Joined for no reason?

:confused:I Joined the site when I met a younger guy he is 27 and I am 38 I have 2 kids and he has never been married --- I am divorced and he lives with his dad at home. We met and I was so anti dating younger men I kept calling him the "young guy" but he persisted long story short we did start to date. I don't look my age I look much younger and have a pretty decent shape "hot" as he would say. Ok why did I say I joined for no reason? I just met with him last night and after 2 weeks of getting to know eachother talking every day him reassuring me he has told me that he has to end it with me because he was seeing someone else when he met me and really liked me and well he had decided that it would be best to end it with both of us because it wasn't fair to either one of us because he doesn't know what he wants. I did not chastise him and I was understanding we kissed goodbye for a while and then we left he said he was going to miss me. He feels really bad but was determined in his decision I am sad because we did get along very well and despite my apprehension he was what I was looking for (for the most part) the important stuff to me he had. He was affectionate and not afraid to tell me what he felt and he didn't play games he called right back and was attentive. Not to mention that he is completely adorable. I am not happy that there was another girl that he was seeing and I told him but I was not demeaning about it. I just wanted to understand. Now I am sitting here and I feel so sad,, I mean it was only two weeks and I know I will get over it but it took me all these years and out of my comfort zone to actually find what I was looking for in a guy. I never did sleep with him (thank goodness) because I would be really upset. Then again I am sorry I didn't too.....:o My friend said she thinks he will call when he thinks about it but I don't know. I was just wondering if any of you in the beginning of your relationships went through this ?? I mean he is concerned with the fact that I have kids and an ex husband none of which were issues that I brought to him to deal with. I kept us separate from that because we just met. but it still weighed on his mind. He said he didn't want to hurt me or my kids but that it wasn't because I had kids that he was doing this..... I don't know I am just sad.... and I know I will miss kissing him because we kissed so perfectly together,,. I don't know
Thanks for all your input..
L

Hugs for you. English is my second language and I am trying to find words to express myself. I find it weird that he is/was so concerned about ex-husband and children at that stage in the relationship. I mean, the relationship was just starting and you did not even know if it was going to get to the stage of being serious enough for that. Either he put the cart way ahead of the horses, or that was just an excuse.

I have the feeling that he was not good bf material. Living with dad at 27 and dating another girl would raise way too many red flags for me.

Do not give up on YM. YM, OM, age does not matter if the man has serious intentions and feelings.

Welcome to Ageless. Why is he living with his dad at age 27? seems kind of odd. Sorry for your experience, but not all of us YM are like that! Hope you enjoy your stay here.

Thank you for the responses and as for why is he living with his dad at 27?? I don't know. He doesn't seem to have grown up yet and his mom died 2 yrs ago and he did not take that well from what I can tell. He is trying to be a better person (whatever that means) but I don't want to write any thing against him because still and all he is sweet ,,, immature ,,, yes but sweet too. I am a little better since my last post but I guess I just don't understand the ow/ym thing yet. I mean all the concerns he had or said or thought were mine as well I know I was putting the cart before the horse but I don't believe in wasting mine or anyone elses time. I was concerned for the fact that when I turned 50 he would only be 39 a yr older than I am now... and 50 seems so far away for me!! whatever I guess it doesn't matter because it is over and I am getting over it. Will I be open to another ow/ym relationship??? I don't know I really don't I mean he would really have to be something ,,,, and a bit more mature:p I do miss him but won't call it was his decision and I deserve better than that and he knows how to find me if he really wanted to even if he did delete my number from his phone. I thank you for your input though ,,,, very much:yes:

Well, I hope that even if you do not keep the relationship with your YM, you stay here. This is a nice group.

I just wanted to tell you that for some reason, this thread does not appear in the New Threads list, which is where most people find and follow new threads, I almost missed it and I missed your reply for 3 days. It was never in my New Posts list.

I will report this to the site to see if there is a problem.

I wish you luck. Things have a way of working out for the best. When you least expect it, that someone will show up. He may be a ym, om or someone about the same age. Just keep an open mind and your eyes and heart open.

Hi and welcome New. :)

It is definitely not a requirment that you be in an age gap relationship to hang out here. It's the draw here, but is rarely the reason people stay. So please consider sticking around.

I'm sorry that your relationship didn't work out. It appeared he had a lot of the qualities but not everything you want or deserve, and that's what makes it even harder to accept. He's that guy who was 'almost the one'.

But, the great thing is he left you with a more open view of who could be the one so who knows...maybe another YM is in your future. So don't rule out a man for the one thing he can't control, his age. I think if a man has integrity, he will have that same integrity at 21 or 61. ;)

im with a olderwoman shes 39 im 20.we been "friends" for just over a year now.we dont consider a couple but we do what couples do.i was her boyfriend for about 3 months but it didnt work cause our age.we got along great.we both made each other laugh alot but the difference was that shes done it all and wanted to settle down and didnt want to hold my future back.she was a great woman i gotta admit..best ive had so far.we tryed to make it work but it didnt.but i realised that being a friend and being there for her was more important and would last long term.
and you didnt join for no reason.this forum is to share experiences and to help each other out when we have a problem

I just got dumped by a guy who is 32 (I am 40). the one before that is 30. So even though I have no man in my life, I am on this site. Why? Because I am drawn to younger men. I can't help it, I find mainly their attitudes are so refreshing. For some reason, they seem more accepting of an eccentric woman like me. So feel welcomed on this site and also dust off you sandals and don't look back at that rascal...once you are done having a good cry over him. Do grieve, allow yourself to feel hurt. But know that you are a precious jewel and someday a man will see that. For now, have some "me time" and take care of yourself.


It does get better with time, honestly, I thought all the joy in my world was gone with the last dude dumping me. But as each day went by, the hurt became less and less. I find cutting off contact is the biggest healer. it was not too hard, he was simply uninterested in making contact and that took me a few stupid times to find out. It made it easy for me though to move on. I took him off my chat IMs, deleted all his text msgs, stay away from any forums he posts on and I took him off my myspace and facebook. I felt better after that and finally empowered after being dumped and cut out.

Sorry to go on...but my point is one baby step at a time. Have some time getting your life where you want it. And try to understand he was not ready to love someone like you. He could not appreciate you it sounds like.

I'm new here, too. We can be new together!

I'm 39 and have two children--ages 19 and 17--with my first husband. I've been married twice. My first ex husband is 2 yrs older than me, my second almost-ex husband is 4 yrs younger.

I've also had relationships with 3 men more than 10 yrs younger than I am. One lasted 18 months, and at one point we were engaged. Another lasted 10 months online; when it came time to meet f2f, he bugged out. The third lasted 3 weeks, and when it was over, it was over.

No matter what a person's age is, there's a huge difference between someone who is openly playing the field and someone who's seeing 2 ppl at the same time and keeping it secret from both of you, even if he does 'fess up to it later of his own free will.

There's also a huge difference between a partner who'll make decisions that affect you as a couple without talking to you, and one who respects your input so much that he/she wouldn't even think of doing such a thing. (I'm not referring to someone who does something wonderful like booking that trip to Jamaica that you've always dreamed of as a surprise for your birthday; I'm talking about ppl who do cruddy things like deciding that they don't want a relationship with you because you don't have common interests before they even know you well enough to know what your interests are.)

Have you ever heard of the four agreements?
Always do your best.
Be impeccable with your word.
Don't take anything personally.
Don't make assumptions.

Here's a link to more about them:
http://www.toltecspirit.com/

Be better for having known him, but don't accept the burden that he moved on because there's something wrong with you. No matter how he packaged it, he moved on because of him. Be glad it happened sooner rather than later. ;)