

Try to meet each other every month at least once. Do everything you can to meet at least once a month.

That's a really tall order.

I am a single mother with the responsibility of paying all the bills for me and my three kids, and my boyfriend is 4000 km away. Visiting once a month would be too expensive, and it would mean losing my job, abandoning my kids and being ridiculously unrealistic!

After four years of this I'm about to throw in the towel.

He bought a flight to stay with me from Aug 3-31 but then I found out I have to fly to the USA Aug 10-16.

:eek:

Needless to say he's not impressed and he doesn't have the option of another time of year for a visit.

Oh, well.

I know how it feels but 4 years is a long time...I would maybe start thinking about who will move to where now:)

I know we are 2 years and he is coming home

He bought a flight to stay with me from Aug 3-31 but then I found out I have to fly to the USA Aug 10-16.

:eek:

Needless to say he's not impressed and he doesn't have the option of another time of year for a visit.

Oh, well.

That is so hard Charlotte!! I feel for you both so much. It sounds like there is no way you can change your plans..work I assume? And he`s already bought his flight... I know I sometimes get thoughts like oh no what if something comes up for my man -- he`s got a ticket and plans to come visit me for 2 1/2 weeks this summer when he`s got an option for time off from his Master`s course....and I think what if he suddenly can`t because of some school thing that comes up!! But...so far so good. I wish I could offer more support or wave my magic wand and make it work for you to not have to leave then. Is there really no way to change it?

I just had this thought....can he go with you on your trip to the US? That would be perfect.:yes:

*sigh* :(

I'm having a "this SUCKS" day. I miss Lucent so much I can hardly stand it!

*sigh* :(

I'm having a "this SUCKS" day. I miss Lucent so much I can hardly stand it!

me to girl:( I just want kai home NOW!:yes::(

I just had this thought....can he go with you on your trip to the US? That would be perfect.:yes:

I will be busy for long hours each day, with only a few hours to sleep. I'm not interested in dealing with him under those circumstances in a hotel in another country. He's very needy emotionally and he would suck the life out of me.

:( Aw you seem so upset it hurts to read what you are saying.

Oh man....

LDR is driving me crazy and its driving her crazy too. Every night, we would stay glued in the phone for hours (seriously 3 - 7 hrs daily, not counting the day time "i miss you' call or the text messges).

It's really tough but on the upside, I feel that I knew her more as compared to say, someone that is next to me. Could be, I tend to take for granted, little things about a person until its too late.

LDR on the other hand, it makes me remember every little piece I know about her and treasure those little tidbits and I believe it does make the relationship stronger.

What is a better way to test a relationship but time and distance.

The only thing we can do as a support group is give each other comfort and that LDR works and love would transcend time and distance.

Be strong and hold on to your love.