My YW/OM relationship

I am new here, and I can't wait to share about my relationship. Its hard to talk to anyone else around me about it because they just don't understand.

My OM is 45, I'm 23. We've been seeing each other for over a year now. He is the first considerably older man that I have dated.
I've sought out some support due to some recent developments. To keep the story short, I'm in the "doghouse", so our relationship was kinda strained (this happened just a week ago).
During his last visit (Wednesday, to "talk about things") he said a few things that I cannot stop thinking about...
"I'm still incredibly attracted to you, there's no denying that"
"If I were ten years younger, we would be married already"
And then while cuddling, "I can't pull you close enough" (Which made me want to cry, but I fought it back).

The married thing really just blew me away. I had no idea he felt that way about me at all. I know he had just gotten divorced when we started dating and he said he did want to get married in a couple years again. I had figured I was just a rebound thing and though I developed feelings, never thought I might see those reflected.

Well I'm not sure really what to think or say. He said he keeps himself guarded since his divorce (ex-wife cheated on him among other horrible things), but that he had gotten closer to me than anyone else. Like I said I had never been wiser to that.

I asked why not now at 45? And of course he said my family would never approve. His family wouldn't care either way, but my parents would probably freak out. My mom already knows I have been seeing him (she did her on background research on him). She's not crazy about it, but she knows she can't stop me.

Anyway I guess I just don't know how to deal with that information. I care for him a lot, and would consider a long-term relationship, but I'm not sure what his intentions were with the marriage comment. When he was here, we were intimate, and during that he looked at me and said, go ahead and say it, just say it... Well I was thinking, "God, I love you." but I don't think that's what he was thinking. I wonder what would have happened if I did.

"If I were ten years younger, we would be married already"...
Well I was thinking, "God, I love you." but I don't think that's what he was thinking. I wonder what would have happened if I did.

Dear, I think his first quote above is his way of testing the water so to speak. Sometimes men will look for feedback on something that's important to them by making a declaration of their own feelings, and then assessing the results. And enough with the "thinking" already! If you feel the urge to say, "God, I love you," just say it. He's a big boy; he'll handle it. For all of the other things that can get in the way of a perfectly good relationship, it should never be your ability to communicate with one another. You mean a lot to him S-R. That includes marriage by the way, or he never would have brought it up.:bighug:

With you all the way,
Mike

And enough with the "thinking" already! If you feel the urge to say, "God, I love you," just say it. He's a big boy; he'll handle it. For all of the other things that can get in the way of a perfectly good relationship, it should never be your ability to communicate with one another. You mean a lot to him S-R. That includes marriage by the way, or he never would have brought it up.:bighug:

With you all the way,
Mike

haha, I do a lot of thinking/over-analyzing!

Thanks for your response. It makes me feel better about it, because I was starting to think I had miscontrued his comment. It certainly wasn't a proposal, but still...

I guess I didn't say it because I didn't want to push him away. Being honest has rarely gotten me far in a relationship before .

Thanks for your response. I know I do a lot of overanalyzing. I had always questioned our relationship somewhat, even though I feel very comfortable around him. His comment I guess let me know exactly how he feels about me. Now I just don't know what to do with it... :)

ETA: I avoided saying those words because I did not want to push him away. Being honest like that before (with I love you, or even just like you a lot), has never gotten me far. But then again, those were younger guys (my age) and not an older man. I guess that makes a difference? I'm not sure.

His comment I guess let me know exactly how he feels about me. Now I just don't know what to do with it... :)

ETA: I avoided saying those words because I did not want to push him away. Being honest like that before (with I love you, or even just like you a lot), has never gotten me far. But then again, those were younger guys (my age) and not an older man. I guess that makes a difference? I'm not sure.
When my bf and I met for real, he was your age and I was as old as your man. :p We never held back in the "I love you"s, and 5 years later we still don't. If you feel it, say it.

Whatever you do, just be careful about birth control, he just came out of a marriage, and even if he wants to marry you, he will probably not be ready for a couple of years.

Good luck and again, welcome.

Thanks :)

I know I'm not necessarily ready for a child (still in school). From day one I have required him to wear a condom. (Kinda knew he was a keeper when he did it without complaining.) I'm usually on bc, but either way, always a condom! Though I trust him now and know him enough to believe he is STD free, we still do not want to have kids (his two girls are 9 and 10 now), so we do what it takes to keep us protected.

Don't get caught up with what he said, just go with the flow. In other words, until he is more firm in his decisions about the viability of the relationship, continue to guard your heart. Talk is cheap, let him prove it.

If you really want to know how he feels, then talk to him about it and don't worry about pushing him away. :yes:

Well last night he asked me if I was in love with him and for me to be honest.
I was, I told him yes. This was out of no where and it kind of had my scared/worried, because being honest about how I felt has usually ended the relationhip.
He said "No, no, no, don't worry!" His answer to his own question was that he wasn't sure. His feelings had "come out more then I thought in this situation." Which is true, you know, I wouldn't be posting any of this. I know he is afraid of letting his guard down, so his answer doesn't really worry me. But it just kind of adds to all this.

So now in the aftermath of all this it seems like my OM is trying to make more of an effort to see me more often. He may be passing through Sunday evening and then again on Wednesday and Thursday of next week. These are all maybes at this point, but hopefully they will come to be reality. Its only been about a week since I saw him last, but I do really miss him a lot.