shes complimenting me more, is she interested

Soo..in the never ending she likes me she likes me not. Today I was walking from my car to my Starbucks. As I was approaching the store, a young lady who works there noticed me and stopping in the parking said to me " I really like your sunglasses (Rayban wayfarers). This young lady so happens to be same Barista I have crush on and am attracted too. ( can 52 yr olds have crushes). Ive complimented her numerous times on her looks, work, and flirted with her.

So, I know all the rules of attraction, unless shes attracted I cant make it happen and it wont happen.

Anthing to the " I really like your sunglasses" compliment?

Thanks..Mark

A good start. :1appl: Compliment her back, but don't over-compliment her.
However, (and I speak from experience) don't get your hopes up too high. She may compliment lots of guys and might be a total flirt.

Take it step by step. :yes:


Good luck! :thumbsup_still:

However, (and I speak from experience) don't get your hopes up too high. She may compliment lots of guys and might be a total flirt.


Yep...that's ME and it's gotten me in trouble so many times and give guys the wrong idea even more...hence my trouble!!!

She may have just liked your sunglasses...but then again what do I know?

A good start. :1appl: Compliment her back, but don't over-compliment her.
However, (and I speak from experience) don't get your hopes up too high. She may compliment lots of guys and might be a total flirt.

Take it step by step. :yes:


Good luck! :thumbsup_still:

I am working on a woman in my dad's bank. I dunno how much older she is but it ain't much because she looks decently young. I compliment her when I see her every friday. I keep it real though and I don't do it EVERY friday, if there is something I like that she did with her hair, maybe classier clothing than usual or a different necklace or pair or earrings she gets the compliment. They are genuine I don't just throw one out there for her. I've not gotten too many back but I do get a smile when she knows I see her in the teller area. She's now to the point where she sometimes starts a small quick conversation. I'm pretty sure the other tellers know what's up with me as I am my usual blatantly obvious self. She was a lil shy starting out. I helped her with some gardening by giving some tips (I took A LOT of agricultural classes in high school).

Nah just compliment her back and keep it real dude. It's all good. Stick to complimenting her on stuff you like. Make a point to notice to but don't look too hard for a compliment.

Keep it real dude and good luck.

she really isnt the flirty type. shes pretty shy. she is a Starbucks barista so I ge that customer relationship type thing. I know all the employees very well, enuf that a few have requested me as their myspace friend. this isn t like that. she asks q's like " so what ru doing this weekend" when she asked about my sunglasses it was more like to get my attention. i asked an employee there tonight, " when a woman compliments your sunglasses, what is that", she said its a conversation starter and shes showing interest. lil did she know it was her fellow employee.

we will C.. I do know a lady will let you know is shes interested. i cant change or influence that

lol

Sounds like you got it pretty figured out. Good luck on that. Starbucks isn't exactly my type of scene. It's a nice place but barely has much to my taste in food, drink and what not. I'm really not a coffee and book kind of guy. Magazines are more my flavor. Mopar Collector's guide, 5.0 Mustangs & Fast Fords, Soldiers of Fourtune is nice and Guns n Ammo but I usually like to keep tabs on the double action revolvers, semi-automatic pistols, and assault rifles in general.

Outside of that I like my e-newsletter and game updates from the New York Yankees. :)

she really isnt the flirty type. shes pretty shy. she is a Starbucks barista so I ge that customer relationship type thing. I know all the employees very well, enuf that a few have requested me as their myspace friend. this isn t like that. she asks q's like " so what ru doing this weekend" when she asked about my sunglasses it was more like to get my attention. i asked an employee there tonight, " when a woman compliments your sunglasses, what is that", she said its a conversation starter and shes showing interest. lil did she know it was her fellow employee.

we will C.. I do know a lady will let you know is shes interested. i cant change or influence that

Well, since you have some insight into her personality and knows she's not the flirt, I agree with the employee that she was trying to get a conversation started. She's probably beating up herself over such a lame comment "I like your sunglasses! Couldn't I do better than that?" lol! Maybe she was tongue tide when she saw you.;)

I think that it seems she went out of her way to compliment your sunglasses and that says that she is interested. She could have just let you leave or said nothing, so maybe there is something to it, then again maybe she really did like your sunglasses:cool:

Padre, I think that is a very good sign, so... attack!!! I mean, try to make a date happen.

, so... attack!!! .
Lol...Sheila if he pounces on her we have you to blame! I sit here and imagine a cat pouncing on his prey! Attack! LMAO:bgrin2:

I am working on a woman in my dad's bank. I dunno how much older she is but it ain't much because she looks decently young.

I had to chuckle at this, cuteguy BEEEECCCAAAUUUUUSEEEEE......

Jake thought I was "decently young" when he first started "working on " me. His guess was ~34....I was 48:eek:....Still "decently young" in by book:bgrin2:

Anyway, Padre...YES, it's possible (and normal) to have a crush on someone when you are 52 (I'll be 52 in Oct.) !!!

Just keep up the playful banter with your crush, rather than thinking of it as "flirting". Just be open, accessible, genuine and kind...if she's really interested she will keep up the conversations. In general, you can tell that someone is interested IN AT LEAST FRIENDSHIP (and what's wrong with that?) if they regularly initiate conversations. I think the sunglasses comment could be a start.

Thank you all for the thoughts and comments. Nice to have a place to voice these type life circumstances........

I had to chuckle at this, cuteguy BEEEECCCAAAUUUUUSEEEEE......

Jake thought I was "decently young" when he first started "working on " me. His guess was ~34....I was 48:eek:....Still "decently young" in by book:bgrin2:

Anyway, Padre...YES, it's possible (and normal) to have a crush on someone when you are 52 (I'll be 52 in Oct.) !!!

Just keep up the playful banter with your crush, rather than thinking of it as "flirting". Just be open, accessible, genuine and kind...if she's really interested she will keep up the conversations. In general, you can tell that someone is interested IN AT LEAST FRIENDSHIP (and what's wrong with that?) if they regularly initiate conversations. I think the sunglasses comment could be a start.

hehehehee I know what you mean. some people think I'm 17. But I'm nooott.. :)

The next time she asks you what you are doing this weekend, be speific, and tell her about something you'll be doing AFTER she gets off work.

"Well, I thought I'd take myself (I'll be alone) to the 7:30 showing (time) of that movie (name movie) down at the (name theater) and then gets some dinner."

Then your not asking her out, but you're giving her an opp to 'run into you' on 'accident.';)

Hi Padre,

First off, it's totally normal to have crushes at any age... shows you're alive! :bgrin2:

I don't know whether she returns the crush, but the fact that she complimented you on your glasses is a sign that she noticed you. Well, I'm inclined to think that she noticed YOU rather than simply a nice pair of glasses. Either way, I agree with everyone else, her comment was a conversation opener. Who knows maybe she picked on the glasses because she was too shy to compliment you personally. At the very least she's saying, I like your taste, which is always a positive step! :)

Thanks Phoenix, she did make it a point to let me know she saw me, I got that. So let me ask the ladies here something.

Do you ladies think to yourslef : "hmmm hes complimenting me a lot or he sure makes it a point to speak to me" when guys are trying to show interest. I mean whats the mind set of women in these situations. ALso, does your radar signal you when a guy is interested, even if its just in conversation? do woman get the vibe from men? I say women's hiton-o-meter is constantly scanning.

Do you ladies think to yourslef : "hmmm hes complimenting me a lot or he sure makes it a point to speak to me" when guys are trying to show interest. I mean whats the mind set of women in these situations. ALso, does your radar signal you when a guy is interested, even if its just in conversation? do woman get the vibe from men? I say women's hiton-o-meter is constantly scanning.
We're all kind of different, see. Some women are overly conceited and think every guy who comes along is flirting, some might be pretty accurate about men's intentions, and some are pretty oblivious, either accidentally or purposefully. Purposeful obliviousness basically describes my position on the subject (which means I'm not going out of my way to compliment anyone's sunglasses). I think the best way to get around all that Kreskin nonsense is to be as up front about things as you can afford to be.

I work in customer service too, so if I see a customer I know well else where I'll certinaly say hello. I agree about compliments being a conversation starter, when you're taking care of them at a counter or something and it's taking a min or two you make small talk, oh cute purse, or those are great earrings where'd you get them...? etc etc. A compliment on sunglasses from a woman who serves you frequently isn't enough for me... it's nice she remembers you. Keep going there and having that business small talk and see if it goes anywhere else. I flirt when I work too, that's just my personality, I like to make people feel good by paying small compliments, and my compliments are always sincere, I won't make something up, but I take advantage of those situations as well to get a smile out of someone... or possiblly some more info... if I AM interested in the guy, maybe it'll strike up a longer conversation ending with an exchange of numbers or somethin (doesn't happen often) but sometimes. So you kind of just have to play it by ear.

There is a book by Malcolm Gladwell called Blink. In it he says that we all know the answer with in 10 seconds of asking our selves the question. In fact he says that the list or way of Pros and Cons first used by Ben Franklin to make a hard decision on something is not as accurate as our "gut feel" or intuition. I say we all have it, I say women really have it, if nothing else out of a inate way to protect nature's young. I think what we all do, is twist it to fulfill our own agendas or negative thoughts. So to put all that into my situation with STarbucks Girl, I feel shes into me, shes not a flirt, Im even suprised she even works at a Starbucks. HOwever (just twisted it), shes 21 im 52, hell yes Im attracted to her. having said all that, my father, God rest his soul once said to me."son never date a waitress, they want you to fall for them, means bigger tips"........yet I do beleive in the if you want it all you have to do is ask, never fails.........then what do you do with it and or be careful what you ask for you will surely get it.........

I wouldn't consider a comment about the glases to equate to interest. She's just being polite. People who make their living serving the public, like those in the food service industry, like the baristas at Starbucks, have to be friendly, it's their job. I would advise never interpret friendliness from someone in the food service industry as interest. They're just doing their job.

There are other subtle ways to identify interest. Does she "light up" when you enter the room, more so than with other customers. Does her pupils get larger. Are there any coy glances from the side of her eye in your direction. Does she run her fingers through her hair when talking with you. Does she get nervous around you. Does her smile get bigger when she's talking to you.

Remember, she may not want her co-workers to know she has the hots for an older man. Which will make your job figuring her out even more difficult.

I am a big fan of PP-04's direct approach, but that isn't appropriate for everyone, or every situation.

be smooth

"There are other subtle ways to identify interest. Does she "light up" when you enter the room, more so than with other customers. Does her pupils get larger. Are there any coy glances from the side of her eye in your direction. Does she run her fingers through her hair when talking with you. Does she get nervous around you. Does her smile get bigger when she's talking to you"............Yes she does all those GEO55, hell she cant even talk when Im there and she has this look of "OMG, what the hell did i say that" when she says somehting she may think dumb. thats why I think shes into me.

I think you also brought up the hard part..AGE GAP. I think we both are aware of the same thing here. Hell I may as well bite the bullet and go for it. I also dont want to come on too her as Im sure many Baritas get hit on. They are only trying to make a living Maybe give her a note, ask her to a movie, tell her im going to go see, such and such and ask her if she wants to go along. That way nobody hear's it all and if she chooses not too, altho awkward upon my return to the store it all get put too rest so to speak.

I suppose I could just continue on, wait for devine intervention..

Knowing what to do is rough, very rough.

In an OM/YW situation its always best if the young lady makes her interest known in a definite, verbal way. In a way more certain than if she was interested in somebody her own age. The average YW doesn't understand the position an OM is in when an Age Gap exists, and its not normal for the young lady to make an overt move like that, so we're left not knowing what to do.

What's normal is for a lady to choose us, then get her interest across to us via subtle signs. They expect us to notice their subtle signs (something many men aren't good at) and then they expect us to make the advance. If she's our own age, and we mis-read her body language, no big deal, men ask women out all the time. But if there's an age gap involved, we risk three things that are not normally a consideration:

(1) we risk grossing out or frightening the YW because of the "dirty old man effect"
(2) we risk hurting our reputation, because rumors will spread and we'll become perceived as a pervert, creepy old man, etc
(3) we risk our standing with the law, as a police report could be filed against us

For instance, I've had a couple of young lady's at my Starbucks show definite interest in me. My town has one Starbucks, its a small farming town, gossip gets around quickly. Rather than risk feeling awkward at the only Starbucks in my town, I chose to ignore the interest of the young ladies until a more assertive gesture was made on their part. The assertive gesture never happened. But at least I can still walk into Starbucks with my reputation intact. There will be many many more opportunities to meet ladies.

George

In an OM/YW situation its always best if the young lady makes her interest known in a definite, verbal way. In a way more certain than if she was interested in somebody her own age. The average YW doesn't understand the position an OM is in when an Age Gap exists, and its not normal for the young lady to make an overt move like that, so we're left not knowing what to do.
All true, and here's another possible fly in your ointment: this girl's a lowly barista, probably still in college, maybe still thinks of herself as a kid, etc. If she isn't completely full of herself, she may think you're a bit out of her league. Hopefully she's not as neurotic as I was in that kind of situation, but I wanted to throw that out there as a possibility in case she's not as up-front about things as you might expect her to be.

all good points and is why most YW OM relationships start in more eccentric ways. I will keep greeting her and wait for the " so what ru doing this weekend" chit-chat. eyyyyyyyyyyyyy, frustrating. she always seeks me out when shes coming into work to say hi, often glances me when im sitting outiside on the patio. im a "regular" at the store and everyone knows me well, hell i bought the store flowers once as well as giving them an easter basket. one of the baristas tutors a young lady in my sons youth band. i go to baseball games with the store manager once ina while ( a her). so yes, i know how to smoothly deal with these situations but in no way want to offend or upset her. Yet Im getting the vibe from her.

Patience Sucks!!!

Pink Panther remind me not to post " Is the glass half full or Half empty"

I understand the realities of these type relationships and Im glad the majority here still find ways to offer positive thoughts.

I just noticed this..why is there a gun pointed at your head? I was just getting past the Silence of the Lambs look of your profile picture...

I just noticed this..why is there a gun pointed at your head? I was just getting past the Silence of the Lambs look of your profile picture...


You don't think I volunteered for the moderator job do you?

WhiteRose can be very persuasive!

I can be persuasive as well with a high powered rifle. :)

Both of my second cousins are teenagers and boy crazy now. My Cousin Trey said he's sharpening his knives and I told him. "Let me know, I know where an SKS is. The Sierra Omega Bravo may run but he'll die tired." lol :D

He said "I heard that.." :)

Pink Panther remind me not to post " Is the glass half full or Half empty"

I understand the realities of these type relationships and Im glad the majority here still find ways to offer positive thoughts.
Um, not really sure why you would have taken that negatively (and even so, the sarcasm is pretty rude). I was just pointing out that even if she's interested she might not make the first move, so that might be up to you.

ask her out. if you let too much time pass, she'll take it as your not interested.

Hi Padre,

First off, it's totally normal to have crushes at any age... shows you're alive! :bgrin2:

Who knows maybe she picked on the glasses because she was too shy to compliment you personally. At the very least she's saying, I like your taste, which is always a positive step! :)


I totally agree here with Phoenix!:yes:

So this morning I go to my Starbucks where my young lady crush works. As soon as I walk in I see her. I see she looks at me. I talk to a few of the employees as I order all the while thinking of Alex. In fact 2 of them try to engage me in conversation, which Im trying to get out of. I order, hang near the milk, napkins, place and see her to say hi. I got the feeling she was ignoriong me, YIKES!!! ahh let the game begin. So shes taking out the store trash, so I figure I could talk to her on the way back form trash route. I sit with a freind and wait. As she is passing by me, I stop her and ask her over. I say "I have a joke for you, shes says ok. A goose walks into a Pharmacy and asks for Chapstick, the Pharmicist says, follow me, Pharmacist hands the goose the chapstick and asks the goose, anything else? Goose says no, Pharmacist says, ...............can I put it on your bill?" so she laughs and walks away. Later Alex comes outside to start cleaning Starbucks front door glass, which is right next to where I am sitting. I notice shes stumbling with the door. I come over to hold the door for her so she can clean the glass and ask so whats up today, do you have school? she says "No, I only have class on Tuesday, im only taking one class this semester." She says thank you for holding the door and disappears into store.

I go back to my seat on Starbucks patio, as I sit down my buddy says, could you have been more blatant and flirtatious with her. I said, do you think she got that, he says Hell if I did, I know she did........................

So Im starting to look back on all of this. My compliments to her over the past few months, her sunglasses compliment, her even cleaning door near where I sit. Am I making this up? anything to this? Also. keeping in mind what i already know when the woman is younger and what GEO55 said regarding how to approach a younger woman.



Not to mention the old addage......Men pick women choose...........................eyyyyyyyyyyyyy

blatant and flirtatious with her.

Papasito I think it is about time you move it up a notch. How about telling her, how about a cup of coffee at "name the competition, or a nice independent or pop and mom's coffee shop" after work? Do it while yo are helping hold the front door, or when she is out taking the garbage, or whenever there is no other employees that can hear the conversation...

You either continue flirting with her and having fun but no direction or finally you corner her to go out somewhere, specially for coffee since you seem to be so fond of the java! :bgrin2:

Hey, invite her for a coffee gustation (like wine tasting! ;) ) get together to see if the other place has better coffee than Starbucks so it does not seem like a date, but a challenge. How about it?

Just sharing ideas...

Wishing you the best.

If you like this girl so much and think she wants to be with you ASK HER OUT! This is like a run around game, she works at Starbucks just ask to have a cup of coffee with you sometime or go to the movies...if you want her so badly make the first move already!

dude. seriously. ask. her. out!!!

There seem to be two camps in this thread: one that thinks you should just be totally straightforward with the girl, and tell her your intentions; the other feels that while being straightforward has its place, there are other issues that you need to consider before weighing in. I think it's great that you get two sides of the coin, two perspectives, both are valid.

However, I belong to the second camp. I totally agree with George and Pink Panther on this. None of us (on this forum) really have much of clue in terms of this girl's disposition. Is she shy, does it take her a while before she weighs into a relationship, is she risk-averse, or is she a fly by the seat of her pants type girl?

You ask whether women, more generally, pick up on a man's interest, sense the romantic vibe and so on. I think most people (not just women) tend to pick up on vibes, but some people have conditioned themselves to listen to their intuitions, and others have programmed it out of their way of thinking.

I read this book you mentioned in your post... the Malcom Gladwell book called 'Blink'. Yes, it's really interesting. He says that people should learn to go with their intuitions and gut. What's more interesting is his rational explanation of intuition; he calls it thin slicing, and explains that people we think of as 'experts' in different fields, be it an art critic, or marriage counsellor, are usually able to make very accurate split second assessments because of their cumulative knowledge. In otherwords, somewhere in the recesses of their minds, they have built up a repository of knowledge, which they can then access and exercise very quickly. So their gut feeling, or intuition, is actually the embodiment of this breadth of knowledge, and not an irrational process.

So back to the topic of this girl, it's not clear to me just how well you understand this girl. I think you sense there is some level interest, but I think you feel the signs are a bit ambivalent. That's because you don't know her well enough. I mean you're picking up some level of interest, but could it be your antenna senses a degree of hesitation?

As George and PP said, there is probably a very good reason for this. At least in part, she must be mulling over your mild flirtations with her, and trying to figure out how to respond. Her responses to your flirtation don't given me the impression that she is encouraging or discouraging you. You know it can be a very big deal for a younger woman to take the kind of leap necessary to date a much older man. I think the younger you are, the more the pressure of others' expectations (peer attitudes, parental expectations) can bear down on you. (Not that I think she's considering marriage!) Maybe she's never dated anyone more than a few years older than her. Perhaps she is a fairly shy woman.

I would say, tread carefully, and let her give you more of an indication that she is enjoying your flirtation with her.

Ok, so, the real question is:

If she says no, do you still have a place to get coffee?

Really, this is the only thing holding you up. If this is THE watering hole for you, you don't wanna pee where you drink.

HOWEVER....You know why Alladdin got his wishes?



HE ASKED FOR THEM.


If the risk of having to find another place to drink is low enough, ask.

Thanks Gabby and Phoneix, great feedback! Why cant i be more attracted to Russian Women Shotputters, might be easier. It is what it is. Yes, this is a place thats brought me back to life. Theres a book out called How Starbucks Saved My Life, situation is different but not by much. Besides walking my dog, saturday night church and working out This particular Starbucks is my santuary. MIght even be why Im attracted to Alex in the first place, or at least 2nd place. Having said all that, without risk there is no gain. NObody lays on their death bed saying I really regret not having that 2nd scoop of ice cream on dec 21, 2007. More like damn, if only id have spent more time with, or I should have told him/her this..........Ive already got a few of those. I ll trust my gut and let it go to the universe.

Thanks all..........

Having said all that, without risk there is no gain. NObody lays on their death bed saying I really regret not having that 2nd scoop of ice cream on dec 21, 2007. More like damn, if only id have spent more time with, or I should have told him/her this..........Ive already got a few of those. I ll trust my gut and let it go to the universe.

Thanks all..........

Exactly right, without risking yourself to rejection you will never know and not knowing you will always ask yourself "what if." I personally hate the "what ifs."

Interesting day yesterday. I went back to Starbucks for Tea as I usally do. Alex was still working, and I got achance to talk to her at length. I told her of my new job and the hours, and then like a warning shot fired off the bow of a ship, she said those words a man in my position dreads to hear. " wow my Dad works those same hours, 5:30-2". She then asked what did I do for a livng and a very nice reciprocal conversation ensued. She got off work at 5 and saw me outside saying have a nice evening, to my lucky surprise her car pulled up in front she bounced out and ran towards me. Yes fantasies do come true. She looked at me and said, I always forget things and scurried back into the store. Upon her yet again leaving she waved and smiled goodbye.

So there it is, I always wonder exactly what do those words mean when a young woman uses the D word............"wow, my dad has those same work hours"..............whatever the meaning I had a lot of Alex time today all with different circumstance and that is a good thing, whatever the meaning.

Cool. I think she's just trying to relate just bringing up the dreaded "D" word. It's all good. Keep going man.

Personally, let her make the next move.

The D word can mean two things: One, she's not attacted to you, you just remind her of her Dad, OR....she does like you, but like you said, she's shy, and she's using the D word as a defense to buy time.

Maybe she was trying to say that she understands your lifestyle, by mentioning that her father also has the same work schedule. But personally, if I liked an older man, there is no way I would make any kind of reference to my father! I don't mean to discourage you, I can't be sure what this woman is thinking. In any event, there is no harm in waiting for her to give you a more concrete signal... what do you have to lose, you go to that Starbucks anyway... Just keep being friendly, build up a rapport with her over time, and then let your gut guide you.

, she said those words a man in my position dreads to hear. " wow my Dad works those same hours, 5:30-2". .

I don't think the D word really has any significance. It's like a word association game where you say what is at the top of your head. I often vocalize a similarity between my OM and my dad, but its just a realization, "like oh my dad does that..." It really has no meaning is a passing thought about them being at the same stage of life. It doesn't decrease the love or desire one bit!:wink2:

Thanks, Hunnybunny, I think all of this shows me one thing. With a younger woman the signs of interest are sooooooooooooo much more subtle than that of a woman 30's+. A woman that age has so many up and down thoughts throughout the day that even she has trouble with subtlety. Ill continue with my getting to know her see where that leads us.

I think you should just ask her out next you get a moment with her like you did. Maybe she thinks you're just boosting your ego trying to flirt with her, she probably doesn't know you're sincerely interested. There's a difference in flirting and being interested. One does not always go with the other. She gave you information about her class schedule... you know pretty much when she's working... USE THAT INFO to ask her out... mention how how she said she only has class on tuesday and ask if she wants to go to lunch/dinner afterwards. I think YOU have to make a move b/c I think she probably doens't take you seriously. Just like I thought about the OM I was smitten with: "why would he be interested in me, what do I have to offer him? He's older, is established and I'm just in college with a crappy job" So I thought he couldn't possibly be interested in me beyond the flirting to give his ego a boost, or that he was just looking for a fling... Just my opinion.

Ok, so, the real question is:

If she says no, do you still have a place to get coffee?


I just realized after reading that, you can use that question as a way to smooth things over after a no. Coming from a guy just after a no it can be decently funny. :)

Thanks, Hunnybunny, I think all of this shows me one thing. With a younger woman the signs of interest are sooooooooooooo much more subtle than that of a woman 30's+. A woman that age has so many up and down thoughts throughout the day that even she has trouble with subtlety. Ill continue with my getting to know her see where that leads us.

Yup. I run into that all the time. Rarely I run into a girl younger than me who is blatantly obviously interested in me. Usually it's always an older woman.

Thanks Cuteguy great idea, so if you say no can I still have cofffee here..damn ..very good..... I might go for it. I start new job monday and its 530-2, I might go out in ablaze of glory from Starbucks....having said that its one of my life support systems.....if i get any room even an inch im going for it,,,,im going to try to get her talking movies see what happens over the weekend thanks for your thoughts. again proving that younger people like yourself always have such fresh and thinking ideas on life,,,,,

"No sacrifice, no victory." - Witwicky Motto, Transformers

"If a soldier does his best what else is there?" - George Patton

good quote......

Thanks, Hunnybunny, I think all of this shows me one thing. With a younger woman the signs of interest are sooooooooooooo much more subtle than that of a woman 30's+. A woman that age has so many up and down thoughts throughout the day that even she has trouble with subtlety. Ill continue with my getting to know her see where that leads us.
Lol...this is true Mark, we have all kinds of random thoughts during the day and I agree that I am not as sure of myself as an OW might be. I am a pretty shy person, maybe much like your YW you are interested in. From a distance I would smile at you, maybe give you looks but I would never approach you or be forward. Us YW too are afraid of rejection just like everyone else. Maybe that's what her subtlety speaks of.:bunny_4:

Today I was in line at Stabucks and looking at a magazine I had brought. I looked up and Alex was starring at me. I didnt talk to her and went to sit outside. When I left I went inside to talk to her. We had yet another good conversation. I asked of her weekend after she asked about my new job and do I like having the afternoons off. When she answered me about her weekend she said " well my Boyfreind and I are going to" okkkkkkkkkkkkkk, Damn I never even considered a boyfreind. Altho from what ive read boyfreinds to early 20's are more security blankets then anything esle. Having said that. It stunned me a bit, and maybe that was what she intended to do. Interesting how she hasnt mentioned BF before.

oh well.. Theres this very nice pretty Asian YW at my new job that...........

Padre I have to wonder if you're ONLY interested in younger women...? Why go on the hunt for a YW? Just do your own thing and you might meet someone great regardless of age.

I agree with what G-E-L just wrote.

No need to wonder greeneyedlili. Yes..I am only interested in younger women. Sorry if that offends anyone but i have no desire to be with anyone my age. Why would I when the opportunity to be with those I choose to exists.


I have many friends of all ages, including women 20's, 30's 40's 50's and still very good freinds with ex who is older than me. But I thought I made that clear earlier when I first posted here, I connnect with younger women. Im respectful I listen to them, kind sincere honest,I do not lie to them. I have nothing against anyone in what they choose so long as it is not harmful and hurtful.

No need to wonder greeneyedlili. Yes..I am only interested in younger women. Sorry if that offends anyone but i have no desire to be with anyone my age. Why would I when the opportunity to be with those I choose to exists.


I have many friends of all ages, including women 20's, 30's 40's 50's and still very good freinds with ex who is older than me. But I thought I made that clear earlier when I first posted here, I connnect with younger women. Im respectfulI listen to them, kind sincere honest,I do not lie to them. I have nothing aghainst anyone in what thye choose so long as it is not harmful and hurtful.

Don't feel bad about your preference. As long as your intentions are honorable then go for it. I have always had a preference for older men and that has not changed. D never worries about me when I'm in the company of guys my age but he would be a bit jealous if I were in the company of older men. I often see an older man when I'm out and go "damn he's hot!" while my friends stare at me in amazement. Then when they see a young guy and go all crazy over him my response is usually "yeah, I guess he's ok!"

... I am only interested in younger women. Sorry if that offends anyone ...

Speaking for myself, being offended with your choices was not the issue. I believe you could be missing out on a world full of interesting women when you wear blinders for only a certain age group. You are of course welcome to your preferences. My agreement with GEL's comment was not meant to express disapproval of your preferences.

My experience has been to find women whose company I enjoy, who impress me with who they are, in all age groups.

take care

That's all I meant by it. To have a preference is fine, but when one rules out others b/c of age without knowing them further they could miss out on someone they would be very compatible and happy with. Wasn't a judgement in anyway just a caveat. I found this site b/c I (who normally wasn't interested in older men) became interested in one in particular and couldn't really talk to anyone about it, but it took that person for me to stop wearing my own "blinders" and automatically ruling out older men just b/c they were older. So to me, it comes down to the person as a whole regardless, and even though it never worked out with the OM I was interested in, I now know for future reference not to rule people out just b/c of a particular category whether it be age/occupation/ethnicity. Just my 2 cents as usual, I'm good at giving that... pretty much all I can afford these days! ;)

Totally agree with GreeneyedLilly.

thanks for the wonderful comments and input on this topic. we all have preferences in life, i couldnt agree with you more about keeping an open mind towards life. ive dated all races, ages, even genders. I was married for 20 yrs to a very good woman, again 4 yrs my senior. i also think that in life one developes or should develope a more focused and guided approach to what their needs are. The universe will give us exactly what we want so long as we know what it is. thats why so many are unhappy in life they have no clue what they need or want out of life; I choose to pursue life and not let life live me. I choose to do that with a YW.........

thanks again for everyones input and comments

Mark